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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
cinben, I hope that you and your husband can find a way to take a break or the stress of doing caregiving 24/7 will break you eventually. Take care of you in your caregiving.
Elisa, when did mom sign over the house to your brother? If it was in the last five years he is going to have to give it back. And it should be sold to pay for her care unless your brother has provided 24/7 medically necessary care for Mom for two years prior.
Elisa, social workers will often try to insist that you take your parent home. You stand your ground. She needs 24 hour care and no one is available to to provide it. So you need their assessment of what kind of facility she needs. Repeat. Repeat. Don't take it personally -- they are just doing their job -- but don't let them bully you. You have done the hands-on-caregiving route. This time around you and Brother are going to do the visit-as-loving-children route.
Caretaking is the hardest,non paying job there is!My husband and I are dying to get away for just a weekend ,however we cant leave mom.Even if I hired someone-I'd be anxiety-ridden the whole d*mn weekend!
Thank you for your post. I did explain this to them and was met with blank stares.
I said I dealt with problems head on. I think this one I obviously didn't. I didn't want to face the facts (which I normally do) that mom was not going to be the same after all, people have come back from strokes to live normal lives. I finally said something to my mother today and she of course had to get off the phone. I think my brother is secretly hoping I will be the bad guy (can't blame him). Me and him, we really worked together on this.
I just wonder, does she want to be home so bad that she doesn't care what it does to everyone else? She's been a great mom, I feel so bad :-(
If mom needs 24/7 supervision, you ask if they are talking about her needing skilled nursing, assisted living or memory care. Talk to the discharge planning person at the rehab.. Explain mom's living situation and emphasize the fact that you both work and that mom can't afford round the clock care at home. Her house should be sold to fund her care. It's her money and her assets that should be funding her care.
After her sickness we finally convinced her that she needed a POA. Me and my brother have POA. We applied for medicaid for her (finding the needed paperwork.. what a nightmare). She says she has a will but we can't find it. I think she has the house signed over to my (no help) brother which I don't care but when they come for recovery and being that my brother will feel control I don't want to deal with him when that time comes. No insurance to take care of her burial when that dreaded time comes. I was going broke paying for help so me and my brother could work and didn't lose our sanity.
I've always tried to deal with problems head on, my mom is the complete opposite. I try to get her in on decisions and when I try to talk to her about important things she changes the topic or has to get off the phone. It's like she wants to ignore reality. Only the fun stuff.
When she talks about going home sometimes I want to ask. Mom, do you realize that if you go home we don't go home.
24 hour around the clock care, I just don't know if I can do this again. :-(
All our lives my husband and I saved, scrimped and dreamed of early retirement and travel. Then my mother had a stroke, after partial recovery she went home needing 24 hour care. My one brother and I did our best, my other brother gave every excuse not to help. Talk about feeling like our lives were blown up! I was becoming miserable, angry, guilty (feeling trapped) and sad (for mom). It is exhausting. At first my mother was not easy personality wise but I excused it by knowing it just wasn't who she was.
She fell, almost didn't make it because of her lung disease and is now in rehab constantly asking about going home. She told us PT said she is almost ready to go home and me and my brother dread it, I mean dread it! We are both very thankful she pulled through but we dread it. She is back to being mom (personality), funny, smiling, very personable, she does ask the same questions over and over but I think it's for assurance. If she goes home, she will need 24 hr around the clock care, she can barely walk, couldn't fix her own meals, couldn't get her own coffee if she wanted. We tell her she likes to decorate the room with her food. I was offended when her friend said, "you know, when we were young we took care of our parents", which I responded, when you were young the women didn't work.
I'm thinking I might tell the rehab she doesn't have 24 hour around the clock care.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I said I dealt with problems head on. I think this one I obviously didn't. I didn't want to face the facts (which I normally do) that mom was not going to be the same after all, people have come back from strokes to live normal lives. I finally said something to my mother today and she of course had to get off the phone. I think my brother is secretly hoping I will be the bad guy (can't blame him). Me and him, we really worked together on this.
I just wonder, does she want to be home so bad that she doesn't care what it does to everyone else? She's been a great mom, I feel so bad :-(
I've always tried to deal with problems head on, my mom is the complete opposite. I try to get her in on decisions and when I try to talk to her about important things she changes the topic or has to get off the phone. It's like she wants to ignore reality. Only the fun stuff.
When she talks about going home sometimes I want to ask. Mom, do you realize that if you go home we don't go home.
24 hour around the clock care, I just don't know if I can do this again. :-(
She fell, almost didn't make it because of her lung disease and is now in rehab constantly asking about going home. She told us PT said she is almost ready to go home and me and my brother dread it, I mean dread it! We are both very thankful she pulled through but we dread it. She is back to being mom (personality), funny, smiling, very personable, she does ask the same questions over and over but I think it's for assurance. If she goes home, she will need 24 hr around the clock care, she can barely walk, couldn't fix her own meals, couldn't get her own coffee if she wanted. We tell her she likes to decorate the room with her food. I was offended when her friend said, "you know, when we were young we took care of our parents", which I responded, when you were young the women didn't work.
I'm thinking I might tell the rehab she doesn't have 24 hour around the clock care.