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I've lost 3 posts so far on my phone here so writing in parts.

My staff doc is a cancer survivor who went thru chemo, so she was empathetic to my situation. They can't release me till I'm on my feet.

Staffhere has been great in every way, going above and beyond. TG I came here instead of the Er that tried to give me the bums rush in Jan.
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Thanks so much for your update. I’m glad you’re getting some help, and that the zaps, at least, have stopped.

Hospital stays are hard, no matter what the circumstance. I’m sorry that you have to be there!

I’m praying that they treat you well, and that they can figure out all that’s going on.
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OK, Lea, sounds like they are taking good care of you. Sounds like they are calling in all the big guns. Very thankful for that. And for your trying so hard to reach out to let us know what is happening. I know many are like me, keeping the computer up longer in the day, coming back in over and over and scrolling down to your thread to see if there is word. So glad to know you are getting the best of care, and that they seem to know what is going on/what needs addressing. I am turning off for the night, and will rest easy knowing you are in good care. Hearts with you. You know that. Thank you, thank you for updating us.
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Lealonnie, I hope you have a good night. Better take off your socks - I hear that the Pope does a really good job washing feet, and I wouldn’t want you to miss out.,…. 😀
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So glad they admitted you, Lea. Thinking hard about you tonight. (((Hugs))).
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(((((Lea))))) Of course you have fear. God made us human, not saints. Because you love God, you have the promise of all things working together for good. We don't know God's plan, but we can trust it, and that's comforting. But - anything unknown can cause doubt and fear.

One day at a time, sis. You're doing it. Walk the path. I'm checking in nearly every day to see how you are. You have a lot of support here so lean on it whenever you need to. 🌼💛
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THANK YOU DAUGHTER! And Ali too!

Fawby..... omg I'm laughing here. But I'm not wearing socks LOL

Bandy, there are tons of reasons a person can develop bppv not just one! Neuropathy is having no feeling in your feet combined w bad hearing and bad eyesight. A loss of 3 senses is a recipe for bppv of ever there was one bc you don't know where you exist in space

Dd came to visit... she lives 5 minutes away.

Thanks everyone for the love. I'll stay in touch
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Lea,

I’m glad that your DD was able to visit with you. She’s a nurse, right?
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Lea: As you may have guessed by now, I'm not one to write lengthy discourses, taking into account the receiver. I wish you some amount of peace in this unfortunate journey. Virtual hugs sent.
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Wow, chick, you have been through it! I am just now checking in after a few days off from having a surgery, and am praying that they can get everything rebalanced so you can get some peace.

I have very unchristian thoughts when people act like faith is a magic pill that wards off all fear or sadness… but only if you have enough of it.

I know the idea is to build people up, but it is incredibly one-dimensional and flattens God out. Why do people want to make him so small? He is not just a glorified human, knows our hearts inside and out, and doesn’t trivialize who he has made us to be.

I have 2 favorite verses… one is “be still and know that I am God.” The other is from James… “Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.”

Belief, by nature, isn’t fact. If God is the creator of all things, he is already well aware that we struggle with doubt and fear and is ok with that.

Take heart, my friend, we are with you.
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What hope said.
God knew we would have anxiety and cares. That's why He said to cast them om Him. And I do - again and again and again.
“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 is my nightly prayer - many times repeated.
"...He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." - Deuteronomy 31:6-8 \. Again He knew we would fear and be dismayed. Sometimes it is very hard/impossible not to be.
"I am the LORD that healeth thee." Exodus 15:26 -
Praying blessings upon you, lea, and miracles.
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Praying specifically about the “strokes” this morning, here in Fl.
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Lealonnie, you are such an inspiration to so many of us on here, and we are all hoping and praying for the best possible outcome whatever that may be.
It's amazing to me to see how even in your darkest struggles that God is still using you in a mighty way. That is a sign of a true warrior.
Please know that you are loved by so many of us.
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Praying with all my heart and soul for you today! More hugs!
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Good morning, Lea woman. What color jello are they serving this a.m.? Thinking of you. Al
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It took till 930 last night to get a room and the brain MRI w contrast! I'm nervous to hear those results and hope beyond hope the strokes WERE there in my Jan MRI just not mentioned. So just in case of more bad news to come, I hurried up and ordered a breakfast burrito w fruit cup and what tastes like TAB to me. Pure saccharine w cola flavor. When I drank it it came in a pull top can 🤣

Had to get oxygen cannula last night bc my saturation stats fell to the mid 80s 😑. Feeling like I'll be coming home w permanent orders for night oxygen. Set up w heart monitor looking for afib which would warrant blood thinners. O/w Plavix and something else is the protocol for stroke aftercare/prevention. 10 shots of Lovonox injections in the belly is ongoing as a blood thinner for being bedbound. They dont hurt much at all.
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Bandy he. There is very little "One thing causes a certain symptom like vertigo for anyone. Even migraines are known to bring it on.

Alva, no jello for me, I'm more of a breakfast burrito type myself. This hospital has good and modern food which is unusual, we all know YOU are the #1 advice woman/guru here, not me. Age (lol) and a lifetime career of nursing gives you the leading edge on me 😂😁🤣 with an emphasis on the age factor. Tee hee.
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Emphasis on age I will take. Hard won, and paying for it with here-a-pain, there-a-pain every single day.
I am too wordy to get any votes on the site. I always envy your cut-through-it-quick-Dr. Laura-style. Whenever I have to write some semi-legal thing I take it to N. and he says "cut it back" and I do so, and return with it and he says "cut it down" and I do so, and so on for about 3 tries. When I saw the film A River Runs Through It I was so taken that the Dad, who had an author-to-be son, and kept saying to him "make it shorter and bring it back" over and over again when he was in school. I THINK that was the film, anyway, but--you know--the AGE thing?
I am a breakfast burrito kid, myself of leftover Hunan Chinese or Thai. I am glad the food is good. I so looked forward to it when hospitalized, as it was about all that cut up the day.
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Alva,

That is one of my all time favorite movies! You have excellent taste in films. Every movie that you have posted about I love!

Lea,

Breakfast burritos are great! So much better than Jello! LOL 😆

I love your red hair! So pretty. Cute style too!
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Just read you are now in the hospital. Praying all goes well. Here is a ((HUG)) and my "have a blessed day". 💞
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Oh Lea, what a journey you are on! Praying for grace and strength.
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‘Scuse me, but you and Alva are so stinkin’ funny, with your back and forth!

Sorry about those shots!

And, I’m praying right now, for the miracle of a restful night in that hospital! 😘
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CX,
I think the only thing that got me through the confusion and worry of my breast cancer all those 35+ years ago was laughter. I had the most IRREVERANT friends. When I went in for my biopsy under the arm my best girlfriend, who worked with me, said "OK I will drive to work so I can bring you home in the car after you wake up" and my friend Roger said "Oh, no, I am going to drive so I can bring her back" and N. was there, my partner, and said "Don't be silly; I will be there all day with my car, and she's coming home with me". At that point Roger shrugged and said "OK, we will ALL drive, we will ALL bring her back. With the lights on. And driving slow". He meant, of course, the funeral cortege. We laughed until we cried.
What I found when I was sick is that the reality of it was so different than the fears I had had as I read my patient's charts for so many decades. You are just so busy. And you can't be afraid 24/7. Between being afraid and not being afraid, real life keeps happening. You can't BLOCK the fear or it hunts you. But you can't stay afraid, either. Life just won't let you. There's still all the beauty and all the angst. All the love and some not-love, too.
And constipation, as well!
I just saw my friend out at the end of last year. She KNEW she was going, had opted for no treatment; but she was on Etsy shopping for Christmas stuff as the Hospice folk came and went! And we laughed. We had so much laughter.
I am such a somber, thoughtful, and mirthless creature. I NEED fun in my life and I sure love those who have brought it to me.
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So much for the breakfast burritos here in Hospital Hell. The tortilla required a chainsaw to cut thru it, the fruit cup shot across the room bc the Tray Tables Made By Sadists cannot be operated by one person so it was crushing my legs. Then in came the parade of doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists (bc they don't carry my inhaler and have chosen to nebulize me which is causing ISSUES HELLO. When I complained, the doc sent the SAME JAMOKE back in w another neb! I sent him off and Chuck brought my disc from home. And the social worker and hospitalist who insisted strokes come from CANCER and not treatments. I asked him if he thought I should hold up a laughing face on a stick for all to enjoy my special personality, or just talk turkey and cut the crap? I keep a lid on my new York attitude but felt it necessary to bring on Lea Light twice today. Why?

I was left to wait 38 minutes to go pee. Nobody came to get me off so Chuck did. I'm having a horrendous day with fevers, brain zaps and vertigo today. The super rude CNA blew my IV with a TON of saline and hmm, since I have SMALL VEINS they just don't know who can put in a new one. Sounds like maybe Mr Kimball or the pet pig Arnold from Green Acres? My leg pumps pissed out at 730 am and I've been asking for new ones, with no luck at 6pm. Just a few honorable mentions. But the piece de resistance was the doctor saying no problem for 2 days to my needed Omaprezole and come to find THE GREEN ACRES PHARMACY DOESN'T CARRY IT! The nurse told Chuck to GO BUY HIS OWN AT CVS! THAT WAS the last straw. Chuck went to find the charge nurse who I unleashed Lea Light on. SHE said he never shouldve never been told to go to CVS! Within 15 min the leg pumps were back on and shed have a talk w the staff.

Good news is when the 3 docs came in and one said cancer causes strokes, not treatment, I nicely ask them to PLEASE PULL UP AND COMPARE ALL MY BRAIN MRIs to see WHEN these strokes first appeared in history. They obliged.

THE ANSWER IS.......2018! I almost cried I was so relieved! Although why tell me NOW for the first time EVER about 5yr old plus strokes????
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I hate to say give your RT a break,, because I am one.. LOL But even at my top rated hospital sometimes we can;t give you what you take at home because,,, drum roll here,, we don't have it!! I am always amazed at what we can;t give because of this! You do have the right to use your own meds,, if they give you push back just tell them to roll with it! They want to give you what they have so they can bill you for it. I have no idea why we don;t have all the drugs,, but thank the insurance companys for this ( sarcasm here) . I am also amazed by how many people we put on nebs who do not take them at home,, why am I doing this?? I think they just see you are on something at home and try to substitute something!
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Pt2. Nobody feels comfy putting a new IV in my arm! Hot diggedy dog we're on a roll tonight! 2 shifts nobody comfy placing an IV???

Ay yi yi 🙄

Then I told them 2x I have a fever. Finally the CNA begrudging took my temp and said "it's 37.5" and was walking out. I said what's that in Fahrenheit which is not a ridiculous question. Oh she didnt know! I asked her to PLEASE find out and she barked back 99.5. Meanwhile my face is beet red and my back skin was on fire. My norm is 97.5. Holy cow, now they're trying to force Tylenol on me insisting ibuprofen is not in the MARS!

Chuck was purple when he left here.

But the good news prevails.
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Lea,

Geeeez, sounds incredibly frustrating! I hope that you will start to feel better soon.
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After 1 hr, fever still the same. I have pain in left ear and right side now, so CNA said "well let's keep our fingers crossed, eh". Who says that in the hospital.

Im done. Please God don't kill me w incompetence here.

No idea when I'm going home, not till I cam walk,...and the right antibiotic is given to me IF they can find someone who can put an IV in me.

😁

Nope, can't make this chit up! I'm sue I'm The Bad Patient now for trying to advocate for myself. Tough titties. I'm here to get well and not be killed in the care or lack of being provided. I did rein myself in though bc I wanted to tell the nurse to set a timer next time she has to use the bathroom for 40 min and just hold it in for that time. What if I'd had to poop? Shudder
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Sorry Pam, meds aside, this is ridiculous. My DD is an RN too, so I'm not unsympathetic to you guys. Just try being a PATIENT sometime, in pain, being told gibberish as though it were God's truth, and learn from the other side of the coin the reality. Not ONE DOC or nurse here ever heard of brain zaps yet they are a common occurrence, esp after trying to stop an SSRI like Cymbalta. Google and Reddit are both loaded w info on the subject. The 20 something's should be aware of those 2 sites? How do you help someone not knowing what their symptoms mean???

J/S
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I do understand, and hope things improve.
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