Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
As if leaving spit in tissues, napkins, whatever she can find laying around the house. Spitting on sidewalks, etc. Now she spits in her water glass. Time for a spitoon to fasten around her neck! YUCK!!
Just a good morning today! Hello to all of you! Bobbie hope you are on the mend, miss you! Mame, Deef, Meanwhile, Cuz - shout out! Hang in there everyone! Peace,Juju
My BFF had her Gma in law with her for a bit and she sed they would find Gma naked and smeared poop everywhere in the mornings…as bad as all over her mouth, sed she was eating it, OMG (I wonder if she just got an itch or something with her filthy hands cause smearing is one thing but actually eating I just can’t even comprehend! That is where I say I would have lost it….i can tolerate a lot but that would have put me over the edge….she never even would or could deal with the excrement, her husband did it all, impressed! Ya especially with the Parkinson's limiting his ability, further, to be him! I can’t imagine the complication, fear and anxiety that added to the mix!!! And from what I hear he was selfless and just maybe did not want to be a burden or object of pity, idk..... Agreed wish he could have worked thru this new challenge, but I understand where he was emotionally!!! I also am limited to TV as mom likes it on, though most of the time she is not even watching it…just the occasional glance now and then, love it tho as I mentioned before sometimes I do catch her cracking up to something she saw. So with dvr I can rewind it and play it again for us, I love those moments….i did notice she pays more attention to animated stuff. But it is not due to vision issues, she reads me captions she sees, some I can barely read! Just easier to figure out I guess, that regression:(! I know what you mean about the connection comedy and pain…..I go to that immediately, when something gets to me, I make a joke about it…but I am not blessed with the comedy gene unfortunately for those around me!! Well got them to deliver my drywall at a discount by just calling an asking the normal fee of 80 seemed so high so I called and asked lowes I have spent so much money hear last 6 mos’ can you help me with this fee ? so they gave me half off…which by time I pay kid to unload, and hooking up trailer, gas to town, having to get ma up to go with me to , no caregiver day, etc..….. Well we were putting in garage and thank goodness I noticed they brought the wrong kind…I needed “greenboard” Mold and moisture resistant for bath! Now I feel bad cause they have to make two trips down here, oh well, I am just glad I noticed it before they left/or I started using it. They are supposed to be bringing the right stuff today! So I better go find my phone see if they called and get my day started! been loafing this morning, eyes are so tired!
Finger on wall... hand on towel.... artist in his nineties...the finger strokes show a boldness and almost viscous quality of display and emotion....
mmm yes, poop, the new art medium.
hey juju, Know what you mean about Robin. loved him since I was 8...Was a total blow. I know there is a lot of pain behind comedy, throw in addiction, fear of a disease that will try to rob you of dignity then kill you and just the fact of the miseries of aging....It still shocked me, but I can understand the pain and the just not wanting to let it drag out any longer...Wish he could have gotten help though...Truly irreplaceable...
errands today, least the artist as a pest is not here till 3 PM today....
i am reading the eating thing to my husband we r cracking up mom does that ...here eat this thing too and btw i do know where those fingers have been. yuck
Got our first good rain Wednes as predicted, boy we needed it...there were way to many fires really close to home this year! fortunately the close ones were found and put down quick, I guess that is what makes the others so bad they are farther out where not noticed till out of control, not sure anyway! wanted to add to my comment above something I forgot to put...Pessimist, that word touches a nerve... one can be a pessimist, and one can be truly depressed which results in a pessimistic attitude.... but those who think you can snap out of it, call it being a pessimist! Anyway been having a little trouble sleeping this week, now a headache last couple days and eyes just burn like they are tired, hard to keep em open! hope this passes soon! Have the best day possible!!! Peace Juju
Craziness eh, cuz! There was one antibiotic home health told me about, I can find it somewhere written down if anyone wants, but when I asked her GP, they said they don't want to prescribe, that she will end up building a tolerance to it....and wont work after while...idk....I don't trust much of what her doc's say anymore!
Trying to check in daily for a while to just get back in the groove of this site! I had been thinking a lot about you'all past few months. Remembering Jen was doing some writing while back and bobbie you had some comedy you were doing. Just curious about it, Hoping you are getting to do more of the stuff you like to do! Speaking of comedy, and this darn depression we were speaking of....the suicide of such a comedic genius as Robin Williams really shook me to the core! At least until the news of the Parkinson's came out....then it all made sense to me. initially the thoughts were wow....if the funniest man alive couldn't cope (with the resources he could afford for help) ...heaven help us all !!! I was extremely saddened by the loss, one of my very favorites and such a genuinely kind man per the media reports! anyway one thing reading thru some of the public feedback on social media, some were just awful condemning and some were so empathetic and understanding. there was such a flood of discussion everywhere i hope at very least, it will help change things a bit with how this disease is perceived and treated!
I get out of my own head by watching TV, I would prefer to read or bead but time consuming and my comprehension is next to nil most of the time. Mainly I can multi task with TV ( soon will find my speakers and do some music too) glad The Voice is back i love that one!
Anyway. Comedy has been my therapy lately. Watch Jimmy Fallon, every day, I just added Ellen...I forgot she was on, and think she is so funny Chelsea Lately when it was on!!! I tape them So I get my little laff every day from somewhere….Monday night Tonite Show was a bit that kinda relates to the topic of depression and just what i needed make me laugh at myself. See if it translates.... “There is a new study out that says dogs can be pessimist just as humans”. They cut to graphics…. Snoopy captioned "“My owner is a depressed bald child who cant play sports, and my best friend is a bird, a freaking BIRD! Does anyone have any Klonipin” Next it is Toto “Spoiler Alert: There is no Wizard of Oz. It’s just a middle aged man behind a curtain. And on top of that, the whole thing is a dream. Magic does not exist” Lastly it is Murray from Mad About You “Show business is all just a big joke. It’s so fake and phony. Wanna guess the last time I heard from Paul Reiser? The last day we taped ‘Mad About You’. Stay in touch my a**”
Sound just like me, good grief!
Well the eyes are closing, time to go.............stay tuff! peace, Juju
Love Fall. have heard there is a full time anti biotic for just that thing juju....see how long till he is on it. God knows she can't Make him drink enough water to flush it out, and good luck getting him out of his soiled Depends.
Mom's home health nurse told me it is going to be inevitable in the diapered patient Jen, esp female let's hope she knows she doing the best she can with the challenges of keeping him cleaned up! Hope you all enjoyed the first day of fall !!!
Thank you juju and cuz...still hanging in there. got the florescent light cover back on old light in kitchen, done all the painting on to hardware back on stage. I tried bleaching the "plastic diffuser" for a week....not gonna cut it, so i spray painted it and used nail polish remover to make little "cut outs" so more light would come through...looks better than it did...Mom was po'd all day today, I just did what I had to and stayed away from her. I imagine it is the stress piling up, another UTI...I hope to God she is not blaming herself for it...She does EVERYTHING short of changing his diapers FOR HIM! CLEO got all clear at Vet, and they gave the all clear once she was no longer on the premises...Dangerous wild cat! All 8 pounds of her... Went out and caught a grasshopper and carried it in to show mom, I see no reason not to. Let him go back where he was. An I think I heard someones rooster crow just now! crazy! Better than screamin' neigh-bores though...Another week.... Stay sane where ever you are! Jen
I meant to add as well I have thought that too, Jen, right after lucky bastard, comes I wonder what it was, what was there situation/state of mind...that straw that broke the camel's back. Anyway......... Decided to change the profile pic from momma’s face…..was pondering that that might also be something bothering me…..i love my momma and want to show her sweet face but it I came to feel that everything I do is all about her, I needed to separate myself from her just a bit, kinda petty but ..... and I see her everyday all day, when I get on here I want to see something that takes me away from her, mentally for a moment! So I chose a snapshot I took at the vet’s office of that cute li'l patient they had on display. It seemed relevant to caregiving in the hospital gown and all, hehehhee but mostly It just puts a smile on my face!!! Have a good day all!!! Peace, Juju
Jen....Now I have more time to process your observation about your mother oh my I cant imagine the waive of anxiety that would bring on! praying karma helps FP find his way.... man o man how can it just keep coming like that, you will be ok, it will work itself out somehow, someway! Repeat that montra!
I know what you mean by "well there out of it" that's how I feel about my lucky bastard" thought....it's like thank goodness that person has found their peace and is not suffering anymore, just as in cancer patient. but with the cancer you know what that straw was that broke the camels back!! The way I see it there is only 3 options get lucky and find what works to get better or the one we speak of today and the 3rd live in a mental purgatory which s just as debilitating but unlike the cancer, is invisible as in that quote! Anyway, I love it, I love it, you just ain't done kicking doo doo up yet! I think I am really emotional today I realized whe are approaching the 10th anniversary of bringing mom home with me. it was a few days before her birthday as I remember throwing a bbq for her to introduce her to my friends and neighbors after we had a few days to settle in. 87th Bday is Sunday, then my 51st is 3 days later....that is going to be so much easier than 50, last year!!!I
Jen a good friend of the wife has been dealing with her mother who, has Alzheimer's. She had her at her house for almost four years. She finally put her in an assisted living place. She thought now I can get my life back. Not. Her husband who is a Vietnam vet ( special forces ). He had been in contact with agent orange there in Vietnam and has had all kinds of stomach surgeries and is on disability just had a mini stroke. He doesn't sleep at night because of what he went through in nam so he sleeps during the day, if he can. Now he is partially paralyzed on his left side. Cindy doesn't know what is going to happen now because she has to start the caregiving cycle all over again. The wife takes her to McDonald's just so she can get out of the house for an hour or so. Her husband thinks she is stepping out on him and calls her phone every five minutes just to, see what she is doing. She has already told the wife she wants to take her own life just to end what she is going through. None of her sisters will help because they can't stand Greg. Its hard to read what goes on with you gals. Now I see it first hand with what Cindy is dealing with. I try to help her out with stuff she needs done but Greg says I'm there just to get in Cindy's pants. I had him up against the wall with his feet off the ground and told him if he says that again he won't get up off the floor the next time. I am 65 yrs old and have been married for 45 yrs and don't have to be accused of this crap. He sat there for a minute or two before he apologized. Jen I wish you could do the same. I just can't imagine the h*ll you have been going through. I hate when people take advantage of someone that tries to help. Hang in there ok? There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Time will get you there not actions. Hugs your way and may you have a little peace from someone who cares about you. LuvCuz.
Agreed. My life is MY responsibility but it is also MY experience and like the saying "Don't judge someone till you have walked in their shoes..." People who have never had Depression have no idea how debilitating it is. I see suicide reports and wonder what was the final thing that pushed them to the decision and would it push me too...I also think, well, they are well out of it...but too many people'd be happy I was dead, I am not done being an annoyance just yet...No one knows what another is dealing with in life, and many people, don't want to...You sort of sound people out and can tell if they understand or are supportive, or if they are the get over yourself types who run you down in hopes of building you up...I don't need that. I try and stay positive in areas where I can, you wouldn't know it here really. But if I had no hope, I'd never be here at all...
Just looked over at feed....trouble taking day as they come...mother (98)...Oh God, let him die before we do! PLEASE! He went to dr today, mom took him in, apparently he has.....yes, another UTI. Shocking...He is taking to cutting his fingernails to the quick because he keeps getting poop under his nails and rather than WASH HIS HANDS, he is trying to eliminate the more obvious locations where feces can get caught...God just end it! Jen
Jen - Omg yes what a looming thought,!!! Keep an eye on your Mama and lets keep the faith it will resolve itself soon!
I so agree with you. those who do not have the illness sometimes just can't understand it.....the snap out of it, or just be happy, and/or look at it as a laziness or weakness issue. tbeleiving that we somehow have control of it. I do agree that we have a responsibility to try to treat it like any other illness...and that's where the problem lays I think...it is so hard to take care of yourself and get help when you are down and feeling defeated and helpless and some with no income and medical insurance on top of that! which is what happens to a lot of people with it. and it is so difficult to treat finding what works!!! It began for me in my late 20's when life started falling apart! but as long as I was an active working professional it was a manageable thing. I had insurance and a place to get up and go to everyday so I took care of it. but ever since leaving my hometown behind and being stuck at home watching someone deteriorate at the speed of a snail is too much for me to handle all alone. anyway I hate hate hate the snap out of it's! I love my BFF to death but I have learned she is one of those that just doesn't get it. She is a good friend and supports me the best she can but through conversations we've had and about the suicide of a dear friend of hers. she has such a great disposition and is a caring loving person but I believe she is in the snap out of it school, don't worry, by happy, ugh. I one of the ones that does not have the gene or whatever the bleep it is that causing the clinical version of this. My point being I am kinda afraid to open up too much to her about it! I can't blame them because I remember a time where my thought's where different when I would here of a suicide and just think "that poor poor person how sad and alone they must have felt to come to that conclusion" and now I think "Lucky bastard" I just don't know how to make them understand "don't you think I would snap out of it if I could, jesus you think this is fun?" I want to be happy so freaking bad, I would give a limb to irradicate this at this point I think, lol!!!! anyway there I go writing a book again!!! my longwinded point is snap out of it is such unrealistic expectation, I wish we could make the world understand XOXOX Jen hang in there!!!!
Cuz thank you so much! One does not have to post a lot or have diarreah of the keyboard like I get to make there point.... You have the same gift as Bobbie an eloquence that can say so much in so little and/or just what is needed! By your comment about "school being in", are you and educator? That is a great skill in that field!!
Bobbie-googled C-diff, not pretty huh! Sending you well wishes XOXOX!!!!! ok I got a dilemma to deal with now- got to go get the 15 sheets of drywall-but no one to help unload it and then find a place to put it and work on it- The forecast is the lovely Pacific Northwest rainy season is due back Wednesday for the rest of that week, at least! We need it bad tho the fires season this year has been scary!!!! Ok have a good day everyone!! Peace, Juju
Nice to have you chime in juju. The jokes have really slowed down but should be picking up now that school has started and everyone is back home from cottages etc. Just because I don't post jokes doesn't mean I don't read the posts every night. Just try to think positive and try to get some help with some type of respit care so you can sneak out for a weekend or two. I can't believe what you gals are going through every day 24/7 without any outside help. Thanks to all of you that have been there and done it. I'm thankful that you have let me read about all that you have gone through over the years that I have been on here since my cousin captain bobbie told me about this site. Hugs to all of you. You are a special group of people and you are also part of my extended family. Love all of you OK? luvCuz
Know what you mean about depression juju, had it most of my life, and this situation just really ads to the LOAD... If you don't have it, be grateful, if you have no idea what it is like, be really grateful, but try not to nag at people living with clinical depression. There is no snap out of it, just get up and fix yourself, or take a magic pill... It is probably a bit like being an addict, it is always there, and you have to learn to function around it, over it, under it, beside it...And always be aware of your reactions to things in life as being colored by it... A muddy grey blue color that...
My mom (65) is now starting to leave the stove on and forget to take her pills and lose track of things...God, please make him die before this situation becomes truly UN-LIVE-ABLE! Jen
Juju, glad the house is almost finished. That has been extra stress you don't need. I have another story about my step dad. He mentioned that he was going to shut down his cooler, which is on the roof of his house. I begged him to let me come do it. By the time I got up to his house (quarter mile), the only thing that had kept off the roof was I had put his ladder up in the rafters of his shop, and he couldn't get it down. So I got the ladder out, climbed up on his roof, turn around and there's his head peeking up over the edge. He was standing on the ladder to supervise, when I fussed at him, he said, " you just told me I couldn't get on the roof".
Good news!!! I finally found someone, after 3 months, just Friday to sheetrock so I can finish the master bath....that room still needs work but at least I can unload my storage without it done!
I have to add something... when I speak of depression It a whole different depression than what I felt before coming to this site and thread. I have an outlet and friends here that are priceless I know you all have helped me so much and whenever I need it you are there!!!! since going thru the series of broken bones from feb-aug last year and all the emotional side of the medical drama’s that nearly flipped me out, construction, and drama with the friends that I don’t see anymore ....what I am sure started it is that I am just too tired from the new challenges.... did not realize how terribly draining the loss of her ability to walk would be. All this snowballed but what Is so particularly frustrating to me and causing me such anxiety and depression is came out of that caregiver coma ready to start moving forward but I am overwhelmed and frustrated adjusting to our new life, starting the cycle... I so want to move forward and set goals but still having many bad days although catching myself before it gets out of control It is just enough to interfere with I want accomplish. it is almost more frustrating.. therefore wanting to make me go back into the coma to numb it. A viscious circle of sorts…… but ultimately I am saying I am just too tired to do what I need to, not like before where I just didn't care about doing anything.... As I said earlier tired of computer, I just want to get out and meet new people, find a church, visit friends….and if I have to do it with mom it just seems like so much work and I never can feel relaxed…..and building new friendships is so hard right now to me….i don’t feel like I have anything to offer relate to, but moms diaper/feeding schedule. I am too isolated and used to it ….. I don’t even know how to socialize anymore is what it feels like….and tooo tired to get us out the door anymore….. Im sure the increased pain I am feeling also are stressing me which inturn wears on the emotions. I believe most of it is arthritis I will find out next month but the one elbow is so bad now and a different pain and had been previously injured I think it possibly something else idk, maybe not, I don’t know what arthritis is supposed to feel like.. It is proven negative thought patterns affect ones health and immune systems, yet depression a chemical inbalance cause negative thoughts ughhhhh what another damn cycle! I also feel like I cannot move forward and start new things or even go an socialize, till house is back together.. I got the paint 95% done, just need to do doors and touch up everything after getting trim up…..that is cut ready to paint and install. Then unload storage…I wanted it done so I am not paying storage every month I set a goal to finish in august but looks like I still wont have it done till mid-end Oct. the way it is going. I would much rather pay a sitter than storage…and then if I have a day getting nothing done I mine as well should have packed up and gone to see that baby I need to see, he is six months now and I haven’t seen him since his day of birth and they only 1.5 hrs away!!! I know I will feel better if I have something social going on regularly! I turn Goals into punishments…..cycle of frustration!! and Days turn into weeks then months at frightening speed I cant believe it has been a over a year trying to finish this freaking house where did the time go!!!! Well I guess if I stay away for a month I am going to throw up here! I really try to come back more so I don’t overwhelm my emotional garbage! Love to you all and thanks for being here!
Hey there, Yup It has been so hard to post.....hard to do anything but survive:Bob's observation dead on...Think it is linked to the burnout/depression syndrome cant participate in things you enjoy. I love you guys and the posts and stories, want to participate but just can't drum up any spirit to do it!!!! and for me especially like Cuz mentioned, I am just so sick and tired of the cyber world/computer. I want so bad for some human contact, I am so very isolated without my caregivers and trips to the store are the only thing I have..i haven't had a hug in 6 mo's anyway I know I should be here it is a wonderful outlet but I just don't, and Mame I so identify with you, always have....this is just a freaking nightmare, I see no way out of for me, I will be taking care of my momma till I drop or she does and then will be so completely lost. when I tally up what I have been thru i am amazed and proud i am still standing but it doesn't help me do any better!!! And Jen I feel for you too... I spend days in my jammies, but I do get out of bed because I have too! everyone will starve and shit everywhere if I don't....god I just want a few days off knowing my loved ones are well cared for!!! Depression is miserable disease....I read this quote the other day "depression is a cruel punishment. There are no rashes, fevers, bloodtests to send people scurrying for concern, just the slow erosion of self, as insidious as cancer, and like cancer it is essentially a solitary experience, a room in h*ll with only your name on the door". Anyway I sure hope to continue on this thread as much as I can, I like it here, as I always have liked smaller groups, etc.....This place is a lifesaver, the ghostship shall sail on, lol!!!! I have been thinking that maybe I might buy a used camper/trailer now, and then when something does happen and I don't have a home I can live in that, maybe if I do that my anxieties of what is to come may be relieved a bit, idk, if it is a smart move financially as I would only spend a few thousand on a used one I have seen a couple decent fifth wheel units about 3k anyway first counselor appt on holloween!!!
Congrats on the new babies Kuli, and Sharyn-glad all is well now, scary moment I have no idea what Cdiff is Bob but sounds miserable.(will google it later) take care of yourself best ya can girl and love you, you are the best!!
Meanwhile those ribs are painful, hope he heals fast.....Sidenote: I requested a different Dr in same office as yes, am locked into that office. Next month is the appt. fingers crossed it a better experience!
deef sounds like fun vacation! that hot oil incident sounds horrific, poor little guy. Burns are awful-pain and scarring, sending him the best!!!
Cuz, keep them jokes coming!
Austin, how is your hunny doing, love your love story!
Well I gotta get busy love you all, whoever I missed, I cant remember what day it is let alone everyone, hahaha!!!
No seriously, I don't know what happens. Hope I can remember how gross some of the things my Mom and Dad do now when I get to be there age. I have an Aunt that used to be very particular about everything. Wouldn't even let a dog or cat inside the house. Now her little lap dog eats off her plate at meals, but at least it isn't standing on the table.
That's like the young man that goes to visit his grandfather. He hasn't seen his grandpa in several years, what with college and a new job in another town. But, a business conference sends him back to his home town, and he decides to surprise grandpa. So he shows up early one morning before his meetings start. Grandpa is so happy to see his grandson, asks him if he has had breakfast. The grandson say's well no, not yet. Grandpa insists on fixing breakfast, fries up some eggs and bacon a good old fashioned breakfast. The grandson is shoveling it down when he notices a a little crusty dried edge on his plate. He asks his grandfather, "did you wash these dishes". Grandpa says "there as clean as cold water can get them". Grandson thinks oh well, and finishes breakfast, but he has to get to his meeting. As he gets up to leave, and hug his grandpa goodbye, grandpa's big hairy dog jumps up and starts barking. Grandpa says "hush up Cold water".
Melaine does your Mom live with you-I have been out of the loop lately-if she does you can say to her the cat can not be present during meal time and is never allowed on your table-a spray bottle of water works well to train cats and if it is her house you can refuse to fix her meals or eat with her at all times-she may think it is ok but it is not ok with you and you should not have to endure such while you are eating-she will not be happy but so what.
My mom let's one of her 4(!) cats eat off her plate. Eeew....and to make it worse, it's a cat that has a perpetually runny nose. Yes the cat is allowed to traipse thru the letterbox and then walk across the dinner table and then eat off of mom's plate :( Yes it is as gross as it sounds. Asking her not to allow this behavior doesn't do any good. To make things worse, this cat has no tail so the view from across the table is exactly what you would guess. For this reason, I don't EVER want to use the same plate or dish, etc as mom does. Yuck!
Took my mom for her Dr appointment. They think she has another UTI, She says no, I feel fine. Won't take the antibiotics. Is supposed to be drinking more water. I know better than to argue with her. Probably be back in the ER by the weekend though.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Bobbie hope you are on the mend, miss you!
Mame, Deef, Meanwhile, Cuz - shout out!
Hang in there everyone!
Peace,Juju
Ya especially with the Parkinson's limiting his ability, further, to be him! I can’t imagine the complication, fear and anxiety that added to the mix!!! And from what I hear he was selfless and just maybe did not want to be a burden or object of pity, idk..... Agreed wish he could have worked thru this new challenge, but I understand where he was emotionally!!!
I also am limited to TV as mom likes it on, though most of the time she is not even watching it…just the occasional glance now and then, love it tho as I mentioned before sometimes I do catch her cracking up to something she saw. So with dvr I can rewind it and play it again for us, I love those moments….i did notice she pays more attention to animated stuff. But it is not due to vision issues, she reads me captions she sees, some I can barely read! Just easier to figure out I guess, that regression:(!
I know what you mean about the connection comedy and pain…..I go to that immediately, when something gets to me, I make a joke about it…but I am not blessed with the comedy gene unfortunately for those around me!!
Well got them to deliver my drywall at a discount by just calling an asking the normal fee of 80 seemed so high so I called and asked lowes I have spent so much money hear last 6 mos’ can you help me with this fee ? so they gave me half off…which by time I pay kid to unload, and hooking up trailer, gas to town, having to get ma up to go with me to , no caregiver day, etc..….. Well we were putting in garage and thank goodness I noticed they brought the wrong kind…I needed “greenboard” Mold and moisture resistant for bath! Now I feel bad cause they have to make two trips down here, oh well, I am just glad I noticed it before they left/or I started using it. They are supposed to be bringing the right stuff today! So I better go find my phone see if they called and get my day started! been loafing this morning, eyes are so tired!
mmm yes, poop, the new art medium.
hey juju, Know what you mean about Robin. loved him since I was 8...Was a total blow. I know there is a lot of pain behind comedy, throw in addiction, fear of a disease that will try to rob you of dignity then kill you and just the fact of the miseries of aging....It still shocked me, but I can understand the pain and the just not wanting to let it drag out any longer...Wish he could have gotten help though...Truly irreplaceable...
errands today, least the artist as a pest is not here till 3 PM today....
wanted to add to my comment above something I forgot to put...Pessimist, that word touches a nerve... one can be a pessimist, and one can be truly depressed which results in a pessimistic attitude.... but those who think you can snap out of it, call it being a pessimist!
Anyway been having a little trouble sleeping this week, now a headache last couple days and eyes just burn like they are tired, hard to keep em open! hope this passes soon!
Have the best day possible!!!
Peace
Juju
There was one antibiotic home health told me about, I can find it somewhere written down if anyone wants, but when I asked her GP, they said they don't want to prescribe, that she will end up building a tolerance to it....and wont work after while...idk....I don't trust much of what her doc's say anymore!
Trying to check in daily for a while to just get back in the groove of this site! I had been thinking a lot about you'all past few months. Remembering Jen was doing some writing while back and bobbie you had some comedy you were doing. Just curious about it, Hoping you are getting to do more of the stuff you like to do!
Speaking of comedy, and this darn depression we were speaking of....the suicide of such a comedic genius as Robin Williams really shook me to the core! At least until the news of the Parkinson's came out....then it all made sense to me. initially the thoughts were wow....if the funniest man alive couldn't cope (with the resources he could afford for help) ...heaven help us all !!! I was extremely saddened by the loss, one of my very favorites and such a genuinely kind man per the media reports! anyway one thing reading thru some of the public feedback on social media, some were just awful condemning and some were so empathetic and understanding. there was such a flood of discussion everywhere i hope at very least, it will help change things a bit with how this disease is perceived and treated!
I get out of my own head by watching TV, I would prefer to read or bead but time consuming and my comprehension is next to nil most of the time. Mainly I can multi task with TV ( soon will find my speakers and do some music too) glad The Voice is back i love that one!
Anyway. Comedy has been my therapy lately. Watch Jimmy Fallon, every day, I just added Ellen...I forgot she was on, and think she is so funny Chelsea Lately when it was on!!! I tape them So I get my little laff every day from somewhere….Monday night Tonite Show was a bit that kinda relates to the topic of depression and just what i needed make me laugh at myself. See if it translates....
“There is a new study out that says dogs can be pessimist just as humans”. They cut to graphics…. Snoopy captioned "“My owner is a depressed bald child who cant play sports, and my best friend is a bird, a freaking BIRD! Does anyone have any Klonipin”
Next it is Toto “Spoiler Alert: There is no Wizard of Oz. It’s just a middle aged man behind a curtain. And on top of that, the whole thing is a dream. Magic does not exist”
Lastly it is Murray from Mad About You “Show business is all just a big joke. It’s so fake and phony. Wanna guess the last time I heard from Paul Reiser? The last day we taped ‘Mad About You’. Stay in touch my a**”
Sound just like me, good grief!
Well the eyes are closing, time to go.............stay tuff!
peace,
Juju
have heard there is a full time anti biotic for just that thing juju....see how long till he is on it. God knows she can't Make him drink enough water to flush it out, and good luck getting him out of his soiled Depends.
Hope you all enjoyed the first day of fall !!!
CLEO got all clear at Vet, and they gave the all clear once she was no longer on the premises...Dangerous wild cat! All 8 pounds of her...
Went out and caught a grasshopper and carried it in to show mom, I see no reason not to. Let him go back where he was. An I think I heard someones rooster crow just now! crazy! Better than screamin' neigh-bores though...Another week....
Stay sane where ever you are! Jen
Decided to change the profile pic from momma’s face…..was pondering that that might also be something bothering me…..i love my momma and want to show her sweet face but it I came to feel that everything I do is all about her, I needed to separate myself from her just a bit, kinda petty but ..... and I see her everyday all day, when I get on here I want to see something that takes me away from her, mentally for a moment! So I chose a snapshot I took at the vet’s office of that cute li'l patient they had on display. It seemed relevant to caregiving in the hospital gown and all, hehehhee but mostly It just puts a smile on my face!!!
Have a good day all!!!
Peace,
Juju
I know what you mean by "well there out of it" that's how I feel about my lucky bastard" thought....it's like thank goodness that person has found their peace and is not suffering anymore, just as in cancer patient. but with the cancer you know what that straw was that broke the camels back!! The way I see it there is only 3 options get lucky and find what works to get better or the one we speak of today and the 3rd live in a mental purgatory which s just as debilitating but unlike the cancer, is invisible as in that quote!
Anyway, I love it, I love it, you just ain't done kicking doo doo up yet!
I think I am really emotional today I realized whe are approaching the 10th anniversary of bringing mom home with me. it was a few days before her birthday as I remember throwing a bbq for her to introduce her to my friends and neighbors after we had a few days to settle in. 87th Bday is Sunday, then my 51st is 3 days later....that is going to be so much easier than 50, last year!!!I
Hang in there to all
Peace
Juju
LuvCuz
LuvCuz.
Just looked over at feed....trouble taking day as they come...mother (98)...Oh God, let him die before we do! PLEASE! He went to dr today, mom took him in, apparently he has.....yes, another UTI. Shocking...He is taking to cutting his fingernails to the quick because he keeps getting poop under his nails and rather than WASH HIS HANDS, he is trying to eliminate the more obvious locations where feces can get caught...God just end it!
Jen
Jen - Omg yes what a looming thought,!!! Keep an eye on your Mama and lets keep the faith it will resolve itself soon!
I so agree with you. those who do not have the illness sometimes just can't understand it.....the snap out of it, or just be happy, and/or look at it as a laziness or weakness issue. tbeleiving that we somehow have control of it. I do agree that we have a responsibility to try to treat it like any other illness...and that's where the problem lays I think...it is so hard to take care of yourself and get help when you are down and feeling defeated and helpless and some with no income and medical insurance on top of that! which is what happens to a lot of people with it. and it is so difficult to treat finding what works!!! It began for me in my late 20's when life started falling apart! but as long as I was an active working professional it was a manageable thing. I had insurance and a place to get up and go to everyday so I took care of it. but ever since leaving my hometown behind and being stuck at home watching someone deteriorate at the speed of a snail is too much for me to handle all alone. anyway I hate hate hate the snap out of it's! I love my BFF to death but I have learned she is one of those that just doesn't get it. She is a good friend and supports me the best she can but through conversations we've had and about the suicide of a dear friend of hers. she has such a great disposition and is a caring loving person but I believe she is in the snap out of it school, don't worry, by happy, ugh. I one of the ones that does not have the gene or whatever the bleep it is that causing the clinical version of this. My point being I am kinda afraid to open up too much to her about it! I can't blame them because I remember a time where my thought's where different when I would here of a suicide and just think "that poor poor person how sad and alone they must have felt to come to that conclusion" and now I think "Lucky bastard" I just don't know how to make them understand "don't you think I would snap out of it if I could, jesus you think this is fun?" I want to be happy so freaking bad, I would give a limb to irradicate this at this point I think, lol!!!! anyway there I go writing a book again!!! my longwinded point is snap out of it is such unrealistic expectation, I wish we could make the world understand XOXOX Jen hang in there!!!!
Cuz thank you so much! One does not have to post a lot or have diarreah of the keyboard like I get to make there point.... You have the same gift as Bobbie an eloquence that can say so much in so little and/or just what is needed! By your comment about "school being in", are you and educator? That is a great skill in that field!!
Bobbie-googled C-diff, not pretty huh! Sending you well wishes XOXOX!!!!!
ok I got a dilemma to deal with now- got to go get the 15 sheets of drywall-but no one to help unload it and then find a place to put it and work on it- The forecast is the lovely Pacific Northwest rainy season is due back Wednesday for the rest of that week, at least! We need it bad tho the fires season this year has been scary!!!!
Ok have a good day everyone!!
Peace,
Juju
luvCuz
A muddy grey blue color that...
My mom (65) is now starting to leave the stove on and forget to take her pills and lose track of things...God, please make him die before this situation becomes truly UN-LIVE-ABLE! Jen
I have another story about my step dad. He mentioned that he was going to shut down his cooler, which is on the roof of his house. I begged him to let me come do it. By the time I got up to his house (quarter mile), the only thing that had kept off the roof was I had put his ladder up in the rafters of his shop, and he couldn't get it down. So I got the ladder out, climbed up on his roof, turn around and there's his head peeking up over the edge. He was standing on the ladder to supervise, when I fussed at him, he said, " you just told me I couldn't get on the roof".
since going thru the series of broken bones from feb-aug last year and all the emotional side of the medical drama’s that nearly flipped me out, construction, and drama with the friends that I don’t see anymore
....what I am sure started it is that I am just too tired from the new challenges.... did not realize how terribly draining the loss of her ability to walk would be. All this snowballed but what Is so particularly frustrating to me and causing me such anxiety and depression is came out of that caregiver coma ready to start moving forward but I am overwhelmed and frustrated adjusting to our new life, starting the cycle... I so want to move forward and set goals but still having many bad days although catching myself before it gets out of control It is just enough to interfere with I want accomplish. it is almost more frustrating.. therefore wanting to make me go back into the coma to numb it. A viscious circle of sorts……
but ultimately I am saying I am just too tired to do what I need to, not like before where I just didn't care about doing anything.... As I said earlier tired of computer, I just want to get out and meet new people, find a church, visit friends….and if I have to do it with mom it just seems like so much work and I never can feel relaxed…..and building new friendships is so hard right now to me….i don’t feel like I have anything to offer relate to, but moms diaper/feeding schedule. I am too isolated and used to it ….. I don’t even know how to socialize anymore is what it feels like….and tooo tired to get us out the door anymore…..
Im sure the increased pain I am feeling also are stressing me which inturn wears on the emotions. I believe most of it is arthritis I will find out next month but the one elbow is so bad now and a different pain and had been previously injured I think it possibly something else idk, maybe not, I don’t know what arthritis is supposed to feel like.. It is proven negative thought patterns affect ones health and immune systems, yet depression a chemical inbalance cause negative thoughts ughhhhh what another damn cycle!
I also feel like I cannot move forward and start new things or even go an socialize, till house is back together.. I got the paint 95% done, just need to do doors and touch up everything after getting trim up…..that is cut ready to paint and install. Then unload storage…I wanted it done so I am not paying storage every month I set a goal to finish in august but looks like I still wont have it done till mid-end Oct. the way it is going. I would much rather pay a sitter than storage…and then if I have a day getting nothing done I mine as well should have packed up and gone to see that baby I need to see, he is six months now and I haven’t seen him since his day of birth and they only 1.5 hrs away!!! I know I will feel better if I have something social going on regularly! I turn Goals into punishments…..cycle of frustration!!
and Days turn into weeks then months at frightening speed I cant believe it has been a over a year trying to finish this freaking house where did the time go!!!!
Well I guess if I stay away for a month I am going to throw up here! I really try to come back more so I don’t overwhelm my emotional garbage!
Love to you all and thanks for being here!
Yup It has been so hard to post.....hard to do anything but survive:Bob's observation dead on...Think it is linked to the burnout/depression syndrome cant participate in things you enjoy. I love you guys and the posts and stories, want to participate but just can't drum up any spirit to do it!!!! and for me especially like Cuz mentioned, I am just so sick and tired of the cyber world/computer. I want so bad for some human contact, I am so very isolated without my caregivers and trips to the store are the only thing I have..i haven't had a hug in 6 mo's anyway I know I should be here it is a wonderful outlet but I just don't, and Mame I so identify with you, always have....this is just a freaking nightmare, I see no way out of for me, I will be taking care of my momma till I drop or she does and then will be so completely lost. when I tally up what I have been thru i am amazed and proud i am still standing but it doesn't help me do any better!!! And Jen I feel for you too... I spend days in my jammies, but I do get out of bed because I have too! everyone will starve and shit everywhere if I don't....god I just want a few days off knowing my loved ones are well cared for!!! Depression is miserable disease....I read this quote the other day "depression is a cruel punishment. There are no rashes, fevers, bloodtests to send people scurrying for concern, just the slow erosion of self, as insidious as cancer, and like cancer it is essentially a solitary experience, a room in h*ll with only your name on the door". Anyway I sure hope to continue on this thread as much as I can, I like it here, as I always have liked smaller groups, etc.....This place is a lifesaver, the ghostship shall sail on, lol!!!!
I have been thinking that maybe I might buy a used camper/trailer now, and then when something does happen and I don't have a home I can live in that, maybe if I do that my anxieties of what is to come may be relieved a bit, idk, if it is a smart move financially as I would only spend a few thousand on a used one I have seen a couple decent fifth wheel units about 3k anyway first counselor appt on holloween!!!
Congrats on the new babies Kuli, and Sharyn-glad all is well now, scary moment
I have no idea what Cdiff is Bob but sounds miserable.(will google it later) take care of yourself best ya can girl and love you, you are the best!!
Meanwhile those ribs are painful, hope he heals fast.....Sidenote: I requested a different Dr in same office as yes, am locked into that office. Next month is the appt. fingers crossed it a better experience!
deef sounds like fun vacation! that hot oil incident sounds horrific, poor little guy. Burns are awful-pain and scarring, sending him the best!!!
Cuz, keep them jokes coming!
Austin, how is your hunny doing, love your love story!
Well I gotta get busy love you all, whoever I missed, I cant remember what day it is let alone everyone, hahaha!!!
Try to stay strong!!!
Peace,
Juju