I am proud of myself and grandma today. she ate pancakes! I added milk and cheese to her scrambled egg. and I snuck some protein powder in her coffee. she got a shower, the nurse came to visit and everything was clean as far as her bedding and herself. I messed up this week and I couldn't come through for her the other day. I had to ask for help from my family members and everyone was upset and bent out of shape. I was trying to be honest with my mental and physical state and reached out for help. that was the right thing to do. but now my family is freaking out that she may need to be placed somewhere. im trying to not feel guilty and just accept things. I avoid my own problems by focusing on her. and my own problems still come about! I need to remind myself that the reality is that this is too hard , no matter how many good days or good meals or showers she has. im hanging on by a thread. sometimes rock bottom is the wake up call everyone needs. I just want to feel good again and that seems 1) selfish and 2) impossible. I dont want to be the person that says ohh look what I did I stepped up when no one else would look at me!! cuz thats gross and weird and im actually struggling I dont even want praise. anyways. shes OK today and I think my mom is looking into another place again. hanging in there.
You taking care of your mental health is NOT being selfish, it is of utmost importance.
You need to finally stand up for yourself and tell your mom that yes, this is just too much for you and that you now think it best that grandma gets placed in the appropriate facility, where she will receive the 24/7 care she requires and you can get back to not only your life, but to just being your grandmas granddaughter and not her burned out overwhelmed caregiver.
You deserve so much better.
Please do not be a martyr in this situation. If you continue to prop up Grandma in her home because other family members don't want her placed somewhere they they should do what you're doing so that you can leave and have a life like they are currently doing.
If you keep being the solution they'll never want to solve it any other way. Your family need to stop acting like facilities are the end of the world. You burning out trying to care for your Grandma would be the end of *your* world... for a long time.
Do you think your Grandma really wants you to sacrifice your mental health for her sake? I have 3 grandkids. I'd rather die than have that happen to them, or my own kids.
Give notice and let Grandma's own adult children help her solve this problem. Sure, they'll whine and be angry at you for a while but they'll get over it when the sky doesn't fall.
Best of luck looking after yourself now, and good job w gma!
Your doing a great job, and I'm sure you're not doing it for the pats on the back, your a caregiver in your heart, and wants what's best for Grandma.
Just remember your human, humans break without rest and a break, mental and physically. In the long run it might be best if you let mom place grandma, then you can go on with your life, and you can do what's best for Grandma from there, spend time with her, bring her food, and what not.
I'm glad you see that your doing what your doing to keep busy and avoid your problems, I don't see that as a healthy way to deal. Also,maybe your doing so much to advoid moving forward with your life, and it gives you a sense of purpose.
Please put some thoughts into that, and don't fight mom over this. And get some sort of counseling. Caregiveing alone sends many of us into counseling.
Your doing a wonderful job taking care of grandma. If she is in a facility or not, she is one very lucky lady,🙂