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My sister (with whom our mom lives) called me while Mom was with me this weekend and asked if I could keep her an extra day. Mom was sitting nearby and I said, jokingly, "Sure, unless she gets crabby." My sister laughed. She pointed out, correctly, "She would have to take lessons to learn how to be crabby!"

Mom is 93 and has moderate dementia and severe arthritis pain. I'm not saying that none of her behaviors are aggravating or that it can't ever be stressful taking care of her, but she has the same basic personality she has always had. I think it is probably too late for crabby lessons!

We hear so much about exceedingly nasty elders on this site. That is perfectly appropriate -- those caregivers need to vent and sometimes need suggestions. I just want to balance the record a little bit. Some elders, even with dementia, are real sweethearts.

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Jeanne, you are so blessed. I have to say my MIL is always sweet to me and my daughter, but her kids get chewed out at every visit. I don't cut her any slack and I don't tell her any lies. I stole her firstborn son, that was enough.
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I realized this was how your mother is, Jeanne, from the few comments you mentioned in the past. When father had his stroke 2 years ago, the nurse told us that when a person suffers from a stroke, they come out of it either worse in their current personality or the opposite. We all were hoping he came out the opposite. Nope, worse. Oh well.... I'm like Jessie, jealous of you all. =)
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My mom is very appreciative of what I do for her, so I share your good fortune. I wish I could share her appreciation with some of the folks on here who get none for all of the work that they do.
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my mother was incredibly sweet as she got more and more ill with dementia. she didnt like or trust the hospice people but she was sure nice to me.
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If we switched, Jessie, your mother would be in a care center within the month -- sooner if there were an immediate opening. :) Then you and I could both go visit her.
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Grr. So jealous. Want to switch, Jeanne? :P
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I guess her daughter does not know how to be crabby either! Give Mom a hug.
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