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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My neighborhood we have "uncle Larry", often have to stop for him and his goat crossing the street oh ya and the DUI on his mode of transport (riding lawnmower)!!!
Hello everyone, happy St Patty's Day....got the corned beef going in the crockpot, taters carrots and cabbage all ready to go and we are going to have green lemonade, too! I might actually be able to enjoy this meal! although it might be tomoro, how late I got it started....will see!
Hope you all are hanging in there and make the best of the week! XOXOX to you all!!! Peace, Juju
Cuz, where I live no one would notice any of that stuff. We have Crazy Ray, he stands on the side of the street all day threatening to jump in front of a speeding cars. Has been doing it for years. Tourists get a little freaked out still. Then there is the lady pushing her shopping cart around town, wearing her aluminum foil hat (so the government spy planes can't see her). I guess that is why I moved here, I just fit right in.
I never eat or drink anything at my mother's apartment. She stopped showering years ago, and now doesn't bathe. She doesn't wash her hands either because the same soap (always dry) has been in her soap dish for at least 4 months. She's obsessed with her bowels, overuses milk of magnesia, gets diarrhea, has to wear depends sometimes because of it. All I can imagine is getting an intestinal infection from her hands or anything she touches. She's forgotten how to use the dishwasher, so unless we run it, I know she "rinses" out without soap and puts back in the cupboard her silverware and dishes. Ugh
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,' . . . I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' . . . replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes , Seattle , WA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ' How long have you been bedridden? ' After a look of complete confusion she answered, 'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis , OR
I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . . ' So how's your breakfast this morning? ' 'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' Bob replied. I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced A foil packet labeled ' KY Jelly. '
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf , Detroit
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered .. . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. While she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . . 'Keep off the grass. '
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn. '
Submitted by RN, no name
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . ..
As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB. I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. . .I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . . 'No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . . 'Oh, I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener.'
Dr. wouldn't submit his name...
1 MORE Baby's First Doctor Visit
This made me laugh out loud. I hope it will give you a smile!
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
So on the socket front...two more much larger chips came out yesterday that I found, not sure how many are just getting washed away but I am astonished now that they would leave so much in there when pulling the darn tooth. You would think they could fish around in there and clean it out while numbed up? Every time I am in they are so quick I don't think they are being thourough.... I had issue on the initial appt to do the filling that started this as there was another tooth next over that needed work too and the could not do it...only strict amount of time for each appt due to all the new people that got healthcare like I did. they are overwhelmed and overloaded. I just didn't understand why making me come back again and fill a room/ chair /set up and the shots again when 10 more minutes and they could have done both.... but they cannot waiver from the time policy...so now thinking back on each and every appt...they sure were rushing thru....I remember when he finally got the tooth out, he jumped up and sed done, he did not spend much time in there cleaning up, could all this pain have been avoided had he???? I am not happy but it is free???? good grief.....
Jen Enjoy every minute you can till then…xoxox ! I love the hearing about your horses, Meanwhile and the boat bobbie….takes me away for a bit I haven’t been on a horse but a hands count something hit me in your post about getting out for a ride and I just pictured myself galloping away….how great that must be, to just be able to go saddle up and get away!!
And you too bobbie your boat and freedom to go wherever your heart desires sounds so awesome. And it got me to thinking of scuba again and I just drifted away in a daydream of scuba diving somewhere warm and tropical!!! Just floating along effortlessly in a current and observing everything at work on the reef passing before my eyes….Making me thing of the aftermom plan might need to be a RV!???
The tidbits had me cracking up! Haven’t heard that term before.
Cuz, Mom grew up in Wisconsin. It is funny I guess because she is normally not very animated, the way she reacts if Wisconsin winters comes up she sure remembers those and wants no part of it!!! Stay warm!
Deef good to hear from you, ughhh family funny how people can be so selfish. I am still so hurt and heartbroken (but not surprised) by the behavior of my siblings in dad’s passing !!! Ergo my decision to get far away from them. Although lonely and stressful it is not due to them anymore, or maybe it is, cuz their behavior (along with the EX) pushed me to make a hasty not well thought out decision to do this alone….anyway I feel your pain and hurt there. Mame… good for you I know it sounds bad and you feel bad about not seeing her but a break from mom is good for you! Hope the son continues to recover well! Sharyn… That does sound like a fun party! How exciting, not just a grandchild but twins!!! Austin How are things going with your sweetie? Stay warm!
I think I might actually be starting to distress a bit now that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel close to getting our home back together. I feel I can maybe start to expand my mind past just getting thru the day. We had been through a rough time when I got to this site last may and it kept on coming…I think it was one of the most difficult years ever, very eventful/turbulent but for the good as well as some of the not so good. I have noticed real changes in me some that I had been trying to do for so long and thru this process just happened with no effort, some still need lots of work… I know I am much better equipped because of the support and outlet here at AgingCare!!! Anyway, I cant remember when I felt the way I did with those daydreams of getting away, just relaxed and in the moment, I was there!!!! I am always so dang stressed about everything that was good I need to just veg out like that more often, almost an epiphany…..it is the only way I will get away, using my imagination, rather than using that energy to dwell on the trapped feeling! I have been thinking how nice it will be to have some space back to break out my beading and get some therapy there, I can play with that stuff for hours once I get started, I even found myself several nights at 3-4AM before I even realized it! Having to say put the beads down they will be there tomorrow! Maybe that is why I don’t start sometimes(before house issues) cuz I know I have other things to do to survive, but I am realizing that must make time for things that stimulate your intellect as well are important!! I have been postponing my DR appt /tests they need before referring me off to real therapy…I need to get that going too…I keep forgetting to go get my blood tests done, sneaks up on me and then I have to resked, done it 3 times now ughhh….next one is couple weeks I will make sure I get it done! I agree we all need some spring time! The trees are blossoming here, my bulbs are coming up and it is not darkening at 4:30pm anymore. Yihaaa!!!! It is supposed to jump way up to almost 70degrees on Saturday, just for the day??? I’ll take it, timing will be good need to clean out the garage! Thank you everybody for putting up with my whining and complaining…..It is so hard sometimes being so isolated. I really do love reading and catching up on you all, even If I don’t comment on it.. I am just so spent/braindead most of the time. XOXOXO to you all! Have a great weekend all!! Peace Juju
PS…Speaking of the whining the construction on the hill behind me a while back looks to be just a single home but their driveway up to the lot does cut right thru my little canyon view , they had to pack/fill then graveled it on top, not tooo bad as least it is not a structure!
Deef good to hear from you-the winter has been horrible here also and more snow predicted for next week-still lots of snow on the ground-still can not get to my bird feeders to fill them .
Yep, got sick again, he is well, but from what little mom says he is not supposed to get in or out of his wheel chair or bed etc without help...A good (bad) sign I am hoping...His coming back here, will put me back in the psych ward I swear...
Paid and busy is good deef but you do need a break too! Thinking of you! Sending SPRING!!! Jen
Been hiding a bit here. Winter doldrums and busy with Blanche. She is having full blown hallucinations now. Another symptom that her carotid arteries are getting more blocked. Had to cover her bedroom mirror with towels because she sees "him" watching her when she goes to bed. She thinks the people on TV are in her house and she waves to them and laughs when they do. Going to have to have a talk with my BIL sooner rather than later. I don't think she will be able to stay alone much longer. She's still okay with her meds and personal hygiene. I do the mail and pay her bills etc. I have lunch with her every other day and make enough food for the next day. She hasn't used the stove in forever. Does okay reheating in the microwave. Loves her sweets and ice cream and goes through a jar of my homemade raspberry jam every 3 or 4 weeks. I guess I'm just ready for all this care giving to be done! If I didn't need the $$ I get from my BIL, I would be able to move on. So far we have been shelling out about $1250 every 4 weeks for fuel. Going to hit $7000 this year for the heating season. Got so many things that need to be done in this big old house, but all my $$ is tied up in keeping it going. There never seems to be any left for repairs. Although there is no mortgage, it cost $16000/year just for heat, water, taxes, trash pickup and insurance. With both of us having to start Social Security at 62, there isn't a whole lot of $$ coming in. I'm short one rent since Mom passed and we were already behind because of having to quit my job 6 years ago to care for Mom. Mame, so sorry to hear your husband is still out of work. At least mine was old enough to collect SS when his unemployment ran out. Hope he finds something soon. It's so hard to recoup the losses. Hope your son's surgery went well. Sounds like mom is doing well and you have a bit of time for yourself. Okay, that was fun! NOT!!! Blanche called in a panic. She couldn't get the TV to shut off. Was getting the grey snowy picture. Had to go out in 15 degree, wind howling weather to go rescue her. Even though the sun was out this afternoon, it was too cold to melt the ice and snow from last night and this morning. My husband's car doors were frozen shut and it took me 10 minutes to scrape the ice off the windows. Then the drive across town and a quick touch of a few buttons and a few reassurances and orders to get to bed and I am back! I'm getting too old for this sh!t!!! Tuesday was beautiful, sunny and close to 60. Yesterday rain and this crap again today! I'm ready for spring!!! Meanwhile, I hear ya about the wind and dust! The trees were bending way over today and my dust was the nasty, swirling white stuff. Cuz, you sure had it tough this winter too! Juju, know that feeling! Hope the pain is better. Blanche's top teeth are all broken down to the gums. There is no way she could go through any major dental work at nearly 97. Forget dentures too! I can't get her to leave her hearing aids in or to stop playing with them. Truthfully, I think she takes them out so she won't hear the voices talking to her on the TV. Hey Austin! How's things in NY? You're only a couple hours from here, so we get a lot of the same weather. Been doing a lot of "therapy" knitting. Keeps my hands and mind busy. Jen, You have another cold? Sure hope FP never gets well enough to come back home. It's the last thing you and your mom need! Congrats on the niece's baby. Kuli, you too! Sharyn, Twins, wow! Twice the fun for you. The party sounds like lots of fun. I've been getting some baby time with my best friends granddaughter! She works full time and helps with Maybrie on Monday afternoons for a couple hours. She calls me over for tea because she knows how much I love babies! She's more into toddlers and has little patience when the 8 week old is fussy. So I get to hold her and walk the floor to get her to sleep while I'm there. Love them at any age, but especially when they are little and cuddly! Bobbie!!!!! Lots of boat work going on down there! Are we having fun yet? Trying to get my act together here so that I can get down to you for a visit and see that magnificent boat! Still hoping to get back out to Seattle and see Rip again and this time I will definitely drag Jen to join us. It's been almost 8 months since Mom passed and I'm still disorganized, sleepless and at a loss when it comes to my own life. It's not so much the missing the person you cared for, but the getting back on with life after 6 years of care giving. The body just can seem to adjust and not be always at the ready for the "other shoe to drop". I talk to my older sister in VA. all the time. Blanche is her MIL, and my youngest brother who is going through a rough divorce. He's 17 years younger than me and calls to talk to me when he needs support. My other sibs I haven't seen since X-mas. I guess they aren't interested in any of Mom's things. They got the good jewelry and there share of what little was left in $$. While I'm struggling to keep the family home, they are all vacationing somewhere warm or buying a new car. I have to get Mom's checkbook back from my youngest sister, POA, so I can get everything to the accountant to do Mom's taxes for the last time. Anyway, that's what's going on in my life right now. Sorry I've been hiding again, been staying away from the computer hoping I'll get inspired and start to clean things up here. So far It's been dealing with the weather and trying to keep up with Blanche. Here's hoping better days are coming for us all! Love Deef!!!
Thanks Meanwhile....Just got back. Actually pulled a couple tiny bone fragments out of last nite and this morning the swelling and pain was down a bit. I wish I saw your post first, I would have insisted on an Xray....anyway he said yes "glad I came, it is infected, most likely is fragment working/worked their way out" and gave me A/B's.. Fingers crossed this is the end of it!! It's just gross right now, a icky oozy mess making me disgusted! Their is the gross post for the day!!!
Juju, that sounds bad. I've worked for the same dentist for 11 years now. He would have done a better job for you. That is all I can say. Too bad you don't live closer. Is there any other dentist in your area? I'm wondering if he missed part of the root? Make them take an X-ray. Cuz, I think I'll take my dust storm. Keep those tidbits warm. Speaking of tidbits, just got back from the hospital with the neighbor. Turns out the surgery was on his tidbits. Poor guy road home in the car sitting on an ice pack. He probably should have stayed overnight at the hospital. His son is supposed to be watching him, and is nowhere around. I'm going back to check on him. He had been putting off taking care of his teeth for years (afraid of the dentist). The surgeon made him go before the surgery, My boss had to pull 12 teeth on the poor guy. He hasn't had any problems with the extractions. But, can't eat much. So I'll try and take him some soup and pudding this afternoon.
good grief....this socket is a nightmare, that cauliflour like thing growing out of it is an abcess....I finally took a good look at it this evening as it has been hurting quit a bit today again. So I guess back to dentist for the 7th time tomoro. I am now officially annoyed!!
yeah, my sister keeps tons of toothbrushes and stuff as my mom is always dropping them in the toilet or in the garbage then tries to use it. ... Mouthwash please... I am going to throw up. Lol
Well after having 50 degrees yesterday and 40 today it will be -15 tomorrow morning with a high of 24. I will definitely be checking the tidbits in the afternoon. Hugs to everyone. luvCuz
It has been warm and nice here, been sneaking off for some horseback riding. But, today was 50 mph winds, and since we haven't had a drop of rain all year, that means dust storm. Have to go wash my hair, feels like a couple pounds of dirt in it. A neighbor has to be at the hospital for outpatient surgery at 6:30 tomorrow. I said I would take him. so better get my hair washed and get to bed.
think I'm with juju hanging in there, hard cold going to oozing stage...I am hoping that is a "Good Sign"...be out a Kleenex soon...wish i was helping with the boat bobbie...or even there just to get in the way and be useless... Mom went for the visit laundry pick up....You know if he knew the place cost $12,000 a month...He might just drop dead for being so cheap... Hope everyone is K and getting better if not, and getting some Spring where ever they are...That is one good thing here, no snow and sun shine!
Good morning, Good to hear from everyone!!! Yes, busy busy this week, plugging away here, nice dryspell and warming up so we started the replacing the roof and I am attempting to replace some paneling myself and lots little details to ready for cabinets and flooring next week...among a ton of other catching up to do. Sure will be nice to have the kitchen back... maybe by end of month most will be done! then I have to paint and put in all the trim and moulding myself. Managed to Fix up my pot of soup and make it edible, lol...hate wasting and I was so looking forward to it. anyway Well the socket is healing up very strangly kinda cauliflouring out and lots of exposed tender areas. still pretty darn sore, hard to eat n drink but manageable. Have a bit of a nasty headache this morning, think that is from the lack of water drinking lately Otherwise just hanging in there, trying to stay sane, lol!! Well contractor is here finally. so my que to get going! Thanks for the updates everyone, have a decent day!!! Peace Juju
Yesterday a boat buddy and I moved my boat into the yard for a bottom job. It was a long day but we made it to my old dock at slack high tide with only about 15 minutes of twilight left.
We ran on the outside and the ocean was like a pond. The further South we got, the more the wind began to pick up and of course the more the waves began to grow. We made it back inside and up the river and hit the yard at the right time because my boat has a deep draft and can only get in there at high tide.
Sharyn, I love the idea of that cake for the party. You guys are going to have a blast.
Mame! Glad your son is doing well after surgery and that you are able to concentrate on him when he needs you. Good to know your mom is in good hands.
Meanwhile! Thanks for asking about me! I love Spring Fever in the animals. You have an amazing world there and I love hearing about it all. Hope you are having fun with Indio and you guys are celebrating Spring as well.
Cuz! We are still here! Hope you haven't frozen your tidbits off and bet you are looking forward to fishing season. Love to my other cuzzez and to your mom.
Jen! What's going on in JenWorld? Are you able to write at all with fp out of the house? He is still in rehab, right? I can't even imagine how nutzoid the whole situation is. I remember how nutzoid my situation was and boy am I glad that is over!
Juju! How is the tooth coming? Ow Ow Ow dry sockets. Have they closed up yet? Hope you are making some kind of progress with the house.
Deef!! What's going on? Are you overwhelmed with Blanche? You are a sweet angel kiddo and I hope you are having some fun somewhere. Send Love to Rip.
All the caregivers past and present, hope you guys are doing the best you can with what you are dealing with.
Intense boat work for a few weeks and then back underway to her next spot.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Hello everyone, happy St Patty's Day....got the corned beef going in the crockpot, taters carrots and cabbage all ready to go and we are going to have green lemonade, too! I might actually be able to enjoy this meal! although it might be tomoro, how late I got it started....will see!
Hope you all are hanging in there and make the best of the week! XOXOX to you all!!!
Peace,
Juju
Hmmm if a hair dryer is all I need cuz I am gonna do it!!! People drive too fast!
How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in retirement.
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars...watch 'em Slow Down!
2. On all your cheque stubs, write 'For Marijuana'!
3. Skip down the street Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
5. Sing Along At The Opera.
6. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
7. When Leaving the Zoo, start Running towards the Car Park, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
8. Tell Your Children over dinner: 'Due to the economy,we are going to have to let one of you go...
9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: my favorite.
10. Go to a large Department store?s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out: “THERE IS NO PAPER IN HERE”!
Send This To Someone To Make Them Smile.
It's called 'therapy'!
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,' . . . I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,' . . . replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ' How long have you been bedridden? '
After a look of complete confusion she answered,
'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR
I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . . ' So how's your breakfast this morning? ' 'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
A foil packet labeled ' KY Jelly. '
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered .. . . It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery. While she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair
had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . . 'Keep off the grass. '
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn. '
Submitted by RN, no name
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . ..
As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and
sheepishly said. . .I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . . 'No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .
'Oh, I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener.'
Dr. wouldn't submit his name...
1 MORE
Baby's First Doctor Visit
This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma,
But I'm glad I came.'
! I love the hearing about your horses, Meanwhile and the boat bobbie….takes me away for a bit I haven’t been on a horse but a hands count something hit me in your post about getting out for a ride and I just pictured myself galloping away….how great that must be, to just be able to go saddle up and get away!!
And you too bobbie your boat and freedom to go wherever your heart desires sounds so awesome. And it got me to thinking of scuba again and I just drifted away in a daydream of scuba diving somewhere warm and tropical!!! Just floating along effortlessly in a current and observing everything at work on the reef passing before my eyes….Making me thing of the aftermom plan might need to be a RV!???
The tidbits had me cracking up! Haven’t heard that term before.
Cuz, Mom grew up in Wisconsin. It is funny I guess because she is normally not very animated, the way she reacts if Wisconsin winters comes up she sure remembers those and wants no part of it!!! Stay warm!
Deef good to hear from you, ughhh family funny how people can be so selfish. I am still so hurt and heartbroken (but not surprised) by the behavior of my siblings in dad’s passing !!! Ergo my decision to get far away from them. Although lonely and stressful it is not due to them anymore, or maybe it is, cuz their behavior (along with the EX) pushed me to make a hasty not well thought out decision to do this alone….anyway I feel your pain and hurt there.
Mame… good for you I know it sounds bad and you feel bad about not seeing her but a break from mom is good for you! Hope the son continues to recover well!
Sharyn… That does sound like a fun party! How exciting, not just a grandchild but twins!!!
Austin How are things going with your sweetie? Stay warm!
I think I might actually be starting to distress a bit now that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel close to getting our home back together. I feel I can maybe start to expand my mind past just getting thru the day. We had been through a rough time when I got to this site last may and it kept on coming…I think it was one of the most difficult years ever, very eventful/turbulent but for the good as well as some of the not so good. I have noticed real changes in me some that I had been trying to do for so long and thru this process just happened with no effort, some still need lots of work… I know I am much better equipped because of the support and outlet here at AgingCare!!! Anyway,
I cant remember when I felt the way I did with those daydreams of getting away, just relaxed and in the moment, I was there!!!! I am always so dang stressed about everything that was good I need to just veg out like that more often, almost an epiphany…..it is the only way I will get away, using my imagination, rather than using that energy to dwell on the trapped feeling! I have been thinking how nice it will be to have some space back to break out my beading and get some therapy there, I can play with that stuff for hours once I get started, I even found myself several nights at 3-4AM before I even realized it! Having to say put the beads down they will be there tomorrow! Maybe that is why I don’t start sometimes(before house issues) cuz I know I have other things to do to survive, but I am realizing that must make time for things that stimulate your intellect as well are important!! I have been postponing my DR appt /tests they need before referring me off to real therapy…I need to get that going too…I keep forgetting to go get my blood tests done, sneaks up on me and then I have to resked, done it 3 times now ughhh….next one is couple weeks I will make sure I get it done!
I agree we all need some spring time! The trees are blossoming here, my bulbs are coming up and it is not darkening at 4:30pm anymore. Yihaaa!!!! It is supposed to jump way up to almost 70degrees on Saturday, just for the day??? I’ll take it, timing will be good need to clean out the garage!
Thank you everybody for putting up with my whining and complaining…..It is so hard sometimes being so isolated. I really do love reading and catching up on you all, even If I don’t comment on it.. I am just so spent/braindead most of the time. XOXOXO to you all!
Have a great weekend all!!
Peace
Juju
PS…Speaking of the whining the construction on the hill behind me a while back looks to be just a single home but their driveway up to the lot does cut right thru my little canyon view , they had to pack/fill then graveled it on top, not tooo bad as least it is not a structure!
Yep, got sick again, he is well, but from what little mom says he is not supposed to get in or out of his wheel chair or bed etc without help...A good (bad) sign I am hoping...His coming back here, will put me back in the psych ward I swear...
Paid and busy is good deef but you do need a break too! Thinking of you!
Sending SPRING!!! Jen
luvCuz
So far we have been shelling out about $1250 every 4 weeks for fuel. Going to hit $7000 this year for the heating season. Got so many things that need to be done in this big old house, but all my $$ is tied up in keeping it going. There never seems to be any left for repairs. Although there is no mortgage, it cost $16000/year just for heat, water, taxes, trash pickup and insurance. With both of us having to start Social Security at 62, there isn't a whole lot of $$ coming in. I'm short one rent since Mom passed and we were already behind because of having to quit my job 6 years ago to care for Mom.
Mame, so sorry to hear your husband is still out of work. At least mine was old enough to collect SS when his unemployment ran out. Hope he finds something soon. It's so hard to recoup the losses. Hope your son's surgery went well. Sounds like mom is doing well and you have a bit of time for yourself.
Okay, that was fun! NOT!!! Blanche called in a panic. She couldn't get the TV to shut off. Was getting the grey snowy picture. Had to go out in 15 degree, wind howling weather to go rescue her. Even though the sun was out this afternoon, it was too cold to melt the ice and snow from last night and this morning. My husband's car doors were frozen shut and it took me 10 minutes to scrape the ice off the windows. Then the drive across town and a quick touch of a few buttons and a few reassurances and orders to get to bed and I am back! I'm getting too old for this sh!t!!!
Tuesday was beautiful, sunny and close to 60. Yesterday rain and this crap again today! I'm ready for spring!!!
Meanwhile, I hear ya about the wind and dust! The trees were bending way over today and my dust was the nasty, swirling white stuff.
Cuz, you sure had it tough this winter too!
Juju, know that feeling! Hope the pain is better. Blanche's top teeth are all broken down to the gums. There is no way she could go through any major dental work at nearly 97. Forget dentures too! I can't get her to leave her hearing aids in or to stop playing with them. Truthfully, I think she takes them out so she won't hear the voices talking to her on the TV.
Hey Austin! How's things in NY? You're only a couple hours from here, so we get a lot of the same weather. Been doing a lot of "therapy" knitting. Keeps my hands and mind busy.
Jen, You have another cold? Sure hope FP never gets well enough to come back home. It's the last thing you and your mom need! Congrats on the niece's baby.
Kuli, you too!
Sharyn, Twins, wow! Twice the fun for you. The party sounds like lots of fun.
I've been getting some baby time with my best friends granddaughter! She works full time and helps with Maybrie on Monday afternoons for a couple hours. She calls me over for tea because she knows how much I love babies! She's more into toddlers and has little patience when the 8 week old is fussy. So I get to hold her and walk the floor to get her to sleep while I'm there. Love them at any age, but especially when they are little and cuddly!
Bobbie!!!!! Lots of boat work going on down there! Are we having fun yet? Trying to get my act together here so that I can get down to you for a visit and see that magnificent boat! Still hoping to get back out to Seattle and see Rip again and this time I will definitely drag Jen to join us.
It's been almost 8 months since Mom passed and I'm still disorganized, sleepless and at a loss when it comes to my own life. It's not so much the missing the person you cared for, but the getting back on with life after 6 years of care giving. The body just can seem to adjust and not be always at the ready for the "other shoe to drop".
I talk to my older sister in VA. all the time. Blanche is her MIL, and my youngest brother who is going through a rough divorce. He's 17 years younger than me and calls to talk to me when he needs support. My other sibs I haven't seen since X-mas. I guess they aren't interested in any of Mom's things. They got the good jewelry and there share of what little was left in $$. While I'm struggling to keep the family home, they are all vacationing somewhere warm or buying a new car. I have to get Mom's checkbook back from my youngest sister, POA, so I can get everything to the accountant to do Mom's taxes for the last time.
Anyway, that's what's going on in my life right now. Sorry I've been hiding again, been staying away from the computer hoping I'll get inspired and start to clean things up here. So far It's been dealing with the weather and trying to keep up with Blanche.
Here's hoping better days are coming for us all!
Love Deef!!!
It's just gross right now, a icky oozy mess making me disgusted!
Their is the gross post for the day!!!
Well have a nice day everyone!
Peace,
Juju
Cuz, I think I'll take my dust storm. Keep those tidbits warm. Speaking of tidbits, just got back from the hospital with the neighbor. Turns out the surgery was on his tidbits. Poor guy road home in the car sitting on an ice pack. He probably should have stayed overnight at the hospital. His son is supposed to be watching him, and is nowhere around. I'm going back to check on him. He had been putting off taking care of his teeth for years (afraid of the dentist). The surgeon made him go before the surgery, My boss had to pull 12 teeth on the poor guy. He hasn't had any problems with the extractions. But, can't eat much. So I'll try and take him some soup and pudding this afternoon.
luvCuz
Mom went for the visit laundry pick up....You know if he knew the place cost $12,000 a month...He might just drop dead for being so cheap...
Hope everyone is K and getting better if not, and getting some Spring where ever they are...That is one good thing here, no snow and sun shine!
Good to hear from everyone!!!
Yes, busy busy this week, plugging away here, nice dryspell and warming up so we started the replacing the roof and I am attempting to replace some paneling myself and lots little details to ready for cabinets and flooring next week...among a ton of other catching up to do. Sure will be nice to have the kitchen back... maybe by end of month most will be done! then I have to paint and put in all the trim and moulding myself.
Managed to Fix up my pot of soup and make it edible, lol...hate wasting and I was so looking forward to it. anyway
Well the socket is healing up very strangly kinda cauliflouring out and lots of exposed tender areas. still pretty darn sore, hard to eat n drink but manageable. Have a bit of a nasty headache this morning, think that is from the lack of water drinking lately Otherwise just hanging in there, trying to stay sane, lol!!
Well contractor is here finally. so my que to get going!
Thanks for the updates everyone, have a decent day!!!
Peace
Juju
lovbob
Yesterday a boat buddy and I moved my boat into the yard for a bottom job. It was a long day but we made it to my old dock at slack high tide with only about 15 minutes of twilight left.
We ran on the outside and the ocean was like a pond. The further South we got, the more the wind began to pick up and of course the more the waves began to grow. We made it back inside and up the river and hit the yard at the right time because my boat has a deep draft and can only get in there at high tide.
Sharyn, I love the idea of that cake for the party. You guys are going to have a blast.
Mame! Glad your son is doing well after surgery and that you are able to concentrate on him when he needs you. Good to know your mom is in good hands.
Meanwhile! Thanks for asking about me! I love Spring Fever in the animals. You have an amazing world there and I love hearing about it all. Hope you are having fun with Indio and you guys are celebrating Spring as well.
Cuz! We are still here! Hope you haven't frozen your tidbits off and bet you are looking forward to fishing season. Love to my other cuzzez and to your mom.
Jen! What's going on in JenWorld? Are you able to write at all with fp out of the house? He is still in rehab, right? I can't even imagine how nutzoid the whole situation is. I remember how nutzoid my situation was and boy am I glad that is over!
Juju! How is the tooth coming? Ow Ow Ow dry sockets. Have they closed up yet?
Hope you are making some kind of progress with the house.
Deef!! What's going on? Are you overwhelmed with Blanche? You are a sweet angel kiddo and I hope you are having some fun somewhere. Send Love to Rip.
All the caregivers past and present, hope you guys are doing the best you can with what you are dealing with.
Intense boat work for a few weeks and then back underway to her next spot.
lovbob