My mother has a friend who is renting a room in her house. My mother has slipped and fallen twice in the bathroom. This woman is sick like my mom, and is no help to her. We need her to move out to make room for a professional care giver who can be attentive of her at night as well as during the day. My mother refuses, to the point this has caused a serious disagreement between my mother and my sister and me. My sister sides with my mother, claiming she has other problems and cannot add another one. Legally what are my options. I just cannot sit by and accept the possibility of my mother getting hurt again. Please, can anyone assist me with this?
With your mother not having dementia or Alzheimer's or forms of either disease (I'm assuming), there comes a point you have to respect her wishes if competent to a point of protecting her from a distance. Use her friend as an advocate if you have to.
Sometimes friendly behavior towards others can invoke information that you are seeking. I'm not sure to what extent you are involved in your mother's care, but the two falls I'm assuming she was okay afterwards?
I only say that because I fall and it does not mean that I need a caregiver. It may be the same for your mother. I also have a couple that has been "close" friends with my parents for close to 50 years. I have come to discover through some accidental incidences that they were harmful to my parents.
I was able to take action as my parent's POA and prevent further action on this couple's part from interfering in my parent's life. My mother cannot rationally reason about her "friends" and so I can do my part on the outside as well. I think you have to be objective as to what is going on. Document facts you are aware of, times, and other instances you seem to be concerned about. This you can use later on if necessary.
Also check with your state laws. Do your homework. We can all speak about our situations, but the reality is, you need to obtain the facts for yourself. You need to weigh what legal options you are willing to do and then follow through with them.
In the meantime, keep loving on your mother and thank God she can still be somewhat independent.
You might want to consider that both your mom & her tenant participate in an evaluation for home safety and be encouraged to have an honest discussion about their needs and fears. Unless your mom is deemed incompetant and your are awarded conservatorship you cannot enforce anything with a "POA". Being old does not automatically infantilize a person and remove their rights or opinions. It sounds as if the tenant is also a friend (correct me if I'm wrong) so you must consider what your mom is thinking - where would the friend go to live if she did not rent from your mom? How close are they and much does the friend contribute to rent? Nothing is ever simple so be prepared to listen.
Only a home and physical assessment can give your the facts - it may be that hiring a day worker that they both pay for and installing safety precautions may be all it takes, or you may be right and a live-in is required. John's suggestions are good - a life alert can help & forcing issues can destroy relationships you may prefer to cherish.
Nothing is ever easy - I hope another viewpoint helps you weigh your options as you make your decisions.