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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Glad~LOL!!! Thanks but in reality, it doesn't seem like such a big deal compared with all the other things to deal with regarding my mom's care. Mostly, I just accept that this is my mom.
Laugh at it and lighten up. No different than a two year old doing it. You choose to be disgusted.
Put yourself in that situation and think about the confusion the person must be experiencing. Using a toothbrush for a hairbrush.. That's getting wigged out over the tiny stuff.
They won't change. To survive...change ur attitude. Don't sweat the small stuff. Take deep breaths. Caregiving isn't for wimps.. How u handle it makes or breaks the person ur caring for.. Be kind & keep laughing.. It's gets worse... DOA.. D*mn old age as my gramma use to say.. Be well ..
Impearl~ My mother has always had this habit of sucking air through her 2 front teeth to release caught food...that grossed me out while growing up. Now she has Alz...she pulls pieces of meat out of her mouth and puts it on her plate..She says it is gristle. Yes it grosses me out.
Well, I never thought it would happen. My Mom has had chronic diarrhea for as long as I can remember. Took her to the ER on Wednesday, thought she had a bowel obstruction. NOPE, the crazy woman was constipated?! We started her on a probiotic about 4 months ago at doc's recommendation. I told him I was afraid that if the poop faucet did not work the same old way that she would not understand that she has to push to go. And OMG the amount of stuff in her, UNBELIEVABLE! And she should not have had a problem getting it out based on consistency.
How about my mother taking her teeth out when we were eating at a bbq, picking at them, then droping them in her water glass, fishing them out putting them back in her mouth then drinking the water in the water glass before i could stop her. This with a table full of people eating. Needless to say, nobody ate after that show.
Nothing new here, but painting the kitchen, white base, show up poop stains and wheel chair scraping reeel goode... It just goes on and on..."You might want to look at your finger nails before you put them in your mouth Daddy..." "It's down to the quick!"..."Yes, but there is POOP under the nails...stop picking at it and wash it off before you put your fingers in your mouth..." God when does this end? Took flowers to cemetery last week, look at the date under his name and pray the end says 2014!...
Post listed at right..."Going on vacation for a week, leaving Mom should I feel guilty?" NO GO!!! Go Now, Run, get any time off you can!!!!
Raining cats and dogs here today. Got damp quick as mom likes to say! She told me the other day that she was sad that nurses have to take care of her. I hate when she is sad. I just reminded her that she can still see, hear and feed herself...that her kids visit her....and she is for the most part "happy" and she seemed to feel better. So sad at the NH where so many have no visitors! Such a lonely place. Mom knows she is blessed-on a good day.
Hey Linda, good to hear from you. Mom fell again. bruise on her head and her hip, nothing broken. Have to take her to the Dr next week, because her hair is falling out. She gets anorexic and won't eat. Probably why she fell, but won't admit that might be the problem. No telling what she will come up with to tell the Dr.
hello u all . austin - u made me grin when u talked about the broomstick , yes lets fly ! woke up to nippy cool house , oh yes its cold outside , wow , we have no firewood , so this weekend will be a good timin to work and get a back ache . jsomebody - how are u doing ? i think about u all the time and cant get over how healthy ur gpa is . d*mn , strong as a oz i say ... mil is still hangin in there . i felt sorry for her , she s in bed all night then when she wakes up they put her in a lift chair ( not comfertable pa hated it ) till its bed time then put her in bed . i ask if they ever take her outside and take her into kitchen table to eat etc . nope . now i thought shit what a way to live .... i could go and hang out , we live 1 and half hr drive from her . only go see her once a great while . i feel bad and felt im the sibling that doesnt help or visit .... i am just the IN LAWS whatever i say or begin cocerned , hubby says dont worry about it , theyre doing fine job takin care of mom ..... she looks good . blah blah . in my mind im thinking she doesnt get the attention she needs , ah well damned if i do damned if i dont . so whatever .... hope bobbie is getting better ! you all have a safe good week . cuz - i still read ur jokes , sometimes i fly by here and dont say anything , today i thought id say hello ... love ya xoxo
Mame~I know what you mean. I never did the 24/7 caregiving but was in the trenches in other ways regarding my dys family. I feel I don't have much to contribute, long winded and even though I work, I feel isolated with my children living so far away. Between work,c are of my house which it never seems to get done, then see to mom's care, visiting with her, etc, I want to pull the covers over my head and just stay there. Have a pleasant day everyone...Bobbie hope you are feeling better.
Mame, I know how you feel. My husbands gone, my parents really don't need help everyday (at least not yet). I think what do I have to contribute, but I love reading your posts. It is always insightful. I'm thankful I have Indio, my sister, and a great job. It keeps me going. Can you join a gym or something else fun? I keep telling myself I will learn yoga (someday). So sorry about your dog. My husbands old dog is going on 15. I hate to think about losing him. Snuffy was a part of Sam, and it just feels like when Snuffy is gone, my last connection with Sam will be gone. I know that is silly. When Snuffy dies, I wonder if I can sneak into the cemetery and bury Snuffy next to Sam? My step dad is putting his water lines back together this afternoon. Won't let me help. I think he wants to prove he can still do it. I know he is so embarrassed, poor guy. A friend sent me a post (she is older) "When is old enough to know better going to kick in?" That's a good question.
Had 5 wedding this summer! Last one was yesterday. Ahhh.... Now that fall is coming and more ppl will be stuck inside, I bet more posts will appear! Meanwhile-that is such a bummer! And a tough call when to take the car away! Don't envy that. Cuz-you are such a cool guy! So supportive etc... Thank you for being here! Jen, wish we could do more for ya. Hate those depressing days-but completely understand. Sharyn, must be wonderful with new life to hear about! Gives you hope! Glad-our provider was down last week for several hours...wonder what is up with that??? Mom didn't come to the wedding yesterday. It was too far away to take her...not being able to change her without a lift and a bed etc. I thought she was getting upset about it over the last few weeks so the sibs and I haven't been talking about it. But one bro told her that we wouldn't be home till midnight and she said-"Oh, I have to be in bed before that." And then she was fine about not going! We will see when we show her the pictures! Maybe she will feel she was there after seeing them like she did my son's wedding! Hopefully! I hate for her to be sad. I think I don't write sometime cause I feel guilty. Guilty that mom is in a nursing home and that I am no happier than when she was here! To me that sounds crazy. I have more free time, I don't have to do the physical lifting or 24 hr listening etc. But I am honestly unhappy. I feel I have no purpose now. My kids are grown, my mom is in the NH, my dog died, hubby is back to work... And I know I should do things and make new friends somehow, but I have no desire to even get out of bed in the morning. And I know that if I did get my arse moving and meeting and doing things I would want to get out of bed...but it is a vicious circle. And for all of you in the trenches, I feel guilty telling you about it...cause I was there and wanted so badly to be where I am now-and here I am! Unhappy! Sounds ludicrous doesn't it? So there it is. I said it. The other reason I don't write sometimes is cause I know I write too much and some people may skim it but won't read it all! I am too long-winded! Sorry! So, Bobbie-you any better? It's a long haul. Hang in there woman! Hugs to all. Mame
Step dad crashed his van into his garage, took some water lines. He so shouldn't be driving, but if he does quit driving will be the death of him. If I didn't have to work full time I would drive him around. He wants to go somewhere everyday. Can't say I blame him. Otherwise he would be stuck at home with my crazy mother full time. Will spend tomorrow fixing their water.
hugs to ya Jen,sharyn,glad,meanwhile and everyone else I missed. I'm usually on here every night to read what is going on and I still try to post a joke if one comes in. If I have to I will start posting repeats just to bring some light into the dark tunnels you may be in. I know I don't respond to all the posts but I do read them and hold each one of you as part of our family. If nobody else ever says it I want to thank everyone for their service in the caregiving, may it be one day or many years. It takes a special person and I think everyone fits that part. Hug again. Your special family member Cuz. Luv ya all.
That would make me nutty Sharyn, shift shift shift....Maybe change is good eh?...
I think partly the lull is summer, partly some usual posters lost there careees' and don't feel they fit in now/ Some have more work on their hands than before, some just sort of fade out when it doesn't seem to connect as much. Things do change. It was good it was here while it was, and I am sure it will be for some time to come. Different people? or maybe it had it's time and it is just time to move on...I don't know. I check in weekly, when depression doesn't have me in bed for days on end...I don't know. Have a good weekend all...Jen
I agree with cuz. I have noticed this lull on the dys thread on and off for about year. It has picked up because we have several new posters over the last 6 months or so.
Being back from Idaho and back to reality now. I received a call from the facility my mom is living in last night. The dr changed mom's antidepressant to Lexapro about 4-6 weeks ago. Mom is doing well on this new drug. However, the facility's pharmacy will not refill it because the original script is from another pharmacy. I had to call the dr asking them to fax a script to the facility as well as call in another script to the local pharmacy so my mom has enough to get through until the facility's pharmacy fills the new script from their end. I had to be at wor by 11am today, thankfully my hubs is still on vacy and he went to the pharmacy to pick up the script to take to the facility. I am off tomorrow and will follow up.
I have been transferrred again!!! LOL!!! Monday I start back at the store I was hired at 6 years ago. This should be interesting.
I am loving the updates from my dd about my precious grandsons. She and her hubs have finally figured out they have to take shifts, LOL!!! You know how the younger generations is...they don't want advice from us seasoned parents!!! Little Ethan is very laid back, prefers a bottle...not much work on his part. Little Logan likes the extra cuddles and wants the breast. Logan is the smaller of the 2 so I figure he just needs the extra nurturing to catch up with his bro, LOL!!
Have a good weekend, I hope every one is ok. Bobbie how are you doing with the C-diff, mame, is everything ok. Meanwhile, deefer, Jen, Juju, and everyone....I am burnt so I hope I didn't for get anyone. Hugs to all!!
My most frequent thread is the dysfunctional one. It is uncharacteristicly quiet over there too. Maybe everybody has Comcast. The internet service here was down yesterday, and I go to sleep reading here. Imagine my thoughts when I couldn't access last night. But the bonus was that not much to catch up on. A quiet life is a good life especially for caregivers.
I thought the same thing Austin but what I think is happening is that everyone is reading but are either to tired to post or are just taking a little break from the computor. I have noticed that my email has been real slow this summer because I haven't got any good jokes like I want to post on here. I still faithfully read GO like I have for quite a few years now. I think it will pick back up so just hang on keep posting and if I can help I will try OK? Hugs your way. luvCuz I am bobbie's cousin up here in Michigan.
I am wondering why so few posts lately -are posts being deleted -I have been on this site 6 yrs. and have never seen so little activity -this use to be a great avenue for those needing help and those who were experienced caregivers to exchange ideas and report what works for them and to give emotional support when your life is gong down the drain and you are in the black hole and feel alone and invisible and your former friends are to busy to even spend 10 min. on the phone with you listening to what is going on in your world-caregivers need support.
Hope everyone has a good peaceful day-I am on my broomstick lately about badly behaving senior women and am a charter member of the sisterhood of KAW kick a** women-can't be nice and quiet-one lady in our craft group said she thought I was a quiet sweet person-not when my good friends are treated badly-I will roar when necessary .
Mame we need rain badly here downstate they keep promising rain but have been getting very little-probably will come this weekend-we may go to the grange fair and a car show-I am raising Cain with badly behaving seniors -I can not believe how some of them act-if the grandkids acted this way they would get time out-I have suggested some of them go to preschool and learn how to be nice to each other-that goes over big.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Put yourself in that situation and think about the confusion the person must be experiencing. Using a toothbrush for a hairbrush.. That's getting wigged out over the tiny stuff.
They won't change. To survive...change ur attitude. Don't sweat the small stuff. Take deep breaths. Caregiving isn't for wimps.. How u handle it makes or breaks the person ur caring for.. Be kind & keep laughing.. It's gets worse... DOA.. D*mn old age as my gramma use to say.. Be well ..
Glad~Ewwww!!! Your poor mom!!!
Sorry, pretty gross! But real!
Post listed at right..."Going on vacation for a week, leaving Mom should I feel guilty?" NO GO!!! Go Now, Run, get any time off you can!!!!
Have a sane week all...Jen
Mom fell again. bruise on her head and her hip, nothing broken. Have to take her to the Dr next week, because her hair is falling out. She gets anorexic and won't eat. Probably why she fell, but won't admit that might be the problem. No telling what she will come up with to tell the Dr.
luvCuz
we have no firewood , so this weekend will be a good timin to work and get a back ache .
jsomebody - how are u doing ? i think about u all the time and cant get over how healthy ur gpa is . d*mn , strong as a oz i say ...
mil is still hangin in there . i felt sorry for her , she s in bed all night then when she wakes up they put her in a lift chair ( not comfertable pa hated it ) till its bed time then put her in bed . i ask if they ever take her outside and take her into kitchen table to eat etc . nope . now i thought shit what a way to live .... i could go and hang out , we live 1 and half hr drive from her . only go see her once a great while . i feel bad and felt im the sibling that doesnt help or visit .... i am just the IN LAWS whatever i say or begin cocerned , hubby says dont worry about it , theyre doing fine job takin care of mom ..... she looks good . blah blah . in my mind im thinking she doesnt get the attention she needs , ah well damned if i do damned if i dont . so whatever ....
hope bobbie is getting better ! you all have a safe good week . cuz - i still read ur jokes ,
sometimes i fly by here and dont say anything , today i thought id say hello ... love ya xoxo
My step dad is putting his water lines back together this afternoon. Won't let me help. I think he wants to prove he can still do it. I know he is so embarrassed, poor guy.
A friend sent me a post (she is older) "When is old enough to know better going to kick in?" That's a good question.
Meanwhile-that is such a bummer! And a tough call when to take the car away! Don't envy that.
Cuz-you are such a cool guy! So supportive etc... Thank you for being here!
Jen, wish we could do more for ya. Hate those depressing days-but completely understand.
Sharyn, must be wonderful with new life to hear about! Gives you hope!
Glad-our provider was down last week for several hours...wonder what is up with that???
Mom didn't come to the wedding yesterday. It was too far away to take her...not being able to change her without a lift and a bed etc. I thought she was getting upset about it over the last few weeks so the sibs and I haven't been talking about it. But one bro told her that we wouldn't be home till midnight and she said-"Oh, I have to be in bed before that." And then she was fine about not going! We will see when we show her the pictures! Maybe she will feel she was there after seeing them like she did my son's wedding! Hopefully! I hate for her to be sad.
I think I don't write sometime cause I feel guilty. Guilty that mom is in a nursing home and that I am no happier than when she was here! To me that sounds crazy. I have more free time, I don't have to do the physical lifting or 24 hr listening etc. But I am honestly unhappy. I feel I have no purpose now. My kids are grown, my mom is in the NH, my dog died, hubby is back to work... And I know I should do things and make new friends somehow, but I have no desire to even get out of bed in the morning. And I know that if I did get my arse moving and meeting and doing things I would want to get out of bed...but it is a vicious circle. And for all of you in the trenches, I feel guilty telling you about it...cause I was there and wanted so badly to be where I am now-and here I am! Unhappy! Sounds ludicrous doesn't it? So there it is. I said it. The other reason I don't write sometimes is cause I know I write too much and some people may skim it but won't read it all! I am too long-winded! Sorry!
So, Bobbie-you any better? It's a long haul. Hang in there woman!
Hugs to all. Mame
Your special family member Cuz. Luv ya all.
I think partly the lull is summer, partly some usual posters lost there careees' and don't feel they fit in now/ Some have more work on their hands than before, some just sort of fade out when it doesn't seem to connect as much. Things do change. It was good it was here while it was, and I am sure it will be for some time to come. Different people? or maybe it had it's time and it is just time to move on...I don't know. I check in weekly, when depression doesn't have me in bed for days on end...I don't know. Have a good weekend all...Jen
Being back from Idaho and back to reality now. I received a call from the facility my mom is living in last night. The dr changed mom's antidepressant to Lexapro about 4-6 weeks ago. Mom is doing well on this new drug. However, the facility's pharmacy will not refill it because the original script is from another pharmacy. I had to call the dr asking them to fax a script to the facility as well as call in another script to the local pharmacy so my mom has enough to get through until the facility's pharmacy fills the new script from their end. I had to be at wor by 11am today, thankfully my hubs is still on vacy and he went to the pharmacy to pick up the script to take to the facility. I am off tomorrow and will follow up.
I have been transferrred again!!! LOL!!! Monday I start back at the store I was hired at 6 years ago. This should be interesting.
I am loving the updates from my dd about my precious grandsons. She and her hubs have finally figured out they have to take shifts, LOL!!! You know how the younger generations is...they don't want advice from us seasoned parents!!! Little Ethan is very laid back, prefers a bottle...not much work on his part. Little Logan likes the extra cuddles and wants the breast. Logan is the smaller of the 2 so I figure he just needs the extra nurturing to catch up with his bro, LOL!!
Have a good weekend, I hope every one is ok. Bobbie how are you doing with the C-diff, mame, is everything ok. Meanwhile, deefer, Jen, Juju, and everyone....I am burnt so I hope I didn't for get anyone. Hugs to all!!
luvCuz I am bobbie's cousin up here in Michigan.