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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Hi there! Dtflex, you have been on my mind all week, prayers!
Back home and into the routine. after a nice week away from home. first time we left for that long...lunch with friend, long weekend at the beach and then a couple days back with my bff...With ma and the dogs so still lotta work and all the cooking and cleaning.....but it was pretty and relaxing! Mom absolutely enjoyed it..She would not stop saying how nice it was, how peaceful, she even sed she wants to stay there forever...and 3 days later still remembered, vaguely, being by "the big water" She usually does not remember anything. didn't remember being in hospital etc....she remembered, yea!!!! I think as an alternate to respite maybe a weekend to the beach with her mite be good for us both, next time no kitchen tho, lol!!! I was so relaxed too! Feels like a dream now, back to the routine and start figuring out what to do bout MA n me. I don't think physically I can do this even if I could mentally, much longer my back hurts sometime so bad and she is a small woman thank goodness! for now I am a bit refreshed from all the great ideas here and our break but it will be work just to keep myself from the low points and the burnout now we back to the reality of things. ho hum wa wa wa... Just venting cuz I am in such a bad position right now, I am not so down anymore just overwhelmed with how much of a hole we are in and all that needs to happen....Least I see the light at the top, lol!!!
Yes I agree Cuz's wifes freind just drop her off anyway.. people can be so insensitive, I have no family but friends have offered to give me a break only to renig when time came! concert tix n hotel stay a waste...really no recourse with friends except I don't ask anymore! I think I actually don't wanna leave her, I desperately need the time off, of course, but she getting so weak lately it scares me to leave her!
I was home helper for a man with Alz. His wife was an amazing woman & I loved being able to allow her to vent. She told me of an incident when she was trying to track down an "odd" scent in her kitchen. Turns out she discovered her husband's "deposits" in a drawer she used for potatoes. I told her not to be offended if I declined any future invitations for dinner in the future. We laughed so hard we cried!
Cuz: That's just wrong. I'm so sorry. If it helps, pass our website on and tell her to join us. What a sad situation. People (relatives) can be so amazingly heartless.
From what I understand is that her other sister lives not 4 blocks from her and she said she couldn't get any time away from her $50,000 job so Cindy told her to take a flying F---. So now she has 2 sisters on her shit list but nobody to watch ma. Its just a bloody shame when people have to act this way. I guess I have to be thankful for the family. Let me say STRONG family that we have and for the 95 yr old mil that raised her 3 girls not to act as foolish as others do when it comes to family ties.
Hey gals Thought I would vent for a friend of the wife's. She has been caring for her mother for three years now with dementia. She had made plans to go see her son out in Las Vegas over three months ago. She called her sister to see if she could watch ma for Memorial Day weekend. The sister said I guess it would be alright. So Cindy called her son, bought the airline tickets and was supposed to be leaving tommorrow morning right? Wrong..... her sisters 5 year old daughter called Cindy today and said we don't want that old lady staying with us. Cindy said let me speak with your mother. Her sister said they changed their mind and made other plans. Cindy was so mad she just slammed the phone down and called to cancel the flight tickets. My wife said she is so close to having a nervous breakdown it is scary. Its a bitch when they only give you less than 12 hr notice. If it were me I would have brought her down to her sisters, get ma into the house and said see ya next week tuesday. Now I'm starting to get a clearer picture of what some of you gals have been going through with your different situations. Like cousin bobbie has said more than once get them out of the house so you can have your life back. Thanks for letting me vent for this friend of ours. luvCuz
Bobbi, my 80 year old stepfather, who was in the airforce, was telling my Navy talk. He was stationed on Guam after WWII, but the airforce sent him there by boat. He said you had to " lash a line to the swab and heave it over the stern:". (that's how you cleaned the mop).
Exciting thunder and lightening storms here last night! With all the talk about Oklahoma-my anxieties were high while we were having a tornado warning. None appeared tho thank God! Those poor people in OK. Prayers sent up for all of them! Mom stayed in bed till 2pm yesterday but when she got up she seemed fine. I feed her in bed so her sugar won't get low... She did have a bad headache which I believe was the storm coming. Today, she wanted to get up at 9am! Ya just never know with her! We have baby robins right outside our front door in a little tree. I have been taking pictures of them each week. There are 4 in the nest and I don't know how they fit they are getting so big! Mom and Dad squawk at us when we peek at the babies. (Or come in or out of the house!) Pretty soon they will be teaching them to fly! Looking forward to my niece's wedding this weekend. Hoping for good weather. Gonna be another hot one today and then cool off a lot. Such extremes... ugh. Well, hoping for the best today for everyone. Mame
I just heard from Diane and she said that her sister arrived last night and that her mom was breathing slower and slower. Diane is holding up as best as we all do when we finally face this and she said that she wants her mom's suffering to end but doesn't want her to leave. Ah yes, I remember that feeling well.
I told her that we all are holding her and her mom in our hearts.
MUCH too humid here to take mom out of her air conditioning. She won't be able to breathe. Rescheduling her Dr appt. She won't get out of bed either which is strange. I fed her in bed and she is sleeping. The day care says she HAS to come at least one day a week-I hope this summer won't be terribly humid or we will have to quit the daycare. (Or be kicked out anyway) Guess I don't need to stress about this right now and see what the summer brings... My boys are both out and about today and I am thankful for the peace and quiet! Air conditioners running all over the house. My next house will have central air! Even the dog is staying indoors today! I would love to find the right thing to say to Diane-you all speak so sweetly and seem to know the right things to say. I am not good at that. But, I do want you to know Diane that I am thinking of you and all you are going through and praying for you all! My dad waited for us all to be gone to die. I swear he did. Everyone had been there, my brother-a priest, had just said mass at the house with everyone around Dad. Within 10 minutes of everyone leaving-he passed. Mom was in the other room. We had no idea he was that close-still talking a bit, received a small piece of Communion... I swear he planned it! He died in the warmth of knowing his family had all been there with him and I am sure he was content. I guess it is different for everyone. I don't know why I am writing this...what Diane is going through does bring up memories! I didn't have a great relationship or love for my father. But I did admire the way he died. He had 64 days and he was so brave about it that it helped me to find some love for him. I will always be thankful that we knew he was going to die and had that time with him. Had he crashed the car and died the day they found the brain tumor, we never would have seen that side of him and gotten that closure. Things happen for a reason I believe. OK, well, I better roust mother out of bed. Funny, she doesn't even remember dad let alone how he died! Some of her memory issues I would swear are selective! And that is ok-cause he wasn't always good to her...so it is better for her to forget. Hang in there everybody! Mame
Shary do not beat yourself up I had shingles twice the first time I thought I had a bug bite but it hurt instead of itching and got it dx quicly and went on meds the second time was when I mother was in the process of dying and just had some mild discomfort and went to a doc for other things and he said I had had shingles and did not know it that disease can present itself in different way everyone does not get the severe pain and along a nerve pathway a rash-even a doc could probably miss it.
Juju~I can understand your worry about your mom. I am happy she didn't have to undergo a surgery, that would have been very scary too. Mom had a problem with cold sores about 35-40 years ago, always on her chin and usually it resulted from stress. Then she started taking an amino acid called L-Lysine and she quit getting them. I am glad in both our situations it turned out ok for our mom's. Thank you all for the support!!
Wow sharyn...Shingles is scary so glad she did not get much pain, I had a friend get it. no sores but she had a monster headache for 3 days finally couldn't take it went to ER n voila...shingles.... But don't feel bad, we cant always know everything...especially if they have trouble communicating, not sure with your Ma....I sure know how you feel tho... few weeks ago ma fell outta her wheelchair and was hospitalized for refracturing her hip. I had not clipped the seatbelt as we were just going 5 ft to bathroom...but lil emergency and I had to run outside for couple minutes, not remembering I did not lock her in, when I got back she was on floor.. so I had her taken up for xray they kept her as a refracture....would now require surgery to fix after just healing up from non surgery repaired break as she will not make it thru. I spent the nite beside myself...I had just signed her death cert....I prayed all nite and the next day went to consult with surgeon and he says "she just fine, no new damage!! I nearly lost my mind the nite b4 and now it is ok...my jaw dropped literally!!! Just glad she is ok and will never never leave seatbelt unbuckled no matter what!!
When my father passed, we were staying in a motel near the hospital and had just wnet to shower n get some rest, hour later at 1am they called us back saying "the time" was near. Ma n I sat there with him.... I was so scared, I didn't know what to do, or moreso.....what to expect! I started playing cd's, the music calmed us! it was a long scary nite with the breathing stop n starting as dtflex mentioned while back....sun was coming up and we were listening to one of their's...Andrea Bocelli...the cd nearing the end, the last song was one of all our favorites, mom and I sang and held his hands...and told him it is ok to go.....Dad spirit ever so peacefully left us then DURING that song......."Time to say goodbye" I will be eternally grateful to the lord and powers that be for making this incredibly painful task a memory of amazing joy, when I reflect on his death it is the thing that brings a smile to my face!! It was truly a sign of sorts!.....
.I can only hope DTFlex you find your moment in this!!!
Thanks for letting me share that it is cathartic...
Diane: Just be in the moment. Not ahead and not behind It's hard to do that, but if you can, it's a comfort; a comfort that will endure. I feel so sad for you and your mom and I admire all you have had the strength to endure. Diane, you are awesome and amazing. You are so much more than your sibs could ever be. Take some comfort in that knowledge.
I have no doubt that if your brother had a terminal illness diagnosed in the next few months, you would be there for him to help in any way possible. That is who you are and it's just not who they are. You, my dear friend, are a superior human being. I feel privileged to know you.
I know it's very difficult right now and I was so sad when you mentioned earlier that your mom had cried during the day. That broke my heart and I know it broke yours. I am feeling your pain, Diane. We all are. We are with you in spirit and heart as we have always been.
Just know that you are loved and greatly admired.
Love and white light to you and your precious mom.
Dtflex...My prayers are with you and your mom. It sounds like she is on her way to her heavenly home. I pray everyone continues to support you at this time. This is the worst thing to have to endure. But just know...she isn't suffering. The loved one watching the process is suffering more. The hospice nurses were very helpful with mom when she was dying. They said when they drift into sleep...near the end. She will be in a coma...and will not feel pain. The hearing is the last to go..so whisper in her ear tell her you love her....and you want her to be at peace. So she should go when its her time and that you will be okay. It's a form of release...and you will be glad you did. I'm so sorry...like I said its the worst part of the whole process. But take care of you too. God Bless.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Dtflex, you have been on my mind all week, prayers!
Back home and into the routine. after a nice week away from home. first time we left for that long...lunch with friend, long weekend at the beach and then a couple days back with my bff...With ma and the dogs so still lotta work and all the cooking and cleaning.....but it was pretty and relaxing! Mom absolutely enjoyed it..She would not stop saying how nice it was, how peaceful, she even sed she wants to stay there forever...and 3 days later still remembered, vaguely, being by "the big water" She usually does not remember anything. didn't remember being in hospital etc....she remembered, yea!!!! I think as an alternate to respite maybe a weekend to the beach with her mite be good for us both, next time no kitchen tho, lol!!! I was so relaxed too!
Feels like a dream now, back to the routine and start figuring out what to do bout MA n me. I don't think physically I can do this even if I could mentally, much longer my back hurts sometime so bad and she is a small woman thank goodness! for now I am a bit refreshed from all the great ideas here and our break but it will be work just to keep myself from the low points and the burnout now we back to the reality of things. ho hum wa wa wa... Just venting cuz I am in such a bad position right now, I am not so down anymore just overwhelmed with how much of a hole we are in and all that needs to happen....Least I see the light at the top, lol!!!
Yes I agree Cuz's wifes freind just drop her off anyway.. people can be so insensitive, I have no family but friends have offered to give me a break only to renig when time came! concert tix n hotel stay a waste...really no recourse with friends except I don't ask anymore! I think I actually don't wanna leave her, I desperately need the time off, of course, but she getting so weak lately it scares me to leave her!
Love, prayers, and thanks to you all!!!
Now I'm starting to get a clearer picture of what some of you gals have been going through with your different situations. Like cousin bobbie has said more than once get them out of the house so you can have your life back.
Thanks for letting me vent for this friend of ours.
luvCuz
you know what GUAM stands for?
(got this from a Navy guy......)
Give Up And Masturbate.
lovbob
Mom stayed in bed till 2pm yesterday but when she got up she seemed fine. I feed her in bed so her sugar won't get low... She did have a bad headache which I believe was the storm coming. Today, she wanted to get up at 9am! Ya just never know with her!
We have baby robins right outside our front door in a little tree. I have been taking pictures of them each week. There are 4 in the nest and I don't know how they fit they are getting so big! Mom and Dad squawk at us when we peek at the babies. (Or come in or out of the house!) Pretty soon they will be teaching them to fly!
Looking forward to my niece's wedding this weekend. Hoping for good weather. Gonna be another hot one today and then cool off a lot. Such extremes... ugh.
Well, hoping for the best today for everyone. Mame
I just heard from Diane and she said that her sister arrived last night and that her mom was breathing slower and slower. Diane is holding up as best as we all do when we finally face this and she said that she wants her mom's suffering to end but doesn't want her to leave.
Ah yes, I remember that feeling well.
I told her that we all are holding her and her mom in our hearts.
Love you guys,
lovbob
My boys are both out and about today and I am thankful for the peace and quiet! Air conditioners running all over the house. My next house will have central air! Even the dog is staying indoors today!
I would love to find the right thing to say to Diane-you all speak so sweetly and seem to know the right things to say. I am not good at that. But, I do want you to know Diane that I am thinking of you and all you are going through and praying for you all!
My dad waited for us all to be gone to die. I swear he did. Everyone had been there, my brother-a priest, had just said mass at the house with everyone around Dad. Within 10 minutes of everyone leaving-he passed. Mom was in the other room. We had no idea he was that close-still talking a bit, received a small piece of Communion... I swear he planned it! He died in the warmth of knowing his family had all been there with him and I am sure he was content. I guess it is different for everyone. I don't know why I am writing this...what Diane is going through does bring up memories! I didn't have a great relationship or love for my father. But I did admire the way he died. He had 64 days and he was so brave about it that it helped me to find some love for him. I will always be thankful that we knew he was going to die and had that time with him. Had he crashed the car and died the day they found the brain tumor, we never would have seen that side of him and gotten that closure. Things happen for a reason I believe.
OK, well, I better roust mother out of bed. Funny, she doesn't even remember dad let alone how he died! Some of her memory issues I would swear are selective! And that is ok-cause he wasn't always good to her...so it is better for her to forget.
Hang in there everybody! Mame
Thank you all for the support!!
But don't feel bad, we cant always know everything...especially if they have trouble communicating, not sure with your Ma....I sure know how you feel tho...
few weeks ago ma fell outta her wheelchair and was hospitalized for refracturing her hip. I had not clipped the seatbelt as we were just going 5 ft to bathroom...but lil emergency and I had to run outside for couple minutes, not remembering I did not lock her in, when I got back she was on floor.. so I had her taken up for xray they kept her as a refracture....would now require surgery to fix after just healing up from non surgery repaired break as she will not make it thru. I spent the nite beside myself...I had just signed her death cert....I prayed all nite and the next day went to consult with surgeon and he says "she just fine, no new damage!! I nearly lost my mind the nite b4 and now it is ok...my jaw dropped literally!!! Just glad she is ok and will never never leave seatbelt unbuckled no matter what!!
I will be eternally grateful to the lord and powers that be for making this incredibly painful task a memory of amazing joy, when I reflect on his death it is the thing that brings a smile to my face!! It was truly a sign of sorts!.....
.I can only hope DTFlex you find your moment in this!!!
Thanks for letting me share that it is cathartic...
This is the part where the angels are truly there and you are one of them.
What msdaizy says. And Cat. And Jen.
except this:
If your brother gets a terminal illness run like hell.
Mame! ugh with the know-it-all boys2men. Can you send them on a snipe hunt?
Do they know about that yet?
Sharyn! Shingles happens! Not your fault!
lovbob
I have no doubt that if your brother had a terminal illness diagnosed in the next few months, you would be there for him to help in any way possible. That is who you are and it's just not who they are. You, my dear friend, are a superior human being. I feel privileged to know you.
I know it's very difficult right now and I was so sad when you mentioned earlier that your mom had cried during the day. That broke my heart and I know it broke yours. I am feeling your pain, Diane. We all are. We are with you in spirit and heart as we have always been.
Just know that you are loved and greatly admired.
Love and white light to you and your precious mom.
I'm so sorry...like I said its the worst part of the whole process. But take care of you too. God Bless.