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Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Hubby may be embarking on a new buisness, maybe, so much to think about. I'm sure it would be lots of work. If it tanked wed have to start over, but if it didn't tank, wed probably be set. Anyone here started a buisness while caregiving? It accually wouldn't be mine but I'm sure id have to help. The buisness is his own truck. He has the oppurtunity to buy one but its used. I want to say go for it, while we are young. But at the same time it would be sooo much stress I'm sure. Any thoughts?
Hi Ted, you might just feel inspired some day and the story will come out. Hi jam,miz, it must be hard clearing things out and painting. I'm starting to like the new format here, I scrolled up and my writing didn't disappear.
Well I can at least breath one sigh of relief. I could not find the dang deed to this house anywhere. I have been so stressed about it. So, hubby says email your brother and see if he has it. So, worried that I might open a can of worms I asked him and yes he does have it. All that worry for nothing. I don't remember him telling me but ya never know. Early onset maybe.
Welcome to you, bpr!! My mom passed away last november but I still hang around on this thread and try to help others who are going through what I went through and to deal with life after care giving. I'm really struggling right now but I know things will get better.
Hubby painted the bathroom walls today. Painted over me and my sister's foot prints my dad put up there when we were kids. I had hubby take pictures of them first. Sad but it had to be painted. He has been working so hard. K, gonna go have a smoke with him. Love yous!!
ssk, I'm still working on my mom's story, I tried to sit and talk with her about her life a little, but I'm afraid it was to painful, she just doesn't have the memories anymore. So, I'll put down what I know about at least.
Hi , just checking in. Hope you get hubbie to get rid of the dead mouse. Will febreeze work? I'm going to watch Army wives, a show I have gotten hooked on, on Lifetime channel. bpr, hi and welcome.
bpry....welcome and please I completely sympathize with you but I'm still rolling about the "no action down there"....:) That's funny! I take care of my mil, affectionately called col (crazy old lady) and if her food isn't rolling off her fork, it's on her shirt, the floor, her chin, she's pushing it out of her mouth......oh my! Took night meds down and took her to potty to change.....what a mess, she is forgetting to wipe her butt now......so she wants to know just how many times a day she is supposed to change undies....once? Oh for pete's sake, here we go again. linda.....your former "little friend" will petrify and quit smelling.... I could smell one every time I opened the door to the col house....son pulled the steps down to her ceiling attic access and a petrified little mouse fell out...got caught in the door....that must have hurt...:) maybe you can tell hubby it's time to remodel, starting with the kitchen wall!
bpry_ welcome ! u ve come to the right place . :-) woohoo . yes i know i hope i dont end up be like that either . its the brain it does alot of damages , sucks ! she prob dont realizes that shes doing it . welcome ! theres alot of us here that is going thru rough time .
barf kept smelling something dead ! waaa its inthe walls ! mouse got in between the walls and died there , damn it ! now i have to smell it and guess where it is ! its in my kitchen waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. wonder how long does the death smell stays around ? told hubby to rip that wall out ! we have to get that dead mouse outta there , he said oh no idontthink so . ewwww .
I have a grossed out moment with my Mother every day. All my childhood and young adulthood, my Mother taught me to be a lady. As a kid, I was very girlie, refused to wear pants... played with my dolls, barbies and paperdolls... Crossed my ankles when I sat. My hair was always perfect, my clothes flawless. The whole 9 yards. Over the course of caring for my Mother, I've noticed she now has some nasty habits. For instance:
- While eating, she'll spit out what is in her mouth from an upright position with no napking or anything to catch the food. Needless to say, Ewww.
- At times, she'll just spit. Out of the blue.
- She does full mouth open wide yawns. I can see her toncils...
- Burping. Really really loudly.
- She has a colostomy. She'll show anyone that inquires. To me, it's like showing someone your anus... and who does that?! Oh, and it doesn't matter who else is in the room... She pulls up her shirt and voila!
- She flirts. She openly flirts with men. So embarrassing to me. You just can't imagine my mortification. Oh and she's not subtle about it.
- She'll say sexual things to her health team members. Example: Her urologist was peering into her lower areas and Mom says "There hasn't been any action down there in decades." Seriously embarrassing.
I can chuckle about it now, but when it happens.... I'm soooo embarresed.
Note: I'm no longer as prissy as I was as a child. I wear pants every day and can smack my gum louder than my nephews. Yes, I've relaxed in my old age. But, lordy, I pray I never relax to my Mom's degree.
Eve everybody, got to take the kids to the park today and auntie didn't have a meltdown, plus for the day yaaaa! Whoever feels guilty about a sick day, don't. You gotta take care of you. Wow this thread is huge. Still trying to navigate the new site. I'm exciting about some of the changes and there are many to get used to. I like the current disscussion and miss that so much. Is it hidden somwhere?
Hi guys taking a sick day sory I know that is not allowed when being a caregiver but for 16 years I was not able-still after almost 2 years feel guiltyTed I do not ride the subway it is 50 mikes away but will check your threory if even get into the city but since I am 70 will probably get aressested and wu=ill use my one phone call to call you Bobbie do not leave you have my sanity,
hey Miz! ace bandage some knee pads on and say to the husband: C'mere kid and let me show you a trick.
Then show him how to scrub a baseboard.
toothaches sux. Got any Ambusol (sp) ? got any root pain killem tonic? Get your tooth fixed and give the dentist payments. he should be so lucky and tell him to roll with the new economy.
Once again, congratulations on getting your house. Be patient with yourself and all of that crap will be behind you and you will be planting lilacs before you know it. love you Miss Miz. a lot.
As bad as it seems you have to second by second make the choice for the sunshine so it becomes habit and you don't let stuff get to you so bad. It's a bear to do but I swear to you on a stack of Vogues, it works.
Just knocked the last roll of toilet paper into the toilet. Does that tell ya something about my life right now?? Hubby wants me to take a brake and go to the store but I have not showered in two days and I really don't feel good. I been scrubbing on my hands and knees the tub room floor. I asked hubby if he realizes how much it hurts an over 50 person to have their knees on a hard floor like that. Nope, he doesn't cause he's only 41. He is working really hard though. Going strong. I gotta call the dentist tomorrow I guess. I don't think this toothache is going away. He will probably say "crown" and I will say, "no can afford". I hope everyone's having a relatively good day. I'm grateful the thread setup has changed back somewhat. Thank you, AC. :)
Am I not seeing the section where you could send a current status report of your loved one to other family members or is it gone? I really liked that because I could keep the col's granddaughters updated easily. They are both doctors and have very busy lives, but that way I kept them informed via email. Getting used to the new format, so I think it will be okay. Nothing new today.....yet.
I'm not sure about the new AC either, but we will get used to it I imagine..Look at the other shit we have had to get used to...I mean really....Hi to everyone from Jen. Still alive, so is he and on it goes. I have chosen to give up on job search for several reasons one is I think I need to be here, looking after FP is not a one person job and mom is getting frazzled enough as it is. So That is on hold and this is my life for right now.
Now I am gonna go make a sign for the MLK March Part two, the response to the Neo-Nazi moron who put a bomb on a park bench to kill the marchers the first time! Team Martin Luther King!!!
I have to tell you how proud I am personally for your decision to hit the books for a degree in order to represent the needs of caregivers. That is so inspiring to so many of us. AND when school is driving you nuts please make sure you vent about it HERE!! love ya buddy. lovbob
AC, One more thing. I know we seem like a demanding bunch of caregivers with all these requests for the site, But please understand that this site is one of the only places that we, as caregivers, can feel as though it is strictly OUR concerns that are being addressed. That is why we are as dedicated to our daily discussions as we are, and please know that we DO appreciate the fact that you work so hard to maintain this one place where WE can get the attention, respect, and understanding that is so necassary to our continued success at keeping our loved ones at home in this final stretch of their lives.
Once again, I agree with Bobbie on all that. (Kudos Captain!)
So Thank You AC, the improvements are much appreciated!
I also strongly miss the Current Discussions option. As Bobbie said, It was an easy and compelling way to encourage involvement in other discussions that I would most likely miss if forced to search for them.
Good job Lindsey... thanks for listening and doing such a quick job of getting us back together. for us this is a life line to sanity.... thanks again.
AC, it's getting better! thanks Lindsey! Text format is huge! As well as the font size in the comment box. Thanks for setting it to rights.
ok, now how about putting the current discussions back on the right side of the page? And how about listing the last person to make a comment on the threads? (like it was before)
While we're cruising the threads that one feature makes us want to go from one thread to the next. We see: last comment by so and so 4 minutes ago and we go to see what they wrote. Having that on the same page as a thread will continue to encourage discourse as opposed to having to navigate away from the thread to 'look for' things to get involved with.
Some of our crew have found this particular thread because of key words on Google. When they come directly to Grossed Out, with the last format they could see the current discussions on the right side which made them interested enough to post on those threads also.
The current questions are, no offense intended, not 'organic' in the sense that they appear that you guys are writing them as opposed to actual caregives asking the sometimes odd questions we get here. The uniqueness of the question asked by a specific caregiver compels us to answer.
The questions that are posted there do indeed address concerns of caregivers but they are just not as compelling as the real thing. How about a nice combination of the two?
And, the Facebook 'Likes'... we had all of 15 likes (I know, big deal....) and since you are still interfacing with Facebook, would you please put them back so we can continue to get an idea of how many in the active Grossed Out crew.
Thank you again for providing this forum for caregivers, past caregivers struggling with PTSD, and in some cases the patients themselves as they become educated on their situation and what to expect.
lovbob (flush left!) thanks again Lindsey and the staff at Aging Care.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I wonder if they just gave up trying for that on this thread? LOL!
Hi jam,miz, it must be hard clearing things out and painting. I'm starting to like the new format here, I scrolled up and my writing didn't disappear.
Welcome to you, bpr!! My mom passed away last november but I still hang around on this thread and try to help others who are going through what I went through and to deal with life after care giving. I'm really struggling right now but I know things will get better.
Hubby painted the bathroom walls today. Painted over me and my sister's foot prints my dad put up there when we were kids. I had hubby take pictures of them first. Sad but it had to be painted. He has been working so hard. K, gonna go have a smoke with him. Love yous!!
miz
ssk, I'm still working on my mom's story, I tried to sit and talk with her about her life a little, but I'm afraid it was to painful, she just doesn't have the memories anymore. So, I'll put down what I know about at least.
I take care of my mil, affectionately called col (crazy old lady) and if her food isn't rolling off her fork, it's on her shirt, the floor, her chin, she's pushing it out of her mouth......oh my! Took night meds down and took her to potty to change.....what a mess, she is forgetting to wipe her butt now......so she wants to know just how many times a day she is supposed to change undies....once? Oh for pete's sake, here we go again.
linda.....your former "little friend" will petrify and quit smelling.... I could smell one every time I opened the door to the col house....son pulled the steps down to her ceiling attic access and a petrified little mouse fell out...got caught in the door....that must have hurt...:) maybe you can tell hubby it's time to remodel, starting with the kitchen wall!
Love and Hugz,
Jam
yes i know i hope i dont end up be like that either . its the brain it does alot of damages , sucks ! she prob dont realizes that shes doing it .
welcome ! theres alot of us here that is going thru rough time .
barf kept smelling something dead ! waaa its inthe walls ! mouse got in between the walls and died there , damn it ! now i have to smell it and guess where it is ! its in my kitchen waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. wonder how long does the death smell stays around ? told hubby to rip that wall out ! we have to get that dead mouse outta there , he said oh no idontthink so . ewwww .
- While eating, she'll spit out what is in her mouth from an upright position with no napking or anything to catch the food. Needless to say, Ewww.
- At times, she'll just spit. Out of the blue.
- She does full mouth open wide yawns. I can see her toncils...
- Burping. Really really loudly.
- She has a colostomy. She'll show anyone that inquires. To me, it's like showing someone your anus... and who does that?! Oh, and it doesn't matter who else is in the room... She pulls up her shirt and voila!
- She flirts. She openly flirts with men. So embarrassing to me. You just can't imagine my mortification. Oh and she's not subtle about it.
- She'll say sexual things to her health team members. Example: Her urologist was peering into her lower areas and Mom says "There hasn't been any action down there in decades." Seriously embarrassing.
I can chuckle about it now, but when it happens.... I'm soooo embarresed.
Note: I'm no longer as prissy as I was as a child. I wear pants every day and can smack my gum louder than my nephews. Yes, I've relaxed in my old age. But, lordy, I pray I never relax to my Mom's degree.
Hey Rossella!! I'm really putting the arm on it.
(Rossella knows all about polishing bronze and brass and copper.... )
lovbob
boat time in real time!
thank you everyone for being here.
lovbob
C'mere kid and let me show you a trick.
Then show him how to scrub a baseboard.
toothaches sux. Got any Ambusol (sp) ?
got any root pain killem tonic?
Get your tooth fixed and give the dentist payments.
he should be so lucky and tell him to roll with the new economy.
Once again, congratulations on getting your house. Be patient with yourself and all of that crap will be behind you and you will be planting lilacs before you know it.
love you Miss Miz. a lot.
As bad as it seems you have to second by second make the choice for the sunshine so it becomes habit and you don't let stuff get to you so bad.
It's a bear to do but I swear to you on a stack of Vogues, it works.
ok, back to spanking the bell.
lovbob
love,
miz
Getting used to the new format, so I think it will be okay.
Nothing new today.....yet.
Love and Hugz,
Jam
Now I am gonna go make a sign for the MLK March Part two, the response to the Neo-Nazi moron who put a bomb on a park bench to kill the marchers the first time! Team Martin Luther King!!!
Stay same everyone...
AC, you guys rock.
lovbob
I have to tell you how proud I am personally for your decision to hit the books for a degree in order to represent the needs of caregivers.
That is so inspiring to so many of us.
AND when school is driving you nuts please make sure you vent about it HERE!!
love ya buddy.
lovbob
So Thank You AC, the improvements are much appreciated!
I also strongly miss the Current Discussions option. As Bobbie said, It was an easy and compelling way to encourage involvement in other discussions that I would most likely miss if forced to search for them.
AC, it's getting better! thanks Lindsey! Text format is huge! As well as the font size in the comment box. Thanks for setting it to rights.
ok, now how about putting the current discussions back on the right side of the page?
And how about listing the last person to make a comment on the threads? (like it was before)
While we're cruising the threads that one feature makes us want to go from one thread to the next. We see: last comment by so and so 4 minutes ago and we go to see what they wrote. Having that on the same page as a thread will continue to encourage discourse as opposed to having to navigate away from the thread to 'look for' things to get involved with.
Some of our crew have found this particular thread because of key words on Google. When they come directly to Grossed Out, with the last format they could see the current discussions on the right side which made them interested enough to post on those threads also.
The current questions are, no offense intended, not 'organic' in the sense that they appear that you guys are writing them as opposed to actual caregives asking the sometimes odd questions we get here. The uniqueness of the question asked by a specific caregiver compels us to answer.
The questions that are posted there do indeed address concerns of caregivers but they are just not as compelling as the real thing. How about a nice combination of the two?
And, the Facebook 'Likes'... we had all of 15 likes (I know, big deal....) and since you are still interfacing with Facebook, would you please put them back so we can continue to get an idea of how many in the active Grossed Out crew.
Thank you again for providing this forum for caregivers, past caregivers struggling with PTSD, and in some cases the patients themselves as they become educated on their situation and what to expect.
lovbob (flush left!) thanks again Lindsey and the staff at Aging Care.