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Good Morning Crew,

Eyerish, good to see you and I hope you are coping! It's so tough...

Diane! Your time right now brings back the memories of my mom and the last days. Ow Ow. Love to you.

Cat! a beautiful post!

Jen! Did you get to try that software yet? I am looking forward to hearing you go: WooHoo this works!

Cuz! How are you feeling? Are you back to being yourself yet?

Meanwhile! Austin! DEEF!! Rip! Kuli! MAME!!! Everybody!

I will check in a little later to see how everyone is.

lovbob
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Peace to you and your mom D. Love Jen
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Flex,

Thinking of you and your mom today. I lost my dad 6 days ago. You're right where you're supposed to be. You're mom is so lucky to have you with her. I'll check back and see how you're doing.
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Well said Cattails. I think you spoke beautifully...great way to think about it.
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I'm sorry Flex....I will pray for you and your mom. God Bless.
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Diane: I don't know what is happening with you and your mom right now, but I am just praying that your mom is at peace and resting quietly. That's how I spent the last 2 days of my dad's life, sitting by his side and holding his hand while he gradually left this world. He was peaceful and non-responsive. I held his hand and every once in a while, I would lean down and whisper in his ear and tell him how much I loved him and what a great dad he was.

I know your mom was such a loving presence in your life and that is what you are remembering right now. That's the good part, because that is how she would want you to think of her and that is who she would want you to miss.

Your mom has suffered through so much with her illness and dementia and you have felt every pain and anguish during this journey. If it is possible, be by her side with a spiritual openness to what is transpiring. I feel kind of stupid saying this because maybe the time isn't right, but you and she are experiencing a rebirth and you are her faithful witness. You continue to be by her side as you have always been. You have witnessed her love for you, the disease that claimed her, her decline and now her impending passing. You are the constant in her history. Perfection was never required, just the humanness of your love and desire to care for her. You have done it all in spite of the cost to yourself. That's enough. If you can, be grateful that the time of her suffering is coming to a close. Be quite in spirit and be by her side. Your job is done, but you will remain her faithful witness until the end. It is an honored position and you have earned it. I always felt those last two days with my dad was a holy time. I knew he was with God even before he passed.

I hope I have not overstepped in this post. Sending you and your dear mother love and the blessing of God's white and loving light.

Love you, Cat.
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Flex~ You are in my thoughts and i also have a candle going for you and your mom.!! Hugs!
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I've heard from Flex and she is sitting with her mom.
It's good to see you Linda! Hope you're doing ok.
Love to Debbie.

lovbob
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gonna lite a candle for u flex and ur mom . big hugs !! thinking of u and praying for you and ur mom .
xoxo
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Flex!
How long has this been going on?
We're here sweet girl.
lovbob
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Feeling a little lost and alone as mom fades away. Her BP is only 64/47 today
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Juju: You have a really good time. Safe travels, Cattails
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Oh my, 54 years ago, That is awesome and something to consider very special!! Oprah worthy, lol!!!

Oh you ladies are crackin me up, yup driving at nite is a good thing...so are the teeth!

Take care y'all....

Headed out early tomoro to see my BESTIE haven't socialized with since last August! SO looking forward a day with her then on to a couple nites at the beach, hopefully she will join us there too once she gets her weekly work schedule!
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Us seniors were talking about what we would want in a man and the major thing was that he could drive at night-he and I graduated from high school 54 yrs ago.
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Just want to add, as I kinda missed it earlier, about Angelina Jolie...not only is she preserving her childrens future with her! she is saving many a future caregiver the misery of escorting their loved one thru a miserable death! That's why I felt I had to say it here!!! She Is doing all a solid!!!
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Teeth are important too.....
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Sorry my filter broke, im so tired...I should have sed an employed sober man, rather than what I did! anyway have a good day y'all!!
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Heck he came n picked me up the first date in the same damn muscle car we used to "cruise" in back in the day, I was hooked from the start!!!
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Austin, Thank you for your kind and comforting thought, yes that is true isn't it? just had to share good for you about your man. I actually re-united with my high school sweetheart after 25 ys. I was with him when this mom thing happened and things went bad for us, unfortunately, we went back n forth, off n on for years but I couldn't keep him happy and take care of mom too!! it was painful decision, more painful than my divorce, but ultimately he did have some anger issues and maybe I was done a favor, is the way I look at it.. it was swept up in the romance fairytalishness of the situation...to find and love again so much later. I am so happy you have that chance to live a fairytale I don't wanna throw a blanket on it by any means, but do wanna say keep your eyes wide open as you enjoy it. so happy for you I will pray this works out for you, we all need somebody, if I could find a decent prospect wit a full set o teeth out here I mite actually think maybe I should date again!
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I am taking off tomoro tho for several days to see my beloved friend 2 hrs away.I miss her so, we planned this while ago as for her return from a month in France, to see her parents/family...The timing couldn't be more perfect except for I was so down last week I felt I would not be able to get us there, im stressing now but a good stress just lots to get done so we can go!! BCUZ......We ARE packing up the crew and getting a change of scenery!!!
Love to you all!
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my husband died 4 yrs ago next month the day after Faraha Facett and Micheal Jackson and I stayed on here to help give back support to other using my unasked for experience and because I had formed friendships with so many-some of who remain also after caregiving -we learn from each other and support each other and pull folks out the the black hole-I was in the black hole myself but did not have a name for it and most important I learned why my mother treated us kids and especially my so bad-she was narcistic and it was not me being bad as she always told me it was her meanness-she changed who I would have been but did survive her and an abustive marriage and now at this age fell in love with a great man whom by the way went to high school with many many years ago.
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Juju remember you are doing the best you can with what was handed to you - and your Mom calle you her pretty girl with a great smile so she feels secure in your care so please do not worry that you aren't doing enough.
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Relieved but still have insomnia, ughh! so I'll add one more thing. As both a caregiver and a women I wanted to share this. I don't usually follow celebrity news but so proud of Angelina Jolie for doing what she did. She has been questioned about some things in the past but I think she is setting a brave example for women and awareness. Being proactive in making sure she is around to mother her pack o kids!!! I never knew there was even a test like that available! I wonder if insurance covers it and the preventative and reconstructive surgery??? (not that I have any insurance, lol)
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Today was a wonderful day! I smiled so much and truly felt the smile, genuinely...been a long time since I didn't have to fake it!!! I love all I read and learn here but I am ODing on info now... I needa take a break and let this first wave of info soak in! spend more time doing something bout our situation now that I am feeling a little less hopeless and more empowered! Knowledge Is power and thank everyone for sharing deep personal experiences, I believe it is beneficial to both the sharer and the shareee, lol!!!

So my gross story to give ya all a laff...couple weeks ago changing mom poopy butt (she can stand for changing and transfer to but is not allowed to walk)
so I got her up next to bed to clean n dress for the A.M. I begin and it is a mess, everywhere she had a loose one. So my back n things start aching as I am bending to clean her up....I decide I gotta sit, so I do. I was horrified as I felt the warmth soak into my jammies...ughh......right in the soaking wet/soiled bed pad. I laffed so damn hard, after I got me cleaned up, it is all I can do! Now that is humiliation at its finest!
I am gonna be so busy next few days, playing catch up from past week, so hopefully I wont be ranting like a maniac here for a bit anyway, hahaha
Have a great day,
Juju!!!
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Me either. My husband has been gone year and a half, and I still hang around. Although, I am starting to have to do more for my Mom and Step Dad.
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agree, not offended here....
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Juju...never feel that you would be offensive. We have lived the life you are currently living. We know the frustrations of care giving and the desperation of feeling alone in it. What ever you need to say...say it. Especially if it makes you feel better and gives you the support from others you need. We have all done it. Believe me...when I first accessed this site..my cries were plenty, and these wonderful people got me through the roughest of times.
I do believe when our loved ones are suffering so much...it is a blessing. And the thought that she has no more pain is one of the benefits...among many... in the realms of eternal peace.
You do what you have to do to survive...and thrive. I hope you will come back and keep coming back. As you see...my mom has been gone now for 5 months and I am still here. The love shown here is therapy for me. Thanks for your kind words. God Bless you...and everyone here at Agingcare.
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Juju! You haven't offended anyone here!

pee on the haters.

msdaisy, so sorry for your loss. Thanks for being here.

lovbob
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juju~I haven't read anything from you that would be offensive. On these threads, it's all about respecting that each and everyone of us comes from different family dynamics, we've all had different experiences so no offense here. You are doing the best possible for you situation, take care!!
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MsDaisy...want to add so sorry for your loss As we all know...no more suffering! I kinda hate that saying (but all I can think of in my current state) cuz it really doesn't remove the pain but it is the benefit of the reality!!! I hope you are doing ok with this change in your life! Stay strong!!
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