I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Im working 24 hr shifts. My parents left the state to go see a doctor, and my older sibbling who literally lives in an apartment next to my parents' house, asked me to pack my clothes and house sit.
Like what the heck! He lives next to the house, works a regular 9-5 job but expects me to carry over my stuff and house sit all whilst Im oncall ???
Im already the one who will be joining the parents' at the doctor's visit this week..
Please set boundaries with your siblings. Do not allow them bully you. Live your life the way you choose to live it. You have a challenging job and a future to think of.
Things can’t always work out between siblings and parents. Trust me I know firsthand. I was the one who gave the most to my mother. I was the one who was criticized the most. I sacrificed everything for her. Looking back, would I do it again? Hell no! Did mom need care? Absolutely, and I can totally empathize with that but it robbed me from being her daughter. It destroyed the mother/daughter relationship in every possible way. More importantly, I robbed myself of my life that was equally important as was my husband’s and children’s lives.
I am no longer her caregiver. Unfortunately, it did not end well. I started setting boundaries and it didn’t sit well with mom or siblings and they thought they could do better and I told mom to go with them. She lived with me nearly 15 years. She will only be with my brother until he can place her somewhere. We no longer have any contact. Things can become complicated.
Please don’t get overly involved with your siblings. Even if it sounds selfish, put yourself first. Do not make the mistake that I did by sacrificing everything for them. I hear your justified resentment in your post. Hold onto what is important to you. Let them figure out what is best. Adult children should never become overwhelmed and burn out like I did.
It sounds like you are wiser than I was. I foolishly did what they expected of me. Others tried to tell me and I didn’t listen because I caved in due to feeling guilty. I wasn’t thinking clearly from being overwhelmed.
Take care.
But, there was a elderly woman and her daughter that came in right after me. Their third trip back trying to get the documentation together for elderly mom. They go through a list of questions, what is your birthday, what is your address, do you have any licenses revoked from another state, etc. Mom did not know the answers to the questions, daughter had to tell her how to answer. And they issued the driver's license?!
This is the mother of the doctor I wrote about a week or two ago. The retired doctor that told the reporter that they were able to find the medications to slow progression of dementia! I wouldn't think this woman would even try to drive, but why not an id instead of a license?! Small towns!
More hugs.
The click private message is on the left now.
Anymore?
I cannot put in to words the rage I feel when I feel like someone is trying to restrict MY access to MY children. I tell you, mama bear really comes out. Today my daughter called me at 10:15am, from school, and asked me to bring her a jacket because she was “freezing”. It was 70 degrees but alright, I took her a jacket. She said to leave it in the front office and that they would call her up there to get it. So I get there, and this is her first year at this school and I didn’t even know where the office was to be honest. I saw a man carrying a lunch box stop at the front gate and push a button on the wall and then talk in to a speaker or something—he said he was bringing his kid lunch. He opened the gate and I followed him through it. So there’s the front office right through the gate on the right side. So I walked in behind him and when the secretary (I assume) looked up at me, I told her why I was there and she asked how I got in! I said I followed the gentlemen in and she gave me a snotty look and said “well you can’t do that”. Oh excuse me? I can and I did. I do not need anyone’s permission either, by law the schools must give parents access. We can show up at random. It’s the law. Of course I didn’t say anything, I just smiled at her, wrote my daughters name on a slip of paper and walked out.
Then last week, I sat outside the school for almost 10 minutes waiting for her and she wasn’t answering her phone either. Of course I’m starting to worry, like what if she’s been kidnapped or had a medical emergency? Turns out a couple kids in her class were being unruly so her teacher refused to let the class leave. Again the rage comes out! If my kid wasn’t being unruly, the teacher doesn’t not need to detain her after school has let out. I told her, if it happens again, just walk out and I will deal with the teacher myself if he has a problem with it. Of course she’s a good girl & she told me she can’t do that lol. I know I am being unreasonable but like I said, if I feel like my kid is being kept from me, I get very angry and unreasonable. She is my child, I don’t need anyone’s permission to see her. I call the shots. And I know why the schools are like this and don’t just let anyone in but still. I’m just a harmless parent, I was just dropping off a jacket, I wasn’t there to shoot up the place! She could have just smiled and explained that I needed to stop at the speaker and ask for permission or whatever. I mean I assume after seeing the other parent do it, that that’s what I was supposed to do.
my other source of rage is that my 7 year old is playing football this year and as of last week, they have have barred parents from the field. No idea why. I always stay the full 2 hours and watch my son, mostly because he needs help putting on and taking off his equipment. I never saw anyone getting in the way, in fact no parent ever interfered during practice, at least not on my sons team. We all sat in the same area. Some parents did yell at their kids to run when it was time to run but that was the extend of parent involvement. Maybe the older boy’s team had an issue or something. But point is, we can’t be on the field watching anymore. And I really don’t like it. They even moved my sons team to the back right side of the field so we can’t hardly see them from where we are allowed to sit. A few of us have started sitting on the sidewalk on the side of the field where they practice now. And they can’t say a damn thing to us because it’s a public sidewalk and they are on a public field.
I think I just have a problem with the idea that someone other than my husband and I, has control over our children.
As for barring parents from practice - games too? - some people think any kind of cheering or encouragement at all from the sidelines is too much, it seems like we aren't even supposed to cheer when a goal is scored because it is discouraging to the other team 🙄. And of course there "are" those parents who are over the top.
We can still go to their games. There’s been no changes there. It’s only practices that they don’t really want us watching! Which I can’t understand because this area has had issues with coaches and inappropriate behavior/sexual abuse. Coaches from different leagues and school coaches. Also one of my sons team’s coaches from last year was arrested for murder earlier this year too. I’m thinking either parents were leaving behind trash or something happened involving the older boy’s parents. The season started 7 weeks ago so to make this change after 6 weeks was just really random!
As Linda22 wrote, there should always be at least 2 parents there at all times to oversee, and to attend to needy kids. I have a DIL who is a kind of a Helicopter Mom, and she would never stand for this sort of thing. She even makes sure one of us Grandparents can be there, in case she can't be at 2 separate fields at the same time, when our Grandkids are playing at different places. We can't be too careful with our kids these days.
Rregarding buzzing & signing into your kids school, now That I understand and actually appreciate due to the crazy school shooters out there.
We used to live right near an elementary school, and recall several times where the school went into total lockdown and parents were frantic they couldn't get to their kids after hearing about it on the news, or from their terrified kids inside with cellphones. The police would cordoned off the surrounding streets (my street), and parents would line up awaiting the "all clear", all standing outside their cars chatting with one another, Mom's freaking out. Thankfully most of the time it was precautionary due to a 911 call of "shots fired" in the area, a crime suspect on the run, or a bank robbery nearby.
It's great that they have these cautionary drills now established in all the schools, but they are so scary for the kids and parents both. It's strange that we never heard of such a thing when we were kids. What has this world come to?
It's terrible that they cut her off, and now she might have to pay a termination penalty for the next plan she enrols in. Try playing on their emotions and how she now cannot afford her medications. Always ask to speak with the Customer Service Manager, as they sometimes have the ability to authorize reinstatement. You also might get a Drs note, as to her increasing mental confusion. Good Luck!
The carpet men were due here an hour ago and they still haven't called or come and when my dH called them,there was no answer.
We've completely cleared 2 rooms of everything and made the biggest mess in 2 other rooms.
Why can't people keep their word and be reliable?
I could cry or scream.I just can't decide.
Stacey, I appreciate the buzzing in at the schools too and all the safety measures. This just caught me off guard. At the elementary school, you can walk in to the main building through the front doors as you please BUT once you are inside the front doors, there is a big glass window on the right side and Behind that glass is the secretary and the office. Principles office is on the left side. Straight ahead are 2 more locked doors that lead in to the hallways where the classrooms are and once you’ve checked in at the window, they buzz you in. I guess I was expecting the same thing at the middle school. the front gates there have always been open when I’ve been at the school so until I got there yesterday, I had no idea that during school hours, they are kept locked and you have to be buzzed in. Individually. I really didn’t think twice about following that other parent in. My bad.
yes this county has been plagued with bad coaches! Some were softball coaches, some coached various sports at the high school. Even a female softball coach was arrested for sexually abusing a player, she was convicted earlier this year! The other thing I did not mention is the parents on my sons team. Some are gang members and some are just not good people, not the kind of people we would normally hang out with. Ironically one of the parents is the head of an organization that despises my husbands employer and that um....job industry as a whole and they are actively campaigning against their efforts to improve the community so that’s another problem. But I like my sons coaches and I like the kids, my son is learning to play football and has asked if he can play again next year so it’s all worth it to me! M
what really makes me sad for the kids is that the schools, at least the schools here, now have lockdown drills. In my day, we had earthquake and fire drills. Today they have lockdown drills. I cried a little when my daughter came home from kindergartner and told me they had a lockdown drill :(
lockdowns are common in my city but, and I am so thankful for this, it common in the county area where my kids go to school. Since my daughter started school in 2013, there has not been a single lock down a lot either school. But there have been lockdowns at every school within the city limits. That’s one reason why we transfered them out of the district. There was a lockdown at a school today actually, the police were looking for a armed man near the school.
My first visit he planed the tooth down and put a temporary crown on the tooth. Then yesterday I go and am all set for the permanent crown and after a hour in the chair am told the filling in my old tooth had a crack and I needed a root canal. So while not thrilled with this news I went today for the root canal. I sit in the chair for an hour and a half and am now told they couldn't get into the third canal and I either have to go to an endodontist which still may not save the tooth and is expensive or I'll need to get the tooth pulled and possibly get an implant.
This is so irritating. I originally just wanted the tooth pulled anyway. Now I'll probably get that done after spending all that money on the other stuff. Sometimes I really wonder how honest dental practices are. We are just at the mercy of their so-called expertise.
Oh yes, and I'm on amoxicillin now for a week and tylenol 3's. Dang it all anyway!
Endodontist, periodontist, orthodontist, and Uncle Tom Cobley and all - I suppose the moral is to look them in the eye and say "is this fancy-pants plan of yours actually going to work, from my point of view?"
Like you'd get a straight answer!
Wish you better.
Thx for the good wishes!
If you have AAA, you can call and have them tow your car to the mechanic.
Edit: I just saw a video online that shows you how to glue a new glass on top of the old glass. So, evidently, you can just replace the glass part and not the whole mirror.
hopeful they can replace the glass.
polar, that’s just awful!! It’s too bad you couldn’t go after his insurance (if he had any) for something like that! I am so sorry that happened!
(Sorry, I know it's too soon to worry but I had to tell somebody or I think my head will explode)
It’s always unnerving to get a call from the doctor’s office. Your reaction is completely normal. Did they give any indication of why?
My doctor has rescheduled appointments because she was going on her honeymoon and was seeing all of her patients before her trip.
I have had rescheduled appointments and the office will sometimes give a reason or simply say they won’t be in the office that day.
For me when there was an issue I was told. Such as my lab work was off and I was asked to have new lab work done so my medication could be adjusted properly.