An issue last month started when my 3 sisters found out my Mom wanted to give me her social security check to live with me. She has another check that comes in from a pension. The amount to live at my home was not discussed before she moved in, any amount she wanted to pay would have been fine. She has been with me now for a year and 1/2. When she offered it, I told her she did not have to give me that much but she insisted and said she wanted to pay her way. Also every time she needed something, I could just get it for her rather then her always giving me money to get it. She insisted and since this battle has started, I always ask her if she knows where her money is going. I do not want to take advantage of my Mom, but since she has moved in my husband was laid off. I have gotten use to that monthly income and especially need it now with my husband out of work. I make her breakfast, lunch, dinner, wash all clothes do all the cleaning, take her to the doctors, make the appointments, check issues with her insurance company and try to get home from work as quickly as possible because she always asks what time I will be home. I feel badly what this has done with my family. In the past I would always ask my sisters to come up and spend time with my Mom so I could run some errand. I was lucky if they came up once a month. I realize they are busy, but I am also. They make me feel like I am stealing from my Mom. My Mom has done wonderful things for all of us at different times in our lives, but they say that was the past. For instance she held an interest free $50,000, 15 year loan for my sister who does not make a large salary, but it was satisfied after my stepdad passed away 4 years later. I was glad my Mom was able to do this for my sister. But this is the sister that is the nasty's to me and insist I should have declined the money. I would just like some feed back from someone. I really don't feel as though I did anything wrong. They are just recently saying she can't make decisions on her own, she made this decision 1 1/2 years ago. One sister recently borrowered $2,000. from my Mom to pay her taxes, but it appears she was able to make a decision about that. She mailed another $300. for her dogs surgery just recently and my sister felt she was able to make a decision about that. Need understanding and feed back. Thanks
I don't think you need help understanding your sibling's postion. That is pretty clear. Any money she "gives" to you is money that won't be available to divide upon her death. They want more money. What part of that is hard to understand?
Even if she needs in the future to apply for Medicaid, I wouldn't worry about the lookback period. She is expected to use her SS for living expenses. She is. She has even found a way to do it cheaper than most long term care facilities. Do you think anyone is going to ask her why she didn't find some place free to live?
Maybe it would help the family peace to have a legal contract drawn up, specifying what she is paying you and what you are giving her in return.