I love my beautiful mother. But it's toooooo much for me alone! I can't do this for the next 10 yrs or more! It's killing me faster! Severe anxiety, anger, annoyed, chest pains, guilty, but I do love her so much. She however does NOT! IM NOTHING! IM INVISIBLE! IM POOP IN HER EYES! IM ALSO IGNORANT & NOW SELF LOATHING! I PRAY MY SIBLINGS WILL HELP BUT ONE CAN THE OTHER IS HERE & CAN SOMETIMES BUT WILL NOT! JUST NEED 6MTHS OF A BREAK FROM HER!!!!
Where she is. Made transition from AL to LT much easier. I have been doing her laundry but am considering letting the facility since I have seen how their's work.
You really need to be able to give all u have to ur family. Having Mom is just using up energy u need for ur children. Which is a job of its own.
If Mom owns a house and has good equity in the house, and depending on how much care she needs, it might be time to start thinking about Assisted Living, or skilled nursing home. Or even a professional caregiver to come by the house every couple of days to give you time off, if that could be found in Mom's budget.
Otherwise, have Mom sign up for Medicaid. If she qualifies, Medicaid could send an Aide to the house very now and then to help out. That will also give you a break, but it is hard to relax when you are so overwhelmed with the care.
Sounds like your Mom might have dementia by the way she is talking to you, unless she has always been that way most of her adult life. Now if this is sudden, Mom could have an urinary tract infection which can make elders act badly. The test for UTI is very easy, and antibiotics will help clear the UTI.
Maybe your siblings feel it is time to move Mom into a higher care level, thus the reason why they aren't helping. Too often we enable our parents which causes us to change our lifestyle to help Mom keep hers. It's all a personal choice.
My mother sometimes tells me I'm nothing. To me it is just her being mad about her dependent situation. I AM pretty much nothing now except her caregiver. But she should be glad of that or she'd be in a nursing home. She doesn't see that, though. She needs to see herself as the matriarch and me as the willful teenage daughter. I try to let it go past me, but it does irritate me when she yells that I never do anything for her and don't care if she dies. I live with her, so the only thing there is to do is walk away and let her calm down on her own.
People on here will talk about how we should leave and how we should take respite. Those things are much easier to say than to do when dealing with certain personalities that don't want non-family helpers. Still, leaving and taking respite are the best idea. Too bad families don't all pull together when it comes to elder care.