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Cat~Thank you, I hope it goes quickly and smoothly too...knowing mom is safe is a priority now.
Deef~Thank you, like I said it doesn't really bother me much that mom thinks that way about me because I know I am responsible.
It's 3am and I can't sleep. My lower back has been hurting since putting mom's blinds up last week. It is worse when I lay down...I took half a vicodin, hope it kicks in soon.
Here lurking. Just don't know what to say to Book, Austin, and Diane. All I can do is keep you in my prayers. Cat so glad you enjoyed your vacation. I tried snorkling 5 years ago, in Florida. It was great fun. I wasn't very good at it either. Sorry, too tired to write more. Better get to bed. Love you guys.
Lildeb, I hope that Remeron they gave your Mil is helping you get some rest! It's still pretty cold here, so the snow is not melting too fast. We took a walk again today and it was only in the high 30's, but the wind wasn't as bad as it has been. Mishka, Hope things are returning to normal at your house. Are your husband and daughter feeling better yet. Hope you don't get sick too! Kuli, sounds like Sophie has a few more lives left! Sharyn, sorry your mom thinks of you that way. There are 7 of us and when my dad died 31 years ago, he was 54, I remember us all arguing after the funeral over which of us was his favorite! Both my parents had the talent to make all of us feel like we were their favorites. That is something that doesn't happen very often in life. By the way, I was always the responsible one, the "middle" child so to speak. I am second oldest, but also second daughter. Then the first boy was born and then came 4 more after us. There is 18 years difference between my oldest sister and my youngest brother. She was in college when he was born and left home at 19 to marry her bf who was in the Air Force. My dad had a heart attack and open heart surgery when my brother was only 5 years old. It was just before my first wedding anniversary, and I have been pretty much the one called on for all things family my entire adult life. I can't wait for my "boat" to show up!!! Diane, Hang in there girl and just keep doing what you are doing, keeping mom comfortable. You and James will have good things coming your way for sure! Stormy, I feel for you! I have had problems like yours since I was 11 and still do even at 61!! I have suffered miscarriages, fibroids, had numerous D&C's, biopsies, and took iron for 15 years due to long and heavy cycles. Now I am trying to decide if I want to go through a hysterectomy, which is almost comical, because who will care for Mom? You would think at my age that I would be past all this, but I'm not! I know how frustrating it can be, but give it a few days and your attitude will get better. Looks like getting your thyroid meds straight is going to be a process. Talk to the doctor and tell him how you are feeling and see what he can do for you. Keep checking in with us so we know how you are doing and so we can give you encouragement. We are all here for you!!! Bobbie, I used to have problems when I went to lumber yards to by wood for my classes. I even had men ignore me at the counter and take the next "man" in line behind me. That really pissed me off! That's when I would step up, all 5'1" of me, and say "excuse me, don't you like the color of my $$?" Then I would rattle off what I needed in contractor language and make them look assholes!!! Same thing at the hardware store when I was looking for "set" screws or parts to fix my saws and sanders. Cat, sounds like you had a great time! Snorkeling would freak me out too! Can't wait to see pictures. I take Requip for my legs and my heart medication also helps.I can't sleep without the requip! Problem is I can only take it before bed as it still makes me nauseous and dizzy after all these years. I'm up to 4 mgs a night. When I flew out to Seattle 2 years ago, my biggest fear was being on the plane for a long period of time, so I got flights that split the trip into 2 sections going out and back and made sure I was on morning flights. I also wore a motion sickness patch the entire time and I think that may have helped keep me calm. I took knitting with me and was working on a complicated pattern that I had to concentrate on, I really believe that's what saved my sanity! I even have problems riding in a car late in the day! When I was still working, the half hour ride home was brutal some days, as my legs would twitch all the way home. RLS is my worst nightmare for sure! Well, Mom is losing weight and is down to 97lbs now. I tried to weigh her at home, but couldn't get her to stand by herself on the scale. Daycare weighs everyone there once a week and the nurse looked up her last weight for me. She has lost about10 lbs in the past year, so nothing alarming, but she is very skeletal looking now. She eats a lot, but her body just isn't absorbing the nutrients anymore. And then there is the nonstop motion eating up all her calories! She was okay this morning, but quite the handful tonight! All hands and legs moving and feet sliding and grabbing my hands and the wash cloth and the towel and the diaper and.....I think my blood pressure was through the roof by the time I got her in bed! Two days at home did us both in! Hope she gets up and off to daycare easy, tomorrow! Mame, How are you feeling? Out of the dumps yet? Jen, how did shopping day go this week? Bet the hair is starting to look great! Mine is way too long, but I have to wait until after my husband's SS comes next week. Then I can call my niece for a haircut! BJ, where are you? everything OKay? Austin, Msdaizy, Linda,Yogi, Book, Shirley how are you all doing? Okay, who did I forget? Kitties looking for food and I have dishes to do! Night everyone!
Cat it sounds like you and hubby had a wonderful time in Maui. I am so happy you had time to relax and reconect with your hubby. I think that will be what I am looking forward to, having time to reconnect with James. Wish I had Maui on the horizon, but I'll take whatever comes. Mom has been nibbling today but sleeping quite a bit. She was getting very scared and anxious so I gave her another ativan because the pharmacy is screwing around with getting the morphine. Not much else going on right now. Just taking it minute by minute.
I hope everyone gets to feeling better and can have a peaceful night. Love and hugs to you all.
Oh, I forgot to tell Cuz hello and thanks for the jokes.
MsDaisy: Always happy to read your posts. I'm glad to know that you are doing good and, though you are missing your mom, your heart and mind are in a good place. Your comments always convey that good place to others and I appreciate you sharing that warmth and comfort with others, including me.
GranmainTexas: Thanks for pointing out which one was you on your profile pic. There are lots of good people on the AC site and on the GO thread. Hope you stick around and find some support here.
Here's a little something about our week in Maui. So the next day (after we arrived) we decide to go snorkeling. We've never done this before, but our little studio condo is right on the beach and the facility rents fins, snorkel masks and all assortment of water stuff. Let me just say that this first venture into snorkel land was not successful. Getting those fins on was not easy and there is no graceful way to get into the water with them on. Getting the mask on was another fiasco because it felt so claustrophobic to me and I just couldn't get my breath. I felt like I was trying to do to many things at one time and I was getting exhausted and breathing through my nose (not good) instead of through my mouth.
So we went to shore and dumped the mask and fins with a couple who were sitting on the beach and were kind enough to watch them for us. (Things get stolen if you leave them unattended.) Back we go into the water just to swim and float around. That was successful!!!!!!.....until we tried to get out again. By this time the wind had picked up and so had the waves. We'd been in the water for a while now and I think my legs were tired. I got knocked down by a wave and was being drug out with the undertow. I was laughing while Hubby was trying to get me standing up when another big wave came in and sent me flying into him. Then we were both down. I hope we don't end up on one of those funniest video things.
The next day we went out again. This time we just rented a floaty belt. Good Times!!!!!!!! We floated with ease and swam all around. We stayed on Kaanapali Beach and there is a place called Black Rock that has coral and tons of brightly colored fish...also sea turtles. The water and waves are much calmer there as the cliffs and rock jet out and protect the immediate area. So we floated and swam down to black rock and when we were ready to get out of the water, we made a graceful exit.
So, now I felt a little more confident and the next day we went back and used the floatie belt and the snorkel mask. Hubby was fine right away, but I was still feeling a bit panicked with the mask on. Nevertheless, I got the hang of it and I can't begin to tell you how happy that made me. It is so awesome to learn something new and overcome a fear. We had a blast and my husband was so happy for me. It's so awesome to see those fish and we saw a big sea turtle too. I just loved it.
I never graduated to combining the fins too, but I am going to get some fins and a snorkel mask and practice at the local pool. Hubby too. Maybe we can go back next year and do it again.
By the way, we had many a walk on the beach and we were not the only ones to take a beating on that beach. One man, about our age, got his swim suit pulled off. It was still around his ankles, but it took way too many waves for him to get them pulled up again. His wife was so embarrassed, but these things happen. One other woman was telling me about a couple of years ago when she and her husband had been there and he was hanging on to a boogie board. The waves came in and slammed him into the sand. He broke two ribs. She said, "What is it about the beach that makes 60 year old men act like 12 year olds?" Well, I don't know the answer, but I do know that I enjoyed myself and felt like a 12 year old too.
Hubby and I laugh about the rogue wave that knocked us down and deposited a ton of sand in every nook and cranny on our body. That wave had to be at least 18 inches high. I'm still laughing.
Aloha: I'm back from Maui and we had a wonderful time. I only wish that I could send all of us there together. It was so relaxing and so beautiful. I'll write more about it later.
I have spent hours reading posts and catching up. I made one post yesterday to Book regarding the loss of her mom. Austin, sorry to hear about your dear friend. Keeping you both in my prayers.
Diane: Sending you love and white light. I hope the morphine will keep your mom pain free and that some Ativan can be added should she have any agitation. My prayer for you both is that you can be at peace with the remaining time ahead. I know my dad's medical issues were vastly different than what you and your mom have faced, but I was grateful that his final days were spent at peace and I could be by his side, holding his hand. I hope you and your mom can have that quiet time to share and rest in. You are a wonderful person and we all know how much you love your mom and what a great daughter you have been.
Kuli: Sending kittie hugs to Sophie. Glad you are holding on to sweet memories and managing with your dad's belongings. Just take it a day at a time. It's a daunting task, but it will get done.
Deef: I thought of you, Mame and others during our vacation. We'd see the US weather report and the pictures of snow in the eastern states. I wished I could send you all the warm sea breezes we were experiencing. I hate to think of you shoveling snow again. Take care of your arm and hands. Glad you got to your craft class and managed to get some projects done. Sounds like your mom is her usual 7 handfuls and you continue to take it all in stride. Wish you had a lot more help. Whenever you mention the restless legs thing, I always relate. I have a hard time with it too. If I'm tired it's much worse and that's probably true for you too, which would mean 24/7 in your case. Our flight home from Maui left at 9:30 pm and within 30 minutes of sitting I was miserable. I stood through most of the 5 1/2 hour flight. It's weird how it's ok when you are standing, but sitting is terrible. I'm going to check with my doc about medication should we travel by air again. Do you take anything that gives you any relief?
Mame: Glad your boys were home for a bit to brighten your days. Did the girlfriend manage ok with the dogs? Take Lildeb's advise and gargle with warm salt water. I hope you get to feeling better and can get out of the black hole. Hate to think of you being there. I don't think winter weather is very helpful in that regard.
Linda: I hope you get to feeling better too. Sorry about your muscle issues. Geez, that has to hurt. I'm glad you had such a great relationship with your MIL, but there is no way you need to feel guilty about not taking on her care. You've done that and physically and emotionally it's not possible for you to do it again. Take care of you and your honey bunn instead and be invested in the years ahead that you get to spend together.
Sharynmarie: I'm relived to hear that you are staying on course with placing your mom. It will be better for you to be her daughter and not her full time caregiver. It wouldn't just effect you, it would effect your sister too and she has enough health issues to deal with already. Both you and your sister need to focus on your lives and your families and support your mom by being available to monitor her care and visit. I hope the placement and conservatorship go quickly and smoothly.
Lildeb: I always think of you and pray that you will get the help you need in caring for your MIL. You are finding you way in this journey, but I worry about your health with all the strain and stress that fills your days and nights. How are you feeling now? I hope you have recovered from the worst of the roid surgery. Blessings to you Lildeb. Remember that you always have options and preserving your health is what is most important.
Meanwhile: I've never had venison, but I understand it can be marinated and tenderized. Sounds like you did a good job cooking it and turning the rest into stew. Sounds like work is coming along on the Adobe house and you have a potential tenant lined up. I hope that gives you some extra income and helps cover some of the reno costs. Glad your mom is doing better and happy to hear you got to go riding. Yeah!!!! Hope your visit with Sam was comforting. He'll always be with you and would want you to spend your remaining years on this planet being happy. We all want that for you too. Many hugs.
Mishka: Glad to see you posting. I can appreciate the difficulty in having your mom visit and how disrupting that can be to your daughter's schedule. I'm glad you all got through it and can miss her presence. Sorry about the colds. Hope you all get better soon.
Jen: Glad you enjoyed your St. Pattie's day dinner. Sounds yummy. I usually do the corned beef & cabbage too, but not this year. I think I mentioned Sun Magazine to you a while back. It's a great magazine for writers. They have one section that has a topic....like "Paying Attention" was one and "Going Home" was another. They lay out the topics months in advance along with the deadlines for submissions for each topic. I always think of you when I read Sun. You could write some good stuff for submission. I have back copies of Sun and would be glad to send them to you. I'm on FB, so message me if you would like them. Hang in there Jen.
Bobbie: Glad to know you are healing. I know you like to keep your location private, but did you say you were expecting snow? I might have misread that, but I can't go back and check or I'll lose this post. What is it about men and their screw jokes. Anyway, give us an update on the boat and a clue as to your new whereabouts. Hugs to you, your four legged 1st mate and boat angel. Hope all is well with all of you.
Stormy: Sorry you are having so much difficulty. Hope you get some answers to the medical problems you are dealing with. Don't give up. Sending white light your way.
BJ: Thinking of you and sending blessings and hugs.
Stormy! I have no idea what to say about the medical issues but I do know that you are just nuts with the situation and you know that you're not going to kill yourself because you have your sweet family in your life!
Here we all know how hard and depressing it is because we have been there. There are so many of us on this thread alone that have had the darkest thoughts and the worst health of our lives during our caregiving time. Just know that this too will pass. It will and you will survive it.
I have been reading all of the posts and am sorry for the recent losses. All of these losses are so sad because they represent the end of a place in time. All of us have lost someone or something so we understand exactly what that is. There are so many things that are lost when we are placed in the position of 'loving someone to death'.
One on the long list of firsts to go is this: Something to Look Forward To.
That's why I got a boat. We all have to have something to look forward to or we will go nuts because there is no greater death than that of hope. When we lose hope we go nuts and get sicker and sicker because all we can think of is going nuts and it's all due to the complex stresses of the insane position of helping someone die.
Whatever we, as primary caregivers and caregiver families, are doing for or have done for a parent or spouse or child on their road to death has left a heavy mark on us that can be hard to erase. It seems that all things are leading to that moment and we are simply trying to breathe as we keep up with it all. The beacons of our childhood or our loves are dying and we are there and man oh man is it hard. People we care about deeply have morphed into a different form and we are there, whether living with them or arranging their professional care with all of its insane stresses.
That's why we have to have something to look forward to. What are we going to do after this sad, awful, heart wrenching thing that has just happened, happened a bit ago or is rumbling down the road at us, what are we going to do after that?
This is why here on the thread we used to say: Thinkoftheboat. Whatever your 'boat' is, think of it.
This boat was my way of doing the best I could to know that there was a life after caregiving. I know that everybody has their boat so they just have to remember to think of it. We'll change it to: thinkofyourboat.
Stormy! Think of your boat!
We have a fine group of support here. I love to read Deef! and Austin and Linda and lildeb haha dark boat, and Jen and Flex! and Kuli what's going going on with your kittie and hey there msdaizy and thank you and Book! how are you doing? and sharynmarie what's the news and CuZ! You have come up with some funny jokes! I dribbled my coffee and thanks for that and Yogi and BJ and hey Mishka! Boat Time! and mame and meantime! and what's going on Grama in Tay-Has, and now it's time for me to get up the dock and listen to the guys be goofballs while I try and order screws or hoses.
The other day I went up for some #8 Stainless Steel, Phillips screws and the big guy behind the counter at the ship's store told me I actually needed #10s. I had the hose bracket that I needed the screws for and dropped a #8 in one of the holes and said: See? This is perfect. It sits right in there perfectly and makes a smaller hole in the bulkhead. Parts dude drops a #10 in the other hole of the hose bracket, holds it in the air and wiggles it. The #8 screw goes back and forth and the #10 is stuffed in the hole and doesn't move. He says: See? All I'm thinking is that this bracket is just for a tiny chase with some wires in it and doesn't need to be put in with bridge bolts so why the big push for the bigger screw? Then I look the goofball in the eye. He's still wiggling the bracket with the screws in it and smiling like a jackass with a mouth full of briars.
Ah. A big screw joke. Now I get it. And that is why when I have to go and get some screws or hoses they get me every time. They have become experts of the long walk through some supposed fundamental information on working on a boat and then winding up at your basic pecker joke. I'd have to hand it to them if they weren't spending so much time handing it to themselves.
Love all you guys way more than you'll ever know. lovbob
Book and Austin - my sincere condolences on your losses. Book - I am glad your mom passed so peacefully. I always prayed my dad would go that way but he fought until the very end. Yes, I have been lurking. My kitty, Sophie, is doing well. She was weighed last Saturday and the vet tech told me she had lost 12 ounces since her last weight check. I had resigned myself to the fact that she was on her way out quickly but when I talked with the vet on Monday, found out her weight was only down 2 ounces and they consider 3-5 ounces to be an acceptable variation. So guess she'll be with me for a little longer. She's eating great - I actually thought she might have gained weight. The med that the vet gave me seems to be working so all is status quo with her. Still going through dad's stuff and sorting what is trash, what to keep, what to give away. It just gets so overwhelming. I spent 4 hours yesterday and felt like I had accomplished quite a bit then looked around and I had hardly made a dent. I have to say, though, that it's getting easier. I actually didn't cry at all yesterday. Had lots of good memories instead. Well, just thought I would check in and wanted to let Book and Austin know I'm thinking of them. Cheers to all ~ Kuli
Book- I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I know this is very difficult for you. I will keep you in my prayers! Hugs to you! Austin- I am sorry for the loss of your friend. The bushes sound like a nice touch. I'm sure your friend would've loved that. Hugs. Flex-I am sorry to hear of the decline of your mom. I am sure you are going through alot right now. I will keep you in my prayers as well as book, and austin. Hugs.
I am sorry everyone for being so absent on the thread. I have been going through some deep depression. I have been trying to find out what is wrong with me. It has something to do with my period. I get really depressed a week before. Along with alot of other pms symptoms but they are worse. I had my dr run some hormone tests but they all came back normal. I have all the symptoms of PMDD. There are no tests that can diagnosis this. I just feel so out of control during this time. I have had thoughts of suicide and that scares me. But I am so tired of being depressed and sick of the fatigue that comes with the hypothyroidism. If I am not dealing with one, I am dealing with the other one. I had quit taking my antidepressants when I found out I was hypo. I figured that was the cause of it and once the dr got my thyroid levels regulated I would be fine. She asked me if I was still taking them and I told her no. So yesterday I started taking them. Now comes the side effects of that. I HATE TAKING MEDS!!! I have to take it 4 hours after my thyroid meds. I hate trying to keep up with what I have and haven't taken. I feel like I need to see some one (a dr) about the pmdd. But I don't know if it is coming from hypo. I don't know if I need to see a endocrinologist or a ob-gyn. Well, I guess I need to go to dads. He is doing alright. Dr. said he might have chronic anemia. Who knows... I know from his medical report that he has a lung nodule that was 7mm in may of last year and it has grown to 1.1cm now. Probably some infection. That's what they always say anyway. And he had a adrenal gland that had hemorrhaged. That's all I know right now on him. I hope everyone is doing alright. I just don't have the mind to call out each of you. But you all are in my thoughts. Love to all and hugs to you too!Stormy
Lildeb, My mom used to take Remeron. Dr. said it would help her sleep and it was mild like a glass of wine. It worked well until she started having problems sleeping. Maybe it will help your Mil sleep better and longer so you can get some rest. My mom is losing weight also, probably due to her body just not absorbing nutrition anymore. She loves to eat things with lots of taste, just can't keep her mind on a meal or the food I am trying to put in her mouth! I had help today from noon to 7, so my husband and I went to a mall just to get out of the house. I got 2 books at Barnes and Noble and we roamed through some of the other stores. Then we stopped at a local food store that started out as an apple orchard years ago. Got a few things there, then headed home. At least the sun was shining at supper time. It wasn't as cold as it has been, so we went for a walk while I still had someone to watch Mom. She had a really good day and went to sleep right after she got put to bed. Hopefully she will be good in the morning and make it easy for me to get her ready and off to daycare. She is getting more grabby and distracted each day. It's really getting hard to get her up in the morning and to bed at night on my own. When she is agitated, it's almost impossible to deal with her alone. My Wednesday help is going back to work full time, so I may only have help on the weekends. It will be really hard, but will save me over $100/week. Where is everybody? Lurking? Guess we are all busy or in the hole or just here! I need to get to bed. All this exercise and fresh air today is getting to me. I hope you all had a good day and an even better one tomorrow! Jump in when you can and let us know how you all are doing.
Well MishkaM, all that pretty weather will go bye bye this wk for its going to be a little chilly again. Boo hoo, I hate cold weather n my Raynaud fingers too. Well, at least I got to enjoy a couple of days n their will be more soon. Those nasty little bug virus r just terrible how it goes from family member like one big circle. I hope both of them get to feeling better real soon.
Took the mil to Geriatric physician n it went okay. Of course, she is also a cosmetic dr as well so we will just keep her as a Geriatric physician n continue to keep mil's physician as the primary care dr. Anyway, seem mil has lost 3lbs according to their scales. She is going to have Hospice come out to the house n hopefully they will be able to help us. She also put the ml on something that suppose to help increase her appetite called, "Remeron." Of course, it has lots of side effects so giving it to the mil at night. I told mil if she felt not right if she had to get up n the middle of the night to holler for me. I think I will go put that charm alarm in her room so if she tries to get out of bed I will know n case she does need help to the bathroom. She is out like a light n sleeping real good right now. I just hope it will help increase her appetite. I am just so tired n drained n cannot fall alseep.
Austin~I am sorry for your loss of your friend. I know you have posted some about her. I am thinking about you. Flex~I am sorry to hear about your mother's decline. It is a long journey and the phase you are entering is (from my own experience) the hardest.Take care and many hugs to you.
Deef~We are waiting to get the statement of incapacity from the neurologist so we can give it to mom's attorney. He will then work for us to get a conservatorship. It was written this way so we have to go with flow on it plus here in California, a judge has the final say whether someone is incapacitated. Judges will usually go with what the dr. says. I am hoping it will all be done in a couple months.It is a lot of red tape to go through because of how her DPOA was written. I do hope the attorney will see the need to place mom for safety reasons and will agree to let us do that while the conservatorship is being set up. My sis is the primary on the DPOA and I am second. Because of our dysfunctional family, and me being the youngest of 4, mom has always labeled me irresponsible. I am ok with that now. Sis and I work together as a team which has it's drawbacks because of her health issues and living 45 minutes away. She is 5 years older, single, divorced twice, and a recovering alcoholic. Her adult life has not been easy because of the choices she made.. Sis was a "good girl" other than getting pregnant. I was the rebel who partied all through high school getting into trouble for drinking, cutting classes, etc. I got it out of my system by my senior year and straightened up but mom always saw me as irresponsible, unable to handle money, etc. LOL!! I will be married 36 years in April. It's funny how parents label their children without really knowing the child. Have a good night all and hugs to everyone!!
bookworm and austin sending you cyber hugs and am so so very soory for ur loss . last month a lady i know , her mother too died inher sleep . peaceful way to go . xoxo
flex _ once ur mom starts on the morhpine she will stop eating and drink very little , im sending u cyber hugs too and am with u in spirit .
Mishka!!!!! BOAT TIME!!!!!!!!! Glad your mom got bacl home okay. I'm sure it was confusing for your daughter to have a schedule change like that, but she sure did like having her grandma around! Sorry they have colds now. Something else for you to deal with! Gramaintexas, You are so right!!! Thanks for joining in. Mishka, Mame, I'm with you on the venison. My sister and brother both hunt and eat venison all the time. They tried passing it off on me as hamburger or steak, but I new right away it was something different! Mame, I got up to 4 inches of the white stuff. I was happy we didn't get as much as they predicted! We did a bit with the blower, but it was too wet and heavy, so we had to shovel. Then it snowed another couple inches this afternoon, so I went out and shoveled again. Plenty of fresh air and strenuous exercise today! Mom had a ringside seat in the window. No daycare today:( But she wasn't too bad. Just one hell of a time to get her to open her mouth for meds or food! She actually went to bed for an hour this afternoon too. LilDeb, we get sand that has salt mixed in it from the town highway department. They keep an area open to the public to fill their buckets. We have a town law that requires property owners to shovel and maintain their sidewalks within 24 hours after a storm has ended. If you don't shovel the town sidewalk in front of your property within 24 hours, you get a $100 fine. Wish I could wash my car, but it would freeze! Book, hang in there, Hope your sibs are helping you out! Austin, so sorry about your friend. Diane, sorry for your mom's decline, but her suffering and yours will be over soon and you will be able to hold your head up high, knowing you did your best for her! Msdaizy, hang out with us all you want! Many of our group have lost the loved one they cared for, but still join in when they feel the need. There is always someone on this site that can benefit from your knowledge. Even though your caregiving days are over, you still have that strong bound with all caregivers here and I can see way you continue to hang out here! Bobbie, hope you are hurting less! BJ, where are you? Kuli, Yogi, Shirley, hope you are all having a great week! Linda, tell your husband take it easy with that shoulder. Jen!!!! How's that play coming? Spring tomorrow, but it sure doesn't feel like it here. Although, the red wing blackbirds are back! Wasn,t today shopping day? Stormy, how are you and dad? Sharyn, any progress with placing mom? So sorry if I missed anyone!!!! I'm exhausted from shoveling and dealing with mom all day! Night everyone!!!!
*I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.!!
* Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
*A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know.?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up.!!"
*I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
*My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
*The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.
Dtflex, so sorry for you and your Mom's pain. Wish I could make it better.
Lildeb- mid 70's -how lovely!!!! Here in Ohio it has been kinda snowy. Not too bad today but soooooo ready for Spring! Unfortunately my daughter AND husband now have colds -and the kicker-I think they got it from my Dad when we returned Mom!!!! Thanks , Dad!!!!
Kinda missing my Mom. Which is weird because she was a big pain in the rear! My daughter said she misses her ringing her bell-now that -that I do NOT miss.
Again, Dtflex, my condolences for your painful time. If it doesn't offend I will keep you and your Mom in my prayers. And Bookworm , you and your Mom too and Austin and friend as well.
Deefer, I hope u don't get that much snow either because eventually, we get that cold nasty weather. We had two days in the mid 70's n loved it n cleaned my car out today n cranked up the music. The mil sat in a chair on the porch for a little while n I would check on her off/on in between. Hey, don't feel bad for I might need to exercise my mind as well. This forum has grown so much that it is hard to keep up with everyone. It sounds like u learned a new trick about parking your car n back so that u can use the blower. I can imagine that snow can turn into a real big mess when it melts n start sticking. Do y'all still use salt to help melt the snow? You know us southerns have no clue when it comes to snow n we all go crazy buying the stores out.; ) I hope u don't get too much white dust. Debbie, you know u r always welcome to this forum. Plus, we learned from others like you that, have already been through it all as a caregiver.
MishkaM, glad to hear your mom is back with dad n that your hubby is helpful too. I know it has to be hard for your daughter with the changes going on with her Nanna n it has to be hard for her to understand too. I hope your early morning is a little refreshing tomorrow. I am no morning person myself until at least I have drank down half of cup of coffee. Mame, that is why I am not planting anything until for sure there is no more cold weather. We got a few low's coming this wk too but not snow. We got hail yesterday due to the nasty gusty wind n rain. I hope u can get some rest n gargle with some warm salted water for your throat. Don;t over do it. Austin, ??? Those of you who know Book, please check in on her for I think she mention that she lost her mom today. Book, sending you my condolence.
Austin & Bookworm, I'm so sorry for your losses. Hugs to both of you.
Well sis left yesterday! Mom is sleeping more, bedridden and eating about 1 meal a day. She has no idea where she is and has extremely angry phases. Luckily she had one when the hospice nurse was here and she got to see first hand how angry and agitated she gets. The nurse got the doctor to prescribe morphine to help with her pain and the combative moods. I asked the nurse about how long she thought mom would hold on. She said she could last another month, but she thinks she will go sooner than that. I've been very weepy realizing the end is coming soon. We have talked with the funeral home in SC and the cemetery in Florida. I've already written her obituary. I know when the day comes I will become a basket case so I needed to do these things while I had a clear head. I find I my brain is already very scrambled and I so need to be clear headed and focused at work.
I hope all of you are able to have a good evening.
Book I'm sorry for your loss...I will be praying for you. Get rest now...Let us know how you are when you can. I big (((HUG))) from me to you. You have one extra Angel looking down on you now. Debbie
Book-my heartfelt sympathies to you. It has been such a long road. Hugs and hugs. And Austin I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. The butterfly bushes sound like a very nice memorial to her.
Midnight here n will be going to bed soon. My mom has passed away in her sleep this afternoon. I went straight from work to the hospital for the viewing and rosary.
I will try again the cpter is acting crazy today-some of you know about my friend who I was trying to help with her adiction-she died the night before last another of her friend's called me-her husband is not having any service for her-he did not even go to the funeral home to make arrangments-the other friend and I talked about it last night on the phone-we both tried so hard to help her over the years but the alcohol won out-it is so sad-I am so grieved-we three friends will plant some bushes to attract butterflies which she loved and have some kind of memorial for her. sometime.
MsDaizy-you are not stalking, you are just quietly keeping up with all of us! And don't feel guilty about feeling good-we are happy for you when you do! I am always happy when someone has a good day or something good happens. It gives me hope. Deef-we got a few inches and this morning there are delays at the schools. It is messy out there. Hope the snow is as light for you as they are showing it on national news. Easier for shoveling! Hope daycare is open!!! Mishka-your poor dtr having to share her time...but sweet that she missis nana now! So much work for you with the 2 of them. Hope you get a bit of rest now that mom is back with dad. Lildeb-we had two 60 degree days and it felt soooo good. But I know better than to get used to it. Anything can happen weather-wise in March and here we are with snow again! Meanwhile-I am not too sure about venison either...may be it just hasn't been cooked right or something. I am willing to try again. I have a nephew who hunts and my boys love it when he makes jerkey! Flex-are they gone yet? Hope you are doing ok. Possibly having a relapse of whatever I had...sore throat...achy etc... I over did yesterday but am happy for all I got done. Gonna try and sleep today when mom does. Hope everyone has a decent day. Mame
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Deef~Thank you, like I said it doesn't really bother me much that mom thinks that way about me because I know I am responsible.
It's 3am and I can't sleep. My lower back has been hurting since putting mom's blinds up last week. It is worse when I lay down...I took half a vicodin, hope it kicks in soon.
Cat so glad you enjoyed your vacation. I tried snorkling 5 years ago, in Florida. It was great fun. I wasn't very good at it either.
Sorry, too tired to write more. Better get to bed. Love you guys.
Mishka, Hope things are returning to normal at your house. Are your husband and daughter feeling better yet. Hope you don't get sick too!
Kuli, sounds like Sophie has a few more lives left!
Sharyn, sorry your mom thinks of you that way. There are 7 of us and when my dad died 31 years ago, he was 54, I remember us all arguing after the funeral over which of us was his favorite! Both my parents had the talent to make all of us feel like we were their favorites. That is something that doesn't happen very often in life. By the way, I was always the responsible one, the "middle" child so to speak. I am second oldest, but also second daughter. Then the first boy was born and then came 4 more after us. There is 18 years difference between my oldest sister and my youngest brother. She was in college when he was born and left home at 19 to marry her bf who was in the Air Force. My dad had a heart attack and open heart surgery when my brother was only 5 years old. It was just before my first wedding anniversary, and I have been pretty much the one called on for all things family my entire adult life. I can't wait for my "boat" to show up!!!
Diane, Hang in there girl and just keep doing what you are doing, keeping mom comfortable. You and James will have good things coming your way for sure!
Stormy, I feel for you! I have had problems like yours since I was 11 and still do even at 61!! I have suffered miscarriages, fibroids, had numerous D&C's, biopsies, and took iron for 15 years due to long and heavy cycles. Now I am trying to decide if I want to go through a hysterectomy, which is almost comical, because who will care for Mom? You would think at my age that I would be past all this, but I'm not! I know how frustrating it can be, but give it a few days and your attitude will get better. Looks like getting your thyroid meds straight is going to be a process. Talk to the doctor and tell him how you are feeling and see what he can do for you. Keep checking in with us so we know how you are doing and so we can give you encouragement. We are all here for you!!!
Bobbie, I used to have problems when I went to lumber yards to by wood for my classes. I even had men ignore me at the counter and take the next "man" in line behind me. That really pissed me off! That's when I would step up, all 5'1" of me, and say "excuse me, don't you like the color of my $$?" Then I would rattle off what I needed in contractor language and make them look assholes!!! Same thing at the hardware store when I was looking for "set" screws or parts to fix my saws and sanders.
Cat, sounds like you had a great time! Snorkeling would freak me out too! Can't wait to see pictures. I take Requip for my legs and my heart medication also helps.I can't sleep without the requip! Problem is I can only take it before bed as it still makes me nauseous and dizzy after all these years. I'm up to 4 mgs a night. When I flew out to Seattle 2 years ago, my biggest fear was being on the plane for a long period of time, so I got flights that split the trip into 2 sections going out and back and made sure I was on morning flights. I also wore a motion sickness patch the entire time and I think that may have helped keep me calm. I took knitting with me and was working on a complicated pattern that I had to concentrate on, I really believe that's what saved my sanity! I even have problems riding in a car late in the day! When I was still working, the half hour ride home was brutal some days, as my legs would twitch all the way home. RLS is my worst nightmare for sure!
Well, Mom is losing weight and is down to 97lbs now. I tried to weigh her at home, but couldn't get her to stand by herself on the scale. Daycare weighs everyone there once a week and the nurse looked up her last weight for me. She has lost about10 lbs in the past year, so nothing alarming, but she is very skeletal looking now. She eats a lot, but her body just isn't absorbing the nutrients anymore. And then there is the nonstop motion eating up all her calories! She was okay this morning, but quite the handful tonight! All hands and legs moving and feet sliding and grabbing my hands and the wash cloth and the towel and the diaper and.....I think my blood pressure was through the roof by the time I got her in bed! Two days at home did us both in! Hope she gets up and off to daycare easy, tomorrow!
Mame, How are you feeling? Out of the dumps yet?
Jen, how did shopping day go this week? Bet the hair is starting to look great! Mine is way too long, but I have to wait until after my husband's SS comes next week. Then I can call my niece for a haircut!
BJ, where are you? everything OKay?
Austin, Msdaizy, Linda,Yogi, Book, Shirley how are you all doing? Okay, who did I forget?
Kitties looking for food and I have dishes to do! Night everyone!
I hope everyone gets to feeling better and can have a peaceful night. Love and hugs to you all.
MsDaisy: Always happy to read your posts. I'm glad to know that you are doing good and, though you are missing your mom, your heart and mind are in a good place. Your comments always convey that good place to others and I appreciate you sharing that warmth and comfort with others, including me.
GranmainTexas: Thanks for pointing out which one was you on your profile pic. There are lots of good people on the AC site and on the GO thread. Hope you stick around and find some support here.
Here's a little something about our week in Maui. So the next day (after we arrived) we decide to go snorkeling. We've never done this before, but our little studio condo is right on the beach and the facility rents fins, snorkel masks and all assortment of water stuff. Let me just say that this first venture into snorkel land was not successful. Getting those fins on was not easy and there is no graceful way to get into the water with them on. Getting the mask on was another fiasco because it felt so claustrophobic to me and I just couldn't get my breath. I felt like I was trying to do to many things at one time and I was getting exhausted and breathing through my nose (not good) instead of through my mouth.
So we went to shore and dumped the mask and fins with a couple who were sitting on the beach and were kind enough to watch them for us. (Things get stolen if you leave them unattended.) Back we go into the water just to swim and float around. That was successful!!!!!!.....until we tried to get out again. By this time the wind had picked up and so had the waves. We'd been in the water for a while now and I think my legs were tired. I got knocked down by a wave and was being drug out with the undertow. I was laughing while Hubby was trying to get me standing up when another big wave came in and sent me flying into him. Then we were both down. I hope we don't end up on one of those funniest video things.
The next day we went out again. This time we just rented a floaty belt. Good Times!!!!!!!! We floated with ease and swam all around. We stayed on Kaanapali Beach and there is a place called Black Rock that has coral and tons of brightly colored fish...also sea turtles. The water and waves are much calmer there as the cliffs and rock jet out and protect the immediate area. So we floated and swam down to black rock and when we were ready to get out of the water, we made a graceful exit.
So, now I felt a little more confident and the next day we went back and used the floatie belt and the snorkel mask. Hubby was fine right away, but I was still feeling a bit panicked with the mask on. Nevertheless, I got the hang of it and I can't begin to tell you how happy that made me. It is so awesome to learn something new and overcome a fear. We had a blast and my husband was so happy for me. It's so awesome to see those fish and we saw a big sea turtle too. I just loved it.
I never graduated to combining the fins too, but I am going to get some fins and a snorkel mask and practice at the local pool. Hubby too. Maybe we can go back next year and do it again.
By the way, we had many a walk on the beach and we were not the only ones to take a beating on that beach. One man, about our age, got his swim suit pulled off. It was still around his ankles, but it took way too many waves for him to get them pulled up again. His wife was so embarrassed, but these things happen. One other woman was telling me about a couple of years ago when she and her husband had been there and he was hanging on to a boogie board. The waves came in and slammed him into the sand. He broke two ribs. She said, "What is it about the beach that makes 60 year old men act like 12 year olds?" Well, I don't know the answer, but I do know that I enjoyed myself and felt like a 12 year old too.
Hubby and I laugh about the rogue wave that knocked us down and deposited a ton of sand in every nook and cranny on our body. That wave had to be at least 18 inches high. I'm still laughing.
Hugs, Cat
I have spent hours reading posts and catching up. I made one post yesterday to Book regarding the loss of her mom. Austin, sorry to hear about your dear friend. Keeping you both in my prayers.
Diane: Sending you love and white light. I hope the morphine will keep your mom pain free and that some Ativan can be added should she have any agitation. My prayer for you both is that you can be at peace with the remaining time ahead. I know my dad's medical issues were vastly different than what you and your mom have faced, but I was grateful that his final days were spent at peace and I could be by his side, holding his hand. I hope you and your mom can have that quiet time to share and rest in. You are a wonderful person and we all know how much you love your mom and what a great daughter you have been.
Kuli: Sending kittie hugs to Sophie. Glad you are holding on to sweet memories and managing with your dad's belongings. Just take it a day at a time. It's a daunting task, but it will get done.
Deef: I thought of you, Mame and others during our vacation. We'd see the US weather report and the pictures of snow in the eastern states. I wished I could send you all the warm sea breezes we were experiencing. I hate to think of you shoveling snow again. Take care of your arm and hands. Glad you got to your craft class and managed to get some projects done. Sounds like your mom is her usual 7 handfuls and you continue to take it all in stride. Wish you had a lot more help. Whenever you mention the restless legs thing, I always relate. I have a hard time with it too. If I'm tired it's much worse and that's probably true for you too, which would mean 24/7 in your case. Our flight home from Maui left at 9:30 pm and within 30 minutes of sitting I was miserable. I stood through most of the 5 1/2 hour flight. It's weird how it's ok when you are standing, but sitting is terrible. I'm going to check with my doc about medication should we travel by air again. Do you take anything that gives you any relief?
Mame: Glad your boys were home for a bit to brighten your days. Did the girlfriend manage ok with the dogs? Take Lildeb's advise and gargle with warm salt water. I hope you get to feeling better and can get out of the black hole. Hate to think of you being there. I don't think winter weather is very helpful in that regard.
Linda: I hope you get to feeling better too. Sorry about your muscle issues. Geez, that has to hurt. I'm glad you had such a great relationship with your MIL, but there is no way you need to feel guilty about not taking on her care. You've done that and physically and emotionally it's not possible for you to do it again. Take care of you and your honey bunn instead and be invested in the years ahead that you get to spend together.
Sharynmarie: I'm relived to hear that you are staying on course with placing your mom. It will be better for you to be her daughter and not her full time caregiver. It wouldn't just effect you, it would effect your sister too and she has enough health issues to deal with already. Both you and your sister need to focus on your lives and your families and support your mom by being available to monitor her care and visit. I hope the placement and conservatorship go quickly and smoothly.
Lildeb: I always think of you and pray that you will get the help you need in caring for your MIL. You are finding you way in this journey, but I worry about your health with all the strain and stress that fills your days and nights. How are you feeling now? I hope you have recovered from the worst of the roid surgery. Blessings to you Lildeb. Remember that you always have options and preserving your health is what is most important.
Meanwhile: I've never had venison, but I understand it can be marinated and tenderized. Sounds like you did a good job cooking it and turning the rest into stew. Sounds like work is coming along on the Adobe house and you have a potential tenant lined up. I hope that gives you some extra income and helps cover some of the reno costs. Glad your mom is doing better and happy to hear you got to go riding. Yeah!!!! Hope your visit with Sam was comforting. He'll always be with you and would want you to spend your remaining years on this planet being happy. We all want that for you too. Many hugs.
Mishka: Glad to see you posting. I can appreciate the difficulty in having your mom visit and how disrupting that can be to your daughter's schedule. I'm glad you all got through it and can miss her presence. Sorry about the colds. Hope you all get better soon.
Jen: Glad you enjoyed your St. Pattie's day dinner. Sounds yummy. I usually do the corned beef & cabbage too, but not this year. I think I mentioned Sun Magazine to you a while back. It's a great magazine for writers. They have one section that has a topic....like "Paying Attention" was one and "Going Home" was another. They lay out the topics months in advance along with the deadlines for submissions for each topic. I always think of you when I read Sun. You could write some good stuff for submission. I have back copies of Sun and would be glad to send them to you. I'm on FB, so message me if you would like them. Hang in there Jen.
Bobbie: Glad to know you are healing. I know you like to keep your location private, but did you say you were expecting snow? I might have misread that, but I can't go back and check or I'll lose this post. What is it about men and their screw jokes. Anyway, give us an update on the boat and a clue as to your new whereabouts. Hugs to you, your four legged 1st mate and boat angel. Hope all is well with all of you.
Stormy: Sorry you are having so much difficulty. Hope you get some answers to the medical problems you are dealing with. Don't give up. Sending white light your way.
BJ: Thinking of you and sending blessings and hugs.
Sorry if I missed folks. Glad to be home.
Love, Cat
lovbob
Stormy! I have no idea what to say about the medical issues but I do know that you are just nuts with the situation and you know that you're not going to kill yourself because you have your sweet family in your life!
Here we all know how hard and depressing it is because we have been there. There are so many of us on this thread alone that have had the darkest thoughts and the worst health of our lives during our caregiving time.
Just know that this too will pass. It will and you will survive it.
I have been reading all of the posts and am sorry for the recent losses.
All of these losses are so sad because they represent the end of a place in time.
All of us have lost someone or something so we understand exactly what that is. There are so many things that are lost when we are placed in the position of 'loving someone to death'.
One on the long list of firsts to go is this:
Something to Look Forward To.
That's why I got a boat.
We all have to have something to look forward to or we will go nuts because there is no greater death than that of hope.
When we lose hope we go nuts and get sicker and sicker because all we can think of is going nuts and it's all due to the complex stresses of the insane position of helping someone die.
Whatever we, as primary caregivers and caregiver families, are doing for or have done for a parent or spouse or child on their road to death has left a heavy mark on us that can be hard to erase.
It seems that all things are leading to that moment and we are simply trying to breathe as we keep up with it all. The beacons of our childhood or our loves are dying and we are there and man oh man is it hard. People we care about deeply have morphed into a different form and we are there, whether living with them or arranging their professional care with all of its insane stresses.
That's why we have to have something to look forward to. What are we going to do after this sad, awful, heart wrenching thing that has just happened, happened a bit ago or is rumbling down the road at us, what are we going to do after that?
This is why here on the thread we used to say:
Thinkoftheboat.
Whatever your 'boat' is, think of it.
This boat was my way of doing the best I could to know that there was a life after caregiving. I know that everybody has their boat so they just have to remember to think of it.
We'll change it to: thinkofyourboat.
Stormy! Think of your boat!
We have a fine group of support here. I love to read Deef! and Austin and Linda and lildeb haha dark boat, and Jen and Flex! and Kuli what's going going on with your kittie and hey there msdaizy and thank you and Book! how are you doing? and sharynmarie what's the news and CuZ! You have come up with some funny jokes! I dribbled my coffee and thanks for that and Yogi and BJ and hey Mishka! Boat Time! and mame and meantime! and what's going on Grama in Tay-Has, and now it's time for me to get up the dock and listen to the guys be goofballs while I try and order screws or hoses.
The other day I went up for some #8 Stainless Steel, Phillips screws and the big guy behind the counter at the ship's store told me I actually needed #10s.
I had the hose bracket that I needed the screws for and dropped a #8 in one of the holes and said: See? This is perfect. It sits right in there perfectly and makes a smaller hole in the bulkhead.
Parts dude drops a #10 in the other hole of the hose bracket, holds it in the air and wiggles it. The #8 screw goes back and forth and the #10 is stuffed in the hole and doesn't move. He says: See?
All I'm thinking is that this bracket is just for a tiny chase with some wires in it and doesn't need to be put in with bridge bolts so why the big push for the bigger screw?
Then I look the goofball in the eye. He's still wiggling the bracket with the screws in it and smiling like a jackass with a mouth full of briars.
Ah. A big screw joke. Now I get it.
And that is why when I have to go and get some screws or hoses they get me every time. They have become experts of the long walk through some supposed fundamental information on working on a boat and then winding up at your basic pecker joke.
I'd have to hand it to them if they weren't spending so much time handing it to themselves.
Love all you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
Austin- I am sorry for the loss of your friend. The bushes sound like a nice touch. I'm sure your friend would've loved that. Hugs.
Flex-I am sorry to hear of the decline of your mom. I am sure you are going through alot right now. I will keep you in my prayers as well as book, and austin. Hugs.
I am sorry everyone for being so absent on the thread. I have been going through some deep depression. I have been trying to find out what is wrong with me. It has something to do with my period. I get really depressed a week before. Along with alot of other pms symptoms but they are worse. I had my dr run some hormone tests but they all came back normal. I have all the symptoms of PMDD. There are no tests that can diagnosis this. I just feel so out of control during this time. I have had thoughts of suicide and that scares me. But I am so tired of being depressed and sick of the fatigue that comes with the hypothyroidism. If I am not dealing with one, I am dealing with the other one. I had quit taking my antidepressants when I found out I was hypo. I figured that was the cause of it and once the dr got my thyroid levels regulated I would be fine. She asked me if I was still taking them and I told her no. So yesterday I started taking them. Now comes the side effects of that. I HATE TAKING MEDS!!! I have to take it 4 hours after my thyroid meds. I hate trying to keep up with what I have and haven't taken. I feel like I need to see some one (a dr) about the pmdd. But I don't know if it is coming from hypo. I don't know if I need to see a endocrinologist or a ob-gyn. Well, I guess I need to go to dads. He is doing alright. Dr. said he might have chronic anemia. Who knows... I know from his medical report that he has a lung nodule that was 7mm in may of last year and it has grown to 1.1cm now. Probably some infection. That's what they always say anyway. And he had a adrenal gland that had hemorrhaged. That's all I know right now on him. I hope everyone is doing alright. I just don't have the mind to call out each of you. But you all are in my thoughts. Love to all and hugs to you too!Stormy
I had help today from noon to 7, so my husband and I went to a mall just to get out of the house. I got 2 books at Barnes and Noble and we roamed through some of the other stores. Then we stopped at a local food store that started out as an apple orchard years ago. Got a few things there, then headed home. At least the sun was shining at supper time. It wasn't as cold as it has been, so we went for a walk while I still had someone to watch Mom.
She had a really good day and went to sleep right after she got put to bed. Hopefully she will be good in the morning and make it easy for me to get her ready and off to daycare. She is getting more grabby and distracted each day. It's really getting hard to get her up in the morning and to bed at night on my own. When she is agitated, it's almost impossible to deal with her alone. My Wednesday help is going back to work full time, so I may only have help on the weekends. It will be really hard, but will save me over $100/week.
Where is everybody? Lurking? Guess we are all busy or in the hole or just here!
I need to get to bed. All this exercise and fresh air today is getting to me. I hope you all had a good day and an even better one tomorrow!
Jump in when you can and let us know how you all are doing.
Those nasty little bug virus r just terrible how it goes from family member like one big circle. I hope both of them get to feeling better real soon.
Took the mil to Geriatric physician n it went okay. Of course, she is also a cosmetic dr as well so we will just keep her as a Geriatric physician n continue to keep mil's physician as the primary care dr. Anyway, seem mil has lost 3lbs according to their scales. She is going to have Hospice come out to the house n hopefully they will be able to help us. She also put the ml on something that suppose to help increase her appetite called, "Remeron." Of course, it has lots of side effects so giving it to the mil at night. I told mil if she felt not right if she had to get up n the middle of the night to holler for me. I think I will go put that charm alarm in her room so if she tries to get out of bed I will know n case she does need help to the bathroom. She is out like a light n sleeping real good right now. I just hope it will help increase her appetite. I am just so tired n drained n cannot fall alseep.
Flex~I am sorry to hear about your mother's decline. It is a long journey and the phase you are entering is (from my own experience) the hardest.Take care and many hugs to you.
Deef~We are waiting to get the statement of incapacity from the neurologist so we can give it to mom's attorney. He will then work for us to get a conservatorship. It was written this way so we have to go with flow on it plus here in California, a judge has the final say whether someone is incapacitated. Judges will usually go with what the dr. says. I am hoping it will all be done in a couple months.It is a lot of red tape to go through because of how her DPOA was written. I do hope the attorney will see the need to place mom for safety reasons and will agree to let us do that while the conservatorship is being set up. My sis is the primary on the DPOA and I am second. Because of our dysfunctional family, and me being the youngest of 4, mom has always labeled me irresponsible. I am ok with that now. Sis and I work together as a team which has it's drawbacks because of her health issues and living 45 minutes away. She is 5 years older, single, divorced twice, and a recovering alcoholic. Her adult life has not been easy because of the choices she made.. Sis was a "good girl" other than getting pregnant. I was the rebel who partied all through high school getting into trouble for drinking, cutting classes, etc. I got it out of my system by my senior year and straightened up but mom always saw me as irresponsible, unable to handle money, etc. LOL!! I will be married 36 years in April. It's funny how parents label their children without really knowing the child. Have a good night all and hugs to everyone!!
flex _ once ur mom starts on the morhpine she will stop eating and drink very little , im sending u cyber hugs too and am with u in spirit .
im sad . love you all xoxo
Glad your mom got bacl home okay. I'm sure it was confusing for your daughter to have a schedule change like that, but she sure did like having her grandma around! Sorry they have colds now. Something else for you to deal with!
Gramaintexas, You are so right!!! Thanks for joining in.
Mishka, Mame, I'm with you on the venison. My sister and brother both hunt and eat venison all the time. They tried passing it off on me as hamburger or steak, but I new right away it was something different!
Mame, I got up to 4 inches of the white stuff. I was happy we didn't get as much as they predicted! We did a bit with the blower, but it was too wet and heavy, so we had to shovel. Then it snowed another couple inches this afternoon, so I went out and shoveled again. Plenty of fresh air and strenuous exercise today! Mom had a ringside seat in the window. No daycare today:( But she wasn't too bad. Just one hell of a time to get her to open her mouth for meds or food! She actually went to bed for an hour this afternoon too.
LilDeb, we get sand that has salt mixed in it from the town highway department. They keep an area open to the public to fill their buckets. We have a town law that requires property owners to shovel and maintain their sidewalks within 24 hours after a storm has ended. If you don't shovel the town sidewalk in front of your property within 24 hours, you get a $100 fine. Wish I could wash my car, but it would freeze!
Book, hang in there, Hope your sibs are helping you out!
Austin, so sorry about your friend.
Diane, sorry for your mom's decline, but her suffering and yours will be over soon and you will be able to hold your head up high, knowing you did your best for her!
Msdaizy, hang out with us all you want! Many of our group have lost the loved one they cared for, but still join in when they feel the need. There is always someone on this site that can benefit from your knowledge. Even though your caregiving days are over, you still have that strong bound with all caregivers here and I can see way you continue to hang out here!
Bobbie, hope you are hurting less!
BJ, where are you?
Kuli, Yogi, Shirley, hope you are all having a great week!
Linda, tell your husband take it easy with that shoulder.
Jen!!!! How's that play coming? Spring tomorrow, but it sure doesn't feel like it here. Although, the red wing blackbirds are back! Wasn,t today shopping day?
Stormy, how are you and dad?
Sharyn, any progress with placing mom?
So sorry if I missed anyone!!!! I'm exhausted from shoveling and dealing with mom all day! Night everyone!!!!
*I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion,
I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and
we're stoning her in the morning.!!
* Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my
wife is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
*A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know.?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up.!!"
*I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
*My wife has been missing a week now.
The police said to prepare for the worst.
So, I had to go down to Goodwill to
get all of her clothes back.
*The Red Cross just knocked on my door
and asked if we could contribute towards
the floods in Pakistan. I said we'd love to,
but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.
in our prayers.
luvCuz
Lildeb- mid 70's -how lovely!!!! Here in Ohio it has been kinda snowy. Not too bad today but soooooo ready for Spring!
Unfortunately my daughter AND husband now have colds -and the kicker-I think they got it from my Dad when we returned Mom!!!! Thanks , Dad!!!!
Kinda missing my Mom. Which is weird because she was a big pain in the rear! My daughter said she misses her ringing her bell-now that -that I do NOT miss.
Again, Dtflex, my condolences for your painful time. If it doesn't offend I will keep you and your Mom in my prayers. And Bookworm , you and your Mom too and Austin and friend as well.
Debbie, you know u r always welcome to this forum. Plus, we learned from others like you that, have already been through it all as a caregiver.
MishkaM, glad to hear your mom is back with dad n that your hubby is helpful too. I know it has to be hard for your daughter with the changes going on with her Nanna n it has to be hard for her to understand too. I hope your early morning is a little refreshing tomorrow. I am no morning person myself until at least I have drank down half of cup of coffee.
Mame, that is why I am not planting anything until for sure there is no more cold weather. We got a few low's coming this wk too but not snow. We got hail yesterday due to the nasty gusty wind n rain. I hope u can get some rest n gargle with some warm salted water for your throat. Don;t over do it.
Austin, ???
Those of you who know Book, please check in on her for I think she mention that she lost her mom today. Book, sending you my condolence.
Well sis left yesterday! Mom is sleeping more, bedridden and eating about 1 meal a day. She has no idea where she is and has extremely angry phases. Luckily she had one when the hospice nurse was here and she got to see first hand how angry and agitated she gets. The nurse got the doctor to prescribe morphine to help with her pain and the combative moods. I asked the nurse about how long she thought mom would hold on. She said she could last another month, but she thinks she will go sooner than that. I've been very weepy realizing the end is coming soon. We have talked with the funeral home in SC and the cemetery in Florida. I've already written her obituary. I know when the day comes I will become a basket case so I needed to do these things while I had a clear head. I find I my brain is already very scrambled and I so need to be clear headed and focused at work.
I hope all of you are able to have a good evening.
Austin sorry for your friend and glad there will be a butterfly bush one day for her.
You all are angels on earth.
lovbob
And Austin I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. The butterfly bushes sound like a very nice memorial to her.
Deef-we got a few inches and this morning there are delays at the schools. It is messy out there. Hope the snow is as light for you as they are showing it on national news. Easier for shoveling! Hope daycare is open!!!
Mishka-your poor dtr having to share her time...but sweet that she missis nana now! So much work for you with the 2 of them. Hope you get a bit of rest now that mom is back with dad.
Lildeb-we had two 60 degree days and it felt soooo good. But I know better than to get used to it. Anything can happen weather-wise in March and here we are with snow again!
Meanwhile-I am not too sure about venison either...may be it just hasn't been cooked right or something. I am willing to try again. I have a nephew who hunts and my boys love it when he makes jerkey!
Flex-are they gone yet? Hope you are doing ok.
Possibly having a relapse of whatever I had...sore throat...achy etc... I over did yesterday but am happy for all I got done. Gonna try and sleep today when mom does. Hope everyone has a decent day. Mame