Turns out she wants her pillows and sheets fixed so she can get back into bed. I told her it's unacceptable to act this way I am being treated like her lackey. Let me know how I can get her to fix her own pillow etc. In a nursing home is the staff going to run to assist with this kind off demand at 10 pm?
I doubt that a home will respond to her calls so quickly. Since they aren't family I suspect that she won't even buzz or call them for help if she has to go into a home.
And sometimes old people just get scared, lonely, or panicked, and asking for help with something is a way to see someone and calm down.
But it is not acceptable for Mom to treat you like her lackey, to demand services of you, and to not show appreciation. The conversation (not screamed) should go something like this:
Mom: Could you please help me straighten out the bedding?
You: Sure. Tell you what. I'll straighten out the pillow, you get in, and I'll tuck you in, the way you tucked me in so many years.
Mom: You are so good to me. I'm glad to live here!
I think I'd work harder at teaching Mom her part of this script than getting her to do this kind of thing by herself.
Has your mom's behavior suddenly become different?
A sudden change in mental status should be reported to her doctor.
Something to keep in mind is that UTIs can cause bizzare behavior in seniors.