My "whine moment today." What's yours?

I left Facebook three years ago when my SIL 'friended' Daughter 1, so that I couldn't log on to daughter's page without seeing SIL's stupid fat face gurning on my screen.

It was a sensitive time and leaving Facebook seemed moderate compared to my first instinct of smashing the computer in with a 2lb claw hammer.

FF your pictures and business aren’t out there for the whole world to see. Like all social media, Facebook has privacy settings so you can control who sees what. Nothing is public unless you make your profile public. You can lock your information down completely so that only your friends can see it, or only you can see it.

Posting pictures of children on FB seems to be an issue for older generations. I am curious, do you guys realize that even if we don’t post our children’s pictures online, pictures of them can and still will end up online? It’s not illegal to take pictures of people in public places. Quite a few unfortunately looking people (adults and children) are internet-famous because some stranger photographed them in public and turned the photo in to a meme. Your child’s photo doesn’t have to posted on Facebook in order for it to be grabbed/taken and placed on inappropriate websites. Pedophiles are lurking everywhere....and with most people having a smart phone these days, Facebook is hardly the bad guy. All it takes is one bad person with a smart phone. Facebook not required.

I like FB. My kids and DILs are over a 2-day drive away, but I also have cousins, 2nd cousins, and an aunt (97!) that I have met only once or twice.  They are in New Zealand, and Australia.  We actually converse on FB or Messenger.

I am old enough to remember a new oceanic phone cable connecting those 2 countries to the rest of the world.  Mum set up a time with her sisters and family (by mail) and they were all at one house when we called.  I might  have been 5. It is the ONLY time I ever spoke with my NZ grandfather, as he died a week before I got married the first time.  So this instant, or nearly so, communication around the world is miraculous to me.

PS I have 'Friends Only' FB setting, and I've deleted many pictures.  I also make an effort to call or write to old friends who are not on FB.  No whine today.

GrannieAnnie,
I love F.B. too and for the very same reasons! My Dad would have loved it so much. He came to America and became a U.S. citizen after the Hungarian Revolution in 1957. I remember first the airmail letters back and forth. Then the time and day was set for the phone call. You had to go potty and have something to eat or drink with you at the start of the call. It had to go to Wichita then New York City, across the transatlantic cable to England or France operator and then to Budapest. It took like 30 min. to get connected. Now I can converse with cousins and Goggle translates. It is so wonderful. You are right just put the settings on private in F.B. I am almost 57 years old but those calls were a big part of our lives. Thank you for reminding of good memories today! Sorry but no whine today haha! P.S. No F.B. is also a fine choice too.

Jeanette, I try to prep meals beforehand so I can get a bunch of labor-intensive things done at once and freeze of refrigerate them. I use disposable tins and lids from 30 Meals in A Month to freeze individual portions of things like baked chicken tenders (I buy a big batch and bake them all at once.) I defrost a tin on the day I plan to eat chicken, nuke it, then add some salsa and a vegetable.
My husband usually makes whatever he wants to eat.

Regarding social media, security breaches do happen. Such websites do takes steps to enforce your security settings, but can it guarantee those settings?

I remember back when I would get strange emails from friends/relatives only to find that their email accounts were breached, thus all the saved emails in their "contact" list would get this email that if one clicked on the link, it would download a worm into the computer's software. Look at how many business accounts have been hacked over the years.

My Dad wrote code in the 1960's for software, and he warned me that in the future there will be coders who will get into the software to mess it up. Sure enough he was right.

Ok, here goes. I am whining because I have no resolution to this so I am venting. My sister in law is a caregiver, working for an agency, and has been for many years. My brother hired her as a caregiver for our dad. they married and dad needed to go to AL. She takes great care of my brother, and for that I am grateful. My concern is the photos she posts on social media of her and her caregiver associates and clients that do not protect the dignity of the client. I would not want to be a family member that sees a photo on public social media asking for "prayers and a speedy recovery" for my loved one that includes the caregivers surrounding the client who looks to be at death's door, mouth open and not in a conscious state, caregivers posing making peace signs all around and goofy faces as seems to be the norm in their photos,, joyful and carefree, and then the comments defer to how they were all picnicking with lumpia and other foods and how great a time they were having, thanking each other for bringing stuff. I told my brother that I found this inappropriate and his response was that FB is a cesspool and that if I don't like what I see on FB, to not go there. My sis in law says it's a cultural thing and that I am overreacting. I fear that my brother and wife may be sued. The owner of the caregiver company is not approachable, I had issues with her employees taking care of my mom and fired them. End of whine.

I am suitably appalled.

Cultural thing my a - eye. In that case, if it's just something other people do in that context but she wouldn't originate it, why's she doing it herself?

Besides, it may be a kind of work-related in-joke but it's a BAD joke, and for one thing I'll bet it doesn't feature in the agency's brochure.

It's on Facebook. That means it's accessible by family members of clients, by clients themselves, by ANYONE; and it's not only undignified but it also puts the clients on a public forum without their consent and must be a breach of their rights.

I'd refer this to whichever regulator superintends care standards in your area. It's repellant.

People get fired or sued over stuff like that Kwyattearp (as well they should), I hope your SIL at least has enough sense to restrict her facebook photos to friends and family.

Just because something is on Facebook, it’s NOT automatically accessible by everyone. It all comes down the persons privacy settings. Nothing you post on your own wall—such as asking for prayers-is public unless you set it up that way. Definitely NOT defending putting things like that on FB, but I do think it’s important that people understand that nothing you post on your own FB page is public and accessible to all unless you set it up that way. You can make everything public, you can make it visible to only your friends, you can also allow friends of friends to see it. You can also limit what each friend on your page can see—say you have co-workers or aquaintances on your friends list, you can restrict what they see.

FF, Facebook doesn’t have any person information other than your name and DOB and a phone number. They don’t verify anything so you can use fake info. I am not worried about my account getting hacked because they don’t have any personal information that anyone can use. There is far more information you can find out about someone just by doing a google search. A lot of people don’t realize just how much is on the internet already.

i do use Facebook to keep in touch with people. My very small family is spread out. I am the last one in my hometown. Have a cousin an hour a away, an aunt & uncle & their kids in SoCal. Everyone else has left the state. So it’s a good way to keep in touch. I don’t post anything on my own profile anymore just because it’s not really my thing.

My parents both use it. My mom uses it to keep in touch with old coworkers who became lifelong friends. It allowed her to re-connect with some old grade school friends who now live about 45 minutes from her. She would have never found them otherwise. And now they all meet up once or twice a month for lunch!

lf course it can also can problems. Unnecessary drama. Maybe not the best example but over the weekend my SIL posted a few items for sale in some Facebook groups. The groups are public and I saw them when scrolling through my feed. Being that I am generally a nosy person, I looked to see if she had sold these items (leftovers from the family yard sale we had on Saturday) and I stumbled across a listing for my MILs hutch! She had listed it in one of the sale groups for $500. The thing is, it’s not hers to sell. It belongs to the trust. She posted the ad the day after my MIL died (before we discovered the stolen money), and I know she was helping MILs partner to try to sell it-he wanted it gone the second she died! The hutch wasn’t his either, it wasn’t his to sell so he legally wasn’t entitled to the money either. The listing was marked “sold” and at first thought.....do i screen shot this, send it to hubby and ask if he knows his sister sold the hutch? I know she’s never asked him if she can. It bugged me because that $500 should have gone to the estate not MILs partner. Then I thought better of it and decided it’s not my business. And then I remembered that the hutch is in her house, in the kids playroom!

It can also be a source of entertainment at other people’s expense. When my BIL split from his now ex wife the 2nd time, he jumped in to a relationship with a gal who is a real wackadoodle and the whole family and he & now ex’s mutual friends found out about it because she started confessing her love for him on Facebook & tagging him in the posts, which made the posts show up on all his facebook friends feeds! They had just started dating and every day she was professing her love for him. Then he started doing the same thing! She must have been a big Chicago fan because she kept posting their videos and dedicating them to him. On his wedding anniversary, they each posted a long post saying how much in love they are.....while he was still married to his now ex wife. On their wedding anniversary! You would have thought he & this gal had been together for a long time, the way they carried on! It was quite entertaining.

Really conflicted about Facebook.
I want to see family photos.
I just saw this:
"You know you are a bad driver when Siri says:
"In 400 feet, pull over and let me out!"

(sigh); Just got home from 23 hours in the ER at the Best Hospital in the USA (it really is; fabulous nursing, which in my book is what makes a hospital.

Back home; maybe a TIA? Maybe Bell's Palsy? Need to follow up with neurology. All is well.

Worried, while that is of course true I don't think many Facebook users are as discreet and cautious as they might be (not to mention sober at all times), and the strength of a firewall is the strength of its weakest brick, so to speak.

I didn't, either, share my brother's conviction that any personal information or correspondence you ever put on line receives the immediate attention of the Head of MI6; but I have had a general background rule that if I really, really wouldn't want something about me to be public - I don't put it online. The only reason I'm not worried about using my debit card for purchases is that any cybercriminals hacking into my bank account are going to be savagely disappointed.

I use Facebook to stalk my children.

And I should clarify; that's DH who may have had a TIA or Bell's Palsy. I'm as healthy as a horse (touch wood).

OMG, sorry to read this, Barb. What a rough day! Hope you are both getting some rest today, and that you have some answers as to what's going on soon.

Barb

sorry to hear about hubs / he has the best advocate with you by his side

I’d send someone to Valhalla to deal with Vikings in the afterlife if I ever saw a party scene posted online by one of mom’s caregivers of their client’s final hours

Barb, first thought it was you. Sorry it was hubs, hope all turns out well.

FB, I use it for the beautiful pictures that are posted there. Once in awhile will check in on my kiddos. But, often dd1 posts something that ts1 has to make comment about. Just gets me going. Crazy making, just stupid comments that could very well be posted just to irritate. I do use FB for games, never, ever, post personal stuff except a very infrequent photo of grands. The one there now is nearly two years old, but is very cute, all five in one shot!

My son doesn't do FB, good for him!

I tried to be a good citizen tonight and report what clearly looked like an intoxicated driver on the freeway

hard enough to dial 911 while driving and give information but then the operator wanted all my personal info - imho wasting time

Madge: I agree. I’m weary of the 3rd Degree that 911 drags me through - when I call to report something.

I know they have to screen for crackpots and such, but sheesh. With Caller ID technology and “pinging,” 911 has a damm good idea of the origin of the call before I open my mouth. THEN after all that, the operator sometimes asks “do you want this to be an anonymous report?” 🙄

Also - does anyone else miss the good old days of the police “non-emergency” phone number? When I call to report an illegally parked car that’s blocking my ability to safely exit my street or a dog that’s been barking for 6 hours, being greeted with “911, what is your emergency?” always makes me feel sheepish.

Why can't you call the police department or animal control? Maybe calling 211 is an option.

911 should only be used for emergencies.

Google non-emergency police number in your location.

Animal control works. I had a bat with a broken wing on my fence before and they came and got him.

Madge,

Know what you mean about wanting unnecessary information. It is not only a waste of time but dangerous for those needing help. I’ve been through that calling 911 for mom at home. They also get downright rude if you try to give pertinent information first.

Don’t get me started on the Humana alert button. The reaction time is delayed, then you call 911 because Humana isn’t working, Humana finally kicks in and you politely tell them they are no longer needed because you had to call 911 because they didn’t respond and they freakin won’t hang up and interfere with getting info to the 911 operator.

So, ended up having to cancel a service I paid for with Humana that was a complete waste of money.

Non emergency numbers still exist. Every department here has one. And the greeting is different than when you call 911. And in both cases, you can decline to give personal information.

Whine of the day didn’t come from me. My iPhone’s search bar has too quick a trigger finger and often sends me somewhere I didn’t want to go. This had happened three times in a row when Siri suddenly made an appearance.
I growled “Siri, go away!”
Siri: “Sorry, just trying to help!” She actually sounded huffy!
Yeah, my life is pretty good, I guess.
😀

My boss usually has weekly arguments with Siri..... every now and then I will hear him say "ah shut up" to this cellphone.

I am amazed he can even remember how to dial a telephone as he uses Siri to connect all of his calls. Of course, half the time the people on the other end cannot hear or understand him due to poor connections. The phone picks up too much background noise. Drives me crazy, as I usually have to to start the conversation all over again when he gets into the office :P

I don’t let Siri auto text if I am driving. Last time I did my daughter called me and asked if I was drunk! Siri typed total nonsense. Hahaha

Cali,

Can you decline? Really? Have to remember that. They argue with me about it.

Barb,

23 hours in ER! Geeeeeez, exhausting...hope hubby is okay.

Yes you can decline. No one ever has to identify themselves. They won’t refuse to dispatch the call either. They can’t. They are trained to ask for certain info and it does make things easier when they have a call back number in case the officer needs more information or something but no one is required to give their info.