I care for a friend name Nancy that has a boyfriend for the last year. She goes to his house several times in the evening. I tell her not to go it's over and that there's a restraining order against you. She continues to ask why and precedes anyway. The police have been involved and several situations with her and him. He's currently been out of town for 3 months to avoid contact with her. Recently she's been stealing things from his yard on a regular basis and bring them home. How can I help her change this behavior?
As others have observed, efforts so far haven't been successful; that's an indication that there are more issues at play than you, and perhaps Nancy, can resolve. At this point it may take a higher intervention by the police to get her the help she needs.
BTW, never, ever use someone's real name on a public forum.
sent for a mental evaluation and hopefully placed in memory care.
This sounds like the progression of Nancy's dementia and it will only get worse so don't try and cover up, there is time for change. nothing to feel guilty about, her mind is broken and she can't control her behavior or listen to reason any longer.
Does Nancy have family? Anyone have guardianship or POA? This is more than you, her dear and loving friend, can handle. Get some help for her and yourself. (((Hugs)))
I second CDN's question - do you think there is an underlying mental illness behind this?
I know you are only trying to help your friend and you don't want to see her get into trouble.
Sometimes I think there is only so much we can do as friends no matter how good our intentions are.
If the police are already involved there might not be much you can do. I don't know if other friends or family have also tried to talk to her. Do you think she has an undiagnosed medical or mental illness that is causing her to become obsessed with him. Maybe a social worker can talk to her as well.