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Mercy, what a crazy day for some of you. Ted, see there was no need for me to get a "prize" as it should go to you and stillstanding from the crap ya'll have had to put up with. Me? I would have gotten myself arrested!!!!!! How awful and stressful for you both. I can not begin to imagine that kind of stress on top of everything else.
Ted, let everyone know how things turned out and what decisions you made legally. Hoping for the best outcome. Hugs to everyone.
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Loved the idea of the doctor's coat!!! Glad he enjoyed it...
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Afternoon everyone! Home and trying to get caught up on all the posts........I hate reading that some of you have all these extra burdens piled on your shoulders.....as if what's there isn't enough already....
Ted....I must agree with some of the others....sister witch didn't show up just because she misses her mother and wants to visit with her....she is up to no good. Would your mother remember if sw tried to get her to sign something? I would have an attorney get a judge to sign off on a restraining order before she tries something that can't be reversed.
Christina.....you're a hoot! I was thinking "moisten" with water, but after you said that I'm not so sure now the col wouldn't try something else! Her hair hangs several inches past her shoulders, hangs in her eyes, and generally just looks like a mouse has been living in there for a while. I have tried countless times to get her to put it up but she won't. I put a clip in it on bath day, when we don't wash hair, and have to tell her the back is still damp so leave it until it dries. Otherwise right down it comes. In her mind she sees herself as very young....each time she washes her hands she comments about those "funny lines" on her arms....those would be called wrinkles and we all get them sooner or later...:)
Hubby's informal retirement "get-together" last night was wonderful....about 25 friends showed up to have dinner and of course a few tears were shed....they got hold of one of his doctor's coats and they all signed and wrote him sentiments all over it. I will get him to take some pics and post them on FB....it is hilarious! Sat down at a penny machine last night and put in $20...walked away with $128....so that was a good evening. A little over a month and we will be in Vegas for our Spring trip...can't wait.
Going to try for a short nap, then have to get some bills paid and get back into meds and changing the col.....sure enjoyed a couple of days without that....:) Hugz to all of you!!!!!
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Hi guysTed I am so sorry for what you are going through you are POA that should be all you need to keep thatb ---- away from you get an order of protection that keeps her away from your home Deefer can you get samples of meds from your docs my NP gives me a bag of meds when I see her or maybe the drug companies will give you meds free when you explain your situation a friend got cancer treatments for free when her husband lost his job-they get a lot of good publicy out of it-here most companies say if you can not pay for the meds they may be able to help-it might be worth asking.
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Great! Very cathartic for me... People couldn't believe that I would talk about this and not try and hide it under the bed. My response was that I truly never want anyone to go thru what happened to me and my parents. It was devastating but made me so much stronger than before. Plus, it was nice to know I was (am) sane, LOL As a matter of fact, it was picked up by other newspapers and on the internet, any eduation we can have on that law in all states is beneficial. Caregivers especially need to be aware that some siblings will do anything! Ted and I are proof of that... Oh, just one note left out , when we went to court my sister got on the stand and said to the Judge; "And, frankly your honour, I don't even think mom has Alzheimer's." How would she, she's never been around anyone with it, including my precious little mom!
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`Still Standing ~
What madness!
How'd the newpaper gig work for you?
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Ted, as a CPA and prior victim of fraud from family and other abuse, take a few preventive steps NOW. You can put a fraud watch with the credit bureaus to prevent any new credit card or bank accounts being opened with your mother's info. My husband's parents used my husbands info in the past to get a phone so they wouldn't have to pay a deposit when their credit was bad. Which meant THEIR bankruptcy got tied to OUR credit by the bureaus until we won that fight. You can also talk with a elder care lawyer about putting an announcement in newspaper with your conservatorship that no new accounts or debts can be created for this person. If you don't have a trust for your mom, consider getting one created and transfer her assets to make sure no one else can get at them without at least a pause to verify signature. Once money or property is gone, it's hard to get back.
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Ted, a reality check here.... No one just shows up from New York and takes mom out for coffee for two hours!!! Something is up!!!!! Please be careful.
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Ok, now I'll take a deep breath for you!!! And me, think I need a drink, LOL
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Ok, guys I'm going to tell you now what my estranged little sister did to me on December 29, 2008!!! A knock on the door, sheriffs' department. Was taken into state cutody for possible suicide and homicidal thoughts.. Yea, I moved back from Atlanta to care for my parents and I'm going to kill parents then myself!
My sister had me locked up in a mental hospital here for evaluation. She thought that they sent you somewhere for six months, thank you, after one meeting with the head psych, was found that I was perfectly "SANE". Had to pay tens of thousands of dollars afterwards. It went to court (State Probate) to legally release me. And spent four days in the ward!
Oh by the way, in every state, it is legal for ANYONE to walk into the probate court and make erroneous charges and they pick you up for evaluation. Can't sue them though cause they say it has to be done. Oh well, had the agent asked one simple question to my "sick little sister", it would have been, "Now, in the past year alone what have you seen to make this charge?" If she had answered with the truth, it would have been: I live two hours away and only come up once a year for four hours for Christmas to cause problems with the family and go back with a smile on my face." Ted, all she wanted to do was to bury me and keep me away from caring for my parents, it's called, "SIbling Rivalry!" She is still estranged, however, guess what? She called out of the blue this morning to say she is coming up for a visit in two weeks with a friend. Don't think I won't be here now, was going to leave for the day because I truly don't ever want to lay eyes on her but after what you are going thru, oh Hell yeah, I'll be here!!!
The DA still pursued me wanting to charge her with false arrest but I couldn't do it. And because she has no money, couldn't sue her for lost wages, public embarrassement, etc.
I waited one full year and took my story to the newspaper to let others know that anyone can have anyone put in a mental institution for any of their reasons... Trying now to get this law changed for those in the present and future won't have to go thru what I and my parents did!!! GOD bless you friend, hang in there strong. And yes, it would help, I think, if you call the police and have them witness her bringing her back home to see how your mother left without proper clothing and without her teeth, etc. Call an attorney, now! Oh, and by the way, sister still hates me for all her unhappiness! I'm the problem was she's is depressed, give me a break, Lord!
Ted, my reward will be in Heaven when GOD asks her, "and, where were you when your sister needed help?" Don't think he won"t ask that same question to your pathetic sister... We all (caregivers) will someday be rewarded! Big hugs to you!!!!!!
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deefer, Maybe we could trade places for a week. It would be the sos but with different faces. And you are right about the full moon. Ruth is a loon and then i become one from the stress. I finally convinced the daughter to take her to the Dr. She has not had a check up since her last UTI. I am going in with them, whether the daughter likes it or not. Ruth does not do well on Seroqel at all. There has to be something for those crazy days. She is fine now, will be until the next full moon. I don't want her overmedicated by any means. But on her crazy days she is always trying to leave. She fights everything I try to do, won't eat anything but junk. Anyway try to get some rest and some alone time. You do know if you start yelling at the top of your lungs, they will at least leave you alone until the shock wears off.
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hi there . sorry i havent put in a word or 2 lately . i do read faithfuly everyday then get up and zoom again .
my mind just been sleeping , blank ... dont know what to say ,, wanted to say hi but couldnt ...
ted- im so sorry you had a horible times , freakin out and so many crazy thoughts loomin thru ur brain . am wondering was ur mom happy to see her daughter ? glad daughter brought her back home so now ure at ease . hope u do get everything the way it suppose to be and no worries afterwards . i am so sory , i felt ur panic !
gloomy out sprinkle lit snow then goes away , good . im ready for spring warm weather . i looke din my flower beds oh oh i see tulips is trying to grow . then see alot of black holes , oh i dont wanna look too hard .
miz- hope ur hubby finds a home for u both soon . be like that show house hunters , find 3 and have a choice which one ya want . oh hell i wanna look more ! so 30 houses to look sounds alot better than 3 ! sure hope it all works out well for ya , first time homebuyers u will get a hallva deal . tax break blah blah .. i dont know ifthey still do that or not ? my gfriend bought a house and got a check for 8 thousand , put half in bank for something that breaks down and got her a car she needed one so bad . so it all works out good for her . house pyament was cheaper than her rent ! only thing she didnt like was water bill and the house she rented was well so now ater bill . she freake dout now she has water bill and its 80 bucks a month she said ugh its just me only why so high ! told her to stop takin baths or shower lol .
ok you all have a wonderful day .
bobbie- we miss you ... xoxox
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Hi everyone. Big hugs all around. You guys are the BEST.

Grandma is up and sitting in her chair, she generally has a strange, much worn look to her features after she has had some kind of event. But she seems to be in good spirit even if she looks tired.

My back is ACHING today so I was trying to stretch it using the seated stretch. This where you hang your body over your knees, keeping your bum pressed back to the back of the chair. As I adjusted my pose to deepen the stretch, my knees opened and I stretched my hands to the floor.

Grandma is seated in her chair opposite me telling me the story of her family's cow...(901,752). She's off and running and just as it seems like NOTHING can stop her from racing to the end of the story, she says, "HEY...are you trying to kiss your ass goodbye?"

All I can say is if she does that again, I'm going to slip or herniate another disc. That was HILARIOUS. Thank you grandma that was a gift for me.

Story time: I swear this is reality TV.

Our social worker is on the way...my mom is on a banana peel so this should be a very interesting meeting. Her anxiety is WAY up there, because 1) It snowed, iced, and generally covered our home in delicious winter crap. Mom and grandma are both weather freak-a-zoids 2) Grandma's health has been a worry for the past two days. 3) Mom's best friend just called from some tropical island and asked my mother to pick her and her husband up from the airport at 8:10pm tomorrow evening, (I guess her own son is stuck in a tar-pit, he lives at home) they've had to come back early because of a dental emergency for her husband. This means that Mom needs me to watch grandma even though she knows that I have other plans. She's already phoned my father and asked him to accompany her on the trip because she hates to drive at night.

So what does mother do? She writes me a note and puts it on my bed making sure to direct the light to spotlight the paper...there is NO way you can possibly miss the note. Hubby and I come home and read the note. We should be used to these unplanned, immediate need granny sitting sessions, since we moved in this happens all the time...but I have company coming over on Wednesday. So now I'm going to try and entertain my company around bathroom runs and hijacked conversation. Grandma's "I thought my mother was a Queen" is going to be stamped all over any other conversation we could possibly have AND I'm going to put her to bed while my company is here. AWKWARD!

So I brace myself and start up the steps. Instead of griping out loud I'm just muttering to myself. I get to the top of the step and throw the door open. I'm amazed to see my mom scrambling to keep her balance as she tips towards the counter trying to look like she was reading coupons. She had placed the note, waited for us to come home, and then listened to everything we'd said from the moment we read her little note with her ear pressed against the door. REALLY? Seriously?

*Sigh* So what do you think I'm more pissed about? The unplanned granny-sitting session...OR...the ear pressed to the door. Privacy is definitely missing when you move into someone else’s house to help with care.

I told her next time, to press a glass against the door and then put her ear on that, and then she could better hear my footsteps, which would aid her in moving in time so she’d look more casual about her eavesdropping. Alternatively she could also install surveillance equipment that way she could get visual as well as auditory confirmation of my reactions to her notes and have a ring-side seat for any other extra-curricular activity she may have a desire to listen to.

TED! Glad you checked in. Sorry to hear about Mom's set-back. It sounds like we are in TIA land together. Big hugs of support!

Miz: Still praying for MIL and that one of 30 houses turns into a dream.

Christina: You are so awesome. I've been inspired by your words. We recently had a minor plumbing problem that left grandma without a sink in her bathroom, so I feel for you deeply. Water coming up through the floorboards sounds like so many more levels of BLARGH. I hope your problem is fixed soon or it sounds like Bobbie will have to come and fish you out.

Ladeeda Chaquita: Enjoy those moments with Ruth. You deserve a break from fruit and table-setting trauma. You must be amazed.

Peach: Still praying for your family too.

Cuz: Thank you for the giggles. When all else seems dark and dreary, you are a light with your humor.

Sskape: Glad you checked in! Hope all is well.

Jsome: I hope you have sweet dreams and a restorative rest. My own mother says I can stick her in a catholic facility when it is her turn. She'll probably have a glass embedded in her brain from all her eavesdropping by then. We'll see how it goes.

Hugs to everyone! Jam, Rossella, Wuvs, and whoever else I missed.

Time to fill in the Social Worker.....I wonder how much time she has? Tee hee!

Laters...HB
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Geez Ted!!! WTF???
Best you do see your lawyer and get everything straight. Who knows how long your sister will hang around. Maybe she is finally getting in trouble for stealing your inheritance and is trying to get Mom on her side.
Ladeeda, My mom is like the person you care for. She never stops moving and getting into things! Merry and I are at the end of our patience and hope her March visit with the neurologist will get us some new meds to calm her down! As for the banana and the kitchen knives....
HB, Congrats on your trip to India! How exciting for you! Enjoy every minute! Just spent 2 hours catching up on posts and I must say, you have and Jen have a gift!!! Keep on writing!!!
Christina, Mom 100mgs of seroquel? Does she wake up okay? Mom couldn't function on 25mgs.
Miz, sorry about your MIL.Hope things work out for her. Happy Birthday, and hope you find the perfect home!
Pirate, You will find your mom much improved when she is rid of the cursed UTI!!! Have feared for Mom's life many times in the past 5 years, only to find out she had a UTI.
Maxine, Have fun on your dates!
SSK, Hope you are doing well.
Peach, Nice logos for the boat! Is Larry still getting nauseous?
Dennis is now home all the time and it is driving me bonkers!!! The little free time I had before, is now completely gone! The TV is always on and the noise drives me insane. I don't usually have it on all day! Looks like it will be a few weeks before he gets an unemployment check, so things are tight to say the least! Mom's Long term Care checks are late, so I had to pay Merry with our money. Don't know what will happen to us with health insurance.
Last week Mom was completely off the wall because of the full moon!!! My Fil came home from 2 weeks in rehab, only to go back to the hospital for a week due to a bad case of c-diff! My SIL is a complete idiot when it comes to his care. Now my husband is checking on him twice a day and I am cooking meals so that he gets good nutrition. SIL is retired and a widow. She does not want to be tied down by her father and does not check on him enough. Dennis is going to hid dad's doctor appt. with him this afternoon. He's had it with his sister's stupidity!!!
As you can well guess, the black hole looms very close by in my world and I really could use a one way ticket out of here!!!
In the mean time, it's up to my eyeballs in shit and pissy diapers and all kinds of other grossness!!! Oh yeah, there is also the mound of bills looming over my head and the worry of how we are going to pay for 9 scripts without insurance!
Oh, there was one bright moment in the last week. My daughter got her new cellphone- do it all thingy- and found a free app for fart noises! Yep, you heard right! I played with that thing for an hour and laughed my ass off! maybe we could come up with a poop app! We could use HB's descriptions.
Anyway, felt like touching base with all of you,(I know I missed a lot of you), don't be offended if I missed you. My brain is turning to mush and trying not to think too much right now.
I hope all of you are enjoying whatever free time you have!
I will try to keep in better touch, but I don't have much access to the computer now!
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I have poa but it's not enough against this kind of sh*t. SHE ACCUSED ME OF HOLDING MOM HOSTAGE BECAUSE i WOULDN'T IMMEDIATELY SHOVE HER OUT THE DOOR. I need FULL authority of I will not continue with this. It's hard enough, as you all know dealing with sane people, this is just too much. Ok I'm going out the door to cool down and try to get back to some kind of sane perspective.
Thanks, again, Love you all.
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good idea, Ted.
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OMG Ted...... What a nightmare for you,,,, I can not even imagine.... Honestly dont know what to say.... easier said than done, but try to stay calm....... i know you probably cant because i sure could not....... I am so sorry for what you are going through....... hugs hugs hugss.
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Ted, if you are poa then the law is on your side. Did you call the bank??
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making mom lunch then I have to go down to the localbank branch, need to get out this house for a bit.
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I keep asking mom where thief took her and she keeps saying nowhere, nowhere, so now Im worried again. If I don't get full gaurdianship, I will refuse to be poa anymore and give this up. I can't take all this crap on top of everything else.
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Peach's ideas. We were chatting.
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hey Ted ~

You did great! Made BOAT time too.

Call when you've covered your local bases. I don't want to tie up your phone.
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No, she probably wouldn't know what happened and Yes, great idea, I'll call the bank now.
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Ted, perhaps a restraining order??
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No, she probably wouldn't know what happened and Yes, great idea, I'll call the bank now.
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Miz, Thanks, Thanks, everyone. I didn't say a word or even look her in the face. I will NOT allow this to happen again, I missed two appts this morning. I have to cut her AND my brothe out of my life. If they ever want to see her (probably in another 20 yrs) they will have to contact me FIRST or they will be arrested for tresspassing. period.
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Ted, can you call the bank and check on things??
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Ted, would your mom remember what happened while she was away? Where did she say they went??
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ok moms back home, thief is gone.Mom says she didn't make her sign anything or go to the bank or anythind like that. It was good the cops saw them on the way out. I have an appt thurs with lawyer. enough of this BS. Thanks for being here guys, I am still freaked but much relieved.
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Ted, when you sis shows back up, don't do anything you will regret no matter how mad you are. Mom does not need you in jail. Just sayin'.

love,
miz
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