Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
His gift of gab comes in handy right now. He comes with me to the NH everyday when I visit my parents. After my cursory hellos and listening abiut their latest issues I turn him loose to talk to them and he talks and doesn’t stop, just keeps going, it’s just a steady stream of small things. . He can make small talk so incredibly small. He keeps the conversation going with them. It’s truly a talent. 😂
My parents seem to enjoy his visits, probably more than mine.
I'm not a big small talker, I get it older people that's what they do. I will have coffee with my husband 72 somedays it goes into rambling about nothing, he could do that for hours, in the winter, who is related to who? ECT ........
Then I go to moms, and I let her ramble for ever
Then I come home and my autistic like step son is leaving for work and he will stop and start his small talk.
Then he goes to work and I'm back to my husbands small talk.
I've learned how to walk away. Today my husband was rambling and I was putting my shoes on. I told him I'm taking a walk but if he wants to keep chatting up a storm you can come with me. Lol
But it's really exhausting somedays
We need reassurance that all went well "in the end".
What’s going on?
I have dr who is also my husband’s dr and it takes two weeks to make appointment.
Very good doctor, his partner or cousin working with him is nurse practitioner, actually he is a doctor from Israel. And excellent one, compassionate, understanding, knowledgeable.
Why is he waiting years for his medical license is beyond my understanding, there is evident shortage of doctors.
All I hear is how they should speed things up.
I'm on the waiting list for a new doc. Family doctors are difficult to come by here in Vancouver where I live. A lot of people rely on the hospital emergency or walk-in clinics. So while I don't care for my doc I figure at least I have one. I used to have a great doctor but she retired early.
That’s odd that your doctor wouldn’t send you to a gastroenterologist. My doctor is very thorough but if she questions anything she doesn’t hesitate to send me to see a specialist.
Also, once a person hits a certain age they don’t recommend doing a colonoscopy on them, so one should be done sooner. My younger brother had colon cancer. He kept pushing me to get a colonoscopy.
The procedure itself is nothing. The prep is the most uncomfortable part.
The easiest surgery that I have ever had was my cataract surgery. It was virtually painless and over in 15 minutes!
You are correct. My husband had three polyps removed and none of his were bleeding.
I've never had one. I do that poo sample thing and so far it's been clear. I've always wondered how that replaces a colonoscopy though cause even if your fecal sample shows no blood that doesn't necessarily mean you have no polyps right?
I will say way, it felt really therapeutic to vent all that out today.
Lol. True story ….I bought my current car during Covid , a 3 year old used car that had 4,000 miles on it . Best buy ever .
Exactly , the stubbornness to not change a few ways they do things , like you said the laundry etc . No grab rails because “ they are ugly “ . Not using a walker even after multiple falls and multiple trips via EMS to the ER and Scans because she’s on blood thinners .
Or needing new hearing aids, and having new car in the garage , that has only 5,000 miles on it never gets used. But won't sell, and won't let you take her to the doctors to save wear on your car with her car because it because she is saving it , for???? And spends 100s a week at dollar general. But hearing is not important
Lol reading all this I'm like no wonder I get so frustrated, and have seriously backed off the last few weeks. I just can't watch it anymore. But have no power to change anything.
My grandma was so sweet too. We were lucky to have them in our lives. They were sweet when they were young and remained sweet.
I find that if a person was always mean then they remain mean as old people.It’s sad.
She’s going to be a handful. You’re handling it the best way.
You can’t reason or negotiate with her. It’s a safety concern. Of course, she won’t see it that way. You’ll be the bad guy.
I was fortunate that when the doctor told my parents that they couldn’t drive anymore they didn’t argue about it.
I have friends who had to take the keys away from their parents and it became an extremely stressful situation.
Your MIL can’t get around anymore without help. It’s sad and very dangerous for her to remain where she is.
I realize that none of us want to face what she is but it happens and we have to deal with it appropriately.
I don’t need anymore challenges , and I’m not betting money on cooperation . She will not want to give up the car . She’s very controlling , she will look at it as losing control .
I’m going to ask her what are her plans since she can barely walk . She will deny any problems. I will point blank tell her that she is declining .
Your MIL is challenging. I hope she will be cooperative with you and your husband.
I am glad you’re going. I always did the home tests. Mine showed blood so I had to go in and they removed a bleeding polyp.
My husband also did the home testing. I asked him to schedule a hospital visit and he had three polyps.
It’s better to stay on top of things.
Wishing you well.
I think the joy comes a few days after it is done.
Prayers for a good outcome!
You are braver than me.
I'm in a similar situation, my brother is poa, but works 2 high demanding jobs, and has major 911 related health issue
So his mind is not in being POA and my hands are pretty much tied. I tried to talk to him but that didn't go well.
So here I am trying to do the best I can in a crappy situation, of worry.
And my mothers stubborn and her congitive decline is to far to reason with her
This is true . We have learned from watching our parents that a longer life does not equate to staying spry until we die . This is what my in laws assumed . But modern medicine does not stop aging , it just pushes back the date of death .
I will first ask MIL what her plans are , see if she’s even able to come up with a plan for when she can’t get up the stairs or drive . I know she can’t use a computer or smart phone . I did research and there is a service she could call on the phone to get an Uber to come .
If she is still in denial of how she is deteriorating physically ( she has CLL has lost a lot of weight ) , then I will point blank tell her that her mobility is getting worse and see what she says .
Her standard answer is usually that she wouldn’t want to live in a facility . This time I will push to see if she can even plan how to stay at home then .
Without POA we can’t do anything anyway except call DMV about a drivers test . We have no idea who her doctors are . If she has dementia , I’m sure she showtimes well . We could ask her for the name of her primary saying for emergencies just to have the number I guess , perhaps we could mail a letter to him/her.
It may not help your MIL, but you don't have anything to loose. Good luck, let us know how it goes
Meanwhile we are going to visit 87 yo MIL this Saturday. I’m having MIL scaries . She bear crawls up her stairs to her master and full bath , walks poorly , refuses walker , grab bars , stair lift , moving etc . Holds onto furniture and walls. She says her cane is enough when she goes out . It’s NOT . She falls a lot because she is bent over from the waist getting closer to 90 degrees , a crooked scoliosis angle and puts too much weight on the cane and it gives way to one side or the other and down she goes . She also has a bad contracted artificial left knee , a built up sneaker sole and left foot drop . The built up shoe doesn’t even help anymore, it never touches the ground . She walks on the toe of that foot . She insists she stands up straight , and has only “shrunk alittle “. To watch her walk is a sight to be seen ! She still drives , has always refused any of our suggestions etc. DH will not be forceful enough . So I’m gearing up to tell her like it is this Saturday !! Sheez. I’m assuming I will be contacting DMV after our visit .
She doesn’t have to listen she has no POA. But I think she may have early dementia . I’m going to try to shake her tree and see what her responses are like . I doubt she would ever go for any cog testing. It’s not going to be fun . We never had a great relationship . She’s a control freak and in her eyes I was the wrong religion and should not have married her son .
Anyway , I just thought this is ironic, I’m trying to prepare for my soon to come more elderly years , and this woman is still denying it .