I have the feeling dads money is being spent on things not for him but for the betterment of the power of attorney. what can i do? i want dad to be taken care of, but if all his money has been spent, i can't afford to finance a nursing home and am unable to have him live with me.
Its a sad fact that when bills aren't paid, the level of care goes down to maintenance - just enough to keep their licenses.
Talk to the DON - I can empathize how tired you are, and will continue to be for a while. Weary is a good name for it. Take care, but don't give in. If you want to pass the care batton to someone try the Public Guardian.
Carol
Do not let them intimidate you, nursing homes must comply with strict regulations on this subject - this is not the first time they have run across this problem. Let them know that you expect them to behave less like creditors chasing payment and more like licensed Administrators. Smile and remain calm. It will work out.
If you feel there's deceit going on that needs to be addressed, that is a different story. The Nursing Home cannot MAKE you get Guardianship, any more than MAKE your responsible for his debt. His estate would pay for his debt. They may be bullying you. But, if someone is misusing your father's funds, they are committing fraud, which is a crime. In that case, you need legal assistance. Get the facts, then act.
If the worst case scenario has occurred, and Dad's assets have been depleted, ez is right: a private facility could send him packing. Not all take public assistance. But that doesn't necessarily mean you have to take Dad into your home. There are other alternatives, and help for both of you.
Sounds like you have two priorities: to make sure your Dad's needs are cared for, then his finances. Don't panic. Talk to a Social Worker at your Dad's facility, or through some place like the Commission on Aging, who can guide you through the process. There are free legal services available for elders if he cannot afford it. If you do need legal help, find one who will use your father's assets, and not expect you to pay, which could be very expensive. Ask God for wisdom and discernment, because you can't always believe everything you read of hear.
Carol gave some good advice, I think. Can you get an accounting of how the person who is the present POA is spending your father's money? I would think every PENNY should be accounted for. Do you know what bills the nursing home says aren't being paid? Has the nursing home provided proof that the bills haven't been paid?Can the person who has the POA prove the bills have been paid? Does your father have an attorney? If so, be sure that that attorney isn't in cahoots with the POA person and that they BOTH aren't enjoying spending your father's money!!!!(I imagine this happens.) If YOU trust your father's attorney, and know that he/she would have the best interests of your father at heart, this attorney might be one you could go to. A friend of ours whose brother had POA for their mother went through years of trouble with the brother so I hope you have better luck and can get to the bottom of the matter quickly. You have a right to be very concerned about this - it already is affecting you and will affect you more if your dad's money is being misspent and he becomes penniless. All the very best
Carol