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We get close at times, she has begun to mess with her skirt and top in public. My mom is very anal about where the band of her skirt is and so she lifts her shirt and shows her belly. When we tell her to stop, she says no one can see.
We find that most people around us are willing to look the other way and be nice because of her age. But it makes us laugh, I am sure we will get to a point that we do not take her out either. We have told my mom that time will come, but I think in my mom's mind she isn't going to live that long. My mom is feeling her age, but the doctor's say she is tough, so we will see how it goes.
I have lots of thoughts, but I refuse to say them to even my friends. I think some of the things I think are not nice and most of them are when I am frustrated. So now I just try to keep things in perspective if at all possible. You see on top of mom's Alzheimer's, I have my own challenges with the change of life, so I am sure we are two nutty women, which probably explains why my husband drinks his beer. :-)
I hope you and your husband get a break to eat out once in awhile. We don't get much in terms of date time unless we take mom to church to sit with my sister. Otherwise we are trio deal and I am sure interesting for people watchers.
My mom has taken up sucking on her fingers and licking them. Yuck!!! Forgot to tell you we stopped taking her out to eat 2 years ago after she got her shirt over her head in Taco Bell before we even noticed! When we saw the looks on the faces of the other diners, we quickly hustled ourselves out the door!
Thanks for sharing! Glad to know my mom isn't the only one that does these things and she says well I am cleaning them out.
Just tonight at dinner, instead of taking them out she sat there with her fingers in her mouth. I looked at her smiled and said take your finger out. She looked at me and said I don't have a toothpick to clean them.
The worst part is I couldn't help but laugh because it was innocent and logical, it just doesn't look good at a dinner table.
These are the stories that I am putting into a book because I believe we have to have a sense of humor or we will go completely nuts otherwise. Although according to a friend of mine, I was nuts to start with. :-)
Deef: My camera isn't so great. My granddaughter, Amanda, says I don't have enough pixels....I would love to take pics here that were good quality. It's on my to do list. Hugs.
Lildeb: I have your surgery on my calendar. I'll be sending you white light every single day and 10 times over on surgery day. Thanks for hearing me with your heart. I appreciate it. I'll let you know about the book.
Lildeb, Living with daily pain is something we all deal with from an early age. I used to wonder why my legs and feet hurt so bad that it made me cry, after a day of standing at work when I was a teenager. The answer back then for every kind of pain was it's just "growing pains"! Hate to clue them in, but i stopped growing when I hit 12! Now I grow out instead of up!! I have been very lucky with my health compared to you. It's different for everyone and I admire you for being so strong after all you have been through. the thing with autoimmune disease is we rarely get colds or flus because the antibodies keep outside diseases at bay. Now if we could just get our own bodies to stop attacking us, we would be doing good! My doctor always tells me I'm the healthiest looking sick person he has in his practice. I always tell him I'm not sure if I should says thanks for the compliment or ask him if he's trying to be funny! Make sure you rest up as much as you can, but if you are like me, you will bounce back and heal fast! I remember my grandparents getting milk delivered to the door, in glass bottles with the paper caps, every other day. And right under that cap was an inch or so of cream. meme was use it for tea, or save it to make whipped topping, or let one of us kids drink it. It was so good! Man, I sure miss all those childhood memories! it was so much simpler back then and so much more fun! watching Yukon Men and then off to bed. Night everyone!
Mame, You r sooooooooooooooo right. however, he just a regular surgeon dr that my gastro sent me to for the surgery. I heard he is pretty good n he did have good bedside manners n a sense of humor so I feel a little at ease.
Cattail, send all the white light u can for I need it big time. It will be bright n early on 27th of Wed at 5:30 am sharp. However, I was told the surgery probable won't start till after 7am. Glad the collar system seems to be working for elks. I bet your scenery area of living just sound lovely with the elks n bull. We had before all this rain, a whole swarm of red Robins around our neighborhood. Maybe thought it was spring with this weird weather. So sorry about your pain n it is hard for me to grieve about something for I am always trying to be the strong person. I think it does sound like the grieving has hit the surface. Not to mention everyone grieves differently. When u have some time to crack that book open, could you let me know what ya think about it. Sending you a little white light your way n prayers helping you with your losses n that includes r animals too.
deefer, you r absolutely right about the, autoimmune disease just suck n some. However, I am blessed to be giving a kidney, so more dialysis n Lupus sle has been in remission even though the Raynaud part in my fingers n toes can get to ya. I understand n it's pretty bad sometimes when u got to out weight the pros' n con's when it comes to meds. I have been taking for yrs now a Low dose of Prednisone n really has helped me with the lupus part. It had gotten down where it would take me a 30minuetes just to from a lying down position in bed to even sit up n much less turn on side of the bed just to get my feet in the position to lift up off the bed. We all know how bad we have to go do that early am emptying the bladder thing. Walking was a whole deal step-by-step. However, its one of those meds you got to outweigh the pro's n cons. As for the anesthesia, I never had a problem but both the anesthesia n pain meds seem to constipate me n I sure don't won't that after the surgery. So, I will try to suck it up as much as possible. I am a pretty tough cookie. Us autoimmune folks has to be or we been gone a long time ago. ; ) Besides, if the good Lord is willing I have a 48 birthday coming up March 1st. The digital photograph is an awesome idea for I got mine for Christmas gift n I put a lot of Mother Nature stuff on it. Wow, your dad actually process pictures at his house that is amazing memory. My dad use to mild r cow n then scrape the top of the milk to get the cream. Then we would take a canning jar n shake it till it turned into butter. We also made home-made ice-cream with a churn bucket, you bring back some old memories to cherish. Cat, grieve at your own pace for their is no right or wrong way n cherish the good ones you had with your parents. I hope everyone can get a restful night sleep n have a great weekend.
Dang ... teach me to try & post again. Added stuff about family stuff which no longer exists, the big yellow bowl, warm summer nights where we all relaxed ... hand cranked anything - everything back then ...
tell me the difference of Analog & Digital. I'll share a dream when we lost party lines to private lines back in the Ma Bell days. Anyone else miss those simpler days?
It's OK Deef ... those black, white & sepia memories ... photos hanging from clothespins in my dark room ... Love digital but miss true photography sans photoshop.
Dkje, Last time we were at the casino buffet, I looked up and saw a perfectly sane elder take her teeth out and lick them off at the table! Thought I was going to hurl everything I had just eaten. Needless to say, I didn't go back for more after that! Jen, Very funny!!! I'll send you some wipes. I always have them on hand! Mishka, how sweet is that! Mo has enough presence of mind to want to throw a party for her husband! Love the e-mail and hope you tracked down all the food and cake orders. If you have any extras, send them our way! LilDeb, doesn't autoimmune disease just suck! there are so many aspects of it and you never know when another side of the disease will take over another part of your body. I don't know how you can deal with all that and your mil too! I know you have both Raynauds and urticaria like me. I get tested for rheumatoid arthritis and lupus every year and I have had Gerd since I was a teenager. It's no fun when your own body decides to attack itself! try to get some rest before the surgery so you won't be too tired. You don't want to make the recovery any harder. Do you have problems with anesthesia and pain meds? Both make me very ill and I can only take one or two pain pills for the first 2 days, then I have to stop and suck it up on my own. Like cat said, let us know the date and time so we can think good thoughts for you! Mame,I like your style! How's mom been doing? Cat, you have a regular zoo going there! Do you take pictures of all the wildlife? I'd be out there every day getting as many as I could! You could edit them and make framed prints to sell. Not many of us is lucky enough to get an opportunity like that. I just love digital photography! Take a bad picture, fix it! Can't fix it? delete it! No film, no developing. Store them on your computer and look at them whenever you want! So fun and easy! Although I do admit to screwing up when it comes to the menu on my camera. I always forget what buttons to push and how to find the flash etc. Miss some good photo ops that way! My dad belonged to a camera club in town when we were little. He used the four oldest of us 7 as models all the time. It was fun to watch him develop them in the cellar. He used to let us use the wooden tongs to take the finish pictures out of the solution tray, then we would hang them from clips over the bathtub to dry. Now that was real family time! We didn't own a TV until I was 10 years old. My dad never really cooked a lot, but on Saturday nights he would get out the big yellow Pyrex bowl and the old hand crank style egg beater and whip us up a big old batch of eggnog! He always let each one of us take a turn with the beater and sprinkling a bit of nutmeg. What happened to those days? Okay, didn't mean to go off on a tangent! Talking about taking pictures just brought up memories I hadn't thought about in years. To bad dad had to die so young, He would have loved to done those those things with his grandchildren and great grandchildren.:( Okay, can't see through my tears. Later!
Mishka: Glad to hear from you. Hope you stay on board.
Lildeb: I don't know how you do it with everything you have to cope with. I will be keeping you in my prayers for sure!!! Let us know the date and time of your surgery so we can all be sending a little white light your way.
Meanwhile: The elk have been visiting. The bulls usually show up in December and hang out in our area. I haven't seen them today, but they're not far away. About a mile and a half from our house is the highway, just two lanes and it is the only way in and out of our little town. Years back, the city put up warning lights that flash when the elk are close to the highway. Fish and game darted some of the bulls and cows in order to put electronic collars on them. The collars set off the flashing highway lights when the elk are within a mile of the road. There hasn't been an elk vs car incident in years as a result.
There is a group of geese that have been visiting the pond. I'm hoping it is part of the family that had their babies here last year. We'll see if we get babies again this year.
Our bird population is thriving. Quail everywhere along with a vast assortment of other birds. We have two hummingbirds who have stayed through the winter and we keep their feeders full.
Linda: I'm truly sorry for all the sad things happening in your family. You take care of yourself and your hubby.
I check the You thread every once in a while to see how Jam is doing. She seems to be having a very difficult time. Been in the hospital with stomach problems and I believe pneumonia too. She been readmitting due to stomach issues. My heart goes out to her. She is truly grief stricken and clearly suffering. Maybe everyone can say a prayer for her.
I've been struggling along. In and out of the black hole. It's grief, pure and simple. I didn't expect it to be like this, but I think when you start to experience it, it's not just one thing. I never had a chance to grieve my mom. When she passed, I still had my dad and I felt helpless to relieve his grief. Of course, that wasn't my job or within my power, but it broke my heart to know he was so sad and to see his tears. I find I am now missing my dear soul mate (dog), Kate, who passed in 2006, while my mom was undergoing cancer surgery. I miss my sweet Sky, (another dog) who died a couple of weeks before we brought my dad home from rehab to live with us. I guess we often suppress painful things when we have to take care of others. When they are gone, it all makes it's way to the surface, bit by bit.
A friend gave me a book, a birthday gift, on grief. It's called "Unattended Sorrow", by Stephen Levine. I'll give you all a review when I have read it.
Deef, you and I are just fine. In fact, I'm fine with everyone.
Well, I can here the geese coming in for a landing. Love to see them glide into the pond.
Sharyn, so sorry to hear about your brother's stepson health. Please keep us posted on your mom test results n I am sending you n your family some prayers. Keep us posted how you are holding up. Stormy, I hope they are able to find out why your dad having blood in his tube. Keep us posted on he is doing n yourself too. Prayers r sent your way as well. It just seem we all r going through a lot these past few months. Come on spring time! Bobbie, Well spoken n I too came here all alone n not knowing if their was anyone else in a similar situation that, understood what I was going through day-by-day. This is a great forum that u got started for we all can relate some way or another.
Here goes today but it's not gross just frustration. I had to go pre-registry for my surgery next wk n it took us 3 freaking hrs! Why? Of course, the caregiver-me has to have more than one illness so, as I went to speak with the Nurse for Anesthesia, she had to get a fax from my heart dr that I was okay since last Dec. Of course, she said being my records that were sent from my heart specialist stated that I had congestive heart-failure that I would have to get an x-ray n ekg before I had the surgery with them. Plus, I had to get lab-work. I just got poke 2 days ago for a fasting prograf lab if I only knew that would had been one less poke for they only can do one arm due to my fistula is still n my right arm. I can see why they needed to take precautions. I mean, diabetes type1, post kidney transplant, lupus sle n I guess they keep that congestive heart failure on the books. I do take heart meds but I passed my last Ekg n the stress test so go figure. Anyway, done with all that, the mil did pretty good with all that running around n I treated her to her favorite place, the Waffle House. So, as for now I am still set for the roid surgery. I knew I was a pain in the ass but literally. I am tired, n pain n dizzy n to br honest, I will be glad when this surgery is over! Everyone don't forget to take time to breath.
Hi. Been reading some posts. Just thought I would chime in. Aren't you all thrilled (wink wink). I feel like I am persona non grata( -sp?) on this thread some and I take responsibility for some of that. Not all but some---ok-most. I came on here like a bull in a china shop! And I am sorry. I was going through a really, really rough time with my Mom and Dad and , well, let it rip. Cattails, I thought you were very sweet to me about the whole thing! TY!!! I did not appreciate the "Looks like we have another "Amber whoever" response . I thought that was mean and petty. And , obviously, an inside joke. :o(
That being said (written) - here is MY rant about my Mom- she planned (and I say planned very very very loosely) a surprise party for my Dad who is turning 80. She has dementia. For the last month my sister, brother and I have been trying to hunt down all the stores she called to order food from and all the relatives that sort of got invited on different days. She was bound and determined to have this stupid party though my Dad said "NO PARTY!". So my sister, brother and I have been helping do this thing and it is tomorrow. It has been very hard. Here is an email from my Mom to my sister to give you an idea of what we have been dealing with -
From: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.com] Sent: Sunday, February 03, 2013 12:56 PM To: XXXXXXX Subject:
ill ill NN;R. SND bILLNEMRT, S5
Yes,that is my Mom's email. Any idea of what it says? Nope? Me either. *sigh.
BUT- the party will go on. And we WILL have fun. Because after it is all said and done we love our Mom and Dad and that is really all that a party needs- love.
Yes, she is still "with it" enough to dig her heels in about things or get offended if anyone suggests something she doesnt like! Lucid and rational sometimes, forgetful and obstinate other times! Gotta take it a day at a time and try to have a sense of humor....gotta remember its harder on her than anyone, especially since she knows she's slowly losing her mental faculties. Tough all the way around....thanks for letting me vent...nice to be in contact with others who can relate!
I think these things happen to all of us. My mom plays with her dentures, we make sure she doesn't take them out and lick them (she has done that). We just keep an eye on her when we take her out to eat. She likes to eat out so we do it, but as long as she is not licking them we consider it not so awful.
Just remember it grosses you out, but to them it is considered normal behavior.
TSM, Things do tend to get gross don't they! Sounds like your mom is still with it enough to think everything is good they way it is. Try to go easy on her. She just doesn't get it anymore, but is trying to hang on to the belief that she knows what's best. This is typical behavior and trying to reason with her or push her to do something won't work. Maybe invite her to lunch and make a fuss over her to wear something pretty and say let's shower and wash your hair so we can fix it to look nice. Sometimes we have to use our wits to get things done. One thing I have learned for sure after 5 years is that you can't make them do something they don't want too! Good luck Shirley, FP getting washed like the dogs!!! Can't get that picture out of my head!!! Mame, sounds like the dogs are at least surviving. I have 4 cats and another I took in to Mom's apartment for the winter. I haven't been able to afford to get him tested yet, so he is not allowed near my cats. I'm pretty sure he is fine, but just being cautious. We had one female I took in the first year I was home with Mom.Then about a year and a half later we took in another neighborhood stray. He was about 6 months and we kept him on the back porch for 2 days until we could get him to the vet. He was feral, but I was working on him while he was outside, so he was friendly, but very scared. Took him a while to come out in the open and get used to his sister. that fall we took in 2 more that someone had rescued then put outside when she got pregnant. the big guy was sick and skinny and the little one was okay, just flea ridden. they still enjoy terrorizing my tiny female 2 years later, but she is finally comfortable enough to let them have it if she needs to. they are all a constant source of amusement, comfort and much love! They are the reason we put out so many bird feeders this time of the year. Gives them something to watch when sitting in the windows! How's your mom doing? Why don't you
WHY oh, WHY do they change so much?? My mom refuses to take a bath or shower EVEN if someone helps her...insists that sponge baths are enough even though she spends most of her day gardening in the Texas heat. Constantly has stains on her clothing but wont let me or caregiver go through her closet and launder what needs to be cleaned. Throws morsels of food on the floor for the dog to eat but he doesnt eat it and she steps in it, spreading crumbs, inviting ants. This is so totally NOT the mom I grew up with. Gets offended when caregiver or I try to broach these subjects. Such a fine line to communicate with her...ugh. Ugh.
Hi. This week I had my brother's dog here for an overnight. He is a tiny little carpet sweeper (hubby's discription). Well, my dog is bigish (65lb lab/shepherd mix) and we have had many a dog over cause both sides of the fam are dog lovers. He is well socialized. Usually doens't take any guff but doesn't' fight either. Well, carpet sweeper gives my dog attitude before he walks in the house (I had them greet outside first cause they haven't seen eachother in a long time). My dog just looks at me....like what the?? My dog comes in, doesn't know what to do so he goes in and gets on my sons bed...only coming out at mealtime or when we went out to walk. All this "stuff" was going on on this thread about the same time...I kept up and read it all but stayed away... just like my dog. Am I like my dog? or is he like me? :)
I'm with Deef, Karol. Spit cups are the grossest. Cat I miss your stories about the elk, and quail. What have you been up too? Stormy, what was the MCV on your Dad's CBC results? That can tell you a lot about what is going on. Maybe your sister will admit it is time to put Dad in Assisted living? Wick, I just wanted to say I've been there, with the anger, and wanting to scream. There were times I felt so helpless. I'm sorry about my meltdown. We are all just human. Jen, getting FP in the bath reminds me of bathing my dogs. Love Shirley
Karol, Welcome! Yuck! Chew and spit! Nothing makes me gag worse, except for handling Mom's dentures! At this point in her dementia, she has taken up licking, sucking, and chewing on her fingers. Hate it when she grabs me with her wet hands! Have know a few men who carried spit cups and oh boy, that is one of the all time worst "gross outs" You win the grand prize!!!!!
Cat, I didn't think you were judging me! Sorry if what I wrote sounded that way. Once again reading words instead of hearing them is such a "crap shoot" when it comes to what each one of us takes away from them. It's so hard for those are are very sensitive to everything that is said. I try to read things with a positive note in my head and when something bothers me, I go back and read it again to make sure I have the right take on it. Stormy, everything is cool here. No worries! Sure hope they can find out dad's problem. I can only imagine how he is feeling! My blood count was 19 after a physical when I was in my late 40's and the doctor pulled me off of a stress test 2 minutes in, when he got the results. I nearly passed out because my heart rate shot up to 180 from the exertion. turns out, no major bleeding issue, my body was just not absorbing iron normally. So I took 2 iron tablets every day for the next ten years. Jen, claw marks on toilet paper? Guess that's way better then "skid" marks!!!! I can see Mom on camera and she is awake and holding her breath. Time to roll her over and let her catnap until I have to get her up for daycare. I'm up because gall dang old kitty I took in before X-mas is healthy and happy again and waking me up at 5AM every morning to let him out! I open the door, he sniffs the cold air and turns around and runs right back in the house! Then I can't get back to sleep. Didn't hit the pillow until 12:30, so guess I'll be running on 4 1/2 hours sleep again:(
nope grandpa. I have no idea...like he was using it to help pull himself up...? We have the special chair and hand rails everywhere and he leans his forehead on the cupboard door across from toilet and has smeared the paint off in a foot long patch, very attractive...
Stormy: Nothing is going on between me and Deef except a conversation. We are talking about feelings and how people are impacted. Kind of a natural thing. I went to a very liberal bible study group today. This is what I came away with. It touched my heart. "Truth is not always about pragmatic problem solving and making things work, but about reconciling contradictions."
I feel like I live with contradictions all the time. I want to be the best person possible, but then I feel like I fall short. I guess that is what human is all about.
Hugs to all my imperfect friends (especially me) Cat.
Cat and Deef- is something going on between you two? Did I miss something? I hope both of you have a peaceful night and better tomorrows. Love.... Jen- thanks, sending you hugs.
The last I heard on dad was that they were doing a xray and ct scan of his stomach and that they could not see where he was losing blood from his stomach. They have been doing more blood work, urine and stool sample. I think tomorrow they are going to check for the upper GI and see if something is bleeding there. And sis just texted me and said that he was on his last blood transfusion. I don't know how many they have given him. They said that they didn't see any blood in his stool sample. So I guess maybe we will find out something tomorrow. Love and hugs to all Stormy
Oh, and Deef, I never have had a problem "getting" what the GO thread or any other thread was about. I always got it, but sometimes I was just wrapped up in my self and what I was experiencing. I always wanted to be helpful, but I could never just shut myself down. I admire you in as much as you just keep on track. Good for you and I mean that with all due respect. You get more done in a day than I do in a week.
Deef: I am not judging you, just saying that you keep moving on in a way that leaves me and others speechless. I am, however, saying that others feel too, especially when others don't acknowledge them and that lack of acknowledgment is painful to those who carry similar burdens.
Deef, you are a good woman. I don't think any of us on the GO thread are not good women. We have been through lots of stuff and will continue to do so. Tomorrow is another day and the day after that.
Much is ahead for all of us. Out of this reality and in to the next.
I get so grossed out with my Dad and his dipping. Cannot go anywhere without his spit cup. He has a dip in his mouth at all times and coughs up luggies and spits it in his cup. I get sick thinking about it. He wont bathe. Dip will be running down his chin and all over his shirt and won't change clothes either. I told my kids to just put me in the nursing home if i ever get nasty like him.....
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We get close at times, she has begun to mess with her skirt and top in public. My mom is very anal about where the band of her skirt is and so she lifts her shirt and shows her belly. When we tell her to stop, she says no one can see.
We find that most people around us are willing to look the other way and be nice because of her age. But it makes us laugh, I am sure we will get to a point that we do not take her out either. We have told my mom that time will come, but I think in my mom's mind she isn't going to live that long. My mom is feeling her age, but the doctor's say she is tough, so we will see how it goes.
I have lots of thoughts, but I refuse to say them to even my friends. I think some of the things I think are not nice and most of them are when I am frustrated. So now I just try to keep things in perspective if at all possible. You see on top of mom's Alzheimer's, I have my own challenges with the change of life, so I am sure we are two nutty women, which probably explains why my husband drinks his beer. :-)
I hope you and your husband get a break to eat out once in awhile. We don't get much in terms of date time unless we take mom to church to sit with my sister. Otherwise we are trio deal and I am sure interesting for people watchers.
Thanks for sharing! Glad to know my mom isn't the only one that does these things and she says well I am cleaning them out.
Just tonight at dinner, instead of taking them out she sat there with her fingers in her mouth. I looked at her smiled and said take your finger out. She looked at me and said I don't have a toothpick to clean them.
The worst part is I couldn't help but laugh because it was innocent and logical, it just doesn't look good at a dinner table.
These are the stories that I am putting into a book because I believe we have to have a sense of humor or we will go completely nuts otherwise. Although according to a friend of mine, I was nuts to start with. :-)
You take good care of yourself. We all love you.
Cat
I have been very lucky with my health compared to you. It's different for everyone and I admire you for being so strong after all you have been through. the thing with autoimmune disease is we rarely get colds or flus because the antibodies keep outside diseases at bay. Now if we could just get our own bodies to stop attacking us, we would be doing good! My doctor always tells me I'm the healthiest looking sick person he has in his practice. I always tell him I'm not sure if I should says thanks for the compliment or ask him if he's trying to be funny!
Make sure you rest up as much as you can, but if you are like me, you will bounce back and heal fast!
I remember my grandparents getting milk delivered to the door, in glass bottles with the paper caps, every other day. And right under that cap was an inch or so of cream. meme was use it for tea, or save it to make whipped topping, or let one of us kids drink it. It was so good!
Man, I sure miss all those childhood memories! it was so much simpler back then and so much more fun!
watching Yukon Men and then off to bed. Night everyone!
Cattail, send all the white light u can for I need it big time. It will be bright n early on 27th of Wed at 5:30 am sharp. However, I was told the surgery probable won't start till after 7am. Glad the collar system seems to be working for elks. I bet your scenery area of living just sound lovely with the elks n bull. We had before all this rain, a whole swarm of red Robins around our neighborhood. Maybe thought it was spring with this weird weather. So sorry about your pain n it is hard for me to grieve about something for I am always trying to be the strong person. I think it does sound like the grieving has hit the surface. Not to mention everyone grieves differently. When u have some time to crack that book open, could you let me know what ya think about it. Sending you a little white light your way n prayers helping you with your losses n that includes r animals too.
deefer, you r absolutely right about the, autoimmune disease just suck n some. However, I am blessed to be giving a kidney, so more dialysis n Lupus sle has been in remission even though the Raynaud part in my fingers n toes can get to ya. I understand n it's pretty bad sometimes when u got to out weight the pros' n con's when it comes to meds. I have been taking for yrs now a Low dose of Prednisone n really has helped me with the lupus part. It had gotten down where it would take me a 30minuetes just to from a lying down position in bed to even sit up n much less turn on side of the bed just to get my feet in the position to lift up off the bed. We all know how bad we have to go do that early am emptying the bladder thing. Walking was a whole deal step-by-step. However, its one of those meds you got to outweigh the pro's n cons. As for the anesthesia, I never had a problem but both the anesthesia n pain meds seem to constipate me n I sure don't won't that after the surgery. So, I will try to suck it up as much as possible. I am a pretty tough cookie. Us autoimmune folks has to be or we been gone a long time ago. ; ) Besides, if the good Lord is willing I have a 48 birthday coming up March 1st.
The digital photograph is an awesome idea for I got mine for Christmas gift n I put a lot of Mother Nature stuff on it. Wow, your dad actually process pictures at his house that is amazing memory. My dad use to mild r cow n then scrape the top of the milk to get the cream. Then we would take a canning jar n shake it till it turned into butter. We also made home-made ice-cream with a churn bucket, you bring back some old memories to cherish.
Cat, grieve at your own pace for their is no right or wrong way n cherish the good ones you had with your parents.
I hope everyone can get a restful night sleep n have a great weekend.
Added stuff about family stuff which no longer exists, the big yellow bowl, warm summer nights where we all relaxed ... hand cranked anything - everything back then ...
tell me the difference of Analog & Digital. I'll share a dream when we lost party lines to private lines back in the Ma Bell days.
Anyone else miss those simpler days?
Love digital but miss true photography sans photoshop.
Jen, Very funny!!! I'll send you some wipes. I always have them on hand!
Mishka, how sweet is that! Mo has enough presence of mind to want to throw a party for her husband! Love the e-mail and hope you tracked down all the food and cake orders. If you have any extras, send them our way!
LilDeb, doesn't autoimmune disease just suck! there are so many aspects of it and you never know when another side of the disease will take over another part of your body. I don't know how you can deal with all that and your mil too! I know you have both Raynauds and urticaria like me. I get tested for rheumatoid arthritis and lupus every year and I have had Gerd since I was a teenager. It's no fun when your own body decides to attack itself! try to get some rest before the surgery so you won't be too tired. You don't want to make the recovery any harder. Do you have problems with anesthesia and pain meds? Both make me very ill and I can only take one or two pain pills for the first 2 days, then I have to stop and suck it up on my own. Like cat said, let us know the date and time so we can think good thoughts for you!
Mame,I like your style! How's mom been doing?
Cat, you have a regular zoo going there! Do you take pictures of all the wildlife? I'd be out there every day getting as many as I could! You could edit them and make framed prints to sell. Not many of us is lucky enough to get an opportunity like that. I just love digital photography! Take a bad picture, fix it! Can't fix it? delete it! No film, no developing. Store them on your computer and look at them whenever you want! So fun and easy! Although I do admit to screwing up when it comes to the menu on my camera. I always forget what buttons to push and how to find the flash etc. Miss some good photo ops that way!
My dad belonged to a camera club in town when we were little. He used the four oldest of us 7 as models all the time. It was fun to watch him develop them in the cellar. He used to let us use the wooden tongs to take the finish pictures out of the solution tray, then we would hang them from clips over the bathtub to dry. Now that was real family time! We didn't own a TV until I was 10 years old.
My dad never really cooked a lot, but on Saturday nights he would get out the big yellow Pyrex bowl and the old hand crank style egg beater and whip us up a big old batch of eggnog! He always let each one of us take a turn with the beater and sprinkling a bit of nutmeg. What happened to those days?
Okay, didn't mean to go off on a tangent! Talking about taking pictures just brought up memories I hadn't thought about in years. To bad dad had to die so young, He would have loved to done those those things with his grandchildren and great grandchildren.:(
Okay, can't see through my tears. Later!
I can (hear) the geese coming in for a landing.
Probably more, but I'm done counting.
Cat
Lildeb: I don't know how you do it with everything you have to cope with. I will be keeping you in my prayers for sure!!! Let us know the date and time of your surgery so we can all be sending a little white light your way.
Meanwhile: The elk have been visiting. The bulls usually show up in December and hang out in our area. I haven't seen them today, but they're not far away. About a mile and a half from our house is the highway, just two lanes and it is the only way in and out of our little town. Years back, the city put up warning lights that flash when the elk are close to the highway. Fish and game darted some of the bulls and cows in order to put electronic collars on them. The collars set off the flashing highway lights when the elk are within a mile of the road. There hasn't been an elk vs car incident in years as a result.
There is a group of geese that have been visiting the pond. I'm hoping it is part of the family that had their babies here last year. We'll see if we get babies again this year.
Our bird population is thriving. Quail everywhere along with a vast assortment of other birds. We have two hummingbirds who have stayed through the winter and we keep their feeders full.
Linda: I'm truly sorry for all the sad things happening in your family. You take care of yourself and your hubby.
I check the You thread every once in a while to see how Jam is doing. She seems to be having a very difficult time. Been in the hospital with stomach problems and I believe pneumonia too. She been readmitting due to stomach issues. My heart goes out to her. She is truly grief stricken and clearly suffering. Maybe everyone can say a prayer for her.
I've been struggling along. In and out of the black hole. It's grief, pure and simple. I didn't expect it to be like this, but I think when you start to experience it, it's not just one thing. I never had a chance to grieve my mom. When she passed, I still had my dad and I felt helpless to relieve his grief. Of course, that wasn't my job or within my power, but it broke my heart to know he was so sad and to see his tears. I find I am now missing my dear soul mate (dog), Kate, who passed in 2006, while my mom was undergoing cancer surgery. I miss my sweet Sky, (another dog) who died a couple of weeks before we brought my dad home from rehab to live with us. I guess we often suppress painful things when we have to take care of others. When they are gone, it all makes it's way to the surface, bit by bit.
A friend gave me a book, a birthday gift, on grief. It's called "Unattended Sorrow", by Stephen Levine. I'll give you all a review when I have read it.
Deef, you and I are just fine. In fact, I'm fine with everyone.
Well, I can here the geese coming in for a landing. Love to see them glide into the pond.
Sending love and white light to everyone.
Cattails
Stormy, I hope they are able to find out why your dad having blood in his tube. Keep us posted on he is doing n yourself too. Prayers r sent your way as well. It just seem we all r going through a lot these past few months. Come on spring time!
Bobbie, Well spoken n I too came here all alone n not knowing if their was anyone else in a similar situation that, understood what I was going through day-by-day. This is a great forum that u got started for we all can relate some way or another.
Here goes today but it's not gross just frustration. I had to go pre-registry for my surgery next wk n it took us 3 freaking hrs! Why? Of course, the caregiver-me has to have more than one illness so, as I went to speak with the Nurse for Anesthesia, she had to get a fax from my heart dr that I was okay since last Dec. Of course, she said being my records that were sent from my heart specialist stated that I had congestive heart-failure that I would have to get an x-ray n ekg before I had the surgery with them. Plus, I had to get lab-work. I just got poke 2 days ago for a fasting prograf lab if I only knew that would had been one less poke for they only can do one arm due to my fistula is still n my right arm. I can see why they needed to take precautions. I mean, diabetes type1, post kidney transplant, lupus sle n I guess they keep that congestive heart failure on the books. I do take heart meds but I passed my last Ekg n the stress test so go figure. Anyway, done with all that, the mil did pretty good with all that running around n I treated her to her favorite place, the Waffle House. So, as for now I am still set for the roid surgery. I knew I was a pain in the ass but literally. I am tired, n pain n dizzy n to br honest, I will be glad when this surgery is over!
Everyone don't forget to take time to breath.
That being said (written) - here is MY rant about my Mom- she planned (and I say planned very very very loosely) a surprise party for my Dad who is turning 80. She has dementia. For the last month my sister, brother and I have been trying to hunt down all the stores she called to order food from and all the relatives that sort of got invited on different days. She was bound and determined to have this stupid party though my Dad said "NO PARTY!". So my sister, brother and I have been helping do this thing and it is tomorrow. It has been very hard. Here is an email from my Mom to my sister to give you an idea of what we have been dealing with -
From: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.com]
Sent: Sunday, February 03, 2013 12:56 PM
To: XXXXXXX
Subject:
ill ill NN;R. SND bILLNEMRT, S5
Yes,that is my Mom's email. Any idea of what it says? Nope? Me either. *sigh.
BUT- the party will go on. And we WILL have fun. Because after it is all said and done we love our Mom and Dad and that is really all that a party needs- love.
right?
*sigh
Skid marks are ON the toilet seat deef....I want Clorox Wipes to be my sponsor
Just remember it grosses you out, but to them it is considered normal behavior.
Shirley, FP getting washed like the dogs!!! Can't get that picture out of my head!!!
Mame, sounds like the dogs are at least surviving. I have 4 cats and another I took in to Mom's apartment for the winter. I haven't been able to afford to get him tested yet, so he is not allowed near my cats. I'm pretty sure he is fine, but just being cautious. We had one female I took in the first year I was home with Mom.Then about a year and a half later we took in another neighborhood stray. He was about 6 months and we kept him on the back porch for 2 days until we could get him to the vet. He was feral, but I was working on him while he was outside, so he was friendly, but very scared. Took him a while to come out in the open and get used to his sister. that fall we took in 2 more that someone had rescued then put outside when she got pregnant. the big guy was sick and skinny and the little one was okay, just flea ridden. they still enjoy terrorizing my tiny female 2 years later, but she is finally comfortable enough to let them have it if she needs to. they are all a constant source of amusement, comfort and much love!
They are the reason we put out so many bird feeders this time of the year. Gives them something to watch when sitting in the windows!
How's your mom doing?
Why don't you
Cat I miss your stories about the elk, and quail. What have you been up too?
Stormy, what was the MCV on your Dad's CBC results? That can tell you a lot about what is going on. Maybe your sister will admit it is time to put Dad in Assisted living?
Wick, I just wanted to say I've been there, with the anger, and wanting to scream. There were times I felt so helpless. I'm sorry about my meltdown. We are all just human.
Jen, getting FP in the bath reminds me of bathing my dogs.
Love Shirley
Stormy, everything is cool here. No worries! Sure hope they can find out dad's problem. I can only imagine how he is feeling! My blood count was 19 after a physical when I was in my late 40's and the doctor pulled me off of a stress test 2 minutes in, when he got the results. I nearly passed out because my heart rate shot up to 180 from the exertion. turns out, no major bleeding issue, my body was just not absorbing iron normally. So I took 2 iron tablets every day for the next ten years.
Jen, claw marks on toilet paper? Guess that's way better then "skid" marks!!!!
I can see Mom on camera and she is awake and holding her breath. Time to roll her over and let her catnap until I have to get her up for daycare.
I'm up because gall dang old kitty I took in before X-mas is healthy and happy again and waking me up at 5AM every morning to let him out! I open the door, he sniffs the cold air and turns around and runs right back in the house! Then I can't get back to sleep. Didn't hit the pillow until 12:30, so guess I'll be running on 4 1/2 hours sleep again:(
I feel like I live with contradictions all the time. I want to be the best person possible, but then I feel like I fall short. I guess that is what human is all about.
Hugs to all my imperfect friends (especially me) Cat.
Jen- thanks, sending you hugs.
The last I heard on dad was that they were doing a xray and ct scan of his stomach and that they could not see where he was losing blood from his stomach. They have been doing more blood work, urine and stool sample. I think tomorrow they are going to check for the upper GI and see if something is bleeding there. And sis just texted me and said that he was on his last blood transfusion. I don't know how many they have given him. They said that they didn't see any blood in his stool sample. So I guess maybe we will find out something tomorrow. Love and hugs to all Stormy
Deef, you are a good woman. I don't think any of us on the GO thread are not good women. We have been through lots of stuff and will continue to do so. Tomorrow is another day and the day after that.
Much is ahead for all of us. Out of this reality and in to the next.
Jen: Clawmarks on the TP role?
Cat