My Dad died at age 69 and my Mom lived alone for a while. Mom moved closer to three of her children and tried to live alone, but was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and became more and more dependent. Yes, I provided most of the caregiving until I could not. My siblings were amazed at my selfishness and anger. Long story short, Mom moved from independent living to assisted living to a locked Alzheimer's unit. Two of my siblings became much more involved with Mom's care and I thank them for their help. Her savings are gone. Her house is sold and money is gone. She has a small pension from my dad and his Social Security, but she is now on Medicaid in a long-term care facility. Her disease has progressed and she seems calm and safe, age 92. My mom was not an easy parent to say the least. Am I angry with her, but not anymore. I actually hate to see her like this. My husband's mother is 91, in a memory unit and his dad, age 95 lives with a daughter. My F-I-L's sense of entitlement is amazing. He is active, able to dress and bathe himself and has a very sound mind. Two of my S-I-Ls and my husband do 99.9% of their parent's caregiving. There are 4 other siblings who do very little. I am also involved with my F-I-Ls care when he visits us on a regular basis. I've just explained how we have all worked tirelessly to get to this point. It is difficult. We have three parents in their mid nineties and each of them is in relatively good physical health. While I thank God for our parents this has not been nor continues to be easy. I am 65 and can see all of this continuing for a very long time. No, we are not the "me" generation. We talk about not being a burden to our children but I wonder how long my caregiving years will last. It is a daily challenge and then some. No real answers, no real questions just a sense that this will never end.
Really, you may not feel this way, but ur lucky at this point. You have two parents in care and the other fairly independent. Think if you had to take care of them in your home. I know, there are still responsibilities but looks like ur have some people that help. You could take a trip. Then you could give a sibling a break. And, you need break. I don't like that I needed to place Mom into a NH. But so far it looks like it may be for the best. She has no idea where she is. As soon as she is on Medicaid, I will be closing up the house and leaving it. It's 125 yrs old and falling apart. She will have no money for taxes or upkeep and with 3 children I am not using my money for a house that may never sell.
My Mom is 90. Her health seems to be failing...but...ever so slowly. Feels like an inch at a time. I see her energy level dropping, her ability to function failing. I can see she has no real quality in her life now.....But, I can see this going on for a long time. My Dad was about this bad...for nearly 8 years!
We just keep doing one day at a time. Try to handle problems as they arise. And pray we never put our own kids in this same situation