For the last six months, 96 year 8 month old mother has been getting very agitated about having her purse, her ID, her checks, etc. Up until the weekend, I have been able to dismiss it and change subjects. Mother was placed in Hospice care due to her deteriorating medical health.
Mother was diagnosed with another UTI which explains her mental state. However, she has been on medication since Saturday, and she is getting worse. She keeps insisting that she has been in Las Vegas and everyone went with her. She is mad at everyone for not agreeing with her.
I went to see her tonight, and it was like dealing with a crazy person. (I know, because my ex-husband was bi-polar) Talking to the staff, she was fine all day. Right after dinner she started in again--sundowning.
My mistake was going to talk to her tonight. She was screaming at me and telling me she was going to call the police because she is living in a concentration camp. She also told me that I was being horrible, and she should have died the way I am treating her now. I told her I was leaving and to give me a kiss. She refused.
Plans are that I will stay away until Sunday since I make everything worse. Nurse is going to check on her tomorrow to check her mental status. On Sunday, my husband will go with me and visit with her. IF she starts screaming at me again, i will just up and leave. I refuse to go back on Lexapro. After 27 years of caregiving and jumping at every command, I am throwing in the towel.
Thanks for listening. It is really hard because my mother was my best friend. Today that ended.
Antipsychotic meds helped improve the quality of my mother's life at the NH. And it improved our relationship. If only she had agreed to medication earlier in life.....She also demanded certain things be brought to her as well; and I did as you are doing - I had to walk away. It is their reality and there is nothing we can do about it, unfortunately. Best thing is to not agitate them in any way, and I found walking away and keeping a distance for a time was helpful in all regards. Hoping things improve for you and take care.
I will visit briefly on Sunday. If she demands those things again, I will just walk away. I am not going to argue about it anymore. It is now up to Hospice and Assisted Living to take care of the situation. She pushed me over the edge once, and it will not happen again.
It is upsetting, but at this point going along with her reality is best for you both.
I hope that your mother's craziness clears as her UTI clears. UTIs can have some terrible effects on elderly people. It's not unusual for a person to become psychotic. Let us know what happens as she gets better.