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I wanted to let everyone know, Mark is close to death. His kidneys and liver have shut down. They have ceased dialysis and blood pressure meds are no longer working. His heart is about to fail. They will rescind the DNR as he is intubated and on the highest doses of painkillers. He is unconscious and will pass in either hours or days.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Doggiemom, I pray that Mark doesn't suffer and that his family leaves you alone.

One thing I know for certain, NONE OF US knows what we would do in a situation until we are faced with the reality Of being in the situation. His family needs someone to blame and it appears those pick you, that doesn't mean that you have to listen or engage with them.

Glad to read you are not getting rid of your pups for your mom.

Take care of you and try to disconnect from their hateful garbage.
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You are correct Alva there is nothing I can do. He is unconscious and in a coma. The final decision is out of my hands. All I can do is pray for an end to his suffering.
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Mark wanted always to be resuscitated. The simple truth is that it won't work once all is lost. So just let them do it. He is likely, with the intubation, now medicated to the level of almost a coma so he is comfortable. I think the nephew, who is now in charge of carrying forth Mark's wishes the best he's able, should do what brings him personal peace in this.
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Doggiemom I'm so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like much of your anxiety is similar to mine, it's about lack of control, and knowing and understanding that Mark is dieing needs a DNR and not being able to do anything about it and it seems like others are still in a state of denial about Mark.

I hear ya and I'm right there with you, in my life.

You don't have to talk to the SIL, or any of them. I get how hard when you get a phone call not to answer it. But honestly you like me can't change a dam thing! What is talking to these people that seem to want to see Mark suffer , changing. The only thing it changes is makes your anxiety worse. You are a realist . What is all this worry helping, not a darn thing.

Keep us posted doggiemom
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Do no harm.
Avoid futile or burdonsome treatments where you can.

Attempting to do CPR on someone in a severley frail or terminal stage (to me) is all three: harm, futile, burdonsome.

I trust that Nephew finds the right person to easy any confusion he has over a DNR. It is not about 'doing nothing' & never about artificially 'ceasing life'.

It is about avoiding harm & dignity.
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Mark's nephew feels it might be unethical to let there be a DNR. Sorry Mark had said he wanted recitation, but the hospital is now saying if they do rescitate it will most likely break ribs and he would still pass. His nephew is comparing it to life support. I apologize if I was confusing.
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Sending you support about Mark. I know he fought tooth and nail with all his health issues to stay alive but it looks like his body is just plain worn out.

As for SIL the good news is you don't have to talk to her. She has no idea what she is talking about and is just lashing out at you. You went above and beyond for Mark and put up with a lot from him and even though you finally initiated the divorce you were always showing care and concern and love for him.

I am confused about the DNR do you mean the nephew thinks it's unethical to sign one? I think thats what you meant based on the hospital saying it would just prolong the inevitable.
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Thank you all. Mark’s sister is tearing into me right now basically calling me trash, but she wasn’t offering to help and she doesn’t know the whole story. Mark’s nephew, who has POA, is going back and forth on a DNR order saying it would be unethical to not have one. The hospital said a DNR would only delay the inevitable and cause more pain.
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Wishing you peace & support during this sad time.
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Support for you DoggieMom at this difficult time.
{{{{{hugs too!}}}}}
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I’m so sorry. I wish peace for you and an easy passing for Mark.
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I'm so sad to read this update DM. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace and strength right now.
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My thoughts and prayers are with you. Glad your doggies are staying .They will be a comfort to you. Although I know you knew this was coming it still is hard to go through. We are never completely ready for someone to leave us. May God have mercy and rake him soon.
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Thank you all. Yes, I knew this was coming at some point but it still isn't any easier. It's sad to see a man only 62 have so many health problems.
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So sorry DoggieMom.

It always seems to me that words are not enough at times like these.

Please know that I feel for you and pray that you can feel the support of those on this site who care and would wrap their arms around you if they could.

(((DoggieMom)))
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DoggieMom, this has to bring up a lot of hard feelings of helplessness for you. I am so very sorry. I wish you the best in seeing this through the best way you can. I know that you know this is/was inevitable. There was nothing else possible. I am just so sorry.
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It is so weird to know his daughter died, his first wife, and now he's dying. He only had the one daughter. I do care, of course, and only pray it does not become prolonged.
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He could have had hospice but declined. He is in the hospital in ICU where they have him intubated and on all the painkillers. All I am doing now is praying he passes with the least amount of pain possible.
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With everything that he's had going on for quite some time now, I'm not actually surprised that he's now near death.
I sure hope that hospice has been brought on board.
I'm sure you are sad for him and for what should have and could have been, but everything works out the way it should. I'm just glad that you're near family now.
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
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I'm so sorry for this sad news.
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I'm sure it is and I'm sure you never stopped caring, even though your divorce is going through.

I'm sure Mark is not in any pain and hardest on those who care.
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Thank you, my doggies are staying. This is horrid the way he’s dying. I know death isn’t pretty.
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I'm so sorry, doggiemom. 🙏😞

Hold in there, I wouldnt make any plans right now about your mom and pup. You need to get past this first.
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