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needhelp - prayers for your tests tomorrow. Anxiety is normal. Treat yourself to something relaxing tonight. I am glad you are starting to look after yourself. ((((((hugs)))))

pamz - I wouldn't be surprised if she did it on purpose - aaaargh!!!
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My whine today is that the city is digging up a sewer or something 2 houses away. I am thankful that my house does not have any sewer or water problems as the noise would be even louder, apart from other issues. Maybe I need some ear plugs for tomorrow. Noise pollution is very stressful. I have a headache now.
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Need prayers tonight. 94 y.o. Mom and returned almost a month ago from a short cruise vacation; she has been ill with GI issues since a few days after return. It was almost a week before she told me those issues were still going on, and wouldn't go to the dr. that week, so had to wait another week to take her.......so then we went to Dr. for labs/stool samples, last week. Results are all back and aren't conclusive at all, but 3 days of antibiotic given (for traveler's diarrhea).... Mom still very weak, doesn't want to drink or eat, because of all the trips to the bathroom. If GI issues still present in AM I will be taking her to ER per Dr. instruction. She's lost 10-12 lbs. in last few weeks and is too little to lose all that wait. She's given a lot of pushback on increasing liquids, so looking dehydrated, and of course dehydration and weakness continuing. She hasn't been in the hospital in 7 years, but she is going to go in the morning....hopefully after a good night sleep. Meanwhile, I am feeling guilty on letting this drag on so long and not having pushed her to go to the hospital at least a week ago. Seeing her looking weaker and acknowledge she is weak, and now she said today she is "really very weak and tired and just wants to find out what's wrong".... just saying a prayer for her and hope that this isn't the end
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Myownlife, I just sent a prayer up for you. Try to stay calm and trust in the Lord. He is able.
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Just said a prayer for both of you right now. 🙏🏼
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Praying for you and Mom
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Having trouble with hoca's pharmacy - they're billing for a Rx which was cancelled last year - Hoca claims they rejected the delivery
invoice doesn't even have the correct prescribing physician
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Thank you so much for the prayers! They did work!! Took Mom to dr. appt this morning, she had gained a pound and no diarrhea, last night or at all today... first day in 3 + weeks. She had a little lunch out today, not much, but a definite improvement and felt good all day. When it was time for my appt., my blood pressure was sky high... and I've never had bp issues...took meds in dr office to drop it quickly, and now started on a new med. All I can say is I am not handling caregiver stress well at all. Have got to learn how to stop worrying so much, and yes, "give it to the Lord"... it is just hard when I've always had that feeling /attitude " I can do it all"... letting go is hard.
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Sorry, Jeanette. I used to be in the same boat. It can be a total drag and exhausting like so many other tasks when caring for a loved one. I'm sure you're doing the best you can and that is all anyone can ask.
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MIL insists on still cooking huge Sunday dinners for 10 people. There are only 3 of us. I wonder about the cleanliness and quality of the food. We go through her fridge, but she has a huge pantry and there is food everywhere. We thoroughly clean the kitchen after Sunday dinner. She often gets sick with vomiting and diarrhea all night about every 2 weeks or so, and I wonder if she isn't forgetting she ate once, and then eats again and again. She was hospitalized for the vomiting and diarrhea and they didn't give us any straight answer as to what is going on, may be a twisted colon and gave her a diet list to follow, which she does not. Bowls and bowls of candy and chocolate in her living room. She must weigh no more than 100 pounds though.
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I've gone little/no contact with a couple people in my life over the past couple years. I recently had one of these people making a genuine attempt to reconnect. After a lot of thought, I've decided to give it one more try. This time, thought, I will be settling a few hard and fast boundaries about what I will not be discussing. My personal business, whether it's DH's health, my relationship with my mom and my working aren't up for discussion, criticism or advice. Politics and religion are safer topics ;-) . If this person can respect these boundaries, then we'll give it a shot. If not, then I go back to little contact. I realize that this is the time to address this, because I'm ok with whichever outcome.
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Um, Linda, okay with either outcome is good. But... what's in it for you?
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Cm, it’s not for me...It’s for DH. This is his group of friends and he’s pretty isolated from them, since there are things he can’t participate in. With PD, depression is an issue both because of the physical changes and the loss of dopamine. If I can get this worked out, we’ll at least add a little more social life, like dinner or a movie.
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Linda: Hope things go well. Add another safe topic, Warriors or Raptors?
I am also struggling with several issues tht I don''t know if are stress, depression or what.
GOOD NEWS: I finally accepted I need help, and decided to see a psychiatrist.

BAD NEWS: Looked at the list, saw one I like, very good reviews, walking distance from me, pick up the phone:
"I'd like to see dr. Blah-blah. It would be my first time."
"Sure. Would you pay cash or through health insurance?"
"Health insurance. I have EverythingyouOwnandYourFirstBornMed."
"Ok, For that plan, the earliest we can have you is september."
...
If I said I'd pay cash, I probably could see the doctor next week. Oh, well. At least, is a start.
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Thanks- I thought for quick topic changes, I’d do a riff on Jeopardy... “Politics for $400.Alex”
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Poor Alex Trebek has cancer. Pancreatic cancer. That's what my Dad died of.

Damn Cancer!
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coyote,

Could you possibly pay cash for a first visit and then use insurance to pay all other visits?
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Pam, freqflyer, I collect Fostoria Crystal - Jamestown pink (with my China) Jamestown red (goes with my Christmas China) and the traditional clear Americana. I have both my Mom’s and my grandmother’s collection. When I lived in WV we went to the Fostoria factory once or twice a year. Not open now. Now my DIL and I collect Fiesta. My DIL buys a place setting and water pitcher every time there is a new color. She has found all of the old colors. We go to the Homer Laughlin factory every year. Glass and WV go together. I collect Blenko too (the genie bottles) and the China from The Greenbrier Hotel.
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OK, I have chronic health conditions which are a constant concern and very limiting as well. My mother always asks how I'm feeling, and when I remind her that I'm struggling she always responds with " but you're Ok, aren't you?" I'm whining because one day I'm going to say "No, I'm Not OK!!" what should I say, nicely to let her know that this question really, really annoys me? Or should I just lie and tell her that despite all that she already knows, I'm just peachy, keeny ?
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well aren't you lucky? my mother will only eat healthy food. the list of restrictions are seemingly endless. this applies to microwaving vegetables, and storing left overs in glass, not plastic because the chemicals in the Tupperware containers are not good for you. I understand that she can't eat salt, I can't either because we both have high blood pressure. But when she's 91 and she concerns herself with the long term effects of food additives and storage of food which makes meal preparation and clean up a lot harder. Also, she weighs 108 lbs. and I just keep packing on all the pounds from these meals I have to prepare. Right now my sister is taking over and I am on break. Sometimes though, it does get annoying
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The high sodium my MIL insists on has caused my husband's BP to rise and he has gone into A-fib a couple of times. " Luckily" he is on medication that brings back regular heart rhythm, but these episodes wipe him out. MIL's constant eating until she has vomiting and diarrhea for hours on end, is cause for concern. In contrast, my mom ate very little and then nothing while she was bedridden on hospice in my home before she died.
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Becky, there is nothing more cheerful than a table set with many colors of Fiesta dishes!

Everybody have a good day, and stay safe from the many storms if you are in the area of danger. So many tornados this year.
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salutem,
" My mother always asks how I'm feeling, and when I remind her that I'm struggling she always responds with " but you're Ok, aren't you?" I'm whining because one day I'm going to say "No, I'm Not OK!!" what should I say, nicely to let her know that this question really, really annoys me? "

Oh NOO! Never tell her what bothers you! Make sure you keep your thoughts private, because she will for sure do whatever it is that annoys you, just to annoy you, or maybe because she is incapable of it. I speak from experience.

My mom is narcissistic, and I repeatedly ask her not to do certain things.... only a couple of them, and it seems then like she does them on purpose. Narcissists have no empathy and absolutely cannot understand how someone else feels. I know this, but sometimes I lose patience and get upset anyway.
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Summer slows them down a bit . My mom has stop wandering around almost entirely. And has really calm down. I have unique situation that you guys don't have I'm in Miami Florida so the humidity is really heavy.
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I have been ambushed. Can't believe I fell for it.

Email from my volunteer co-ordinator on Monday - could I help out at the cancer unit on Friday morning because it's always a busy clinic and one of the two volunteers who normally do it is away.

[Thinks not so keen on mornings, grumble rhubarb, but] yes, fine, of course I'll be happy to help.

Thank you so much! says volunteer co-ordinator. By the way, the other volunteer can't make it either now, sorreee.

I think I've been had.
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Mom just got a call from Aunt, a cousin halfway across the country is the hospital with pneumonia and COPD. Their nephew.. . Now my mom thinks every time anyone gets a hangnail they are going to die.. So she tells me she and Aunt are going to have to go there, better plan on it., for the funeral. (Mind you both mom and aunt have recovered nicely from this in the past) Mom is recouping from 2 months of PT for pain,, which she still has. She has to have a rollator to go across the house, and this week she finally admitted that just getting dressed wears her out for hours. But Aunt doesn't want to go alone! So I calmly told her there is no way the two of them can go on a long flight, airport, etc alone. And I cant go so who of Aunts kids are taking them? ( OK.. one will probably go along but my mom is full tilt care for moving at this point) And cousin there will be too busy with stuff to cater to her.. unlike last visit. So for now we are shelving this as I told her he will probably go to rehab for awhile, like Mom did. I also pointed out to her that everyone will understand why she can't go. But I know this is going to come up daily... I am already totally exhausted, and now I have this to look forward to! I will call my cousin ( sister of nephew) tomorrow and try to get the whole story!
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I am trying not to whine anymore, but since this is the place to vent I need to blow off steam. Old braggart friend since 8th grade emails, brags 6 times about the "paradise" she has moved to and proceeds to say she is not leaving her "paradise", (her exact words), to come visit this area anymore since her father that lived in this area has died. If beaches and palm trees come to mind, this is NOT where she lives, but rather in a cold, rainy place most of the year.
What do I say to her? Do I say "hey I don't blame you for not wanting to leave your paradise to visit this awful place we all live in". I actually had a good morning until I was reminded multiple times that I live in an awful place. Sometimes I wonder why I am so thin skinned when it comes to this old friend.
Thanks for letting me blow off steam. It sure put a damper on what started to be a good day...
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Katie, some people are just so into their own trip that they don't really think about the effects of their words. But there is a silver lining --- now you will be free of the stress her visits cause you -- you don't have to hear her nonsense in person.
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Linda already said what I was going to say, I kinda think your friend is one of those people who has to constantly pump herself up and it doesn't ever cross her mind that she is pushing you down at the same time. She really does seem to push your buttons 🤔 - I'd just tell her to each his own, and you're happy with your own choices.
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mom has decided she wants to go on hospice. Dr okayed it.
My parents have money. I suggested a residence hospice that only has 10 beds and is expensive. Dad doesnt want to pay, she has her own money but its like in an ira fund thing (i know lol) worth atm 140k plus she has saving and pension money . He said he wont cash it in because of taxes. Its her money some how he has charge of all her money.
He finally agreed to this place. Her busybody friend called him and told him hospice is free and this private place is trying to screw him.
So now we are all fighting again.
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