How can a caregiver who is just beginning, find out how to do it and what to say and do correctly?? My husband and I have been caring for his parents, who have alzheimers. In Jan we are going to move into their basement and care for them on a daily basis. They are still capable of physically caring for themselves and my father-in-law is in the first stage. We are still working so I will eventually have to get daytime help with thier care. What all do we need to know about this disease and about the legal aspects for care?
Thank you and I will continue to keep on asking and contributing as time goes on. We are determined to bring a little joy into the end of their better days of life.
Also be sure to get your in-law's finances and estate in order while they can still function. You will need Power of Attorney, a Living Will, and a Living Trust if they do not have these. An Elder Law attorney can help you with these. But get this done ASAP if not already done.
Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help. Get friends, neighbors, relatives and anyone else involved. Ask for help with specific tasks like sitting with mom while I take dad to a Dr appointment or pick up some groceries while you are out shopping. People will pitch in if you ask for specific help but will not volunteer if they are afraid they might get trapped into a long term commitment.
I am in total unison with arose4yu & secretsister. My mom moved in with my family after dad died. I had always said that I would do whatever I could to prevent my mom from going into a nursing home. You can have all the love and all the time in the world, but with this illness it is so difficult. They will eventually need 24/7 care, eyes on, as well as them being "totally" dependant on you. Your state should have a program where if they qualify through your Human Services, you can get home services to come in. They base it on income & their level of care needed. They will set them up individually for what is called a "Goold Assessment" to decide how many hours of help they need. Even then, it isn't easy because not only physically, but mentally it will get difficult. My heart goes out to you. Whatever you decide to do, Don't ever beat yourself up mentally when that time comes when you just can no longer care for them. There is so much I want to share with you. Just sit down with your husband and really talk about it. Here is a website called EverydayHealth.com that I receive so much helpful information from. I had just received this information and copied and pasted it here for you. We will be praying for all of you. We are all here for you! This is such an awesome support group. Don't ever hesitate to get on here and just say, I need to talk. I have learned that this website is filled with a special group of caring people. (Just always remember, You & Your Husband need to be taken care of too) I hope this website helps you. Take care & like the others have shared, You are not alone and we are here for you! Here's the article:
What Is Alzheimer's Disease?
Alzheimer's disease is one of the most serious and progressive forms of mental deterioration known as dementia, and the most common type of dementia to affect older people in America. Alzheimer's impacts a part of the brain that controls cognitive function, including memory, comprehension, thought processing, and language capabilities. All people who develop Alzheimer's disease become unable to care for themselves once the condition reaches its final stages. Learn more about how Alzheimer's disease affects the brain and who is at risk for developing it
Alzheimer's is very hard to deal with- even with just one person. If you are both working I don't know how you're going to be able to watch both of them. Alzheimer's in the early stages can include: wandering, fits of anger, confusion. You'll have to retrofit your home for safety and keep a close watch on them. As the disease progresses it can be extremely difficult.
You can go to this national website to find one near you.
http://www.caremanager.org/