My husband and I stepped up and said that his dad can live with us vs being put in to assisted living, he has alzheimers and prostrate cancer. This has been a hard adjustment for all of us, now due to him moving in I gave up my job and having a hard time making ends meet even with the 600.00 a month he pays for living with us, He needs constant supervision, we drive to all appointments he has, not to mention doubling of our utillitys and food. Now I take him to buy things that he doesn't need because he think's he needs them. I am at a loss.
Not all long term care places accept Medicaid, so that is one of the first questions you should ask as you are exploring. No point in taking the time to visit a place if he couldn't use it anyway.
Is it too late to change your mind? If $600 a month is all he has, that is all you will ever get, right? Find out if he qualifies for Medicare and/or Military benefits.
Realistically, it is going to get worse, he is not going to make the choices you are, so find a good memory unit where they will bring in hospice for the Prostate cancer ( however that works) and visit him every week. Get your job back. discuss this with your husband immediately and make a DECISION.
He will get better care and you can supervise the staff--which you really need to do well. You will still be a caregiver, seeing to your FIL's medical needs and well-being, and you will retain your well-being. Trust me. All the best to you three. Hugs