I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I agree with Golden , you can drop things off with her name on them at the receptionist at the front desk lobby , the receptionist can have the staff bring them to her room . I did that with my Mom periodically as well .
For awhile though , I couldn’t drop off because my mother loved to sit by the front door to watch who came and left and she would ambush me , yell at me about how I was such a “ rotten daughter”. She got satisfaction of having an audience see her berate me . The small open lobby where she sat was at the corner of the big common living room full of other residents sitting . So I then started calling the front desk first before I went into the building to see if Mom was sitting at the lobby . My Mom sat across from the receptionist who answers the phone . If Mom was there , the receptionist would send a staff member to the parking lot to meet me at my car to get supplies .
One time the activities director was there when Mom berated me . The director turned to my mother and flat out told her . “ If I was your daughter I wouldn’t visit anymore .” My mother came right back with “ well you aren’t “ .
After that whenever I visited and the activity director walked passed us , my mother complained how she didn’t like that woman . 😝😜🤪
ana - I'm sorry your account was deleted. Maybe admin can restore it. I found I had to prioritize self protection. Otherwise it was too hard on me. It's no good getting bashed again and again. Can your hub or kids do the supplies? Or, as way suggested, have the staff get them from you in the parking lot.
My whine is that I can't make it to my dgds 21st birthday meal. I'm just not feeling up to the drive. and on top of that my guts are iffy so staying at home is safer. Not happy about this!!!
Golden, feel better!
Hope you feel better , sorry you missed the party .
Gershun ,
Feel better soon. My neighbors had it again recently too were pretty sick . Maybe because the newer strain , previous immunity isn’t a great match ???? Just a guess .
Thanks for the support, ladies. Feeling better today so I will try again to make the trip. Dgd is off work till 4 so maybe we can yet have a visit. I have been checking out Uber as an alternative., It's cheaper than a taxi for sure.
I was double vaccinated when we were in the thick of covid but didn't get the booster shots. The virus keeps mutating so there would be no end to getting shots.
But I have to say that the last four days have been pretty hellish. No breathing difficulty so I think I'm safe that way but I have all the other symptoms. Wondering now if I should just get all the booster shots.
I guess covid is here to stay.
It was rough , I didn't sleep at all , I was wide awake for days , until I realized I was taking day time meds. 😆.
Hope you feel better soon. Don't be surprised if you weak feeling for a few weeks after.
I had it recently (again). Found 2 weeks I needed to go slow, to restore physical energy but mostly BRAIN energy this time.
I am playing around with nutritious smoothies & homemmade soups + taking vitamin D.
Best wishes for your FULL recovery 🙏 ❤️
The slow progression of recovering scared me a little. Day ten I forced myself to take a walk around the block, it was a slow walk. Also, brain fog for a few weeks. I had to tell myself to open a door before I walked though it.
Took probably a month to feel 100 percent. And yes I'm getting the vaccine as soon as I can this fall
But sounds like your getting past that
My sister left me with the details and I thought I rose to the challenge. Unfortunately there was a misunderstanding with the pictures that were scanned. I loaded her pictures that she gave me to the funeral home website after I gave the funeral home the ones I scanned. Unfortunately her pictures were not included in the video loop where the funeral was. I did call to apologize after the funeral director informed me how upset my sister was. Today I pointed out if she felt so strongly about planning this funeral she should be opted to be at the meeting with the funeral director and not consoling someone else on the death of their loved one.
I thought everything was okay a few weeks ago. It was not. I had to call her for some other reason which got her really angry and then brought this
Between that and the fact she feels put upon visiting our father in the NH it was a miserable conversation. She is upset he has a fungus which she insists is because they left him in bed on Sunday. It don't think it is. It is because he is in adult disposable underwear. The facility has been treating it, the doctor checks it every week. They can't seem to get it cleared up. She is all upset because it spread. I told her at 95, something is going to get the better of him. I cannot worry so much anymore about keeping him going. Mom is gone and there is absolutely nothing left for him to live for. He is only living as long as he is because he is getting good care at this facility, otherwise he would have been gone a long time ago.
I told her visit as little or as much as you want, that is why he is where he is. Or bring him to her house or put him in another Medicaid facility. Those are her options.
I decided to block her, don't want to talk to her anymore. You cannot make this stuff up. Who knows if she reads this site, I really don't care. Being on the receiving end of her wrath is more devastating than my mother dying.
If anybody reads through this miserable story, just thanking you. There is nothing anyone can say. I feel better posting it for posterity.
I’m sorry you had to deal with all that .
I don’t blame you for blocking calls .
On a side note , family photo and videos at funerals ?? I just don’t get it . When did funerals become a show?? I don’t think I would even load any pictures if asked except for photos of the deceased ??
But then again I am a very private griever to begin with . So I have a different mindset . I’m the let’s get it over with and go home type . I went straight home after my mother’s funeral . No partying with family afterwords.
I am hurt and angry because she is always going to remember me as the person who ruined her mother's funeral for her. I don't think I deserve that.
I have seen people after a death do some rather stupid things. I tell them , I think the first 6 months after a death, others should forgive some of mean and stupid thing they did and let it go .
But after 6 months, if they are still being jerks . The so long.
Hothouseflower, also much of this will pass. Trust me on that 💓
”ruined her mother’s funeral for her “.
You don’t deserve that.
OMG, I don’t even know where to start with that , it’s so ridiculous , I don’t even think your sister grieving is an excuse , IMO .
What individual joy and recognition was she expecting to get at her mother’s funeral ??
That sounds like a crazy, bent out of shape about something minor , mother of the groom or mother of the bride who forget that their child’s wedding is not about them .
Your mother’s funeral was NOT about your sister !! Sheez . I’m with your husband , I would have hung up .
You also lost your mother and are grieving , don’t accept drama or blame of anything during the caregiving .
That can happen after a parent dies . It’s like the post game analysis . You don’t need it from family . We all do enough of that in our own heads .
I do realize for the time being you feel you have to deal with each other until Dad passes . I felt the same way and put up with cr4p .
It’s a relief when you don’t have to anymore .
You "ruined" your mother's funeral? That is ridiculous. If your sister wanted every detail of it to be 'just so' (I absolutely detest this expression to my very core, but for lack of a better term), why didn't she miss out on the wedding and make sure she planned every detail?
Honestly, you should have slapped her one. I think I would have.
When my husband died, part of his family attacked me and his closest friends, as if assigning blame would give them a diversion. As if anger was easier for them to process than grief. We felt it brought my MIL and SIL closer together. They now had common enemies. (his death was unexpected and medical - in no way was anyone to blame)
Keep her blocked and grieve in your own way. She may regain perspective (I recently heard from said MIL) or she may find comfort in her anger (like my SIL) for decades. Your sister’s regrets are not yours to carry.