This isn’t a question, just a rant. My mom in AL keeps losing things and is sure the staff are stealing. I usually find what she has “lost”immediately when I visit once a week. Sometimes it is longer if I’m sick or my back is bothering me. In the meantime she’s freely telling people that she is being robbed. Last time it was cash she inexplicably decided to hide. So frustrating. She is fully convinced and shocked (shocked!) when I find whatever it is (and whatever else she is hiding, like a sharp knife or scissors).
She was dx with MCI over 15 years ago in her 70s and it has been a very slow decline with long plateaus. The dr still won’t diagnose her with dementia though OT dx cognitive decline and need for 30% cognitive support (?) including finances, medication, and meal planning and support, as well as protection from safety issues (no access to stove) and daily checks. The problem is she is a great test taker and show-timer at the Dr office. She has also retained an uncanny ability to play bridge! Flummoxing, to say the least.
But I know not to take her confusion about things being broken or stolen too seriously. Computer broken…not! Shower not working…hmmm, seems to be working now. Out of toilet paper, here’s a whole package right in front of you.
#1 Paranoia: hide an item, forget where, accuse someone of theft (items were random, sometimes inconsequential)
#2 Manipulation: hide the item, advise the targeted person that demands must be met or she’ll file a police report, even after the item was located (always jewellery)
#3 Attention seeking behaviour: hide an item, report it missing, hide it again and again and again (usually wallet, purse, keys, important documents)
I used to rush in and find everything. Then, after I heard her mutter that I’d never find her purse this time, I stopped looking. (after I got over the shock) “Sorry to hear it’s gone. Guess you’ll have to use a different purse.”
Sorry you’re in that absolutely infuriating stage with her.
We get a post about once a week on the same subject.
Like so many other facets of dementia, this one is crazy frustrating.
In the meantime, just ignore her ranting nonsense about everyone stealing from her. The MC staff is.
Sounds like the time will be coming soon that she may have to move into memory care, and time to have her checked out at her doctors to get her diagnosed.
Funny story I have often told here is that my partner, N.'s mom, who was able to stay home until the end, was for the most part competent when not on too much vodka and OJ. But the one thing she did have was the paranoia that anyone hired in, even her long time and beloved "Wilma" was "taking her stuff". Her pearls, her coffeemaker kept in the garage, and on and on and on. These things would always show up.
So often did this go on that now, many years after her death, and ourselves 82 and 84 respectively, when something goes missing here we shrug and say "Wilma took it".