Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
BTW bobbie yes kickstart or go fund me was the plan until iti went awry but nobody is going to tell meto calm down until I protect my investment which I have done now...so yes all I need is a ticket and thanks for the advice and support!!! but you are not me and don't live my life....so please be considerate. I have dreamed of this since I was 20! I am now at peace and therefore instantly see a reflection in my mom....This is how it should be, me to afford to pay someone to do the dirty sh*t.....I will not spoil one more day in negativity, I do not have to or wish to! GOod lcuk crew , l see you all later maybe after the cruise! call me bobbie!
Bobbie have they given you any gabapentin for your shingles pain. It is for seizures but used off label for nerve pain. It does make you very sleepy so I never took enough to really make a difference but it might be worth a try. If plain Tylenol work for you don't take anything stronger. Tylenol never did anything for me for bad pain but now I am ancient they knock me stupid. good luck with the stand up although you may have to do it braless!!!!!!
Juju calm down you are going to blow a gasket. Sorry no cruise for me I get sick just watching waves on TV. I once sailed from England to Norway in Winter to go ski ing in rough seas. I spent most of the vacation in bed recovering. never did get warm.
unless the boss lady convinces them tomorrow then I will at least promote it and see where it goes after I lay on the beach for a week or two!! llolllll
yes I am done, it is out of my hands but it was a good trial run, I needed a cause to work toward and Brittany just sparked an idea to get me motivated. I never want to keep mom around longer than it is comfortable and I was so low I didn't realize I have that option to make that choice here in Oregon and it relieved so much stress,,,,then I looked at real estate and found if I could sell I can live in Hawaii mortage free...my only issue with this job, not having a home....if I never do a cruise again it be fine I mean after mom but now just seems easy to me....and why not better than the pity pot and can take some people with...maybe....this is me first from now on...I just needed to know I could do it and learned my mistakes... and try one more for mothers day to see if it as difficult and if so, I;dd rather find that particular harbor and scuba!! no stress there,,,,,it is over!! I found hazel too on the northshore!!!! I cant wait to get to see my new place...I don't even need to sell the old to move I culd go as soon as escrow closes then clear out, set up house/stage it with no animals and ma making messes and lay on a beach while it sells!!!! then take a big break before doing anything else just think,,,,for a while
I have been sick as a dog… read your posts but didn't have the snap to think, much less write. Turns out that Shingles is pretty painful (you got it Veronica… mine is right in the same spot as yours were) so I got some pain meds and took one 2 days ago. It was Oxysomething. Don't think it was oxycontin but was oxycodone or something. Well. I couldn't move. Couldn't talk. Could grunt. Was awful. Thank God the Boat Angel is back and he talked me through it. Was so sick to my stomach and not at all out of pain, but had titty nerve pain in addition to sick stomach and blah blah blah, you guys get it. OY!
Anyway, it eventually wore off and now I have a fat Tylenol going and that is doing just fine. I suck at being a pill head. I honestly don't know how people can take those things. Thought I would be out of pain and have a nice buzz and maybe doze off, not be in fear for my life and wondering when I would stop breathing. Jeeze.
OK, Juju! So sorry I haven't been able to write. Been stupid but now not smarter, just less stupid.
I can't go on the Cruise because, miracle of miracles, I have been booked as a stand up through that time. We confirmed about a month ago and I have been worried that I would be too sick with everything that has happened. All time between then and now I have to work on being able to deliver an hour and a half, since I am headlining and haven't worked in a long time and don't want to suck. An hour and a half is a long time to suck if you don't have your act together.
Personally, I think what you are doing Juju is a great idea and I hope beyond hope that you get some support in the form of others who may be able to sign up for a trip! I know that you want to be able to provide caregivers with respite and I know that you know how many issues are involved in just being able to do that simple thing.
Is there any way to get the word out on that trip to a wider audience? Caregivers who are no longer in the trenches and maybe could afford to go? Don't even know where to start on that one…
Have you thought about kickstarter? Maybe there's a way to go with crowd sourcing.
I know I'm not much help and I wish I had the wherewithal to wave a wand but I don't. Wah.
Try not to be discouraged. AND… you have hit the last 2 Boat Times with the 29,600th and 29,700th posts! That's a great sign!
OK, I hope everyone is doing as well as they can with what they have to deal with. Thanks everyone for being here and I hope to read from all who have the energy to post.. Mame! Deef! Kuli! Austin! SharynMarie! Susan! Meanwhile! Veronica! Jen! Cuz!!! Who did I miss? Can't think! Post and chew me out!
OK Juju, try and get some rest and calm your mind. You are overwrought with all of this because you have been working so hard and trying to be all things to everyone. We love you and hope that all things work out!
I can do one more thing when I am healthy and rested is we will be on their doorstep they cant ignore that! as soon as safe to travel I been wanting to get to Ptown anyway before I leave only went once quickly thru, and I need to do few things anyway up there! oh ya the new boss lady is there too! and I want to see Astoria!! ever since I saw 8 below the week I decided to move north...I have wanted to see that!!
and that's why it hurt me personally, you can mess with me, I can take it, but don't mess with my momma and her future care, d*mn hillbillies!!! Your gonna hear me roar!
crap I am so tired I am trying to do a paragraph and keep hitting enter....ANYWAY OK BOBBIE I MIGHT NEED YOU TO COME GET ME OUTTA HERE FOR REAL,,,,LOL MAYBE, no mom would not survive that or I for that matter I love water but get so seasick on boats.. k goodnite crew!
so ya now I have to pay triple and take mom with no assistance if I am to stay on schedule.....tomorrow if the boat has some activity maybe I can relax and get the rest back on track.
ok one more I have to get her to Hawaii, I found my second mom over there and she is ready for us and a "sista" for sure! I would be heartbroken if the event happened before I got her out of this shithole of a town. so my fear of the real estate deal falling thru will not cease our project I can stay with friend. it just is meant to be.....get me outta this (in the words of capn wild bill) mut*ha fu*kin town and fast,....oh ya I lost my air to go sign contracts while cleaning up my rookie mistake of impulse but it was exactly what I wanted when I wanted it so WTF I was refreshed real fast how people are with their money...we used to not even talk to the agents inside 10 days less they had credit card in hand cuz usually falls apart, anyway...I learned and the next one for mothers day will be smmmmoooootttthhhhhh sailing! I got to give ma a reason to stay on the job! she lit up like a Christmas tree....when I told her my plans!!!
and I just have to say the friend scenario is why I laffed so hard when I heard it from the other capn early on...d*mn skip tooth inbred could wrap her mind around this making her some money...and us....she claims she was doing me a favor and has been abused...oh ya when I nearly strangled her but otherwise I offered her a share in my new house just for doing it....skip tooth inbred indeed! and full circle I can put that to rest!!
I was trying for a lot more as my choice charity expires very soon..... Death by dignity I want to name one of my projects Brittany's boats and/or bungalows and maybe get our "sistahood of the travelling panties" some air time in her brave honor but I am just done!!! dedicate my project to her and my momma on this cruz but I just cant do no more...mamma needs me now, I just cant get info on how to respectfully make this requests somewhere here near Portland is why I was trying to get all this done and my "friend" rolls the bolling ball that knocks me down.... I just cant do no more and those who stand by and let it happen are just as guilty we need to make a difference! I am going to bed and snuggle my momma I can exhale and go on my cruise with a clear conscous and if mom left me tomoro I knw I can make a difference! GOODNITE BOATMATES, I LOVE YOU!
my rambling point is over the course of two days I could not find one soul to tell me what to do to donate this item....omg.....they are not getting my money ever again!! I know who is if she will let me do it!!! anyway rest hopeful today!! finally cleared up this mess think anyway.....just need one more issue done and all is good for a while!!
exactly veronica, you hit it on the head, she just kept saying I am trying to help you...I had to shut her dowm....point blank....said no mam you are wrong I am trying to help you and it has created havoc in my life unfortunately and I cannot get a soul to put someone on the phone to spend a few minutes advising me how to proceed! I am livid and done, beat down and sick....you guys have never done a thing but call me like a robot to your events and$$ I do the walk and support you and every time like you don't even remember ask what I need....RESPITE...so since you don't get It I was trying to help you and get what I need for once....but I am done, don't need you never did and wont share my hard work with you! goodday! so I am on my own but on the right path....everything happens for a reason I guess..woke up today with that reason....it is hard to see it sometimes with something so important/emotional with a new plan and will be ok and even better probably!! I am beat to hell and have no voice or energy at all , my caregiver is coming over extra day I had to call her! gotta go
Juju it may be a case of volunteers with the attitude that they are doing you a favor by talking to you. One of out thrift shops has helpers like that . they sit for their 3 hours and gossip and when you come to pay they tell you how lucky you are to be able to buy their cast offs. sometimes even hold up the garment and tell you where it came from( One of the best homes on the high street) of course
also am very disappointed in the ALZ assn....they were less than helpful! I don't think I can support them anymore. wow... Pollyanna crashes to earth, even ALZ is so tied up in ??? BS they are not efficient!! I do declare it is interesting they can have someone calling me back in 3 min on a Saturday after I made it clear I had had enough ?? but not when I calmly explained nothing happens....well it is too late, I am done with them! never helped me a bit and I have them plenty...I could not even get a person to talk to about doing more....omg...come on Hawaii!!!!!
When I had enough, they were rude unhelpful and condescending so I had it... with fakes all around and they
well over the that last friend thing..and moved on, no sense in dwelling, as sed expected but still stings... all is good tho I didn't get what I wanted but I got what I needed, and there is a next time....
I am working on not being negative but this is one of those things that just hurts so bad.....I want to literally skin this woman alive.....for hurting us like that...I don't want to feel this way but how do you not......when you know it is purposeful... I am now starting a journal of this journey a lesson in social experiments.... You can mess with me all you want but don't mess with my mamma.....I am like a lioness protecting her cub! I don't know why It took me 51 yrs to get life but it did and people are awful for no reason. sucks...but I finally just past month learned to let go of it an move on ....this one as so personal will take a bit but I will get there!
Man some eerrryyy stuff going on along with the wonderful!! I am officially a travel agent again now, was no where in the plan few days ago but it became painfully apparent I needed to do this, and called my old boss...hour later I am employed!!! and can totally do this from moms side!!
now the bitch....I cant wait to GTF outta this hicktown....omg I could have strangled one of those "friends" of mine....who basically ruined a huge part of my plans this week.... I have lost my patients for this type of behavior. I am livid but over It but will not let the haters stop my goals!!! I may have wasted precious time but I can sleep good at night! The big hurt for me is she new what she was doing I even knew she would do it, I was hopeful as usual, and wanted this goal so bad I whored myself, lol, into believing it would be positive hahaha Anyway so I got some income in the works is Fridays miracle of faith!!! and that is all folks, peace, juju
god give me the strength to have learned from that lesson
Bobbie Got Aunt Hank in a rehab center so she can gain some strength back before heading back to sisters house. They are thinking around 2 weeks. She says she's ready to go home now but that is just her stubbornness talking. I used to like shit on the shingles but not if they eat boobs that is bad. So sorry to hear what you have been dealing with. Hugs your way OK? Welcome to all the new people. Hugs to all luvCuz
Oh Bobbie I feel your pain. I had Shingles four years ago and still have pain under my right boob. I could not bear the feel of a bra for months. Hope you get better fast.
Welcome Michelle. This is a safe place to share pretty much anything and if you don't want the whole forum to see something you have the ability to send a private message to someone you think may be able to help. Someone will have an answer for you. You may even get to laugh at times!
Hi Mitchell and welcome to the Aging Care site and the Grossed Out thread!
Blessing my a$$! Hope that you have some more tools to cope with your situation. It's a mess to be sure.
Hi there TerryJack! Welcome to the GO thread as well. Good advice. Are you still an active caregiver? My mom died in May of 2010 but I continue to post on this site because of the amazing caregivers who are still in the trenches and because of the support I recieved when I needed it the most.
I have been ill and haven't been able to post as often as I did before but these folks are never far from my thoughts.
Mitchell, I hope you'll share some of your story with us and use this as a good place to vent it out.
So welcome again to the Grossed Out thread, the Home of Vent and Live!
Terry and Mit welcome aboard you have come to the right place-AC popped up on my computer 6 years ago and saved my sanity caring for my late husband and after he died 5 yrs ago I stayed because I had formed so many friendships here and had much unwanted experience to share.
Sounds like mom has dementia or confusion related to a stroke etc. I'd keep my toothbrush where mom doesn't have access to it. Call your local Area Agency on Aging or Bureau of Senior Services and ask about programs that could help you with your mom and ask about caregiver services for you, esp. caregiver support. You can also contact your local Alzheimer's Association chapter for help with behaviors and how you can manage and redirect. Good luck. It's not easy, I went through this with my grandmother so I know how difficult it can be.
Oh my gosh. this is great. someone from my work that knows what im going through and have lost along the way sent me the link to this site. I hate that there are people out there going through what I am, but its nice to know that I am not alone. despite of the situation costing me a marriage and my last 3 girlfriends. But hey, Its a blessing right? You are all good people. ~Mitchell
a whirlwind two weeks that changed my life prospects, and I go to sit down n RELAX Finally 2am and Grim reaper visions cloud my head...took what should have been accomplishment and turned it into an end to the madness!! whoa...another vision of an empty room, where all these blessings plaved before me to prepare me for something comimg.....she is definitely lil different both good n bad ways.......anyway I am very proud of what I am trying to accomplish deeo down its a reality check....
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Juju calm down you are going to blow a gasket. Sorry no cruise for me I get sick just watching waves on TV. I once sailed from England to Norway in Winter to go ski ing in rough seas. I spent most of the vacation in bed recovering. never did get warm.
I cant wait to get to see my new place...I don't even need to sell the old to move I culd go as soon as escrow closes then clear out, set up house/stage it with no animals and ma making messes and lay on a beach while it sells!!!! then take a big break before doing anything else just think,,,,for a while
I have been sick as a dog… read your posts but didn't have the snap to think, much less write.
Turns out that Shingles is pretty painful (you got it Veronica… mine is right in the same spot as yours were) so I got some pain meds and took one 2 days ago.
It was Oxysomething. Don't think it was oxycontin but was oxycodone or something.
Well.
I couldn't move. Couldn't talk. Could grunt. Was awful.
Thank God the Boat Angel is back and he talked me through it.
Was so sick to my stomach and not at all out of pain, but had titty nerve pain in addition to sick stomach and blah blah blah, you guys get it.
OY!
Anyway, it eventually wore off and now I have a fat Tylenol going and that is doing just fine. I suck at being a pill head. I honestly don't know how people can take those things. Thought I would be out of pain and have a nice buzz and maybe doze off, not be in fear for my life and wondering when I would stop breathing.
Jeeze.
OK, Juju! So sorry I haven't been able to write. Been stupid but now not smarter, just less stupid.
I can't go on the Cruise because, miracle of miracles, I have been booked as a stand up through that time. We confirmed about a month ago and I have been worried that I would be too sick with everything that has happened.
All time between then and now I have to work on being able to deliver an hour and a half, since I am headlining and haven't worked in a long time and don't want to suck.
An hour and a half is a long time to suck if you don't have your act together.
Personally, I think what you are doing Juju is a great idea and I hope beyond hope that you get some support in the form of others who may be able to sign up for a trip!
I know that you want to be able to provide caregivers with respite and I know that you know how many issues are involved in just being able to do that simple thing.
Is there any way to get the word out on that trip to a wider audience?
Caregivers who are no longer in the trenches and maybe could afford to go?
Don't even know where to start on that one…
Have you thought about kickstarter?
Maybe there's a way to go with crowd sourcing.
I know I'm not much help and I wish I had the wherewithal to wave a wand but I don't. Wah.
Try not to be discouraged.
AND… you have hit the last 2 Boat Times with the 29,600th and 29,700th posts!
That's a great sign!
OK, I hope everyone is doing as well as they can with what they have to deal with.
Thanks everyone for being here and I hope to read from all who have the energy to post..
Mame! Deef! Kuli! Austin! SharynMarie! Susan! Meanwhile! Veronica!
Jen! Cuz!!! Who did I miss? Can't think! Post and chew me out!
OK Juju, try and get some rest and calm your mind. You are overwrought with all of this because you have been working so hard and trying to be all things to everyone.
We love you and hope that all things work out!
lovbob
and full circle I can put that to rest!!
I am going to bed and snuggle my momma I can exhale and go on my cruise with a clear conscous and if mom left me tomoro I knw I can make a difference!
GOODNITE BOATMATES, I LOVE YOU!
One of out thrift shops has helpers like that . they sit for their 3 hours and gossip and when you come to pay they tell you how lucky you are to be able to buy their cast offs. sometimes even hold up the garment and tell you where it came from( One of the best homes on the high street) of course
When I had enough, they were rude unhelpful and condescending so I had it... with fakes all around and they
You can mess with me all you want but don't mess with my mamma.....I am like a lioness protecting her cub! I don't know why It took me 51 yrs to get life but it did and people are awful for no reason. sucks...but I finally just past month learned to let go of it an move on ....this one as so personal will take a bit but I will get there!
I am officially a travel agent again now, was no where in the plan few days ago but it became painfully apparent I needed to do this, and called my old boss...hour later I am employed!!! and can totally do this from moms side!!
now the bitch....I cant wait to GTF outta this hicktown....omg I could have strangled one of those "friends" of mine....who basically ruined a huge part of my plans this week.... I have lost my patients for this type of behavior. I am livid but over It but will not let the haters stop my goals!!!
I may have wasted precious time but I can sleep good at night! The big hurt for me is she new what she was doing I even knew she would do it, I was hopeful as usual, and wanted this goal so bad I whored myself, lol, into believing it would be positive hahaha
Anyway so I got some income in the works is Fridays miracle of faith!!!
and that is all folks,
peace,
juju
god give me the strength to have learned from that lesson
Welcome to all the new people.
Hugs to all
luvCuz
Blessing my a$$! Hope that you have some more tools to cope with your situation. It's a mess to be sure.
Hi there TerryJack! Welcome to the GO thread as well. Good advice. Are you still an active caregiver?
My mom died in May of 2010 but I continue to post on this site because of the amazing caregivers who are still in the trenches and because of the support I recieved when I needed it the most.
I have been ill and haven't been able to post as often as I did before but these folks are never far from my thoughts.
Mitchell, I hope you'll share some of your story with us and use this as a good place to vent it out.
So welcome again to the Grossed Out thread, the Home of Vent and Live!
lovbob
p.s. The Shingles are eating my left boob…. OW!!
whoa...another vision of an empty room, where all these blessings plaved before me to prepare me for something comimg.....she is definitely lil different both good n bad ways.......anyway I am very proud of what I am trying to accomplish deeo down its a reality check....