My dad has a thermometer outside the window overlooking a patio where he sits all day. He checks temp frequently. It’s a habit. Today it was moved. My mom fixed it twice. We were gone all day.
This evening it was moved again after we grilled chicken on patio. While eating inside my Dad frantically demanded my mom look at the thermometer because it was moved again.
He immediately went berserk and accused my partner of deliberately messing with it.
He became verbally abusive and aggressively yelling. Called us both names and finally walked away.
We are lucid adults and I can’t imagine deliberately trying to aggravate them. But they are convinced and there is no convincing them otherwise.
Later when I left my room to go to the kitchen my mom tried to convince me that my partner is a legitimate suspect. I can say that they do not know him at all as they have never made an attempt to do so. They have treated every bf and husband throughout my life as if they were suspected of wrong doing.
My present partner is retired as am I. We mind our business, travel some. Ride motorcycles and play the better part of every day trying to enjoy it.
I tend to my folks needs if necessary but they are mobile ride ubers and go shopping frequently. They are fairly independent.
I will be relieved when/if they go to my brother’s.
There's a tread about narcissistic parents. I think you might find it useful reading what others deal with and how they handle their situations.
Here's the link to it.
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/caregiving-for-a-narcissistic-mother-do-we-do-it-out-of-love-or-out-of-years-of-guilt-and-programmin-463032.htm?orderby=recent&page=1�