I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
It's so frustrating when a good product gets discontinued or re-formulated to where it's just not the same.
I have two different orders from Amazon that will be returned if I ever get out from under 14 hour work days
the original lantiseptic came in two formulas - one with 30% lanolin (pink) and one with 50% (blue)
it wasn't clear to me that I was ordering a different product - wish I had time to find another supplier that has old stock still - kinda like Elaine hoarding the Sponge when it was taken off the market 😆
The current (©2019) specification states:
Ingredients:
ACTIVE INGREDIENTS: Lanolin USP 50%…Skin Protectant
INACTIVE INGREDIENTS: Beeswax (Yellow Wax), Disodium EDTA, DMDM Hydantoin + IPBC, Lanolin Alcohol, Mineral Oil, Petrolatum, Purified Water, Sodium Borate, Sorbitan Sesquioleate.
And bearing in mind how badly packaged your delivery was, and that the beeswax is missing - you haven't been sold a fake, have you? Who did you order from?
original manufacturer was santus and now it's dermarite
I will see if I can find it.
https://www.ebay.com/itm/Skin-Protectant-Lantiseptic-12-oz-Jar-Ointment-Unscented-0311-Each-1/272734037599?ul_ref=https://rover.ebay.com/rover/1/711-53200-19255-0/1?ff3=2&toolid=10044&campid=5337674829&customid=967446387-16-1454720378.1563355073&lgeo=1&vectorid=229466&item=272734037599&srcrot=711-53200-19255-0&rvr_id=2043904690051&rvr_ts=ff3a14f216b0ad319b2117c1ffde3850&ul_noapp=true&pageci=ac344c3b-fe89-40a4-a534-fb469cab81ac&redirect=mobile
https://www.care.club/lantiseptic-skin-protectant/
https://www.medicaleshop.com/santus-lantiseptic-skin-protectant-4-5-oz-jar-each.html
https://www.vitalitymedical.com/lantiseptic-skin-protectant-ointment.html?matchtype=b&network=g&device=t&adposition=1o1&keyword=lantiseptic%20skin%20protectant%20ointment&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIs6z1tdC74wIVBZ-fCh3qRg4REAMYASAAEgJYq_D_BwE
thanks for the search
I'll try and make calls to verify it's the santus mfg
amazon is being cheeky in not disclosing it's the new mfg
the stuff is expensive - we average 3 12 oz jars a month at about $14 a jar
Took the "tripod" dog whose other back leg was not functioning now to be put to sleep this morning. Long day...
What are YOU (not husband or anyone else) going to DO to make sure this is the last time you babysit the kid against your will?
Once you have a plan of action to correct the problem, you will feel much better. Maybe, it's still not too late to not babysit this time. Is it possible for you to leave the house for the day? Just go hang out at the mall or library, or park, etc.
so I just told the story of what happened at BIL & the soon to be ex wife’s babyshower. So the week leading up to the shower, we had our hardwood floors refinished and had to put all the living room & masterbedroom furniture on the back patio for 5 days. So the baby shower was Saturday and might I add, up until then I had been quite excited to finally become an auntie! So needless to say, I was quite hurt by what happened and yes I cried over it. Anyway. The following day, we could finally bring the furniture back in so hubby asked BIL to come over and help us. He said yes and then......he never showed up. We waited and waited, moved what we could. He wouldn’t answer the phone. Nothing had happened, he just decided he didn’t want to help us. At 9pm at night MIL and her partner came & helped us.
Less than a week later, BIL calls hubby(who worked swing shift at the time and had been asleep for about an hour) at 5am because he ran out of gas on the way to work. Hubby gets up, gets gas & drives across town to BIL. The reason BIL ran out of gas? His car was going to be repossessed any day now so he didn’t want to put gas in the tank! With 2 big car payments and a baby coming, they decided to stop making one of the car payments and let it get repo’d. And then 7 months later they let the 2nd car get repo’d and they wanted to use one of our cars! Hubby would have agreed, despite my protests, to let them use his truck but it would have meant he would have to drive his classic car to work and park it on the street over night and he wasn’t willing to take that risk.
A week after that, BIL’s now soon to be ex wife texts me and asks me if I can drive across town to pick her up and take her to her doctor appointment which was right by my house. She needed a ride because the car had been repossessed and BIL had driven their other car to work. So I went and picked her up and took her to the doctor and when she was done, she said she was hungry and suggested we go to lunch. So we went to a Chinese restaurant that has a good lunch special and well......I got suckered in to paying for her meal! After I gave her a ride to the doctor!! No I didn’t expect or want her to pay for her meal, I thought we were going to pay for our own meals! And actually if someone had done me a favor like that, I would have at least bought them lunch. But I repeat, I did not go to lunch expecting anything other than to pay for my meal.
Also about 18 months before all this, there was the road trip we all took to visit FIL. Day 1, as soon as we load up and get to the gas station to fill up, BIL asks hubby if we can pay for all the gas on the way out because they didn’t get paid until Friday. Neither of us was happy about that but, we paid for the gas all the way out there. All 1800 miles. And then, every time we stopped at a restaurant to eat, they would give us just enough cash to cover their meals but nothing toward the tax or tip. And then when we got to FILs house, we had planned to do some sight seeing each day while FIL was at work and when it was their turn to pay for gas, they would stay behind at FILs so hubby and I, still wanting to go out, had to pay for the gas. Of course.....once there was gas in the car again, they started going out with us!
Thats just one tiny tiny chapter in 14 years of family history. We don’t get invited over to their house for dinner. (We invite them though) And they never invite us to do anything with them. My husband used to ask BIL all the time but he stopped because BIL always said he had no money. We don’t hear from either of them unless they want something.
You can't tell an excited five year old "f*** off, you're not welcome," especially when he's so happy to see his cousins, but I did take his father into the kitchen and give him a piece of my mind.
How old is this kid, how much do you like him, and if he's going to camp what are your children doing all day?
Your BIL and soon to be ex are piss-takers of the first water. Your husband may be incapable of saying no to them but I don't see why you should be. If you really don't like the sprog, could you put your kids in your car and be OUT?
And another thing I dislike (very much) is when someone says that they will come over to help and don't show up or even bother to call...man that gets under my skin! To me it shows the lack of respect, common courtesy, and well...it is just plain rude! Couldn't BIL sent a text or called?
To me it sounds like you and hubby are being used!! Maybe it is time to say, "NO." In my experience when you say no this is when you find out "if people are around you because of you or because of what you can do for them."
Congrats on being Auntie!
Just something to think about!
My sister and I also just LOVE IT when we realize mom has gotten into a bag of candy or cookies and then when the healthy meal is placed in front of her she just calmly exclaims "i'm not hungry" and turns her nose up. Just like a 2 year old she spoiled her dinner by having sweets. Our fault for making it available.
What can we do but put it in the fridge for later. Can't/won't yell at her or chastise her for ruining her appetite.
I do want to go outside and scream to the top of my lungs What's Going On!!!!!!! Remember the song by the 4 non-blondes called what's up? Yes most mornings I wake up and want to step outside, take a deep breath and just start screaming.
I hope you all are having a better day today than me. Sincerely I do.
I absolutely agree, we are being used and we’ve been used for a very long time. It took me YEARS and a huge battle to get my husband to realize that his brother uses him and to establish boundaries. And now it’s like as soon as my FIL died, the boundaries are gone! And I think it goes back to my husband’s childhood. My MIL basically raised the kids herself, and my husband being the oldest had to step up. And I think now that their parents are gone, he’s thinking he has to step up and help support them again. Which is noble of him but there has to be boundaries! For years BIL was always asking hubby to borrow his truck and various things around the house. And the few times hubby needed help, his BIL wouldn’t do it. And I would have to listen to him complain cause BIL was coming to borrow something yet again. Eventually I got him to realize that a)he was being used by someone who won’t return the favor even once and b) that it’s ok to say NO sometimes!
Also I don’t have to reschedule my hair appointment again. I had scheduled it for a Wednesday while hubby was still off work & recovering from surgery. The reason I rescheduled it for next Friday is because he played golf last Friday and when I asked if he was going to resume the weekly game, he said no because he “needs a tune up” after 7 months of not playing. So I went ahead and booked my appointment for next Friday. And his golf game has always come first. I’ve gone along with it because he’s the one who works all week and it’s his “me time”. Other than that, he doesn’t go out and do anything. But I admit, over the years I’ve felt resentful over it because I can’t schedule anything until I know what day he’s Playing & what time. My role is less important, simply put, because I don’t have a job.
My BILs son is 9. And I don’t particularly care for him. Partly because, as I said, we never got to bond with him. And partly because he’s always been a big handful, there were a few rough years where neither of us could stand to be around him much. It wasn’t his fault-A lot had to do with my BIL and his wife splitting up twice and not having a stable environment and their refusal to deal with the behavioral issues. I also strongly believe that he was crying out for his parents attention because they’ve never really put him first. Before MIL got really sick, he was ALWAYS at her house. Never with his parents. And MIL would allow him to misbehave and she wouldn’t correct him and there is so much more to that story but neither of us has ever had much of a relationship with him. And it would be great if we could change that but this babysitting thing isn’t the way to go about it. i don’t like kids. I said it. I’m not a not a kid person so if you ask me to babysit, I’m not gonna get excited and say yes. Especially if it’s an inconvenience to me.
husband said he did it for his nephew. I won’t disagree with that but what he isn’t realizing is that he is enabling BILs ex! BIL works a set schedule. SIL is the one who schedules clients hours before her child has day camp and puts them before her child. My MIL refused to say no to her. SIL watched him all last summer and spring break and now it seems she’s learned to say no. Worst case if you say no, BILs ex has to take him to work with her and fit her clients in around his schedule! I would be more understanding if she had a set schedule and wasn’t self employed. She is a hairstylist. She doesn’t have a boss. She doesn’t risk losing her job if she’s late or has to call in. Obviously she doesn’t get paid and she risks upsetting a client but her kid should come first.
and the thing is, they never asked us to help with childcare. They just assumed we would. They never asked if we could help from time to time. They just started texting us and asking if we can watch him the following day or sometimes pick him up.
another scenerio was....if they run out of daycamps and need someone to watch him all week (which I suspect is about to happen), if hubby says “they want to know if you can watch nephew this week”, I’ll say “you mean they want to hire me as a babysitter”? I can just see the look he’ll give me! And heck no they would never pay, they’ve been taking advantage of various family members for years so they don’t have to pay a babysitter!
I need to come up with a plan. But one that doesn’t result in hubby taking time off work.
and what gets me is, since I said no last week, BILs ex knew I would say no this week (drop off time this week was even earlier than last week) so she had BIL text hubby and ask him to ask me if she could drop him off here at 5:30am and then take him to camp. And my husband knew I wouldn’t agree to that! When she asked last week, I told him about it and that I said no and that if BIL asked him if we could babysit, to tell him our kids not had camp or something because I’m not willing to do it.
i am just not sure the best way to approach the subject. I always feel like I end up the bad guy. I have great difficultly going to him with things that I know will make him mad and it goes back to my childhood and having a father with an extremely short fuse and volatile temper. My fear is that when I say no to babysitting, hubby will make me out to be the bad guy and say “so I have to take the day off work and use my comp time to babysit when you’ve got nothing better to do”? Or he’ll imply that I’ve got nothing better to do than sit around the house all day. I just know he might not be too happy with me if I won’t agree to babysit. And then he’ll act cold towards me for a bit!
i think all I can do is explain that just because I’m home with our kids all day, it doesn’t mean I’m obligated to watch other people’s children. And remind him that he doesn’t work for free so why should I? I have a right to say no. I understand that it’s his nephew but in my mind, agreeing to these last minute babysitting pleas is continue the enabling MIL did for years! And I am not willing to do that. It is time for them to step up and be parents and put their child first.
When he first sprung this on me, I said something about how I’m sorry I’m b*tchy about this but we don’t have the luxury of leaving the kids with family when we need a babysitter. We have no one to help us with our kids and I am resentful over that at times because we have NO HELP. It didn’t work so I need to take a different approach.
And honestly, if they needed a sitter for a few hours in the afternoon, I would say yes once in a while if we didn’t have anything planned. But this early in the AM stuff with additional transportation needed? That’s asking too much. I’m not getting up up at 5:30-6:30am to babysit especially when I’m not getting paid.
I would tell your DH, BIL, and soon to be ex SIL, all three of them, that you are NOT able to babysit, as you stay busy with things of your own that you have to get done. You don't have to go into a lengthy explanation, just "no, sorry". That way they all three get the memo. Don't worry too much about what they think. They're gonna make you the bad guy anyway anytime they don't get their way. I have in-laws like this too.
Unfortunately, you can't really control how DH chooses to handle it or whether he will take off work, but you can definitely set boundaries for you and what you are willing to do. Perhaps make plans to be out of the house when the kid will be brought over (make an appointment or plans for yourself for that day), and give DH a taste of what it's like to watch BIL's kid AND your own kids all day as well if he wishes to take off work. He just might change his mind about whether or not being a stay at home parent is work if he has to do everything all day himself. AND he might decide he'd rather be at work from now on than taking time off to watch kids.
Nephew is YOUR child and YOU need to make proper arrangements for his care. We do not provide free childminding services. Sort yourselves out.
Worried, you do realise that the nub of this problem is that you feel that if you say no - To A Totally Unreasonable Demand! - you are being a bitch. You're not. There is a very marked difference between being a bitch and not being a squishy doormat who's willing to soak up other people's umska.
Somebody has some explaining to do, that's for certain. I hope the poor lady didn't suffer. The indignity of being overlooked is bad enough, but God willing she wasn't aware of her own passing.
CM, you are absolutely right. I’ve got to come to accept the fact that saying no doesn’t make me a bitch. I know I have a right to say no but it is incredibly difficult. The older and wise I get, the more I realize how a lifetime of emotional abuse has affected me. It has always been easier to be a dormat because then I don’t have to deal with the anger that will result from saying no. So thank you for the encouragement. I can’t believe your relatives just showed up out of nowhere and expected you to babysit! I can’t believe people actually do that!
You reminded me of a time where BIL kind did that to us. It was around 4 years ago and FIL was out for a short visit. He always stayed with us when he visited. I was in the kitchen which is in the front of the house and I saw BILs car pull up. Nothing unusual, I think we knew he was coming over. Then I heard a knock at the door. I open the door & nephew walks in saying hi. I look out the door and see BIL driving off!! I went to hubby and said “what the hell? Why did your brother drop nephew off and leave without saying anything?”. He then told me that BIL had been called to go help a friend who broke down and he asked FIL if he could leave nephew with him!! Boy was I mad! Every time FIL visited, it resulted in BIL and his soon to be exwife needing him to watch their son. It just made me mad because.....no one asked hubby or I first. All I wanted was for it to be run by me so that I wasn’t caught off guard when the kid was suddenly dropped off here! FIL doesn’t have to ask to permission to babysit but when you are a guest in someone else’s house, you don’t just do things like that without asking your hosts. You can’t just invite anyone over. And another reason I disliked it is because I ultimately had to watch him & prepare an extra meal. Which is why I used to flip when this was just sprung on me! At least just ask me first. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. There was also a time when FIL came out to help hubby work on his classic car. We flew him out here because he had gotten a DUI and lost his license. BIL and his soon to be ex knew he has flown out & about the DUI. So one day they are out working on the car, filthy & covered in oil and BILs soon to be ex wife called FIL and asked him to pick up nephew at his pre-schedule/daycare at 4:30. She didn’t actually need someone to do it for her, MIL was watching him in the evenings at the time and picked him up. I get that she wanted him to spend time with her child as well-and he had already spent plenty of time with him over the weekend and they would come over every night too, but why would she ask someone without a car to pick up her kid? Especially knowing he didn’t have a driver’s license? Did she think hubby would take a risk and let him take his truck? So it was my husband that had to get cleaned up and drive across town in rush hour traffic to pick him up. I was livid because my husband didn’t tell either of them no. And guess who had to watch all the kids because they went straight back to working on the car?
Another thing I wish we had is an agency like your Hospice that can step in with extra supports when someone is dying, lack of proper care is one of the reasons I caution people who choose to remain in AL until their final breath. Many seem to be falling through the cracks there because it is wrongly assumed that an AL has the resources to handle it when often they clearly do not.