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She has had 6 back surgeries, cancer, and now something called arachnoiditis which gives you constant pain. I have done all the safety things, grab handles in bath, steps to get into bed, and I bought her a wonderful recliner which is where she spends all of her time, eating sleeping. At this point I have been able to handle everything cooking, laundry, bathing, sorting out pills. It would be great to talk to others in similar situations.

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Fasdog, if you can't figure out the profile, no worries, after playing around with the format you will get it. 🙂
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Do you ever get a break?
How do you manage stress?
I've heard that 40& of caregivers die before the loved one due to stress.
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Hi dog, 😆 go to profile, on top you will see a tab that says setting, then under it you will see a tab that says about me.

Hope you and your wife have a good day. Nothing wrong with it doing your own cleaning, I'm sure you have plenty to do.
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Well we talked about that meal stuff, where I live we don't have that benefit but she really like my cooking. She was a great cook one of the many reasons I married her. Growing up being the only boy with a house full of girls my mother taught me how to do everything, cooking, cleaning, ironing, even sewing on buttons. Her theory was to teach me how to be self sufficient without a women. Well thank God she did because now I am able to help my wife when she needs it most. I got off on a tanghin sorry about.
OK, so the one thing I did let go was cleaning of my home, every two weeks two ladies come in and clean the first floor of my home, they don't speak English so all they say is Hi, but they do a nice job.
Question, I went to the profile and all it asked for is name, phone, email, zip is that all I am suppose to do and if not how do I get to wherever I should go?
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You're welcome to vent to the choir here:)

One thing that really helps me out with meals is signing her up for meal deliveries. We use OSF Peace Meals, it's like meals on wheels. Not only is it a nutritious meal, it's also another person for her to interact with besides me.

We also have a housekeeper come in every other week to 'deep clean'. That makes my wife happy. Plus, that's another person to interact with.
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Well first of all I know I am a very lucky guy we celebrated 50 years in March of this year. Ok so I have emergency buttons near the toilet, near here chair, a watch she wears, grab bars in the shower, and to get in the house. Last summer she scared the living hell out of me I came home not finding her in the house but lying in the garden, I thought she was dead. I called 911 and they brought her to the hospital which is how the diagnosis for seizures came about. I try to do everything I can to give her as good a life as I can I hope you don't think I am complaining I just feel as though I need to vent sometimes, cooking, showers, medications, laundry, cleaning, takes a toll on someone, so having folks to be able to communicate with eases things.
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You're a lucky man! Be very thankful for what you do have.

So I assume she's a fall risk?

One thing I did was run a power cord into the bathroom sink base and put a phone land line wireless handset unit in there.
She's used that emergency phone twice already after falling.

What do you do when she does fall?
You need a set routine to work through when she does fall.
Mine goes like this:
Verify she's conscience, lucid and check for signs of a stroke.
Take your time, don't rush and make things worse.
Is there a new pain or bleeding?
Can all toes and fingers wiggle?
Slowly get her laying on her back.
When she's ready, help her sit up.
After she's sat up a few minutes and stable,
stand behind her, bend at the knees and
slip my arms under her arm pits and
when she's ready, lift her to standing.
Hold onto her while she stabilizes herself and
lead her to a chair.
Give her a couple of Tylenols before she gets stiff.
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Her mind is clear, I leave her to go grocery shopping for about an hour, I tell her to stay put until I come back, she had a couple of seizures found her on the floor so that is why I tell her to watch TV and I will be right back. She has a good attitude.
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Is her mind clear and does she have a good attitude?
How long can she be left by herself?

Remember, you count for something in this equation too.
You've got to take care of your own mind, body & soul too.
We can help with all that.

What's your biggest concerns?
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Fasdog, welcome to the forum. You've come to the right place. This forum has been a Godsend for me. Ask any question you want, we are here to give advice on what had worked for us.
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Fasdog, welcome to are forum, nice to have more men here too! When you get time, go to your profile, and fill it out, so we can get to know you better.
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Well Fasdog, you are in the right place if you want to be able to share and ask questions with others that have have either been there done that or are still deep in the throes of caregiving.
This is a forum for caregivers all over the world though the majority are from here in the US.
It sounds like you're doing a great job with your wife, and are figuring things out as you go along. That's what we've all had to do.
I do hope though that you're also taking good care of yourself and doing things that you enjoy as that is very important when caring for a loved one, because you matter too in this equation.
I wish you well as you continue on this journey with your wife. She is very fortunate to have you.
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