My husband has not been completely diagnosed with dementia.(he is 76)
Doctors have started doing the test and waiting for the results of his scan.
He really believes I am sleeping with a guy who lives near us. He said he has seen me with him and seen what we do together. I have never given my husband any reason to think I would do this. We have been together for almost 50 years.
Your husband's disease makes him feel uneasy and afraid. He looks around to see what could be making him feel like that. There isn't anything in reality, because these feelings are caused by the disease itself making his brain malfunction; so to make sense of the feelings his brain grabs on to the nearest real thing (you) and makes up the rest of the picture.
Hence the platitude - which is true but not always comforting - that this is nothing personal. The downside is that, as explained, nothing you can say will correct your husband's current false belief. The upsides are that a) there is nothing you need to feel bad about because there is nothing you have done to deserve this, and nobody will think that there is; and b) that this phase will pass - and I hope for you that it will get its skates on, too.
There's no correcting what a person with dementia thinks. The part of their brain that exercises control over and can distinguish between fantasies, fears, and reality are gone. They really believe these confabulations.
It can take a while for you to find your own way to deal with your husband's state of mind. In the meantime, I hope you have someone to talk with, on whom you can rely and unburden. A therapist could also help.
I guess that was all it took for him to believe I was unfaithful. I had never even looked at another man since we met! Unfortunately, you can prove your guilt but you can't prove your innocence. His accusations wound up destroying a 35 year marriage. Too bad.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is, if a person was inwardly suspicious in the early years, it can come out in dementia when the "social filters" are gone. They also accuse others of stealing, physical abuse, etc. Their poor brains can't distinguish between reality and fantasy.
Please don't pay it any mind. You know that you're faithful. Try to let it pass and not eat at you. If you can't let it go, see a counselor.
I could not believe it the first time he said that to me.
Tonight has been a very difficult time for .
Thank you so much.
It is comforting to know I am not the only one out there with these problems.
albeit I still find it very difficult to deal with.
Hopefull it will get easier with time.
He has never told me that he has seen me with another man but he does check the closets to see if I'm hiding someone. Going through this phase is difficult but after a while you may find that it doesn't bother you as much as it used to. Of course, everyone's emotional response to their particular situation is different.