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Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing. He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.
Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, she saw a beautiful bathroom faucet.
When the manager was finished Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?" The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.
Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that's an expensive faucet -- certainly out of my price range." She then described the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.
The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom the manager yelled "Ma'am, you wanna screw for the hinge?" Mary shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."
Hey bobbmiester. I liked yer like, Chyu. Is sort of a colloquial I am using in my novel here, kids say it and it means, O.K. yeah, hell yeah, duh, un hu. respectively. Does this mean I will need to explain the word to publishers ? I mean they are really saying this and I am not gonna change it. Jen
Hi all, read often just do not comment much. Mom moved to memory care three months ago and L to assistes living. Same building, different areas. So, me I am trying to figure out where I go from here. Looking for work which is very difficult to stay focused. Even thinking about leaving my home state.
Had to chime in on the shipping discussion. I like the story, funny to think about all those ships blowing up and nobody knowing why. So, I googled it and Snopes knows this story. This is their explanation:
The word s*** entered the modern English language via having been derived from the Old English nouns scite and the Middle Low German schite, both meaning "dung," and the Old English noun scitte, meaning "diarrhea." Our most treasured cuss word has been with us a long time, showing up in written works both as a noun and as a verb as far back as the 14th century.
Scite can trace its roots back to the proto-Germanic root skit-, which brought us the German scheisse, Dutch schijten, Swedish skita, and Danish skide. Skit- comes from the Indo-European root skheid- for "split, divide, separate," thus s*** is distantly related to schism and schist. (If you're wondering what a verb root for the act of separating one thing from another would have to do with excrement, it was in the sense of the body's eliminating its waste — "separating" from it, so to speak. Sort of the opposite of today's "getting one's s*** together.")
Manure... An interesting fact Manure : In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything for export had to be transported by ship. It was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.
It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction ' Stow high in transit ' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this "volatile" cargo and start the production of methane.
Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ', (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.
You probably did not know the true history of this word.
I love that cuz! Will pass on to my friends. :) Jsomebody.....we are in Colorado visiting friends and it's so hazy from your fires you can barely see Rockies. Don't know how you are standing it. I'm so sorry that is happening.
No, he is not dead, but his forth roommate didn't get up today and is making terrible sounds and the smell was like when Grandma died...God he is gonna lose another room mate and this man was in his 50's! Parkinson's. At least his suffering is coming to and end. G goes to "Devotions" most days now, so maybe he knows something, or is just feeling terrified of the here after. Fine, the rest of us are terrified of the here and now, no money, aging health concerns of our own, and the massive, 100 year, wildfires that have socked in Eastern Washington make a pungent, almost constant smoke, making it literally hard to breathe and keep your eyes burning, even in doors! You know, death takes care if it self! What ever comes or doesn't. LIFE is complicated!. The fires are expected to burn into mid NOVEMBER! Glad I don't have asthma or COPD or any lung disorders! People who do are really suffering. Where can you go? It's every where...
Had to post here. Great-aunt Y is a tissue hoarder, which isn't unique, lol. However, she's in the last two or so weeks started a new thing (added to the tissue; why can't it ever just be one thing at a time??!!): she now takes her (thankfully unused) diapers and cuts them up. Some of them are just cut into squares or whatever, but others (don't laugh too hard) are cut into the shapes of butterflies. Yes, she's been obsessed with making butterflies lately. She found one that she'd made several years ago and has been drawing them a billion times in her notebooks and cutting them out, and is now also making them out of her diapers. I just want to say to her, "What are THINKING?" but I know it won't do any good. I find them in her dresser, on her shelf, in the compartments of her recliner. Aaaagh! I know it's not the grossest thing ever, but I mean, what if she starts taking them out of the trashcan and cutting THOSE up? I think I'd have a heart attack. She already cuts up used paper plates and napkins, that could be the next thing. I shrink in horror from the thought!
hi u all . i am doing ok , still a nonsmoker ,, 5 mos , my mil passed away in may something , bil and his gfriend is livin at moms house , not makin any effort to go look for a job .. hubby said he cant throw his brother out in the street . i done tld bil that he is welcome to stay with us but not his gfriend , he said well we are a couple u know . i said ok whatever ```` now its been 3 months and still no jobs , hubby is dealing with his step brother wanting to get moms house on the market etc blah blah blah . ah h*ll whatever ,,, jen - when my mil died i thought of you and wondered if fp is still alive .. finaly here i am and to find that FP IS STILL ALIVE !!! jesus .. i just dont understand but then maybe the lord has his reasons . but i still dont understand anyways , big hugs to u jen . i have been hanging around with my daughters lately , helped one moved into a new log cabin home , awesome !! bobbie - i dont have ur ph number , if u still have mine just text me so i ll have ur number , may hit south one day soon ... love u all xoxox
I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance (pensions). I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license (so far) and my own car. I have ID that gets me into bars and the Beer Store. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne.
It is tough when you realize things take more out of you than you thought. I am now sick as a dog with some throat virus-went to Dr to rule out strep throat. Maybe that garage sale and going through all mom's stuff & doing one last thing for/about her with no help from the sibs is taking it's toll. Maybe it is the let down. Ugh.
Thanks for checking in kuli, nice hearing from you again. We still read every night but haven't had many jokes to post this summer. Hugs your way. luvCuz
Hello to all of you, new and old. SS - I check in now and then, mostly read without writing but, even though my dad passed almost 4 years ago, I can't forget that this site was what kept my sanity when noone else understood what I was going through. I have been pushing my sibs to decide what they want from dad's stuff and have cleaned out quite a bit. Understand that dad and I shared our house so it's not been critical for me to clean it out and put it on the market. But Jim and I are now planning on moving out of state and are working very hard to get it in shape. It's funny cuz my brother, who was non existent for my dad's care, grabbed whatever he could that would remind him of my dad and mom. Too bad he still doesn't get that "things" don't give you peace, time with those you love will. But thanks to Jim, I was able to quit my job and we just returned from spending 3 months abroad - France, Spain and Italy. Now, as I said, we are working on getting my/dad's house on the market and moving to another state. We both plan to get jobs but, for now, are hoping we can find short term contracts until we find somewhere we really like to call home. It's scary but it's exciting all at the same time. Guess this is my boat Bobbie. There is life after caregiving but it takes a long time to recover. I'm glad I could do it for my dad but I also recognize I will never be the same person I was before. I also now have a grandson who will be one year old next week and he has helped me understand how life moves on. I do come back to see how all of you are - Jen, Deef, Bob, Meanwhile, Cuz, etc. - and hope that your struggles, your stresses will end soon so that you can move on with your lives. Bobbie, I feel so bad that you have had so many health issues and truly hope you can start to feel good again. Love you all and will forever be grateful for your support when I felt I had noone else - Kuli
Jen, I would love to read your writing. You have such a talent for it. When you write, I can see what your writing about. Mame, glad the cleaning out your mom's things went well. Bobbi, sorry to hear the cake made you sick. My twin sister can't eat anything with wheat in it, or she gets really sick. Cuz, thanks for the jokes, we all could use a laugh more often. Gave Mom a haircut, and pedicure yesterday.. Asked, my dad if he needed his toenails trimmed. Offered to get the horse nippers, and rasp if needed. He declined for some reason. Actually, he is still trying to be as independent as possible. Not, like mom, who wants to be waited on hand and foot (quite literally).
Hi all! SS sorry about the loss of your dad. It is amazing how the siblings have that "aha" moment...hopefully! I gained a bunch of weight caring for mom too-I blamed her love of cookies and all things sweet-cause what fun is there in eating it alone! Anyway, just not having all that in the house has helped my weight heading in the right direction! Thankfully!
Hubby has been hounding me for 11 years to go through all the boxes I brought from my moms house when we moved her here-and get rid of what we don't want/need. I had all the time in the world when I was home taking care of her-not! haha. Well, it has taken several months-but it is done! I guess that since she has died, I don't feel as guilty getting rid of it all. It probably should not have even come over from her house to begin with-but it did. It was all silly stuff. I actually had an appraiser come in and look it all over to make sure I wasn't selling some very valuable item in a garage sale! There was nothing of great value. Garage sale was yesterday. I could have thrown it all in a dumpster-but I knew there would be things some people would want, use, value-and that was important to me cause I thought that would be important to mom. The rest will go to goodwill/thrifty shopper stores and maybe more people will use mom's old housewares and keepsakes. It is so funny what some people love! I really enjoyed watching the people at my garage sale and what they were drawn to! I got to tell stories of how we used whatever gadget it was while growing up. Or how much mom loved this or that. I was sentimental-but not sad. That makes me smile. I don't want to be sad. She wouldn't want me to be either. I just feel like a little of her will live on in this stuff. May sound silly to some-but to me it is a good feeling. The weather was perfect. Funny thing-I kept planning it-and then the weather would be rainy and I would cancel, or I would decide I wasn't really ready...excuses excuses. It was a lot of work and I am exhausted-but feeling good about it. Very little came back in the house, and today my care is filled with boxes to go to goodwill. Hubby is very happy! Transitions are tough but I think I am doin ok! I wish all the best for you all. Bobbie-I am sorry you couldn't enjoy that sweet as much as you wished. Hope you can find something you enjoy that doesn't keep you up all night! Hello to Deef and Meanwhile and Jen and Glad and Cuz and Pargirl and SS and Leah and Juju and everyone else out there! Hugs! Mame
Hi Selfish Siblings! I have thought of you often and am happy to hear from you! Boy I hear you about not taking care of yourself. That's what almost finished me. I feel better but am struggling with being in the 'real world' and trying to maintain the diet and lifestyle. Not doing too bad but yesterday they had a party down in the clubhouse and brought me cake. I ate it.
Spent most of last night sick from the sugar since I haven't had any since June 21. Have brain fog this morning. Man you have to take all of the crap out of your diet before you can realize what it does to you when you eat it again after so long. arg.
My condolences on the passing of your dad. My congratulations to you for weathering what was and still is a daunting situation. You remembered the Prime Directive: Survive this and Live!
Check your messages on your wall for details of the retreat I attended.
Jen! Hope you are doing ok and hope you are writing. I would love to read some!
DEEF!!
Love to everyone and I hope everybody has a good day.
Cuz.....Just told my husband Elderly couple and How men think. He's still laughing and shaking his head. These are great. Now sending on to friends.....
Wow. I haven't posted on this thread in a few years, I believe! Glad to see some of the peeps I remembered. You all helped me through a very difficult time when I had first taken on caring for both my parents with no sibling support. And I thank you all for that. My Dad passed in November, (if a funeral can be great, his was), and my Mom is now in a NH after several strokes. Now I have to clean out and shut down her apartment. So very final...And I have grown up a bit. I don't really care that my siblings haven't helped with any of this. It's their conscience, not mine. They check in now and then. It took Dad dying for them to realize all we (meaning me, Mom and my own family), have been through. Anyway, I am not taking care of myself, I've gained weight and feel like crap. I need to focus on me but find that very hard. Bobbie, tell me about this retreat. I'm intrigued!
Enjoy the day everyone! It's a beautiful one here on the east coast. xo
Senior thoughts ~Going out is good.. Coming home is better! ~You forget names.... But it's OK because some people forgot they even knew you!!! ~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything like golf. ~The things you used to care to do, you aren't as interested in anymore, but you really do care that you aren't as interested. ~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV 'ON' than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep". ~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.. ~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ??? ~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!! ~What used to be freckles are now liver spots. ~Everybody whispers. ~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.
~~~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!
Stay well, "OLD FRIEND!" Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!! It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN; YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS
An elderly couple,had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
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Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
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APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
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Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing. He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.
Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, she saw a beautiful bathroom faucet.
When the manager was finished Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?"
The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.
Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that's an expensive faucet -- certainly out of my price range." She then described the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.
The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom the manager yelled "Ma'am, you wanna screw for the hinge?" Mary shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."
This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot!
Had to chime in on the shipping discussion. I like the story, funny to think about all those ships blowing up and nobody knowing why. So, I googled it and Snopes knows this story. This is their explanation:
The word s*** entered the modern English language via having been derived from the Old English nouns scite and the Middle Low German schite, both meaning "dung," and the Old English noun scitte, meaning "diarrhea." Our most treasured cuss word has been with us a long time, showing up in written works both as a noun and as a verb as far back as the 14th century.
Scite can trace its roots back to the proto-Germanic root skit-, which brought us the German scheisse, Dutch schijten, Swedish skita, and Danish skide. Skit- comes from the Indo-European root skheid- for "split, divide, separate," thus s*** is distantly related to schism and schist. (If you're wondering what a verb root for the act of separating one thing from another would have to do with excrement, it was in the sense of the body's eliminating its waste — "separating" from it, so to speak. Sort of the opposite of today's "getting one's s*** together.")
I put a 'like' on that and I don't know what it means!
Wazitmean?
lovbob
omg good one. Have often wondered about that one.
Hey everyone!
Jen! Wow! finally got some rain! yay and I hope that the fires will soon go away.
love to all,
lovbob
It was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.
It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier,
but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas.
As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction ' Stow high in transit ' on them,
which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this "volatile"
cargo and start the production of methane.
Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ', (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.
You probably did not know the true history of this word.
Neither did I.
I had always thought it was a golf term.
No, he is not dead, but his forth roommate didn't get up today and is making terrible sounds and the smell was like when Grandma died...God he is gonna lose another room mate and this man was in his 50's! Parkinson's. At least his suffering is coming to and end.
G goes to "Devotions" most days now, so maybe he knows something, or is just feeling terrified of the here after. Fine, the rest of us are terrified of the here and now, no money, aging health concerns of our own, and the massive, 100 year, wildfires that have socked in Eastern Washington make a pungent, almost constant smoke, making it literally hard to breathe and keep your eyes burning, even in doors!
You know, death takes care if it self! What ever comes or doesn't. LIFE is complicated!.
The fires are expected to burn into mid NOVEMBER! Glad I don't have asthma or COPD or any lung disorders! People who do are really suffering. Where can you go? It's every where...
Have a good week and week end everyone...Jen
luvCuz
jen - when my mil died i thought of you and wondered if fp is still alive .. finaly here i am and to find that FP IS STILL ALIVE !!! jesus .. i just dont understand but then maybe the lord has his reasons . but i still dont understand anyways , big hugs to u jen .
i have been hanging around with my daughters lately , helped one moved into a new log cabin home , awesome !!
bobbie - i dont have ur ph number , if u still have mine just text me so i ll have ur number , may hit south one day soon ...
love u all xoxox
GREAT NEWS !!!!! I just figured it out...
I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance (pensions). I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license (so far) and my own car. I have ID that gets me into bars and the Beer Store. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne.
Life is great.
The virus will go away, the siblings?. Not so much.
Have a good week everyone. Jen
lovbob
luvCuz
Mame, glad the cleaning out your mom's things went well.
Bobbi, sorry to hear the cake made you sick. My twin sister can't eat anything with wheat in it, or she gets really sick.
Cuz, thanks for the jokes, we all could use a laugh more often.
Gave Mom a haircut, and pedicure yesterday.. Asked, my dad if he needed his toenails trimmed. Offered to get the horse nippers, and rasp if needed. He declined for some reason. Actually, he is still trying to be as independent as possible. Not, like mom, who wants to be waited on hand and foot (quite literally).
SS sorry about the loss of your dad. It is amazing how the siblings have that "aha" moment...hopefully! I gained a bunch of weight caring for mom too-I blamed her love of cookies and all things sweet-cause what fun is there in eating it alone! Anyway, just not having all that in the house has helped my weight heading in the right direction! Thankfully!
Hubby has been hounding me for 11 years to go through all the boxes I brought from my moms house when we moved her here-and get rid of what we don't want/need. I had all the time in the world when I was home taking care of her-not! haha. Well, it has taken several months-but it is done! I guess that since she has died, I don't feel as guilty getting rid of it all. It probably should not have even come over from her house to begin with-but it did. It was all silly stuff. I actually had an appraiser come in and look it all over to make sure I wasn't selling some very valuable item in a garage sale! There was nothing of great value. Garage sale was yesterday. I could have thrown it all in a dumpster-but I knew there would be things some people would want, use, value-and that was important to me cause I thought that would be important to mom. The rest will go to goodwill/thrifty shopper stores and maybe more people will use mom's old housewares and keepsakes. It is so funny what some people love! I really enjoyed watching the people at my garage sale and what they were drawn to! I got to tell stories of how we used whatever gadget it was while growing up. Or how much mom loved this or that. I was sentimental-but not sad. That makes me smile. I don't want to be sad. She wouldn't want me to be either. I just feel like a little of her will live on in this stuff. May sound silly to some-but to me it is a good feeling.
The weather was perfect. Funny thing-I kept planning it-and then the weather would be rainy and I would cancel, or I would decide I wasn't really ready...excuses excuses. It was a lot of work and I am exhausted-but feeling good about it. Very little came back in the house, and today my care is filled with boxes to go to goodwill. Hubby is very happy!
Transitions are tough but I think I am doin ok! I wish all the best for you all. Bobbie-I am sorry you couldn't enjoy that sweet as much as you wished. Hope you can find something you enjoy that doesn't keep you up all night!
Hello to Deef and Meanwhile and Jen and Glad and Cuz and Pargirl and SS and Leah and Juju and everyone else out there! Hugs! Mame
I have thought of you often and am happy to hear from you!
Boy I hear you about not taking care of yourself. That's what almost finished me.
I feel better but am struggling with being in the 'real world' and trying to maintain the diet and lifestyle.
Not doing too bad but yesterday they had a party down in the clubhouse and brought me cake.
I ate it.
Spent most of last night sick from the sugar since I haven't had any since June 21.
Have brain fog this morning. Man you have to take all of the crap out of your diet before you can realize what it does to you when you eat it again after so long. arg.
My condolences on the passing of your dad. My congratulations to you for weathering what was and still is a daunting situation.
You remembered the Prime Directive:
Survive this and Live!
Check your messages on your wall for details of the retreat I attended.
Jen!
Hope you are doing ok and hope you are writing. I would love to read some!
DEEF!!
Love to everyone and I hope everybody has a good day.
lovbob
It's a shame they'll never meet.
Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're are going to pay.
You have my word.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for fresh prints.
I went to an emotional wedding Saturday.
Even the cake was in tiers.
We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye Matey.
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would
make him run faster.
It just made him sluggish.
How do you think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg.
Enjoy the day everyone! It's a beautiful one here on the east coast.
xo
~SS
~Going out is good.. Coming home is better!
~You forget names.... But it's OK because some people forgot they even knew you!!!
~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything like golf.
~The things you used to care to do, you aren't as interested in anymore, but you really do care that you aren't as interested.
~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV 'ON' than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..
~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ???
~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Everybody whispers.
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.
~~~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!
Stay well, "OLD FRIEND!" Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!! It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN; YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS
An elderly couple,had just learned how to send
text messages on their cell
phones. The wife was a
romantic type and the husband was more of a
no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her
husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me
your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your
smile. If you are eating, send
me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a
sip. If you are crying, send me
your tears. I love you."
The husband
texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet.
Please advise."