On My Mind

Llama, Thank you for clarifying that, I thought you meant she wasn't backing up anymore.

You were very blessed that she decided to be safe vs. the alternative.

ITRR: I was implying that my mother willingly stopped driving.

@way

What a lovely mental image I'm picturing of a cat in a window seat chasing snowflakes. Get a picture of that if you can because I think that would make a splendid holiday card.

@Geaton

I wish I was out in rural North Dakota. I'm so tired of wall-to-wall people and traffic of a city. I hope your relative has a plan to move in a caregiver so they never have to move.

I totally understand that living in rural areas can mean less delivery options. I have a relative who lives in a very remote part of North Dakota where the nearest Target store is 80 miles and there's no Amazon delivery (to which I say just kill me now). So this is a reason to move before your elder self needs more and more help. Also, the cost of having a car is greater than the cost of paying for home delivery (loan payment, insurance, repairs/maintenance, gas) and is safer for everyone.

on near misses and caught being old….

DH had a small child dash out from a parked car after a moving van slowly passed the parked car.
Probably seemed very slow to the child. DH was behind the van. Raining. Windshield wipers on. Residential street. No one was speeding. The little boy seemed inches away to DH. He pulled up to the boy and told him Go home and tell your parents you almost got killed playing in the rain. I told DH the little boy probably told his parents an old man yelled at him if he told them anything. I asked DH what did the boy do after he was yelled at. Splashed in the water and took off running across the lawns. Obviously feeling very much alive while DH was spent with the drama of it all.

DH aunt, trying to be helpful, backed her car out of her driveway to allow for departing guests to back into her garage to load their bags more easily. Problem was, aunt backed across the street and into across the street neighbors drive which she had done many times over the years. But this time, she forgot the part where you apply the brakes and instead hit their garage door. She said to the neighbor. I’ll be right back with my check book.

First snow flurries of the season and I haven’t finished leaf raking 😬🙄.

The cat loves it . She’s on the window seat chasing snowflakes .

This means I really have to get going on Christmas , wrapping , sending cards , holiday decorating , at some point baking ……..

Lama, I busted out loud laughing about your legally blind mom making a stance on no more backing into her driveway.

I love tenacious old people that somehow just make things work and quit when they don't.

My grandpa had a close call with a very young child crossing the highway by themselves and he decided to give up driving because he knew he wouldn't have been able to live with harming another because his reflexes had slowed down. (For anyone being critical that he was allowed to drive to long, this little kid was obviously being neglected and was crossing a 6 lane highway outside of a crosswalk by themselves, it would NOT have been grandpa's fault. Praise God that he missed. I wouldn't have encouraged him quitting but, I supported his choice and got on the rotation to be his ride.)

Ali, I just want to say WELL DONE!!! You are rocking this.

12 weeks isn't so bad and you are going to rock your new classes too!

My mother, a,legally blind woman, exclaimed "That's the last time that I back my auto into my driveway." She was in her 80s and went on to live till age 94 with Geographic Atrophy.

Ali: Congratulations!

Ali,

Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s easy to take life for granted. We never know what is in store for our future.

There are times when I am whiny about something going on in my life, and I think back to just a century ago (and for millennia before that) when common folks lived very hard lives. It's easy to take things for granted, like being able to drive everywhere and not have any physical limitations that prohibit that. And, living in a big city, I have lots of options for transportation and having things delivered.

I remember my grandmother's neighbor telling me a story about how GM had gotten into a situation where she was on the wrong side of the road, and her car blocked traffic. She was so independent for so long, but she had to stop driving at some point. Macular degeneration claimed her eyesight, too, Need.

Wishing you all the best, Ali. You will do it. You’ve come this far. Anything that is worth having is worth the effort.

I've completed two MS degree classes with high A's in both classes. My advisor said taking classes one at a time is typical, and it's considered a full-time course load.

Both previous classes were difficult at times. I was also under the weather during a lot of them. But I not only passed, I have around 98% for both of them! That's not just an "A," that's a "you are crushing this, Ali" kind of A.

So... I'm doubling up. I'm taking Measurements, and, Ethics this next term. I just registered for the second class, and both start tomorrow.

It was a gut-check moment. Am I sure I can do this..? It won't be easy, but I can adjust my work schedule. I'm so fortunate to have flexible work right now.

Wish me luck. I have some dread because I know it will be non-stop reading and writing for the next 12 weeks, but I think I'll be fine once I get in the groove. And there's a Christmas break in the middle of the class, which means I will get a halfway-mark pit stop. I got this. 💪

cw,

It’s tough for people who don’t have access to public transportation.

It boggles my mind to think about pioneers who traveled from far away to attain a better life. Many died along the way. I admire them and am certainly grateful to them for blazing a trail for others to follow.

Yeah... grocery delivery is not an option for a whole lot of people who live in rural or disadvantaged areas, and those same areas are less apt to have any reliable transit options either. And of course those who must watch every dollar are not as apt to want to pay the fees associated with delivery either.

Geaton,

Very true! In today’s world we don’t necessarily have to drive. There are delivery options.

Bad weather is another cause for concern. So many things are responsible for accidents and many of them are completely avoidable.

Everyone should be aware about when it isn’t safe to drive.

If we are a caregiver, we should educate our family members that we are living in a new world with many options available for us.

No one has to get behind the wheel of a car and endanger themselves and others who are sharing the road.

We need to make public transportation more accessible for everyone for people who want to remain as independent as possible. Our city added more streetcar lines a while back.

The elderly driver issue: this is why all of us need to invest in and keep up with technology... so we can do convenient things like order our groceries and medications and everything else safely online and have it all delivered. I live in MN so if I can avoid driving to the store in bad weather or when the roads are icy, I certainly take advantage of home delivery. Also, with the advent of self-driving vehicles our hands-on driving "skills" may no longer be an issue in the future.

Techie,

I realize that there are bad drivers in all age groups. Everyone should be held accountable for their actions regardless of age.

All I am saying is, if someone isn’t safe to drive they shouldn’t be driving, especially since they are placing others in danger too.

Love the video's "involved in" language; not at fault or moving violations but "involved" which can include their parked and empty car being hit by another driver, an elder driving into their own fence, etc. Older drivers tend to report even minor bumps to insurance companies and participate in more "incidents" not to be confused with accidents/wreaks with occupied autos.

Similarly, young drivers having collision insurance on their car loans and wanting their insurance to cover repairs for every scratch are also involved in a number of incidents involving a fence or a post or a garage door a single vehicle collided with. They also have more "incidents" with law enforcement where they pay a fine for speeding, tail lights not functioning, drunk driving, etc.

Ask for the numbers where a death results or there is a medical injury (cost) or 2 or more vehicles involved or a determination of fault and compare the age based numbers. You may be surprised. Insurance companies do not offer reduced rates for drivers in a higher risk group but politicians wanting to justify actions (including moneys from increased ticketing and testing) do. It's also possible the data is not comparing cost and age as insurance companies do.

I would be happy to see raw numbers which would show Canada has a differing experience with older drivers than most of the USA.

Drunk drivers are held accountable for their actions. So are drug addicts.

Licenses are suspended. They must attend driver’s education classes.

They pay high fines and in some cases they also go to jail. Many are required to do community service.

Sometimes vehicles are modified with an ignition interlock system.

Their insurance company can deny coverage.

cw,

Eyesight is a major component in accidents. Not being able to see at night causes issues too.

My godmother had macular degeneration. She didn’t have to be convinced not to drive because she never had a driver’s license. She did go blind in her later years and went into a nursing home.

My godfather drove and my godmother relied on him to drive everywhere. He died fairly young and she still didn’t learn how to drive. She walked or took public transportation.

Cwillie, physicians not reporting is where that REQUIRE statement comes into play. Report as the law requires or lose your license - not reviewable by any medical board.

Okay then, how about pulling the driver's license of anyone convicted of using drugs (including marijuana because whether it's a legal intoxicant or not, it still impacts cognitive function)? They are definitely cognitively impaired for durations of time and may or may not have enough sense left to not get on the roads. Or requiring drug testing every 6/12 months until they pass all of them for 5 years? Same for drunking driving? How about people with mental disorders requiring medication to maintain normal function?

You realize the conditions or groups of people named above have MANY times the negative impact (accidents, crimes, and deaths) that older drivers do.

Sorry for going to the numbers guys, but after a lifetime working as a data analyst I can't help myself from using actual data in my responses - just like I read all the study papers that publish the info - and even dig into the actual numbers the studies are based on. The FBI (though they only correlate data submitted from the states) and insurance companies are two of my favorite sources...

I think that doctors are not willing to step up and do their duty in reporting at risk drivers, in my experience the only ones who routinely make reports are neurologists. My mom never had her license pulled when she lost her eyesight... you might think that would be something self evident but when my aunt was having laser treatment for macular degeneration she stubbornly got in the car anyway and she got a little way down the road before realizing she couldn't see - luckily she was able to get herself back home.

This video put out by the MTO includes statistics that do show an increase risk of at fault accidents in older drivers 🤷🏻‍♀️

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWJFDUg-CkY

Alva,

I wholeheartedly agree. Everyone deserves to be safe on our streets.

I personally feel that so many accidents could be prevented if testing would be done more often.

I am lucky that my parents did not fight with their doctors or us about no longer being able to drive.

Mom was having seizures and had Parkinson’s disease. My dad had heart issues and had a stroke. Both were told by their doctors to no longer drive.

TNtechie:
Living in a rural area cannot be the excuse to be driving unsafely.

My brother, who suspected he was having problems, ignored them because he lived alone in Palm Springs where it is crucial to be able to drive. He was in a dreadful accident that changed his life forever, and he was correct in suspecting he has a "problem". That problem was Lewy's Dementia.

He spent his last years thankful he didn't hurt or kill anyone. Luckily he drove his pickup back and forth repetitively from a Palm Tree to a huge garbage recepticle, not two people. Only he was badly hurt with his head smashing through first the front window, then the back, then the front again, and etc.

I am for testing. As to nervousness, we are ALL anxious and nervous when we get testing. That's no excuse to be unsafe on the roads.

Techie,

We do have to be cautious about who receives a driver’s license because all of our lives are at stake when we are sharing the same road.

I don’t think my neighbor will be able to drive his truck much longer. He seems to be losing some cognitive function.

I would not mind being tested annually for a driving test.

We go for our doctor appointments twice a year as a way to stay on track. I feel the same way about testing for a driver’s license.

NHWM, I know you say now you wouldn't mind taking an annual test when you reach a certain age. I ask you to consider the stress you put an elder under to take a "test" annually with so much riding on the result. If you live in a rural area where driving is truly required to live unless you have someone assisting you, your ability to get groceries, go to the doctor, pick up medications, possibly attend church and take care of your spouse are on the line. You may be frazzled when you arrive for testing because you have been required to drive through major roads and traffic to get there at a time not neccesarily of your chosing. Many older people take some form of diuretic and "manage" their out and about time around their medication. Did you know Nazis once kept older adults in an interrogation room without any bathroom breaks until they identified 2 jewish families?

My older brother was a good student who graduated summma cum laude, yet had difficulty with make or break tests. He needed to past a certification test to get a job he wanted. He studied for the test and we were are surprised he failed, only correctly answering 68% of the questions. He got another job (which he came to view as better), didn't even pick up the study guide and passed the certification test with a 97% six months later. He just didn't "test" well under pressure. He's 70 now, with no cognitive or physical problems at all. I ask myself if he would have problems on an annual driving test?

A few years back we had a head-on collision involving a couple in their 80s and a couple of teenagers on a road in front of a grocery store. Everyone jumped to the conclusion that the 86 year driver MUST have caused the wreak. The highway patrol investigation showed the teenagers had run into the elders car at more than 70 miles an hour and crossed into the wrong lane. The elder's car was estimated to be traveling about 30 in the rightmost lane (a correct lane for their direction of travel) - they just had the bad luck to buy their groceries at 10:00am on a Wednesday when the kids wanted to pick up some supplies for the lakeside picnic they planned to attend.

The last few months I have had the privilege of supervising two young men during their learning permit driving periods. We have mostly driven to school and school events - with all the "crazy" driving you might expect. I can firmly state I do not expect my boys to be the instigator in any crazy accidents. They are both too "responsible", not wanting to dent their autos or hurt any of their passengers. They even called me one night to come pick them (and their girlfriends) up after a dance when some fog rolled in.

And yet, those boys are the ones (statistically) at the most risk ever time they get behind the wheel. They are the ones I worry about. Not myself or my older brother or my nephews who often drive when (in my opinion) they are too tired. I am more careful driving around the high school, as I used to be when I lived close to a college. Maybe it's a rural thing, but I'm more afraid of younger drivers who are careless or stoned than the older ones I mostly see on sunny days.