Follow
Share
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Everyone be so safe with virus, flu and crud. Grandson was in hospital for pneumonia and rsv for a few days. Son had flu and couldn't even go see hhim in the hospital he was so sick. That coughing will do it every time to the ribs. Trachea gets inflamed and you can't quit. Ugh.... hope florida is the answer. Be safe and take care.
(2)
Report

Agree, ribs and sternum pain from coughing, but better to know than not as the stress would only make it worse! And who needs the stress!
Part of current story set in Fla.
He's not dead yet. Was really sick and mom starting to use the term: "I have power of attorney..." Yes by all means put him on feeding tubes and H2o and lets D R A G this out till Kingdom Come!

Anyhow, beautiful sunshiny, cloudy, sunny, cloudy, sunny day. Spring arriveth, hope everyone is getting some sunshine! Jen
(3)
Report

Woot! Florida!
Driving or flying? I am minutes off of 95….

lovbob
(1)
Report

Boat Angel sounds think they have their hands full. Bobbie - sorry about the chest pains. Your ribs could be sore from coughing, I believe that. Both hubby and I have been sick too with a virus, (tested for the flu, negative) but sooo sick! Sweating, chills, fever. Like it or not, we are off to FL this week and hopefully the sun will help dry this up. Have stayed away from Mom in the NH so she doesn't get this. Enjoy the day, everyone!

xo
-SS
(2)
Report

Hey All,

My mom had a slew of address labels too. Interesting.
AND she was a world class hoarder. It took me over 2 years to sort everything out after she was gone.

Wound up in the ER the other night with chest pains. My heart checked out but still have this tightness. I think it's the cartilage around my ribs. I had that flu where you cough your butt off and I think that may be what it was. Sore!

Life at the marina is chugging along and the Boat Angel has 3 people in his life with Dementia: Step Dad, Mom who appears to be about 2 years behind the step dad and his mom's younger sister who appears to be early early but still is symptomatic.

He tried to get his step dad placed and took him out to check out a spot and while they were gone his mom and her sister got into a huge fight, 'You never loved me…' etc etc and haven't spoken since.

I told him that he should get them both together because demented people don't heal relationships like others and this could become cemented.
He still hasn't since he is still somewhat in denial about Dementia which I can understand since I knew nothing about it all when I arrived on the scene for my mom and had to learn the hard way.

This all happened a week ago and both sisters are acting like 3 year olds with their lips stuck out and arms crossed. Oy!

I can't even imagine what he is experiencing. I only know that I can't do it again.

Hope everyone is doing as well as they can with what they are dealing with.

lovbob
(1)
Report

I had to give up jogging for my health..
My thighs kept rubbing together and
setting my underwear on fire!

What is with the underwear now days?
I think I am just going to give up wearing them for a while.
Hugs to all
luvCuz
(1)
Report

I use address labels when I go to sport shows when they have things the are either giving away etc. Saves on all the writing ya know? At least know I know why my underwear has always been a little big. Never get headaches. Ha Ha Hugs
lovCuz
(0)
Report

CUZ!!!!........WHERE DO YOU GET THESE???!!! :)))) Can't wait to share with the other half. He'll love it.....

What is with all of the ADDRESS LABELS?? My dad (93) has, well, too many. He has 3 things to mail every month. He will never use them! My FIL did the same thing. Just generational I guess. My son will probably shake his head at half the things I will do. Heck, he already does. Can't imagine how many more things I will do to make him roll his eyes. He loves me with all his heart (almost 40 as I do my dad) but it's hard at times to put yourself in your parent's shoes. You have to step back and take a breath instead of making a snap decision instead of rolling your eyes or snapping at them. Good Luck to all of us.....
(3)
Report

Thanks Jessie. He *was* a remarkable man in many ways - and a horrible one in others, but that's neither here nor there now that he's gone.

Hoarding is a terrible disorder - and that's exactly what it is - a disorder. I look at my house right now and think, "Hoarder!!" - but it's not actually hoarding - it's trying to sort things out to sell and give away, working 60+ hours per week and not having time to get to it! I can't wait until I get it all done.
(2)
Report

Susan, your dad was a remarkable man. I would have probably liked him. I wouldn't have wanted to live in that house, though. It would have driven me batty. My mother saved, too. She worked in daycare after the kids got older, so she would save egg cartons, chicken pot pie bowls, bottles, everything! We had that stuff all over the kitchen. I think that job and her dread of housework is what started her hoarding.
(2)
Report

Oh, and I'm still receiving the free address labels with my parents' names on them, even though Dad has been gone over 3 years and Mom is now in a nursing home - I've contacted the company multiple times to stop them, and they assure me they'll stop - but still, they show up at least once a month in the mail. Into the trash they go. Dad had stacks and stacks of them. No one has that much mail that they can ever use all of them!
(2)
Report

My parents were "savers" too - not quite hoaders, because they never really had enough stuff to hoard - but savers, oh yes.

Dad kept every single shred of paper from *everything*, but all neatly organized. All the bills for every month of every year are all clipped together in order by month, with the canceled check or carbon copy of the check attached to each bill, and then the entire year's bills are bundled together in a gallon size ziploc bag and labeled. I inherited over 20 of those bags of paper when I moved in. Expando files full of bills from years before that - about 10 of those. Boxes of paystubs dating back to the 60's - every single paystub he received from his 30+ years in a factory. (Those were actually kind of interesting to look at. He never made more than $8.50 per hour in his entire lifetime and managed to raise a family on that through the 60s and 70s. No wonder we struggled to make it.) I've already burned up one cheap shredder trying to eliminate this stuff - and I'll be shredding til doomsday.

Dad also kept every single bottle, plastic food container and reusable bag - he washed out plastic ziploc bags to re-use them - he even fashioned a wooden drying rack for them! Prescription bottles had the labels removed and were used to hold small screws, tacks or other small items.

When I moved in, I started cleaning things out, because Dad wasn't there to say no, and Mom wanted the stuff gone. I threw out bags and bags of plastic food containers that were so old that they'd become brittle (and thus, unusable!), bags of clothes and shoes from the 1970s that were put in the basement (where they mildewed and smelled horrible, not salvagable), books from the basement as well - same deal - covered in mildew. Paper grocery bags filled with - guess what - more paper grocery bags, folded and packed into the other bags.

The plastic grocery bags filled with other plastic grocery bags? That's me. I save them all because I'm always re-using them for something - cat litter disposal, bathroom trash can liner, etc. But I use them - they don't just accumulate. If I find I have too many, I take them back to the store and recycle them.

I'm still going through things, nearly 3 years later, and slowly getting it all cleaned out or organized so my siblings can take what they want when Mom passes - at least it will be organized and ready at that point.
(2)
Report

Jen - yes generational. I cleaned out my parent's home of 53 years. It took 2 and a half 28ft box trucks to cart away all the stuff! That would be a lot of poop, I must admit. My mother saved everything -every free address label that came in the door, drawers of them. Every pine cone and bow from a Christmas wreath after it died. My father collected (or hoarded) canceled stamps. 110 boxes of them. They tipped over during the move. What a mess. But not poop in a box. Bags, my mother also hoarded bags of bags. When they moved to a place close to me, it started all over again. Definitely think it is a symptom of being a child from the depression. Now in a NH, she has a little bag on the front of her walker. She can't shove enough stuff in there! I have found a dinner knife, bags of artificial sweetener, loose chocolates, a cookie, and a mountain of Kleenex used and unused. oh well, life's simple pleasures I guess!
(1)
Report

Poop in a box, hmn sounds like a good item for the holidays...

Some of the hording with elders will be generational. Depression Generation: Save it up, wear it out, use it up...is modern day take the napkins off the table and pile them up in your wheel chair, don't discard a tissue till it is saturated or actually green, dry toilet paper is clean toilet paper, any item of clothing not actually making crackling noises when put on is clean.

Oh lets just not go there...Jen
(3)
Report

Second Opinion!

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.
'You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need. A new suit.'
He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'
The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, 'Let's see, Size 44 long.'
Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years.'
Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'
Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'
The salesman said, 'Let's see, Size 36.'
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'
The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'
(6)
Report

I'd have turned off the bloody bed and chair monitors if I could reach them. They were part of the whole bed set up and turned on/off by a switch on the wall which naturally I could not reach.
If the call buttons were answered faster there would be no need to set off the alarm but at least that get attention.
Not that I would have got very far trying to escape because I was made to wear a yellow gown and a bright orange wrist band signifying "Fall risk"
I can also attest to the fact that no water laced with thicket would pass my lips.
The old guy might be demented and piece of you know what but i can see his point. Not about the face painting though. It is like being in prison.
You have got that wrong saying do not live longer than your life it should be longer than your brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(2)
Report

Annoyed no,Confused yep! We beg her to call us if she needs help in the night as she is an extreme fall risk. The boxes nope no clue where she got them but I don't go thru every inch of her room, maybe I should. On a good day she can walk with her walker about 10 feet, most of the time she is wheelchair bound... But when she gets a hair.. usually in the middle of the night when everybody is asleep she becomes super grannie..Bed alarms don't work with her, she's spotted the baby monitor had to take that out. * Sigh Honestly seems like a new hoarding behavior, only reason I can think of her hiding it is that we do not let her dig in her butt. Dementia sure likes to play weird jokes on the caregivers.
(2)
Report

Only you can identify the boxes but why is she doing it who knows?
Maybe she has had a few accidents and you were annoyed so she's hiding it.
Like the cat who pees in the litter box but poops beside it. The box is cleaned twice a day, is huge and has no lid. When they moved house this behavior stopped.
(1)
Report

Day 2 of Poo in box in dresser by her bed... How is she getting these boxes and why on earth is she poo'ing in them and hiding them???.. Gonna be another long day.
(3)
Report

...Uber frustrating here. My mom just had to get off the phone with her sister becasue she is so upset she can't talk. Old shit for brains has been IN the nursing home for a year exactly now. And even though his day to day care needs are not ours to meet, nor the smells, he still stinks. He has started turning off the bed and chair monitor getting up and using the toilet even though he needs a Hoya lift to be shifted by aides now, he is refusing water because he won't drink it with Thick It in it, (thickening agent for swallowing difficulties). He came out of the bathroom on his own cover in yes, feces. They had to change him and wash the room down which he found a big pain in the ass. He argued with them about everything, was pissed they tried to tell him he needs to ring for help becasue it is a safety issue. (Where was the alarm in all this? do they know he turns it off, removes it?) Who knows. $12,000 a month can only get you so much. In my mom's case it does not get you, peace of mind, guarantees care and safety (what does), any chance of the removal of guilt for putting Daddy in the god damn nursing home in the first place, a good night sleep, removal of strain and blood pressure rising burdens).
He is miserable, medicine and doctors prolong the misery, we can do nothing about it, he wouldn't, he actively refuses to do ANYTHING that would so much as make his useless moronic day to day life safer and less burdensome for himself and others and it makes my mom cry shut down and mad ALL THE TIME.

Here is the tip to a good life.

Live love laugh play work feel be hope give gain see do hear find make wonder...

AND DO NOT LIVE LONGER THAN YOUR LIFE!!!!!

Jen, so help me God if I had that toothbrush I shove it up his.........
(2)
Report

Oh, and I nearly forgot this... after a week of not bathing, my daughter and I tried to give my mom a shower. When we pulled her pants down she was wearing my father's 'tighty whitey's' and..... they were on backwards! When we told her she said, "there's nothing wrong with this".
(3)
Report

My mother, age 90 with advanced Alzheimer's, came out of the room with all red teeth because she had used her lipstick as toothpaste and brushed her teeth with it.
(3)
Report

Oh, goodness. I do like that stretched out feel of second-day pants. But three weeks is a bit much. :)
(1)
Report

Only sort of gross here. mom used a bungee cord to hitch up her pants because they are so loose from wearing them for 3 straight weeks.
(2)
Report

Oh Cuz.....geez... :))) So sorry about the tragedy. Alcoholism is just another disease and hard to watch or be around. I hope the mother didn't suffer too badly. My gosh, so many terrible things and diseases but I just have to hang on to the belief that there is a reason for them and that God is in charge. I don't understand it but I have to believe it or else there would be nothing to hang on to. Good luck and God Bless everyone.
(1)
Report

Meanwhile Sorry to hear about the loss. You have to wonder what really goes through a person's mind when they do something like that. It is kind of scary.
I wish though I had someone who would send me that kind of money every week. Just think of how many caregivers on the thread I could help with the extra cash and also all of the fishing I could afford to do with the extra cash. I don't come close to makin that kind of money on social security ya think? Hugs your way.
lovCuz
(1)
Report

Oh jeeze Meanwhile.

I am so sorry to hear about your sister's SIL. Awful.
Agreed about the driver that hit her.

Loved that joke Cuz.

Jen! What's the news? Is he still going going going?

Selfish Sib! Everybody!

lovbob
(0)
Report

Oh, that's sooo bad Cuz, but very funny.
My youngest sister's SIL, the one that killed her mother by neglect, killed herself. Not sure if it was accidental or on purpose. She was drunk, and walked out on the interstate, into traffic. I feel worse for the driver of the car that hit her.
(0)
Report

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian church found a pink envelope
containing $1,000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little
old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"

The old lady said, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; What does he do for a living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"

The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."
(4)
Report

hahaha!

You know you got balls…...
(3)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter