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Bpryor, I'll be thinking good thoughts for you and hoping you find a great paying job! Glad you stopped by to give us an update on how you are doing!!! Thanks!!! Been a long tiring day here. My FIL is at the rehab as of late this afternoon. Supposed to only be there for 5 or 6 days. He was in good spirits and the EMT's were fighting over who would ride in the back with him. They were discussing how he lived through the Great Depression and how he thinks things are just as bad or worse now! Mom was tired after daycare and so was I from hauling her in and getting her into bed for a nap! I didn't get a lot of help from her getting in and out of the car today, so my shoulder is really sore tonight. I'm still not feeling 100% since Wednesday morning when I woke up feeling like crap. Must have picked up some virus at the ER earlier in the week. I'm sooo tired, so I will keep this short and catch up with everyone else this weekend. I'm falling asleep while typing here, so I'm off to feed the cats and then going to bed! night everyone!!
Hi everyone. Its been nearly 2 months since my Mom passed away. I'm finally out of the numb phase of grief (although I revisit it from time to time). Filling my time in reconnecting with my sisters. (One sister said to me "I finally have my baby sister back!") I don't know if I'll ever get over the loss, but I'm shuffling along. My main thing is survival right now. I need a job, and my old career just isn't interested... and my caregiving career just doesn't pay enough. So... Please say a prayer that I am blessed with a good new job! Hope you all are doing well, and your loved ones too! -B
Dtflex, thanks for the comments. You say it's better since you have a boyfriend ... oh my oh my, if I have a date, my mom goes nuts. I know it's because she thinks I might get involved and leave her. I don't dare invite a man here for dinner or even to pick me up for a dinner date, she pounces - criticizes, tells him weird things about me ... so I just gave up.
Hey! Deef-as Flex said-you sure have your hands full! Good God! I can't imagine all of the cast picking! Now we know that you must get all your energy from your mom! Everready bunny! Sharyn-great idea to have her go to daycare if they have it and get her comfortable with the place if she ends up there! I hope that works out for you! There are days I feel really guilty that I do not stimulate mom's brain more...but you are right-there is so much to do here at home for us it is difficult to keep mom entertained let alone challenged! Day care is so good for them! Some evenings I just wish a sibling would pop in to entertain mom so I can just veg! It is exhausting! Stormy-thanks, I hope we get to go somewhere too-wish we all could! And Jen-I may just do that-car running! you coming? no? Ba-bye! Hubby gets paid today so I get to go grocery shopping! I can't wait to get out of here! I may go have my hair done too... Caregiver has somewhere to be so I have to kinda hurry...but it will just be good to get out for a little while. Cupboards are bare! Well, almost. Snowing here this morning. Looks pretty but it is wet. Damp. Not fluffy etc. Prob won't stay long. BJ I am sure we all understand you do not want any more responsibilities! We had birds when we were kids. But like everything else-there is work involved! Flex-yup-freedom! Wouldn't it be nice.. Altho mom moved in going on 9 years now, she really started deteriorating about 5 yrs ago. I never dreamed she would live this long when we moved her out of her house. Ya never know! Well, the puppy just arrived. Gotta run the dogs before mom wakes up. Have a decent Friday all! Mame
No word yet from the neurologist on mom's MRI results. I am on pins and needles waiting for the appt. Sis and I have appt. Monday at 9am to discuss the LTC policy with the agent that sold it to her. I told sis we may need to hire a caregiver to help me out because my stress level is high right now because I have not had anytime to myself, for my husband or our home since October. She said she didn't realize I was so stressed even though I have told her more than once that I can't keep running back and forth between my house and mom's indefinitely. I would like to put mom in adult day care at the senior living facility we toured, it they offer it. I would be a perfect way to acclimate mom to their facility before moving her in. I must admit that if I moved mom in with me or if I moved in with mom 24/7, they can provide so much more for her in stimulating her brain with activities that I would not be able to do with all the responsibilities of daily caregiving such as paying bills, providing meals, housekeeping, appts., meds, yard word and all the other daily living activities involved. I am going to call them tomorrow to inquire if they offer adult day care. I can go with her to help her get acclimated a couple times a week and it would be great for her to have to the social aspect with her age group.. Keeping all my fingers and toes crossed. I hope everyone has a great weekend!!
Deef- I have a chihuahua/ yorkie mix puppy that wakes me up sometimes barking, needing to go outside. But she doesn't do this often, thank goodness. I hope that your shoulder and wrist will feel better tomorrow. I don't know how you do it all with trying to keep your mom's hands to herself. I would be foolish. Maybe put some gloves on her, like boxing gloves, then she can't pick at stuff. Oh well it was a thought.... Hehe.... Oh no news on dad yet. Just waiting....... Cat- Didn't I hear that it was your anniversary, well happy anniversary to you and the hubby!! Lil deb- I hope you are doing alright from your surgery. Get some rest. Prayers for you!! Bobbie- Hey there captain!! Mame- I am sorry you are down in the dumps, I know it sucks. But I do hope that you and the hubby get to go somewhere far, far away. Bj- Glad to see you here... Jen- I hope you are doing alright. Well, I know I forgot to mention names but I am sending all of you hugs. Love, Stormy
Mame, Mom picks at EVERYTHING!!! If she can see it feel it, it's gone!! When she broke her wrist last January, I made the ER doctor put on a hard cast. She picked pieces off the entire week we had to wait to see the orthopedic doctor. I used cloth tape on all edges. Cut up those hospital foot socks and taped those over to keep it clean. When the orthopedic doctor saw her, he wasn't happy about the hard cast because it was tight and confined her hand too much, so he trimmed it and by the time he was done, he realized I was right about the hard cast! By the time her six weeks of the cast was up, it was pretty tattered from all of her picking! She would pull on it and twist it to try to get it off and then she would say "ouch!" She even tries to pick the painted decorations off of plates! Enough said on that subject! Mame, glad your mood is better. I hope we all get to have a vacation this year. Stormy, any news on dad yet? Sharyn, how about mom's MRI results? LilDeb, Hope you aren't in too much pain.:( Hey there Shirley! Yogi!, Kuli!,Bobbie! Mishka! Jen, any hair yet? Arm is very sore after wrestling Mom all day! But I think it will work itself out eventually. Diane, Too bad you have to bring work home, but sounds like you need to get it done. Mom is quiet, just grabby as hell! Maxine, You all rested up yet? Cat, It would be cool for Bobbie to go through the Panama Canal with her boat! I'm sure I forgot someone, but my brains are fried! I actually sat down earlier and made a few pairs of earrings, just to relax for a bit. Oh yeh, My fil is heading to rehab tomorrow.:( Sil is convinced that aspirin gave him the ulcer and he doesn't need to change his diet! What an a$$. She just doesn't want to do the extra work for him! Can't convince her that not taking aspirin everyday is not going to fix the ulcer. He needs to change how and what he eats too. I sure hope he's not in rehab too long. Don't want him to get sick like he did last time. My husband told his sister that if she didn't listen to the doctors, that he was not going to help her out if he ends up in the hospital again! Can't fight someone who thinks they know everything. He told her to research it online and she just said she didn't have the time and it wasn't necessary! Some people! Okay, night everyone. Hope you all get a good rest tonight!
Deef-have you ever tried the tegaderm clear bandages? They can stay on for days. The visiting nurses used them on mom's legs one time-they are great and she totally forgot they were there! Mom had a shower tonight... "Why are we doing this at night?" Well mom, you had a headache or some other excuse all week so, in the shower you go! Thank God for Downton Abbey after! Well, for me and hubby...mom had to watch EWTN to see the Pope's last day... Gotta get her ready for bed now. Hair in curlers...she loves that! Still in a funk but looking forward to the weekend. G'night! Mame
Man Deef, you have your hands full with mom. I guess I should be greatful I only have temper tantrums to deal with nightly. I'm getting ready for my battle now. I may need to vent afterward too.
Lost that war!!! Geez, still trying to catch my breath and calm my heart down!!! I'm going to need help getting her to bed at night if she keeps this up!!! Wouldn't let me pull her pants down. Had a death grip on them. Then wouldn't sit down on the raised toilet seat, as she stood there throwing her head back and stiffening up like a board. The whole time she's trying to reach stuff on the hamper, the trash basket and anything else she sees!!! I'm trying to get her clothes off and she's trying to get off the toilet to reach the curtains over the window! She's grabbing my shirt, my arms, my ass!!! it's like she has 8 hands and they are everywhere!!! Dentures were easy to get out for a change, but she kept grabbing the washcloth and towel as I am trying to bathe her. Then she starts pulling on her boob as if it was a piece of clothing! it must have hurt, but in her wild frenzy, she never even flinched! We won't even discuss getting the diaper on. She has a broken blister on her shin from rubbing her legs in bed. The PD causes her to constantly cross her ankles, even in bed. Then she jives all over when she first gets in bed, so she rubbed the skin raw. this is a first, so I have been putting antibiotic ointment and a bandage over it at night. Well, I no sooner got that on, and she spotted it! The race was on to get her nightgown on and her into bed so I could tie the top sheet down with her arms on top so that she can't pick at the bandage or her diaper. Learned that trick after cleaning up one wet diaper mess allover the place! Now I will keep my fingers crossed that she will go right to sleep, but I'm not counting on it with how wound up she was. Sorry! I needed to get that out!!! Going to take a breather. I'll check in later!
with you mane pack and wait for him in the car? if he doesn't show drive off!
Hair was below shoulders when I craft-scissors attacked it. Cat Then finished with the nose hair trimmer..Mine. NOT fp!
Mom had el crappo day yesterday, from having him yell at her: "What did you put in that stuffing!" "Some Spice it making me gag!" Sure it is old man sure it is...The generic brand of box stuffing you have been choking down for two decades... whatever, that and my forgetting to wear my hat, she about had a coronary. today she is taking him out to do his taxes...so house to myself.
Gah deef how is the arm now? should you get it looked at?
Thanks Bobbie, no idea, it is all so foreign to me I feel like what the hell do I think I am doing I have never even SEEN a play!
BJ, had three different relatives give my grandfather cases of chili for his 90 th ...yes thank you, you come and clean it off the walls...
DNR is a very serious decision Diane, you know from quality of life issues, but it doesn't make it easy.
My aunt said she had never cleaned her trash or sent folders in email and had over 3,000 in her history..do not do this!
BJ and Mame, the lack of freedom was one of my greatest hurdles to get over when I started caregiving about 6 years ago. If it weren't for my boyfriend living with me now I would still feel the loneliness of being house bound. He is a great help and good company. The sibs are clueless about being chained to the house or your charge. Vent all you want on here since we all understand. Mom was re-evaluated today for recertification for Hospice. She has lost 25 pounds since Thanksgiving. The mental decline is what is causing the rapid physical decline now. The nurse had a long talk with me about how I would handle things if mom died at home. I think I will be okay since I was the only one home when my dad died. I already know all of mom's wishes for her burial. I have to make the decision to sign a DNR for mom but I'm trying to come to terms with that decision. I know logically it is the right thing to do, but I'm not sure I'm ready emotionally. It's just another step in the long good-bye. Cat, it sounds like you had a "lucky" choice in your mate, not only being married on St. Patty's Day. Deef, I sure hope you didn't do too much damage to your shoulder. I hope Lildeb is recovering from her surgery. I can relate to everyone's "alarm" cats. The youngest one is the loudest of our alarms. Remus, the 20lb Maine Coon likes to stick his face in ours and wakes us up. Bobbie, I'm about a 2 hour drive from Charleston, SC, 2.5 from Savannah, GA and 3 hours from Myrtle Beach, SC. Savannah and Charleston are both great historic cities. I got the news yesterday that my a/hole sister plans to visit on March 14th. Hospice is going to work with me to get mom into the nursing home while sis is here so I don't have to have any interaction with her. It was her visit last year that lead to my suicide attempt. Well let me get some work done. I had to bring some home since I ran out of time at the office. This huge group leaving next week is about to kill me already. I just pray everything runs smoothly and they have a great tour.
Have a good evening all and I'll check in soon again.
I have tried to figure out why I feel guilty. I rarely leave Mom anywhere. I have to be honest and say she and my sister don't get along. My sister says she would not put up with Mom's hoarding, her messiness in the kitchen, constantly cooking. They clash about everything so Mom doesn't want to spend time with her. Therefore I feel 'guilty' if I have to occasionally ask my sister for help. There is just the two of us - no one else to ask. Mom has a younger sister who just lost her husband but they are estranged (had some sort of argument about 15 years ago) so she doesn't even visit her own sister or talk to her. Mom is not a pleasant person to be around so even the grandkids don't want to be involved too much. I just had to talk to her because she said she wants to get a pair of canaries - says she loves birds! No way! I would be the one cleaning cages and taking care of them! I have enough to do so she's not getting any birds! haha!
You got that right BJ!!! Too bad our sibs don't feel the "guilt"!!!! Mame, you are about a 4 hour drive from here. It's a straight shot all the way on I90. We should find a place in the middle and meet there for a week of fun. I can pick up anyone that is on my way! The more the merrier!! Jen, trying to picture a "mom" explosion!!! think I've done that myself a few times! Off to pick up Mom from daycare!
I hear you! I wonder why we feel that 'guilt' when we ask others to stay with our Moms, just for a little while? I suppose it's because our obligation is so embedded.
Hi all. Feeling down this morning. Feeling lonly. Pity Party! Some of hubby's fam was talking abt a vacation in Aug and I TOLD my husband-we are going, no matter what. We missed the last two they all went on-well, because I don't do what needs to be done here with getting someone care for mom. I feel guilty asking siblings and know that I am going to get some grief... We don't have the money to put her in respite or really go on vacation. OR hubby doesn't want to go or can't get the time off from work. This is the same man who when I say, we never go on a vacation-he says, plan it and I will take the time off. HA! Then it is -Oh we have this or that going on, it is not a good time for me blah blah blah. SO, I inform the hubby that it is planned, and I asked the two sibling who do help me if they will stay with mom...and sis is off 4 weeks in the summer so she said she will make sure one of the weeks is that week... Well, I am getting all happy and thinking how much time I have to lose a little weight to look good in a bathing suit on the beach...HA! And, the vacation falls through. The sis in laws have some $$ prob and now can't go. They try and think of somewhere else, cheaper etc...and decide to stay at their parents for the week. Parents live on a lake near here. Yes, hubby and I can go somewhere anyway-but I am having a pity party and am mad that the one time we say yes, it falls through! OMG-I am soooo laughing at myself right now-I hope all of you are too!!!! Am I a big baby or what!? But this is life... now, I have to get the horsepower to plan a vacation myself and go with my hubby-without other ppl to make it a little more fun...and less expensive when sharing expenses. Why not go to the in laws lake house? Sorry, hubby will find things to "fix" while he is there like he always does when we go out to spend some quality time with his folks or just go hang at the lake-which is seldom-but he can't just sit and relax there. I guess I just want to go away. Far away. haha. If I am going to have someone here for a week with mom I guess I just want to take advantage of it big time...not go 20 min away. And we really don't have the money to do much. UGH. Another thing bothering me is that I have my bro coming Saturday so we can go to dinner with 2 of hubby's sibs and spouses. Now, hubby wants me to ask bro to stay the night with mom and we stay with sibs at his folks house for the overnight just to spend more time with the sibs coming from out of town. Yes, that would be nice...and this bro is the one who always helps me...but I feel like I am asking too much of him on short notice. I probably will and he will prob say yes. But it just got me thinking how strapped down I feel to this house and mom...no freedom. Lonly. I am just in my head too much and sometimes wish I wasn't. That I could just go on day to day la la la and not know what I am missing. I don't know, I am just venting... Funny story-mom didn't know who I was yesterday morning-or who she was-or where we are etc. So, I go thru the whole thing of who she is etc and I am showing her pictures. I show her a pic of her with her brothers at my wedding... She doesn't really know them...but all of a sudden she blurts out "your first wedding or your second?" I almost fell on the floor! Yes, I was married before-but the fact that she remembered that??? TOO FUNNY!!! I guess I am a bit manic today with my writing...skipping around...sorry. I have been trying to get lots of little things done around the house when I can...pushing myself-cause it is really easy to sit on the couch or nap or eat when I have a free moment from mom. I have been feeling really good about what I have been accomplishing. However, I am exhausted! Which is probably why everything is bothering me. I just want to wake up-well rested-ready for the day and go! But that feeling first thing in the morning has left me-and did so long ago... God, I am depressed aren't?! Sorry, it has all been about me. Deef-you are right-we are not as young as we used to be! Hi Cat! You got married on St Patty's Day?!! 40 years! Congrats! Sounds like you are on year 40 too Deef! Congrats! Meanwhile-we are all in LM sometimes! Bobbie-Rhode Island etc is not that far from here and we could meet up with Deef...where will you be in Aug??!! haha Jen-take cover! (exploding mom....) Mishka-glad the party went well! Sharyn-hope the results come out good! Lildeb-how you feelin honey? Hey Yogi and BJ and everyone else out there in caregiver land! Thanks for letting me vent, I feel better already. Mame
So the darn cat wanted to go out when I was ready for bed! I let him out thinking he would be right back, so I thought, why not leave him out for longer and maybe all the fresh air would make him sleep all night. Well, that backfired! The little sh!t was gone for an hour!!!! I sat up watching "Duck Dynasty" until after midnight! the little turd! At least he didn't bother me in bed all night, but was waiting by the back door when I woke up at 6.He went out, but came right back for food. My shoulder and right arm are very sore. The upper arm is the worst because I had a ruptured tendon there due to the shoulder issue. It's real uncomfortable to lift my arm and rolling Mom over this morning wasn't easy. Now I have to get her up and ready for daycare. That should be lots of fun! Shirley, LM mode is good as long as you check in here and there! Bobbie, Take your pick of locations in N.E. Any of them would only be a 2 hour drive for me! Rhode Island is nice! Newport and the mansions. Block Island, I've never been there, but my brother goes there all the time. Even N.J. is only a 4 -5 hour drive. I'll just pack my bags and tell the sibs I'm off and they are in charge! It's a royal pain learning all that boat stuff, but after you get her out on the water and have the freedom of going anywhere and having your own accommodations with you, I bet you will forget how long and hard it was to get to that point. Cat, It's not a matter of being careful, I just gave to realize I'm not a kid anymore! Know what I mean? A twenty something mind in a 61 year old body. I'm fortunate in the fact that I'm a "young" 60 and don't look anywhere near my age. But I sure feel it sometimes! Okay, It's time to roll Mom out of bed and do the morning routine. Hope I can get her into the car with this bum arm!!!
Deef: You have got to be careful. You could break a leg, arm or worse. It's amazing how fast something serious can happen, especially when our minds are going in so many directions. Hope you are feeling better. Sorry about FIL. Hope he can come home.
Bobbie: I love to hear your boat stories and the possible sailing destinations. I don't imagine you can make it to Washington state. Look up John Wayne Marina. It's two miles from my house. I could get Jen and bring her to meet you. Actually, it would be a lot cheaper for you if we all chipped in a got her an airline ticket to where you are on the East Coast. Are you excited about heading out and navigating up the coast? Sounds like a dream come true. Maybe some water wings for Able SeaCat, First Class. Sounds awesome!!
Jen: How long was your hair when you decided to take it down to the nub?
Stormy: Hoping all is well with you.
Sorry I don't mention everyone, but I do sends hugs to you all.
Deef!!! I am so sorry about your fall! Awful and I hope you are not going to be too sore. Ow Ow Ow. Deef, you really do need a break and I am not talking about breaking your ass on the stairs. I think it's a great idea that you go and get Rip and kidnap Jen and go to the Lake. Jen, tell your aunt that you're going!!! Break time!!
Thinking about lildeb and hope she's ok.
Linda, I hope you are doing better and I am so sorry for the loss of Sheba. Please give Debbie a hug from me and get Debbie to hug you. Saw the picture of you cutting my hair on the boat from when you and Deb came. That was a good haircut! I've been using the Flowbee and that turns out ok but not as good as when you cut it.
Flex! You know that you have a boatload of boat time racked up and I hope that it happens!
Jen! Reading your play and it's GOOD. Would love to see it produced. I still think that there has to be a way to produce An Evening With.... and do both of the plays?
Stormy and Meanwhile and Austin and Cat and Sharyn and Mame and Mish and Yogi and Kuli and CUZ! where are you and Barb and I hope Jam is doing better and everyone I have missed check in and chew me out.
I had a diver on the boat today and he worked for 4 hours since I haven't had the bottom scrubbed in about 4 months. I ran up and down the dock getting zincs and this and that and he got them all changed out. 7 zincs. Bowthruster is 2, 2 on the get home shaft, 1 on the get home strut, 2 giant zincs on the keel and if I can get this big donut zinc trimmed 1/4" he will come back tomorrow and put that on the main shaft. Right now it's too wide and when I throw the boat in reverse it could hang up the tranny so no zinc on the main shaft until it's trimmed. Man, all I wanted to do was get a boat and go swimming. Didn't know I was going to have to learn all this stuff.
You put zincs on boats to keep the electrical charges that run in salt water from corroding the different metals. The zincs are sacrificial anodes so they are attacked first and keep the metal in the boat from going away.
Tomorrow we will move the boat to a different dock and she will go into the next phase of cosmetic repair. Deef! I am still working on the boat AND moving on haha. moving on another dock woohoo.
I don't remember if I told you guys that the Cat fell in again. I was standing on the dock and she went to jump onto the boat and missed the rail. She hauled herself out by climbing up the piling onto the dock and I grabbed her and took her below into the tub to rinse the river off of her. There's all kinds of barnacle worms etc etc so I got her rinsed with fresh water while ignoring the howls of indignation. Falling in and hauling herself out gets her another promotion so now she is: Able SeaCat, First Class.
Tonight she was on the dock hanging out under the dock cart and I didn't see her so when I did the fingers-in-my-mouth whistle she jumped on so fast she startled me. She's been getting me up early as well. The 5am Alarm Cat. Now she's sitting right next to me on the clean laundry trimming her toenails.
My Cousin Vinny Train going by. Man oh man.
I am looking at marinas all the way up into the Chesapeake and don't know exactly where the next place is going to be but I do know that at 7.5 kts it will take awhile to get anywhere. I sure would like to be able to dock close to those of us who are coastal like we talked about 3 years ago. Anyone who is still interested in that let me know your general locations again and I will begin a float plan. Can't head to the islands until late Fall since I don't want to be there during hurricane season so thinking about heading North through the Spring and Summer and finding hurricane holes up the coast and then turning South starting in late October.
Talked to Ted today and he is doing better as well. I miss seeing his cat avatar too. That is a funny picture.
OK, the Cat will get me up at 5 no matter what so I am turning in.
Love all you guys way more than you'll ever know. lovbob
What a day! Stormy, that darn cat got me up at 4AM, so I let him out and left him out for a half hour. I wasn't feeling well at all when he woke me, so when he kept after me for another hour, I just ignored him and he eventually stopped. I woke up again just before 8 and felt like crap, so I checked on Mom and rolled her onto her side like I do every morning, and went back to bed. Next thing I knew, it was 10 AM!!! I jumped out of bed and checked on Mom and she was still dosing, so I got myself dressed. I didn't feel well at all, but had to deal with Mom until Erin came at noon. During the afternoon, I had to go to the cellar for something and caught my toes on one of the steps as I was climbing them. I fell forward and caught my full weight on my hands. Oweee!!! I jammed my left wrist that was already bothering me, and jolted my right shoulder that I had surgery on. Needless to say, I had to sit on the stairs for a minute. My left wrist is sore and a bit swollen, and my right shoulder is getting stiff. I sure hope I didn't tear the rotator cuff again! What a klutz!!! Any results on your dad yet? My FIL has a stomach ulcer! He will be fine, but my sil wants them to send him to rehab to get his strength back. What!!! He isn't really sick, and has only been in the hospital since yesterday. If they release him tomorrow, the rehab they have to send him to, is not a good one. He was there 2 years ago and hated it. The other one he was at is much nicer, but he came home with c-diff and almost died! I told my husband they should bring him home and have the physical therapist come to the house. They can get a twin bed to put where the couch is in the living room and she and my husband can take turns spending the night to keep an eye on him. I don't think he needs rehab, but I do think he shouldn't be alone at night anymore. they are both retired and if they don't want to do it, then they should hire someone to stay and keep an eye on him for a couple weeks. He has plenty of $$. My husband is tired of trying to convince his sister what they should do. She doesn't want to be tied down. Her husband died 11 years ago and she likes to travel and take craft classes etc. She uses the excuse that she would not be able to get her father up if he fell. I said that's what a phone is for, to call for help! I sure hope she doesn't let them send him to rehab. he hates places like that! I guess it's not my call, but I just feel he is afraid to be alone at home at night, and they won't release him from rehab unless someone is going to be staying with him anyway! So why put him through that? LilDeb, Sure hope you aren't in too much pain and are getting some much deserved rest! Cat, 1973 was a good year! I think? we were married on my grandparents anniversary and they were married for 63 years before my grandmother died at the age of 92. That's when we found out why she was always so frustrated with my grandfather. He had been suffering from early dementia for a couple years and we never new it! he was a handful for the next 2 years until he died at 93. We were married for 30 years on 3/3/03. That was pretty cool! Jen, Sounds like you had some fun with your new hairdo, or would you call it hairdon't? Mom is really off her rocker not to take up the time share offer! I say you go by yourself too! When is it again? maybe I;ll head back out that way and Rip and I can join you there! Hell, let's all go stay with Jen!!! Party time!!! Sharyn, Did you get an appointment to see the neurologist today? Diane, Mom calm down for you yet? Don't you hate when you can't cut a break! Bobbie!!!! Still working on the boat? or moving on! Time to ice my shoulder or I won't be able to handle Mom in the morning. Night everyone!
You know that er crazy but I could really see it, all of us up a lake Coeur d'Alene at a time share swimmin, drinkin, laughing,....Not cleaning poop off anything for days at a stretch...
dog howling gotta go do dinner here...and I forgot my head covering down stairs. mom is gonna have a crap horse!
Lildeb: Wish you an early happy birthday. I will be thinking of you in surgery and sending a big splash of the white. Don't you worry, things are going to be fine.
Hey Mame: What a good idea about meeting up with Jen.
Deef: Our 40th wedding anniversary is on March 17th.
You know the hair "hair" does look good. I think the ugly will come when it is to butch short for someone who wears skirts all the time...
Shopping was, um...yesterday and I am real glad, I told anyone I knew what and why and mom look so pissed the whole timer. i think she thought I was getting some sort of sympathy for having cancer or something... Ignoring her...
Thank you, Deef. And the price of gas keeps changing almost daily. I have had to readjust my finances to make my visits work for my mom. It's so important for me and her to see one another.
I hope your FIL has some good news from his procedure tomorrow. It must be tough on you, too.
Lildeb, good luck with your surgery.
Everyone, hello and I hope you have the best day you can have. Blessings
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Been a long tiring day here. My FIL is at the rehab as of late this afternoon. Supposed to only be there for 5 or 6 days. He was in good spirits and the EMT's were fighting over who would ride in the back with him. They were discussing how he lived through the Great Depression and how he thinks things are just as bad or worse now!
Mom was tired after daycare and so was I from hauling her in and getting her into bed for a nap! I didn't get a lot of help from her getting in and out of the car today, so my shoulder is really sore tonight. I'm still not feeling 100% since Wednesday morning when I woke up feeling like crap. Must have picked up some virus at the ER earlier in the week.
I'm sooo tired, so I will keep this short and catch up with everyone else this weekend. I'm falling asleep while typing here, so I'm off to feed the cats and then going to bed!
night everyone!!
Sharyn-great idea to have her go to daycare if they have it and get her comfortable with the place if she ends up there! I hope that works out for you! There are days I feel really guilty that I do not stimulate mom's brain more...but you are right-there is so much to do here at home for us it is difficult to keep mom entertained let alone challenged! Day care is so good for them! Some evenings I just wish a sibling would pop in to entertain mom so I can just veg! It is exhausting!
Stormy-thanks, I hope we get to go somewhere too-wish we all could! And Jen-I may just do that-car running! you coming? no? Ba-bye!
Hubby gets paid today so I get to go grocery shopping! I can't wait to get out of here! I may go have my hair done too... Caregiver has somewhere to be so I have to kinda hurry...but it will just be good to get out for a little while. Cupboards are bare! Well, almost.
Snowing here this morning. Looks pretty but it is wet. Damp. Not fluffy etc. Prob won't stay long.
BJ I am sure we all understand you do not want any more responsibilities! We had birds when we were kids. But like everything else-there is work involved! Flex-yup-freedom! Wouldn't it be nice.. Altho mom moved in going on 9 years now, she really started deteriorating about 5 yrs ago. I never dreamed she would live this long when we moved her out of her house. Ya never know!
Well, the puppy just arrived. Gotta run the dogs before mom wakes up. Have a decent Friday all! Mame
Cat- Didn't I hear that it was your anniversary, well happy anniversary to you and the hubby!!
Lil deb- I hope you are doing alright from your surgery. Get some rest. Prayers for you!!
Bobbie- Hey there captain!!
Mame- I am sorry you are down in the dumps, I know it sucks. But I do hope that you and the hubby get to go somewhere far, far away.
Bj- Glad to see you here...
Jen- I hope you are doing alright.
Well, I know I forgot to mention names but I am sending all of you hugs. Love, Stormy
Mame, glad your mood is better. I hope we all get to have a vacation this year.
Stormy, any news on dad yet?
Sharyn, how about mom's MRI results?
LilDeb, Hope you aren't in too much pain.:(
Hey there Shirley! Yogi!, Kuli!,Bobbie! Mishka!
Jen, any hair yet? Arm is very sore after wrestling Mom all day! But I think it will work itself out eventually.
Diane, Too bad you have to bring work home, but sounds like you need to get it done. Mom is quiet, just grabby as hell!
Maxine, You all rested up yet?
Cat, It would be cool for Bobbie to go through the Panama Canal with her boat!
I'm sure I forgot someone, but my brains are fried! I actually sat down earlier and made a few pairs of earrings, just to relax for a bit.
Oh yeh, My fil is heading to rehab tomorrow.:( Sil is convinced that aspirin gave him the ulcer and he doesn't need to change his diet! What an a$$. She just doesn't want to do the extra work for him! Can't convince her that not taking aspirin everyday is not going to fix the ulcer. He needs to change how and what he eats too.
I sure hope he's not in rehab too long. Don't want him to get sick like he did last time. My husband told his sister that if she didn't listen to the doctors, that he was not going to help her out if he ends up in the hospital again! Can't fight someone who thinks they know everything. He told her to research it online and she just said she didn't have the time and it wasn't necessary! Some people!
Okay, night everyone. Hope you all get a good rest tonight!
Mom had a shower tonight... "Why are we doing this at night?" Well mom, you had a headache or some other excuse all week so, in the shower you go! Thank God for Downton Abbey after! Well, for me and hubby...mom had to watch EWTN to see the Pope's last day... Gotta get her ready for bed now. Hair in curlers...she loves that! Still in a funk but looking forward to the weekend. G'night! Mame
Wouldn't let me pull her pants down. Had a death grip on them. Then wouldn't sit down on the raised toilet seat, as she stood there throwing her head back and stiffening up like a board. The whole time she's trying to reach stuff on the hamper, the trash basket and anything else she sees!!! I'm trying to get her clothes off and she's trying to get off the toilet to reach the curtains over the window! She's grabbing my shirt, my arms, my ass!!! it's like she has 8 hands and they are everywhere!!! Dentures were easy to get out for a change, but she kept grabbing the washcloth and towel as I am trying to bathe her. Then she starts pulling on her boob as if it was a piece of clothing! it must have hurt, but in her wild frenzy, she never even flinched! We won't even discuss getting the diaper on. She has a broken blister on her shin from rubbing her legs in bed. The PD causes her to constantly cross her ankles, even in bed. Then she jives all over when she first gets in bed, so she rubbed the skin raw. this is a first, so I have been putting antibiotic ointment and a bandage over it at night. Well, I no sooner got that on, and she spotted it! The race was on to get her nightgown on and her into bed so I could tie the top sheet down with her arms on top so that she can't pick at the bandage or her diaper. Learned that trick after cleaning up one wet diaper mess allover the place! Now I will keep my fingers crossed that she will go right to sleep, but I'm not counting on it with how wound up she was.
Sorry! I needed to get that out!!!
Going to take a breather. I'll check in later!
Hair was below shoulders when I craft-scissors attacked it. Cat Then finished with the nose hair trimmer..Mine. NOT fp!
Mom had el crappo day yesterday, from having him yell at her: "What did you put in that stuffing!" "Some Spice it making me gag!" Sure it is old man sure it is...The generic brand of box stuffing you have been choking down for two decades...
whatever, that and my forgetting to wear my hat, she about had a coronary. today she is taking him out to do his taxes...so house to myself.
Gah deef how is the arm now? should you get it looked at?
Thanks Bobbie, no idea, it is all so foreign to me I feel like what the hell do I think I am doing I have never even SEEN a play!
BJ, had three different relatives give my grandfather cases of chili for his 90 th ...yes thank you, you come and clean it off the walls...
DNR is a very serious decision Diane, you know from quality of life issues, but it doesn't make it easy.
My aunt said she had never cleaned her trash or sent folders in email and had over 3,000 in her history..do not do this!
Mom was re-evaluated today for recertification for Hospice. She has lost 25 pounds since Thanksgiving. The mental decline is what is causing the rapid physical decline now. The nurse had a long talk with me about how I would handle things if mom died at home. I think I will be okay since I was the only one home when my dad died. I already know all of mom's wishes for her burial. I have to make the decision to sign a DNR for mom but I'm trying to come to terms with that decision. I know logically it is the right thing to do, but I'm not sure I'm ready emotionally. It's just another step in the long good-bye.
Cat, it sounds like you had a "lucky" choice in your mate, not only being married on St. Patty's Day. Deef, I sure hope you didn't do too much damage to your shoulder. I hope Lildeb is recovering from her surgery. I can relate to everyone's "alarm" cats. The youngest one is the loudest of our alarms. Remus, the 20lb Maine Coon likes to stick his face in ours and wakes us up.
Bobbie, I'm about a 2 hour drive from Charleston, SC, 2.5 from Savannah, GA and 3 hours from Myrtle Beach, SC. Savannah and Charleston are both great historic cities. I got the news yesterday that my a/hole sister plans to visit on March 14th. Hospice is going to work with me to get mom into the nursing home while sis is here so I don't have to have any interaction with her. It was her visit last year that lead to my suicide attempt.
Well let me get some work done. I had to bring some home since I ran out of time at the office. This huge group leaving next week is about to kill me already. I just pray everything runs smoothly and they have a great tour.
Have a good evening all and I'll check in soon again.
Love ya,
Diane
Mame, you are about a 4 hour drive from here. It's a straight shot all the way on I90. We should find a place in the middle and meet there for a week of fun. I can pick up anyone that is on my way! The more the merrier!!
Jen, trying to picture a "mom" explosion!!! think I've done that myself a few times!
Off to pick up Mom from daycare!
Deef-you are right-we are not as young as we used to be! Hi Cat! You got married on St Patty's Day?!! 40 years! Congrats! Sounds like you are on year 40 too Deef! Congrats! Meanwhile-we are all in LM sometimes! Bobbie-Rhode Island etc is not that far from here and we could meet up with Deef...where will you be in Aug??!! haha Jen-take cover! (exploding mom....) Mishka-glad the party went well! Sharyn-hope the results come out good! Lildeb-how you feelin honey? Hey Yogi and BJ and everyone else out there in caregiver land! Thanks for letting me vent, I feel better already. Mame
At least he didn't bother me in bed all night, but was waiting by the back door when I woke up at 6.He went out, but came right back for food. My shoulder and right arm are very sore. The upper arm is the worst because I had a ruptured tendon there due to the shoulder issue. It's real uncomfortable to lift my arm and rolling Mom over this morning wasn't easy. Now I have to get her up and ready for daycare. That should be lots of fun!
Shirley, LM mode is good as long as you check in here and there!
Bobbie, Take your pick of locations in N.E. Any of them would only be a 2 hour drive for me! Rhode Island is nice! Newport and the mansions. Block Island, I've never been there, but my brother goes there all the time. Even N.J. is only a 4 -5 hour drive. I'll just pack my bags and tell the sibs I'm off and they are in charge!
It's a royal pain learning all that boat stuff, but after you get her out on the water and have the freedom of going anywhere and having your own accommodations with you, I bet you will forget how long and hard it was to get to that point.
Cat, It's not a matter of being careful, I just gave to realize I'm not a kid anymore! Know what I mean? A twenty something mind in a 61 year old body. I'm fortunate in the fact that I'm a "young" 60 and don't look anywhere near my age. But I sure feel it sometimes!
Okay, It's time to roll Mom out of bed and do the morning routine. Hope I can get her into the car with this bum arm!!!
Bobbie: I love to hear your boat stories and the possible sailing destinations. I don't imagine you can make it to Washington state. Look up John Wayne Marina. It's two miles from my house. I could get Jen and bring her to meet you. Actually, it would be a lot cheaper for you if we all chipped in a got her an airline ticket to where you are on the East Coast. Are you excited about heading out and navigating up the coast? Sounds like a dream come true. Maybe some water wings for Able SeaCat, First Class. Sounds awesome!!
Jen: How long was your hair when you decided to take it down to the nub?
Stormy: Hoping all is well with you.
Sorry I don't mention everyone, but I do sends hugs to you all.
Cat
I am so sorry about your fall! Awful and I hope you are not going to be too sore.
Ow Ow Ow. Deef, you really do need a break and I am not talking about breaking your ass on the stairs.
I think it's a great idea that you go and get Rip and kidnap Jen and go to the Lake. Jen, tell your aunt that you're going!!! Break time!!
Thinking about lildeb and hope she's ok.
Linda, I hope you are doing better and I am so sorry for the loss of Sheba. Please give Debbie a hug from me and get Debbie to hug you. Saw the picture of you cutting my hair on the boat from when you and Deb came. That was a good haircut! I've been using the Flowbee and that turns out ok but not as good as when you cut it.
Flex! You know that you have a boatload of boat time racked up and I hope that it happens!
Jen! Reading your play and it's GOOD. Would love to see it produced. I still think that there has to be a way to produce An Evening With.... and do both of the plays?
Stormy and Meanwhile and Austin and Cat and Sharyn and Mame and Mish and Yogi and Kuli and CUZ! where are you and Barb and I hope Jam is doing better and everyone I have missed check in and chew me out.
I had a diver on the boat today and he worked for 4 hours since I haven't had the bottom scrubbed in about 4 months. I ran up and down the dock getting zincs and this and that and he got them all changed out. 7 zincs. Bowthruster is 2, 2 on the get home shaft, 1 on the get home strut, 2 giant zincs on the keel and if I can get this big donut zinc trimmed 1/4" he will come back tomorrow and put that on the main shaft.
Right now it's too wide and when I throw the boat in reverse it could hang up the tranny so no zinc on the main shaft until it's trimmed.
Man, all I wanted to do was get a boat and go swimming. Didn't know I was going to have to learn all this stuff.
You put zincs on boats to keep the electrical charges that run in salt water from corroding the different metals. The zincs are sacrificial anodes so they are attacked first and keep the metal in the boat from going away.
Tomorrow we will move the boat to a different dock and she will go into the next phase of cosmetic repair. Deef! I am still working on the boat AND moving on haha.
moving on another dock woohoo.
I don't remember if I told you guys that the Cat fell in again. I was standing on the dock and she went to jump onto the boat and missed the rail. She hauled herself out
by climbing up the piling onto the dock and I grabbed her and took her below into the tub to rinse the river off of her. There's all kinds of barnacle worms etc etc so I got her rinsed with fresh water while ignoring the howls of indignation.
Falling in and hauling herself out gets her another promotion so now she is:
Able SeaCat, First Class.
Tonight she was on the dock hanging out under the dock cart and I didn't see her so when I did the fingers-in-my-mouth whistle she jumped on so fast she startled me.
She's been getting me up early as well. The 5am Alarm Cat. Now she's sitting right next to me on the clean laundry trimming her toenails.
My Cousin Vinny Train going by. Man oh man.
I am looking at marinas all the way up into the Chesapeake and don't know exactly where the next place is going to be but I do know that at 7.5 kts it will take awhile to get anywhere.
I sure would like to be able to dock close to those of us who are coastal like we talked about 3 years ago. Anyone who is still interested in that let me know your general locations again and I will begin a float plan. Can't head to the islands until late Fall since I don't want to be there during hurricane season so thinking about heading North through the Spring and Summer and finding hurricane holes up the coast and then turning South starting in late October.
Talked to Ted today and he is doing better as well. I miss seeing his cat avatar too. That is a funny picture.
OK, the Cat will get me up at 5 no matter what so I am turning in.
Love all you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
bad night here, mom so pissed she could explode..clearing off...
Stormy, that darn cat got me up at 4AM, so I let him out and left him out for a half hour. I wasn't feeling well at all when he woke me, so when he kept after me for another hour, I just ignored him and he eventually stopped. I woke up again just before 8 and felt like crap, so I checked on Mom and rolled her onto her side like I do every morning, and went back to bed. Next thing I knew, it was 10 AM!!! I jumped out of bed and checked on Mom and she was still dosing, so I got myself dressed. I didn't feel well at all, but had to deal with Mom until Erin came at noon.
During the afternoon, I had to go to the cellar for something and caught my toes on one of the steps as I was climbing them. I fell forward and caught my full weight on my hands. Oweee!!! I jammed my left wrist that was already bothering me, and jolted my right shoulder that I had surgery on. Needless to say, I had to sit on the stairs for a minute. My left wrist is sore and a bit swollen, and my right shoulder is getting stiff. I sure hope I didn't tear the rotator cuff again! What a klutz!!! Any results on your dad yet?
My FIL has a stomach ulcer! He will be fine, but my sil wants them to send him to rehab to get his strength back. What!!! He isn't really sick, and has only been in the hospital since yesterday. If they release him tomorrow, the rehab they have to send him to, is not a good one. He was there 2 years ago and hated it. The other one he was at is much nicer, but he came home with c-diff and almost died! I told my husband they should bring him home and have the physical therapist come to the house. They can get a twin bed to put where the couch is in the living room and she and my husband can take turns spending the night to keep an eye on him. I don't think he needs rehab, but I do think he shouldn't be alone at night anymore. they are both retired and if they don't want to do it, then they should hire someone to stay and keep an eye on him for a couple weeks. He has plenty of $$.
My husband is tired of trying to convince his sister what they should do. She doesn't want to be tied down. Her husband died 11 years ago and she likes to travel and take craft classes etc. She uses the excuse that she would not be able to get her father up if he fell. I said that's what a phone is for, to call for help!
I sure hope she doesn't let them send him to rehab. he hates places like that!
I guess it's not my call, but I just feel he is afraid to be alone at home at night, and they won't release him from rehab unless someone is going to be staying with him anyway! So why put him through that?
LilDeb, Sure hope you aren't in too much pain and are getting some much deserved rest!
Cat, 1973 was a good year! I think? we were married on my grandparents anniversary and they were married for 63 years before my grandmother died at the age of 92. That's when we found out why she was always so frustrated with my grandfather. He had been suffering from early dementia for a couple years and we never new it! he was a handful for the next 2 years until he died at 93. We were married for 30 years on 3/3/03. That was pretty cool!
Jen, Sounds like you had some fun with your new hairdo, or would you call it hairdon't? Mom is really off her rocker not to take up the time share offer! I say you go by yourself too! When is it again? maybe I;ll head back out that way and Rip and I can join you there! Hell, let's all go stay with Jen!!! Party time!!!
Sharyn, Did you get an appointment to see the neurologist today?
Diane, Mom calm down for you yet? Don't you hate when you can't cut a break!
Bobbie!!!! Still working on the boat? or moving on!
Time to ice my shoulder or I won't be able to handle Mom in the morning. Night everyone!
dog howling gotta go do dinner here...and I forgot my head covering down stairs. mom is gonna have a crap horse!
Hey Mame: What a good idea about meeting up with Jen.
Deef: Our 40th wedding anniversary is on March 17th.
Got to run for now. Sending hugs to everyone.
Cat
Shopping was, um...yesterday and I am real glad, I told anyone I knew what and why and mom look so pissed the whole timer. i think she thought I was getting some sort of sympathy for having cancer or something...
Ignoring her...
what is with the ER there, has it come in threes or are you onto fives!
Can't deal with more fall-out from mom, so I keep it on....
Aunt offering her time shares AT A LAKE! so mom and I could get away for a few days while she is here in summer...will mom do it? NNOOOOOOOOO!
I have to go cry now...
I hope your FIL has some good news from his procedure tomorrow. It must be tough on you, too.
Lildeb, good luck with your surgery.
Everyone, hello and I hope you have the best day you can have.
Blessings