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Hi all! Jen-scary fp took a tumble! That is one of my biggest worries with mom. Deef-yea 2 dresses! Everyone likes both but all agree on the one that should be for the wedding. I may keep the other one for when we go to Cape Cod. It is a pretty and fun dress. Such a bummer about your health! And no sleep-I couldn’t take it. Last night I thought of you when the full moon shone in my bedroom window and woke me up! Damn-do UTI’s and full moons go together?!! Hope things get better soon! Cuz –Glad your bro is doing better. How scary. Poor mil. Prayers for her! Sharynmarie-Just wanna give you a big hug! What you are going through is so hard and reading what you wrote just broke my heart for you. I feel like you need some time to digest the fact that she is in the AL place before you get into the whole house thing. I hope you can take one thing at a time… For me I do better if I have time to sort one thing out before getting into another. Especially big stuff like this! Lildeb-The jury is still out about my glasses. The frames are fine but it is the damn bifocal! It is really hard to get used to. I feel like one of those bobble head dolls-bouncing my head up and down trying to find the right place to look out of. I am thinking I should have gotten the bifocals with the line…might have been easier. Gonna give it some more time before I go back and talk to them about it. Flex-thanks for keeping us posted. Must be so hard to go through. {{Hugs}} Meanwhile- Hope that broken foot heals up soon! Silver tooth! Fun! Hope momma kitty will be ok. I cannot understand people being so cruel….dropping them off… ugh. Bobbie-good to hear from you. Drama on the docks huh? Sounds like a soap opera! haha Austin-Happy you have your old friend to get together with! Something to look forward to! Hey Cat & Linda & Susan and everyone else out there in caregiver land! Things here are the same. Mom is getting completely exhausted from daycare. Hubby says to keep sending her and she will get used to it and not be so sleepy the next day. She does daycare Tues and Thurs. She was very confused yesterday but did fine. I am a worry wart so I am always questioning if I am doing the right thing. Ugh. It will be a busy weekend with our son’s last concert at college Sat night …and my nieces wedding shower Sunday. Supposed to be nice weather so that is good too. Have coverage for mom, Thank God, so I can get to both. Hope everyone can have a moment of peace this weekend! Mame
"Oddly" probably best way to describe how I express myself. no worries Sharyn.
fp took a header At the center this morning, somehow got foot caught under wheel chair?...hit his head and scraped his hands. so he is ...quiet today when he got home, probably scared himself, is embarrassed and once again reminded of his age and limitations...
Deef: You need to get a major physical. Autoimmune issues may have a lot to do with your leg problems. You have some decisions to make. I hope you put yourself first for a change. Sending you white light and my deepest, heartfelt wishes for a better life for you.
Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't been there for you lately. Going through a major Autoimmune flare-up here. I don't think there is one inch of my body that doesn't hurt! I have to get Mom to the neurologist for 1PM tomorrow. That should be fun considering it's full moon and she has a UTI!!! My husband will have to drive us as Mom has decided to shift my car whenever I take her in it. She never did learn to drive, but seems to be fascinated with the shifter in my car now. It's either that or she is trying to open the door as we are driving down the road. I like to get her to her appointments in the morning, as she is much better then, so tomorrow should be really interesting. I have to pack diapers, drink, and her noon meds. Then I have to make sure I have the foot rests and the straps to tie her feet down, or I won't be able to push her into the building. I have to remember to take a chux pad with me too. My husbands car has cloth seats, so I don't want any accidents! It's going to be a very long day! I will try to catch up with everyone when I can. Shirley, glad the foot is getting better! Sharyn, sounds like mom is doing okay in her new place. Don't let it eat you up. You all did what was best for you and it may take a bit of time, but your mom will settle in after a while and you will all feel better. Bobbie!!!!!!! Did we forget to tell Linda "Boat Time"? Linda!!!! BOAT TIME!!!!! Off to bed, long day tomorrow!
Sharyn, you are doing the best you can, for yourself and your mother. Hope it gets easier. Skeet shooting FP's records, that is too funny.. Maybe you could disable the player? Those old players are hard to find parts for. I got my silver tooth. It is very shiny, and fun to show off. Then I spent the afternoon rounding up a stray cat, and her 5 kittens. Someone probably dumped them. The mother cat is very sweet, and a beautiful calico. The kittens not so sweet, two of them bit me. Not big enough to break the skin yet though. Will take them to the humane society tomorrow. We already have 6 cats here at the ranch. Don't need 6 more. Poor mother cat is just skin and bones.
Hi Sharyn, I am not sure either. I think I mean, that if you are nursing someone you are not related to it is sometimes easier but when you are close to a person and caring for them you remember them being healthy and able to care for themselves and it is harder to deal with...There is not the professional distance so to speak.
the other part bobbie had mentioned using fp records as Frisbees, I thought skeet shooting would be more fun.
Last week I was on vaca. Hubby and I did get away on Monday to Big Sur and had a great time. I told mom last week that she needed to think about moving to assisted living because the dr. has said she can't live alone anymore. She was upset all week, calling people telling them about it. Those who I have contact with all told her that she needed more help now...etc,etc. On Saturday I took her out shopping while my brother, sister, nephews and hubby moved her furniture. As much as we tried to have everything organized, there were delays with the execution and mom was getting antsy to get home to her dog. I texted hubby telling to tell my sister that I was going to have to take mom to lunch now and for her and my brother to meet us at applebee's. At this point in time I had been out with mom for 2 hours (not long when you think about moving furniture). My sis and brother didn't show up till mom and I were leaving...not good. If I had to do it over, I would have tried taking mom somewhere out of town and spending the night, but I don't think she would have gone for that because of the dog. Anyway I got her over to the community (we told her this was where we were going), she was understandably upset. I don't know how we could have done it better knowing how my mother is, but I wish we could have. Sis and I were there until around 8pm. Two aides came to get her weight and bp and I got mom to take her meds while they were there. I had to give my mom her meds over the weekend because the dr. didn't fax them a med list. When my brother is there, mom behaves better and when an aide is there she is better. My brother and I visited with her on Sunday. I have not seen her since because I want her to make the necessary adjustments, but I have been over there everyday this week tieing up loose ends. I will see her Friday, have lunch with her and just spend time with her. I never expected to feel so depressed. I have a hard time going to her house with all the memories growing up there. My brother and sis think it is best if we sell her house instead of renting it which makes me feel that we are betraying mom since she is still living. Sis has been a landlord before and does not want to that again so I understand. I have been a mess all week emotionally and I told them at the community that I am struggling with this, they said I can call them to talk or try to come to their support group meetings. I called to see if I can get the FMLA but haven't heard anything from them yet. Maybe by the time that is approved, I can handle going in mom's house. Overall they tell me mom is doing good considering the short amount of time she has been there. My brother who is in management told me it would be better if I use the FMLA than go out on disability. So much to do, so many emotions and memories.
So happy to hear good news about Ted, and you too Austin. My foot is slowly getting better. My boss is prepping the tooth with the root canal for a crown tomorrow. I'll have a silver temporary cap on it for a couple of weeks. Can I come an be a pirate on your boat Bobbie?
Austin! Good to hear from you as well. Glad you have a friend to do things with. Makes all the difference doesn't it?
Shirley! How's the foot coming along? Deef! How are you feeling?
Cuz! It sure was good to hear your voice the other day and I am so glad that Mike is doing better. It was great to see him and your mom when they came through. Your MIL sounds like a wise person and I hope her time is filled with friends, family and some laughs where everyone can find them.
Spoke to Ted again yesterday and he has recieved a scholarship to a college he has wanted to attend for a long time! This is great news and he is an example of coming out of being a solo caregiver and taking his mom all the way to the end, going through PTSD and finally seeing the sunlight on the other side. Congratulations Ted!
Jen! I still say frisbee all of those records that FP plays and tell him I dunno what happened. Stay as strong as you can. Oy.
Welcome to the new guys and yup, you're not alone. Keep venting, whether it's here or some other thread on this site, but keep venting. It will save your life.
Shout outs to everyone who reads and posts here. You all are part of a large community of caregivers past and present whose voices are important.
Bobbie -good to hear from you I have been busy with cleaning up the yard and have a new old friend-we went to high school together-it is so nice going places with someone and having him over to dinner-I hate eating alone. Thank you for the update on Ted-Cuz glad you are back on line-I tell most of you jokes to the ladies at the senior center.
Hi everyone I got my phone back. It quit saturday morning at 12:00pm and just came back on by itself today at 12:30pm. Stange because the phone company said they would have it fixed by wednesday night 8:00pm. MIL is still hanging on. They get her up in the morning for breakfast and clean her up,dress her then she is right back in bed praying to herself. Her mind is still sharp as a tack but the old body is giving up. My brother is in theripy right now for a week and then possibly going home either to his trailer or to my ma's. He is doing just great. Feels alot better but doesn't like being tied to just sitting in a room watching tv all day. I told him it could have been worse. He could have taken a one way ride in a coffin car. He said I no I waited to long. So thanks for the support. And would you believe that I haven't been on line for 2 1/2 days and no jokes. Sorry maybe there will be something tommorrow night. lovCuz
Cuz just called and wanted me to tell you guys that his internet is down until late Wednesday. His brother is getting better and his mil is resting at her home and getting visitors. Cuz and I got to visit for almost an hour on the phone. Pretty cool.
Got to talk with Ted again today and he is getting better bit by bit.
Shirley! I know how it feels to be unable to get around. Tore my right ankle up and then just a few weeks later my left knee. Ow Ow and there you have it. And you're right. Still not as tied down with not being able to walk as one is with caregiving.
Flex! Hope the headache eases up. Deef! Maybe you should have a Big Mac and a good nap? OK, just kidding. Not.
lildeb! Jen! susan! Cat! Linda! Everyone! Wish I could shout out to everyone but I am brain dead.
There's drama here and can't go into it but suffice it to say that it takes the soup right out of me. I guess it all will shake out one way or the other. *sigh*
I have been in LurkMode and doing the best I can. Love all you guys way more than you'll ever know.
Deef, hope you get some sleep. I looked at the lose it sight, and it seems easier to use than the WW site. Diane, sorry about your Mom. Waiting around, the better one day, not the next. It was the hardest. Try to take care of yourself. Susan, your FIL sounds like quite the handful. I hope; your husband appreciates what your doing. (he probably doesn't). Cuz, your MIL sounds like a tough old lady. I'm feeling sorry for myself, because I can't do much with this broken foot. Yet, I'm not nearly as tied down as when I was care giving. Hmmm. Jen, how did you do it with a broken ankle? Hope everyone had a quiet weekend. Love Shirley
Hi Crew, Mom and I are still hanging in there together. Mom fluctuates between not eating or drinking for a couple of days and then she eats and drinks which stabilizes her again. I've been laying low the last few days with a migraine headache. Take care everyone and I'll check in soon again.
Hello everyone: Cuz, so sorry about your mil. Sending prayers to you n your family. Mame, Let us know how u like your new glasses?. I have to go get my eyes checked in May n its been 4yrs since my last eye visit. As for my mil, she don't remember a lot of what they did at the Adult center either but u can tell she had a good time or at least she makes it sound that way. However, getting their is a whole new story. I will tell her the night before n the last hr before we have to leave. Of course, I make sure she has already ate n ready as well. That way I can get the necessary things myself for my appt n such. I hope u like your new glasses n that u can see a whole lot better.
Jen, Susan & Linda, sending you gals big cyber hugs. Let it all out n vent......At least Susan had a good tip with the towels to block off the smell while airing the room out. If it will make y'all feel better, mil thinks she has to go pee every ten minuets n she also thinks she has to run her hand in water. That means, waking up this morning n the bathroom sink water ran all freaking night some time after I went to bed! We r going to have a hellish water bill! Usually, I will know n turn it off but I slept right through it last night. As when the mil rooms starts to smell a bit funky, I start to look for used toilet paper hiding n drawers, behind book shelves, behind books, in shoes, pockets u name it. I guess u can say anywhere in her room except, the freaking toilet bowl! She thinks the toilet paper will clog it up n she don't use much. I may try a trash can again n that way maybe I won't have to search for it n just dump the crap in toilet. Linda, call my butt old too for it is kind of cold today after all that nasty rain. 100% today. I guess we needed it. Hopefully, it washes all the pollen away.
Hi Cat. I had to come all the way back home after my first appt with the butt dr for I forgot the time for the second appt with the diabetic dr. Everything fine but my A1 level did go up n the dr told me to bump up a unit when I start to stress when I grab something to eat. For some reason I will grab food for comfort when stressing n it is not the healthy stuff either. Stress level is getting much better since I have the mil going all day, one day a wk to one of the Adult center. Well, it raining, the power knocked off for a few seconds n the temp has dropped. Hopefully hubby n his bud will not have too much nasty weather on their way back from Atlanta from a technology conference. It is a gloomy day but I at least have a spoiled cat curled up on the side of our chair. I did say r n not mine for Vera thinks it is her chair. ; ) I hope I gave some of y'all at least a smile or a few chuckles today. Sending hugs.
First I just want to say that those of you in the Boston area, stay safe and be careful. I hope this ends soon for all of you that are dealing with it first hand!! Susan~I would make an appt. for a medication review with fil's dr. and go from there. Deef~How you are feeling better. It is hard to deal with day time responsibilities when you have little sleep day after day. I do the same thing, I push myself and eventually it all catches up with me and I'll sleep one night for 12 hours and start all over again. Mom's dr/my dr. talked with mom for quite some time yesterday telling her she can't live alone for safety reasons due to memory impairment. He told her it is not her fault and no one is blaming her. He gave her examples of her short term memory impairment by asking if she remembers calling his office. She said, yes, I called yesterday. He said what about the day before that. She said no I didn't call. He told her yes you did, you called 7 times 20 minutes apart. We didn't answer the phone because I had jury duty that day.I took mom's meds to the community today and gave mom the meds for today. I'll be going back to her house in a while to check on her and get her dinner. Have a good weekend everyone!!
Susan: I think it would be helpful if your husband arranged to get his dad to the doctor, via whatever way he thinks is best, as long as he just gets it done. His dad could benefit from a review of medications and possibly something new to help with the Sundowners. It seems that your husband's involvement is the key here. He will get further with his dad than you. Best of luck.
well yesterday's sundowner episode was the worst yet. tantrums, anger, confusion, the lot. apparently i am a horrid horrid woman. triggered by the fact that he thought my daughter was in the bathroom when she was out, and he was getting really angry by her three hour bath. when i pointed out the door was closed beccause he closes all the doors all the time, he exploded.
question: i think we need to tell him that his periods of confusion, anger and forgetfulness are getting worse, and can we go to the doctor about it. my husband says no, we just work around it until we can get him to the doctor for a different unrelated reason. what do you suggest?
I think it will be a matter of time for when mil passes. She says she is ready to go and meet her husband. She got back in her own room today and just cried, not from the pain but why is he keeping me here so long. My wife and her two sisters are all prepared to let her go. Of course it will still be tough going for awhile but like I said she is ready. Now my brother was doing great but today he hit the wall hard. I think all of the medication he was on kind of wore off and he said he not only hurts but feel like shit now too. He is extremely tired. I told him to ask for something to knock him out for the night and he might feel better in the am. Who knows. They won't let him go home if he can't handle things by himself yet. hugs to all for the support. lovCuz
Was hoping I wouldn't lose that like the long post I wrote earlier this week! Sharynmarie, Sorry your mom is not cooperating, but keep at it. Sometimes persistence pays off. She may get tired of arguing with everyone on the subject. If you can get her there a few times, and actually "sneak" out on her, that may help too. Cuz, so sorry to hear about your MIL. Nothing you can do when they make up their mind that they are ready to go. Hope your brother is doing better! Diane, How are you holding up? Austin, good to hear from you. Still crocheting? Susan26 and Jen, thanks for making me chuckle with your "airing out" stories! Been there, done that! Got to love disinfectant sprays! Connzie! Lots of funny stories here, and lots of not so funny ones, but rest assured, you are definitely not alone out there! LilDeb, how are you doing these days? Hope you are getting some help with your MIL. Cat, My daughter and I actually managed to get some pansies and English daisies in the ground this afternoon! had to get some color out there. Going to rain for a couple days, so I figured it was a good time to get the plants in the ground. The red raspberries are getting leaves and new shoots and the concord grape vines are budding. We are hoping to expand our veggie gardens this year too. Book, Msdaisy, Stormy, Mishka, how are you all doing? Linda!!!!! Sorry it is still so cold there! We had a couple warm days here, but going to be cold and rainy through the weekend here. Mame, You found 2 dresses? That's great!!! I hope they can help you decide on the perfect one! As for daycare, Mom has been going for 4 years and even with 4 days a week, she will still ask me "What's this place?" when we pull up in the morning! It's good to laugh at our situations. The alternative is just too depressing. I'm going to try to get some sleep again tonight, lord knows I need it! Hope you all have a good night and an even better day tomorrow! If I missed anyone, sorry! My brain is kind of sluggish these days!
Hey everyone! Been a rough week so far. Not sure why, but my legs have been very bad since Sunday night and I have to fight my way through the days to get anything done. I thought I had not taken my med on Sunday night, but I did. Just one of those unexplainable things. I have a "Fitbit" tracker that I wear 24/7 and it records activity, calories burned, steps taken and flights of stairs climbed, daily. It also records my sleep patterns and Sunday night it recorded no sleep at all! I may have dozed off a few times, but was active the entire time I was in bed! Most nights I log about 5-6 hours of sleep with 12 to 28 "wake-ups" during the time I am in bed. This has been my life for over 20 years and the main reason I have so much body pain and fatigue. No REM sleep to speak of. I have learned to push myself over the years and manage to make it through most days without missing a beat. This is when my autoimmune disease goes into a form of remission. Right now I'm having a bout that is keeping me awake and making me hurt from head to toe. The chronic fatigue is hard to deal with and I feel the need to go to bed often, but fight it as much as I can. It's not easy getting Mom off to daycare 4 days a week and having to lift her in and out of the car twice a day. She has been pretty uncooperative in the afternoons, so I put her to bed and get her back up for supper. It's increasing hard to get her to bed on my own. She is very much out of it by night time and just wants to grab at everything in her reach, or not! Hard to wash and dress her when you have to hold her down with one hand and do everything else with the other. She has a neurologist appointment next week, and I don't know how I will get her there by myself. Last time she shifted the car into second gear as I was doing 70 down the pike! I've managed to keep up my exercising and better eating habits, but it's not been easy. My husband and I did WW online 3 years ago and did very well. I lost 16lbs and he lost 30. Unfortunately I got sick for the better part of the winter that year and my husband lost his job, so we both put the weight and then some, back on. I am now doing the "Lose It" app online. It's free and you put in your height, weight, and age, then the weight you want to be and how many lbs. you want to lose per week. Then it tells you how many calories you need to eat/day to reach your goal, and how long it will take. You log in your food every day and your activities such as walking, yardwork, housework, etc and it tells you how many calories you have burned for each activity. My Fitbit links right to Lose It and automatically deducts calories burned throughout the day. I could do much better if I could get some good sleep!
plz shut the window im cold ! baahahaha i can just hear me say that when i get old . oh wait a min i must be old now cuz i am cold baaahahaha
CUZ - sending cyber hugs to you .. i would be too tired to fight anymore , my mom always says she couldnt wait to get on the other side . no worries just all smiles and feeling great . mmm sounds good .
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
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APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Jen-scary fp took a tumble! That is one of my biggest worries with mom.
Deef-yea 2 dresses! Everyone likes both but all agree on the one that should be for the wedding. I may keep the other one for when we go to Cape Cod. It is a pretty and fun dress. Such a bummer about your health! And no sleep-I couldn’t take it. Last night I thought of you when the full moon shone in my bedroom window and woke me up! Damn-do UTI’s and full moons go together?!! Hope things get better soon!
Cuz –Glad your bro is doing better. How scary. Poor mil. Prayers for her!
Sharynmarie-Just wanna give you a big hug! What you are going through is so hard and reading what you wrote just broke my heart for you. I feel like you need some time to digest the fact that she is in the AL place before you get into the whole house thing. I hope you can take one thing at a time… For me I do better if I have time to sort one thing out before getting into another. Especially big stuff like this!
Lildeb-The jury is still out about my glasses. The frames are fine but it is the damn bifocal! It is really hard to get used to. I feel like one of those bobble head dolls-bouncing my head up and down trying to find the right place to look out of. I am thinking I should have gotten the bifocals with the line…might have been easier. Gonna give it some more time before I go back and talk to them about it.
Flex-thanks for keeping us posted. Must be so hard to go through. {{Hugs}}
Meanwhile- Hope that broken foot heals up soon! Silver tooth! Fun! Hope momma kitty will be ok. I cannot understand people being so cruel….dropping them off… ugh.
Bobbie-good to hear from you. Drama on the docks huh? Sounds like a soap opera! haha
Austin-Happy you have your old friend to get together with! Something to look forward to!
Hey Cat & Linda & Susan and everyone else out there in caregiver land!
Things here are the same. Mom is getting completely exhausted from daycare. Hubby says to keep sending her and she will get used to it and not be so sleepy the next day. She does daycare Tues and Thurs. She was very confused yesterday but did fine. I am a worry wart so I am always questioning if I am doing the right thing. Ugh. It will be a busy weekend with our son’s last concert at college Sat night …and my nieces wedding shower Sunday. Supposed to be nice weather so that is good too. Have coverage for mom, Thank God, so I can get to both. Hope everyone can have a moment of peace this weekend! Mame
fp took a header At the center this morning, somehow got foot caught under wheel chair?...hit his head and scraped his hands. so he is ...quiet today when he got home, probably scared himself, is embarrassed and once again reminded of his age and limitations...
?...
I have to get Mom to the neurologist for 1PM tomorrow. That should be fun considering it's full moon and she has a UTI!!! My husband will have to drive us as Mom has decided to shift my car whenever I take her in it. She never did learn to drive, but seems to be fascinated with the shifter in my car now. It's either that or she is trying to open the door as we are driving down the road. I like to get her to her appointments in the morning, as she is much better then, so tomorrow should be really interesting. I have to pack diapers, drink, and her noon meds. Then I have to make sure I have the foot rests and the straps to tie her feet down, or I won't be able to push her into the building. I have to remember to take a chux pad with me too. My husbands car has cloth seats, so I don't want any accidents!
It's going to be a very long day! I will try to catch up with everyone when I can.
Shirley, glad the foot is getting better!
Sharyn, sounds like mom is doing okay in her new place. Don't let it eat you up. You all did what was best for you and it may take a bit of time, but your mom will settle in after a while and you will all feel better.
Bobbie!!!!!!!
Did we forget to tell Linda "Boat Time"? Linda!!!! BOAT TIME!!!!!
Off to bed, long day tomorrow!
Skeet shooting FP's records, that is too funny.. Maybe you could disable the player? Those old players are hard to find parts for.
I got my silver tooth. It is very shiny, and fun to show off. Then I spent the afternoon rounding up a stray cat, and her 5 kittens. Someone probably dumped them. The mother cat is very sweet, and a beautiful calico. The kittens not so sweet, two of them bit me. Not big enough to break the skin yet though. Will take them to the humane society tomorrow. We already have 6 cats here at the ranch. Don't need 6 more. Poor mother cat is just skin and bones.
the other part bobbie had mentioned using fp records as Frisbees, I thought skeet shooting would be more fun.
Sorry for the mix up....
Hmmmn how about skeet shooting bobbie...
Last week I was on vaca. Hubby and I did get away on Monday to Big Sur and had a great time. I told mom last week that she needed to think about moving to assisted living because the dr. has said she can't live alone anymore. She was upset all week, calling people telling them about it. Those who I have contact with all told her that she needed more help now...etc,etc. On Saturday I took her out shopping while my brother, sister, nephews and hubby moved her furniture. As much as we tried to have everything organized, there were delays with the execution and mom was getting antsy to get home to her dog. I texted hubby telling to tell my sister that I was going to have to take mom to lunch now and for her and my brother to meet us at applebee's. At this point in time I had been out with mom for 2 hours (not long when you think about moving furniture). My sis and brother didn't show up till mom and I were leaving...not good. If I had to do it over, I would have tried taking mom somewhere out of town and spending the night, but I don't think she would have gone for that because of the dog. Anyway I got her over to the community (we told her this was where we were going), she was understandably upset. I don't know how we could have done it better knowing how my mother is, but I wish we could have. Sis and I were there until around 8pm. Two aides came to get her weight and bp and I got mom to take her meds while they were there. I had to give my mom her meds over the weekend because the dr. didn't fax them a med list. When my brother is there, mom behaves better and when an aide is there she is better. My brother and I visited with her on Sunday. I have not seen her since because I want her to make the necessary adjustments, but I have been over there everyday this week tieing up loose ends. I will see her Friday, have lunch with her and just spend time with her. I never expected to feel so depressed. I have a hard time going to her house with all the memories growing up there. My brother and sis think it is best if we sell her house instead of renting it which makes me feel that we are betraying mom since she is still living. Sis has been a landlord before and does not want to that again so I understand. I have been a mess all week emotionally and I told them at the community that I am struggling with this, they said I can call them to talk or try to come to their support group meetings. I called to see if I can get the FMLA but haven't heard anything from them yet. Maybe by the time that is approved, I can handle going in mom's house. Overall they tell me mom is doing good considering the short amount of time she has been there. My brother who is in management told me it would be better if I use the FMLA than go out on disability. So much to do, so many emotions and memories.
Could use a good peg leg silver toothed pirate!
lovbob
Austin! Good to hear from you as well. Glad you have a friend to do things with. Makes all the difference doesn't it?
Shirley! How's the foot coming along?
Deef! How are you feeling?
Cuz! It sure was good to hear your voice the other day and I am so glad that Mike is doing better. It was great to see him and your mom when they came through.
Your MIL sounds like a wise person and I hope her time is filled with friends, family and some laughs where everyone can find them.
Spoke to Ted again yesterday and he has recieved a scholarship to a college he has wanted to attend for a long time! This is great news and he is an example of coming out of being a solo caregiver and taking his mom all the way to the end, going through PTSD and finally seeing the sunlight on the other side.
Congratulations Ted!
Jen! I still say frisbee all of those records that FP plays and tell him I dunno what happened. Stay as strong as you can. Oy.
Welcome to the new guys and yup, you're not alone. Keep venting, whether it's here or some other thread on this site, but keep venting. It will save your life.
Shout outs to everyone who reads and posts here. You all are part of a large community of caregivers past and present whose voices are important.
Keep writing.
Love you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
MIL is still hanging on. They get her up in the morning for breakfast and clean her up,dress her then she is right back in bed praying to herself. Her mind is still sharp as a tack but the old body is giving up.
My brother is in theripy right now for a week and then possibly going home either to his trailer or to my ma's. He is doing just great. Feels alot better but doesn't like being tied to just sitting in a room watching tv all day. I told him it could have been worse. He could have taken a one way ride in a coffin car. He said I no I waited to long. So thanks for the support. And would you believe that I haven't been on line for 2 1/2 days and no jokes. Sorry maybe there will be something tommorrow night.
lovCuz
hope you are doing better D and bobbie, know what brain dead feels like....
and we just go on till we drop....
on crutches was the time where I one handed everything, till mom decided to take early retirement and look after her old man for no pay full time....
Hope all is as well as it can be for everyone.
Cuz just called and wanted me to tell you guys that his internet is down until late Wednesday. His brother is getting better and his mil is resting at her home and getting visitors.
Cuz and I got to visit for almost an hour on the phone. Pretty cool.
Got to talk with Ted again today and he is getting better bit by bit.
Shirley! I know how it feels to be unable to get around. Tore my right ankle up and then just a few weeks later my left knee. Ow Ow and there you have it.
And you're right. Still not as tied down with not being able to walk as one is with caregiving.
Flex! Hope the headache eases up.
Deef! Maybe you should have a Big Mac and a good nap? OK, just kidding. Not.
lildeb! Jen! susan! Cat! Linda! Everyone!
Wish I could shout out to everyone but I am brain dead.
There's drama here and can't go into it but suffice it to say that it takes the soup right out of me. I guess it all will shake out one way or the other. *sigh*
I have been in LurkMode and doing the best I can. Love all you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
I'm feeling sorry for myself, because I can't do much with this broken foot. Yet, I'm not nearly as tied down as when I was care giving. Hmmm.
Jen, how did you do it with a broken ankle?
Hope everyone had a quiet weekend. Love Shirley
Take care everyone and I'll check in soon again.
Cuz, so sorry about your mil. Sending prayers to you n your family.
Mame, Let us know how u like your new glasses?. I have to go get my eyes checked in May n its been 4yrs since my last eye visit.
As for my mil, she don't remember a lot of what they did at the Adult center either but u can tell she had a good time or at least she makes it sound that way. However, getting their is a whole new story. I will tell her the night before n the last hr before we have to leave. Of course, I make sure she has already ate n ready as well. That way I can get the necessary things myself for my appt n such. I hope u like your new glasses n that u can see a whole lot better.
Jen, Susan & Linda, sending you gals big cyber hugs. Let it all out n vent......At least Susan had a good tip with the towels to block off the smell while airing the room out. If it will make y'all feel better, mil thinks she has to go pee every ten minuets n she also thinks she has to run her hand in water. That means, waking up this morning n the bathroom sink water ran all freaking night some time after I went to bed! We r going to have a hellish water bill! Usually, I will know n turn it off but I slept right through it last night. As when the mil rooms starts to smell a bit funky, I start to look for used toilet paper hiding n drawers, behind book shelves, behind books, in shoes, pockets u name it. I guess u can say anywhere in her room except, the freaking toilet bowl! She thinks the toilet paper will clog it up n she don't use much. I may try a trash can again n that way maybe I won't have to search for it n just dump the crap in toilet.
Linda, call my butt old too for it is kind of cold today after all that nasty rain. 100% today. I guess we needed it. Hopefully, it washes all the pollen away.
Hi Cat. I had to come all the way back home after my first appt with the butt dr for I forgot the time for the second appt with the diabetic dr. Everything fine but my A1 level did go up n the dr told me to bump up a unit when I start to stress when I grab something to eat. For some reason I will grab food for comfort when stressing n it is not the healthy stuff either. Stress level is getting much better since I have the mil going all day, one day a wk to one of the Adult center.
Well, it raining, the power knocked off for a few seconds n the temp has dropped. Hopefully hubby n his bud will not have too much nasty weather on their way back from Atlanta from a technology conference.
It is a gloomy day but I at least have a spoiled cat curled up on the side of our chair. I did say r n not mine for Vera thinks it is her chair. ; ) I hope I gave some of y'all at least a smile or a few chuckles today. Sending hugs.
Susan~I would make an appt. for a medication review with fil's dr. and go from there.
Deef~How you are feeling better. It is hard to deal with day time responsibilities when you have little sleep day after day. I do the same thing, I push myself and eventually it all catches up with me and I'll sleep one night for 12 hours and start all over again.
Mom's dr/my dr. talked with mom for quite some time yesterday telling her she can't live alone for safety reasons due to memory impairment. He told her it is not her fault and no one is blaming her. He gave her examples of her short term memory impairment by asking if she remembers calling his office. She said, yes, I called yesterday. He said what about the day before that. She said no I didn't call. He told her yes you did, you called 7 times 20 minutes apart. We didn't answer the phone because I had jury duty that day.I took mom's meds to the community today and gave mom the meds for today. I'll be going back to her house in a while to check on her and get her dinner. Have a good weekend everyone!!
question: i think we need to tell him that his periods of confusion, anger and forgetfulness are getting worse, and can we go to the doctor about it. my husband says no, we just work around it until we can get him to the doctor for a different unrelated reason. what do you suggest?
Now my brother was doing great but today he hit the wall hard. I think all of the medication he was on kind of wore off and he said he not only hurts but feel like shit now too. He is extremely tired. I told him to ask for something to knock him out for the night and he might feel better in the am. Who knows. They won't let him go home if he can't handle things by himself yet.
hugs to all for the support.
lovCuz
Sharynmarie, Sorry your mom is not cooperating, but keep at it. Sometimes persistence pays off. She may get tired of arguing with everyone on the subject. If you can get her there a few times, and actually "sneak" out on her, that may help too.
Cuz, so sorry to hear about your MIL. Nothing you can do when they make up their mind that they are ready to go. Hope your brother is doing better!
Diane, How are you holding up?
Austin, good to hear from you. Still crocheting?
Susan26 and Jen, thanks for making me chuckle with your "airing out" stories! Been there, done that! Got to love disinfectant sprays!
Connzie! Lots of funny stories here, and lots of not so funny ones, but rest assured, you are definitely not alone out there!
LilDeb, how are you doing these days? Hope you are getting some help with your MIL.
Cat, My daughter and I actually managed to get some pansies and English daisies in the ground this afternoon! had to get some color out there. Going to rain for a couple days, so I figured it was a good time to get the plants in the ground. The red raspberries are getting leaves and new shoots and the concord grape vines are budding. We are hoping to expand our veggie gardens this year too.
Book, Msdaisy, Stormy, Mishka, how are you all doing?
Linda!!!!! Sorry it is still so cold there! We had a couple warm days here, but going to be cold and rainy through the weekend here.
Mame, You found 2 dresses? That's great!!! I hope they can help you decide on the perfect one! As for daycare, Mom has been going for 4 years and even with 4 days a week, she will still ask me "What's this place?" when we pull up in the morning! It's good to laugh at our situations. The alternative is just too depressing.
I'm going to try to get some sleep again tonight, lord knows I need it! Hope you all have a good night and an even better day tomorrow!
If I missed anyone, sorry! My brain is kind of sluggish these days!
I thought I had not taken my med on Sunday night, but I did. Just one of those unexplainable things. I have a "Fitbit" tracker that I wear 24/7 and it records activity, calories burned, steps taken and flights of stairs climbed, daily. It also records my sleep patterns and Sunday night it recorded no sleep at all! I may have dozed off a few times, but was active the entire time I was in bed! Most nights I log about 5-6 hours of sleep with 12 to 28 "wake-ups" during the time I am in bed. This has been my life for over 20 years and the main reason I have so much body pain and fatigue. No REM sleep to speak of. I have learned to push myself over the years and manage to make it through most days without missing a beat. This is when my autoimmune disease goes into a form of remission. Right now I'm having a bout that is keeping me awake and making me hurt from head to toe. The chronic fatigue is hard to deal with and I feel the need to go to bed often, but fight it as much as I can. It's not easy getting Mom off to daycare 4 days a week and having to lift her in and out of the car twice a day. She has been pretty uncooperative in the afternoons, so I put her to bed and get her back up for supper. It's increasing hard to get her to bed on my own. She is very much out of it by night time and just wants to grab at everything in her reach, or not! Hard to wash and dress her when you have to hold her down with one hand and do everything else with the other. She has a neurologist appointment next week, and I don't know how I will get her there by myself. Last time she shifted the car into second gear as I was doing 70 down the pike!
I've managed to keep up my exercising and better eating habits, but it's not been easy. My husband and I did WW online 3 years ago and did very well. I lost 16lbs and he lost 30. Unfortunately I got sick for the better part of the winter that year and my husband lost his job, so we both put the weight and then some, back on.
I am now doing the "Lose It" app online. It's free and you put in your height, weight, and age, then the weight you want to be and how many lbs. you want to lose per week. Then it tells you how many calories you need to eat/day to reach your goal, and how long it will take. You log in your food every day and your activities such as walking, yardwork, housework, etc and it tells you how many calories you have burned for each activity. My Fitbit links right to Lose It and automatically deducts calories burned throughout the day. I could do much better if I could get some good sleep!
CUZ - sending cyber hugs to you .. i would be too tired to fight anymore , my mom always says she couldnt wait to get on the other side . no worries just all smiles and feeling great . mmm sounds good .
love you all !!! xoxo