Follow
Share

I'm not even sure where to begin ... My wife had a large brain Meningioma removed 3 months ago. 7 cm by 5 cm huge. She's too young for medi-care and doesn't meet the "early" acceptance. Since then, she is bed-ridden. Can only sit on the side of the bed for 10 minutes max. Can't stand and wears a diaper. She weighed over 300 lbs before surgery, but drove, walked, etc. great.
I've moved her into assisted living because insurance stopped paying for the skilled nursing facility. She only eats a max of 1 cup of fruit a day, and often throws that up. She is on 2 anti-nausea meds, 1 appetite stimulant. We've even tried Mariana gummies. Nothing is helping. After a couple of bites says she is full. She's lost at least 50 lbs in the 3 months, possibly more...
She has had 2 UTI's and went to the hospital, and back out. She fell one night getting out of bed, thinking she could walk to the bathroom. She can't even get out of bed herself - we were all amazed and scared she fell. Now her hospital bed has side rails.
Most of the time her memory is good, but (especially when tired), she gets confused and "remembers things that didn't happen". For example, she was convinced she was walking around the day before. She thought a friend dropped off her grandmother wanting my wife to drive her to church, etc. She either lies about what she has eaten, or just doesn't remember it correctly...
I feel so helpless and don't know what to do. I encourage her all the time to try to do leg exercises, eat a little bit, etc. but I get no where, she just gets mad and tells me to leave. I just don't know how much longer she can go on like this. I found this site today trying to figure out how long she can live on very little food...
I really want her to get better so she can come home. But I find myself wondering if she will... She won't watch TV, doesn't want the radio on, sleeps most of the day. She talks like she is ready to come home and doesn't understand why she can't. (I've had 2 back surgeries and just can't take care of her myself.) I've looked into "home care" and it is way more expensive then the assisted living (which is also expensive).
Most of this site seems to be about "parents" who are 80 to 90 years old. My wife and I are 64. I'm not even sure what I hope to get out of this site and this message...

PapaUke:
Sorry, but must apologize for my earlier post to you. In my own head, when you said brain tumor I went to worst case "glioblastoma" and its usually dire consequences. You are dealing with "meningioma" which, as Lealonnie points out, is a whole different thing. Most are benign despite the problems they can cause merely by being in the brain and causing problems merely by presence.
Has doctor told you if benign or maliginant?
Has he given you any idea of progression, what he could remove and what not?
Has he given you an idea of recovery and prognosis and is wife making progress in any therapies?
And is she on SSDI or other programs that may be important to her/ for her.
Others are correct below as well in that it would be a good idea for you to see an attorney to protect your own 1/2 assets in your marriage for your own future.
There must be so much on your mind now.
I wish you the very best.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

Is she not getting therapy of somekind. I am really surprised an AL will care for her.

You may want to contact an elder lawyer to have your assets split to protect you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

I don't know what her doctors have to say but, I, personally, believe that her body is healing. Having brain surgery is a BIG deal and our bodies sleep to heal. Thankfully she has body reserves so she doesn't need to eat much to have the energy to heal. If you are worried, perhaps a good gummy multi vitamin and a gummy probiotic everyday, it can do nothing but help.

Since obesity is linked to this cancer it is no surprise that her body isn't hungry. Our bodies know better than we do what they need.

Give her some time, she might be right where she will remain or she might improve, if she is content, Praise The Lord and give this some time.

I have to say that doctors are notorious for giving unrealistic time frames for getting better. 3 months is not all that long for a brain surgery due to a tumor, 50lbs in 3 months is not drastic and sleep is what our bodies do to heal. Sounds about right in my experience.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
Report

I am so sorry to read all this. What has her doctor told you? Is her current condition in line with their expectations and what kind of improvement do they indicate might be possible?

I had never heard of meningioma but looked it up on Pub Med and it said the majority are benign with a good 5-year survival rate. The malignant ones are much more severe.

Would she qualify for disability payments?

Best wishes to you.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Suzy23
Report

You don't say whether your wife's meningioma was malignant or benign, as 90% of these tumors are benign. What is the prognosis according to the surgeon?

My cousin had a cancerous meningioma while my father had a benign one that could not be removed due to his age. It did grow and eventually took his life at 91. My cousin lived with brain cancer, after surgery, for 9 years but his abilities were limited. The recovery period for this type of surgery can be very long and grueling.

I'm very sorry youre both going thru such a difficult situation. Sending prayers that your dear wife enjoys a full recovery.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report
AlvaDeer Mar 25, 2025
You are right. I was assuming the meningioma to be malignant given post, and it well may not be. Can surely be problematic in causing deficits, and with the weight being also a problem, hubby would have a hard time handling things were she home I think.
I am curious what doctors have told him.
(0)
Report
Maybe contact her surgeon's office and ask about support groups. I wish you success in getting guidance, answers and support.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

Is your wife on SSDI?

Please discuss with your MD the realities of meningiomas. I am so very sorry for all you are going through. Please ask MD about when pallitative care or hospice are realistically acceptable.
I don't know as you don't say, what current treatments your wife is taking. Dependent on staging (is she stage I, II, III or IV?) they may be somewhat helpful or not. But this isn't a cancer that many long survive.
It is crucial now that you both research the disease and speak HONESTLY with her doctors, as well as with you wife about what she would want ongoing in care.

I am so dreadfully sorry.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report
AlvaDeer Mar 25, 2025
To admins:
Reguesting removal of my response above.
I mistakenly "saw" glioblastoma in my head, when this is actually a meningioma, usually BENIGN. So my information will be irrelevant and misleading.
Thanks.
(0)
Report
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter