I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
At a full roll gone everyday, I must be near death.
Send? A roll a day? Cut out the prunes woman! LOL
I’m on edge because I think hubby sent them (they are from the florist he always uses) and it means one of 2 things-
1) he sent them for our anniversary but it is a month away. It’s on 8/25 not 7/25. If these are anniversary flowers, it worries me because I’ve felt he’s had a little bit of mental decline since his surgery.
2)he’s done something that he knows is going to royally tick me off!! Like agreeing for
me to babysit his nephew again. Or letting his brother move in temporarily.
He hasn’t answered my text and it’s been almost an hour now......he never ever randomly sends flowers so something is up and it can’t be good.....
Or, he does know when your anniversary is but he's cleverly put it on his phone's calendar and the phone "got it wrong."
Flowers are flowers are flowers! They may not be the perfect answer but they're always welcome, no?
No he doesnt have our anniversary on his phone (we use a shared google calendar). No one is having an affair or thinks the other is. I was leaning towards getting himself out of the doghouse...or getting himself into it again and trying to get out faster lol!
The flowers were because he felt bad for waking me up this morning! I don’t recall what promopted me to say this but the other day I semi-complained/reminded him that I am the only one in this house who doesn’t get a night of uninterrupted sleep! Soast night....Hubs must have been congested because because he was snoring despite having his crap on, so I ended up sleeping on the loveseat in the living room. He got up for work at 6:20 and I went into the bedroom to sleep some more. 2 minutes later he came in asking where the remote was-i told him it was on the couch. A few minutes later he angerly stomps into the room because he couldn’t find the remote and takes the remote for the TV in our room and says if it doesn’t work in the living room, he’s coming into the bedroom to watch TV. Annnndddd....the dang remote didn’t work out there so he came back to our room and turned on the TV. I went back to the couch until he left 30 minutes later, and then went and sleep in the bedroom for an hour & a half until my oldest came in and woke me to tell me there were flowers at the front door. And the missing remote was where I said it was-on the couch. If he had turned on the lights, he would have seen it in the couch cushion!
now for a real “whine moment of the day”. My 71 year old disabled (he has ONE arm) father wants to buy a motorcycle!!!!!! Seems my mother told him, almost 20 years ago, that if he got rid of his classic car, he could get a motorcycle. He totaled the car last month-the 3rd car he has totaled because he has no business driving (because he has narcolepsy and cognitive decline) and now he wants mom to uphold her agreement!! My mom is holding strong and keeps telling him he wasn’t 71 years old when she made that agreement! And she’s gotten him to agree to use the insurance money to put in new carpets. I don’t know why, at their age, and with 2 cats and 2 dogs, they keeping putting in new flooring but it makes it harder for him to get his hands on the money, then mom should upgrade the whole house LOL! I just don’t trust my dad. When he bought the classic car, he went behind my moms back & took the money out of their savings account (it was from the sale of their house here) and bought the car. I don’t trust him not to pull money out of his retirement and buy a damn motorcycle even though he would never be able to pass the licensing test—he’s not physically capable of riding a motorcycle. He’s not strong enough to sit on one and hold it up. And with a hook for a hand, I don’t know that he can actually operate one. My hubby’s old motorcycle, you used gears on the handle bars, there were buttons and a handle like the brake handle on a bicycle.
While it was the hardest thing I have ever done and it was rough, everyone has their reasons for the choices they make, and while it was rough, I had my reasons. I am still trying to recover from that time now, though now the MIL failing is looming. Double whammy. I guess sometimes we try to help other caregivers by answering their questions and some come on here and say things that are upsetting to us. I should use the Gray Rock Method and just let things that bother me roll off. It is only someone else's opinion or view of something they don't fully understand.
Someone on another thread had mentioned the Gray Rock Method for dealing with people, especially narcissists who try to get one's goat, so to speak. I googled it and it is an interesting coping tool. I have two "friends" who are narcissists, and MIL can show these tendencies as well.
So.....today the handyman is here putting up a new gate on the side of the house. It is 86 degrees out here in the desert (read: DRY HEAT). I thought the guy probably 40-50 years old.
NO. HE IS 76 YEARS OLD! OMG. On one hand, how amazing is that? He’s a handyman at that age and he’s out in this heat building a wooden gate.
On the other hand, I kind of feel like my parents are kinda wrong for this. He’s older than they are! And it’s HOT outside! This just doesn’t feel right to me but at the same time I think the handyman is awesome for doing this kind of work at his age!
my dad lost his debit card this morning! He went in to town, to Lowe’s, to buy more wood for the gate being built. Came home and doesn’t have his debit card so he’s gone back to look for it. When I was here in April, he kept losing his phone! Leaving it at a slot machine and walking away. We went to the casino one afternoon & he left it sitting on a slot machine again! Told mom & I that he went back to the machine and it was gone. So he goes to security to ask for help & I go back to the machine I saw him playing on and there was his phone! This time it’s the debit card. I don’t understand how he could leave his card behind? The machines beep until you take the card out. My dad still has it together enough to go to the store but he doesn’t have the ability to remember to take his card out of the machine and pick up his phone! He’s been losing his debit card and phone repeatedly for months now. What do you even do about it? He’s not at the point when they need to be taken away. Not that we would take the phone away. This just sucks!
edit-the card is gone. Moms calling the bank now to cancel it. 5th time this year he has left his card behind. I don’t get it, the machines beep when it’s time to take the card out. And why wouldn’t the Lowe’s employee notice the beeping as my dad was walking away? Not that it’s the employees fault. My mom is mad because my dad won’t admit anything is wrong and that he’s declining cognitively. She said she’s gonna start giving him cash when he needs to go to buy something!
Really though, has anyone else had trouble with double posts lately or am I just succumbing to old age?
He also thought I was my 35 year old brother’s younger sister too......I told dad to pay the man double!
you really don’t see “older” folks doing manual labor where I’m from. Actually you don’t see a lot of “senior citizens” at all. I think most leave the state after retirement because it’s cheaper to live elsewhere.
this handyman is a busy guy, he’s in demand apparently. All the neighbors use him too. He remodeled the house across the street not too long ago. Mom said they had to wait about 3 weeks before he was able to come out and build the new gate. Really nice man and I wouldn’t have guessed he was 76 by the way he moves. If only we could all be so lucky right ?
He sounds like my grandfather ( mom’s dad). He stayed active until he died. He was a ship builder. He built smaller fishing boats on the side as well. He was more than a carpenter, a true craftsman. He planted the most beautiful garden for my grandma and a veggie garden too. He never stopped.
Grandma was a fabulous cook but he had a sweet tooth that went down to his toes. He would go in the kitchen and make homemade ice cream with the old fashioned hand crank ice cream machine. It was the best ice cream I have ever tasted!
With his leftover wood he would build us things. Once he built my younger brother and I stilts. I became so good at walking on them that I would walk around the block on them. All the neighbor kids wanted them, so grandpa made them a pair of stilts too!
He was a gem! I loved him so. Everywhere I went with him, everyone knew his name and would stop to talk to him. He was that kind of guy. He was larger than life to me.
Washing mom’s sheets constantly from accidents. She can’t always make it to her bedside commode.
Her nightmares are keeping me up too. She’s fighting with someone. Sometimes she calls out my dad’s name. Sad.
So I am wiped out!
After my friend's mom died, we helped his dad with my friend's outbursts. We understood that he was grieving but after almost 2 and a half years of kicking and punching walls and threatening to beat people up, we helped get him into a group home and the help he needed. His dad has disabilities himself but always has been a kind of a jerk. He basically said that as far as he knows, everything is ok and he could be doing activities with the group home. I said that I have been trying for a week but kept getting a busy signal on his phone. His dad didn't respond to that. I might have Aspberger's but even I can tell that that this is a jerky situation. I don't know what else to do but leave it alone and let him call me.
Dad does sound a jerk. He didn’t even bother to try to get to in touch with his son for you? If you have your friends address, you could write him a letter right?
"Look at the parents," it said. Reserved, minimal eye contact, undemonstrative - and yes the description was still of the parents.
If friend has full blown autism it's a pound to a penny that one or both parents also struggled with social interaction. No point holding anything against the father for being so unhelpful.
Do you ever visit the group home? Would they know you as a friend of his if you were to call round?
I find the trouble with cellphones is that if they go wrong for any reason you're left dangling with no idea of what's going on. He could have lost it, dropped it, it might be out of order, someone could have pinched it - anything.
Anyway - I hope it's nothing to worry about, and it all gets explained before long.
1) If you are calling a landline at a group home, it very well could be busy-all the time.
Used to be that an operator could interrupt the call and ask that the line be released. The operator could at least check if the line is in use.
2) If you are calling a cell phone, a similar busy signal could indicate the circuits
or cell towers are off. A cell phone does not usually give a busy signal, imo.
3) When communication has gone wrong with my loved one with asperger's, and I could not reach him at the expected time, it has always been a ridiculously simple explanation, leaving me embarrassed to be worried at all.