My dad just had a minor heart event and was in the hospital for 3 days getting tests. He is in IL, I am in NYC. I am his POA and only relative in the US, and at his wish have been managing at home care for him for 2.5 years since his wife died. He is back home and I have a team of carers in place to help him, plus a tenant at his home who helps him and keeps an eye on him.
Still, as his daughter, I am very worried about him. If this wasn't a pandemic I'd have gotten on the first plane once he was in the hospital. Since I'm in NY, however, I am worried about being a carrier of the virus and coming to see him, and am also worried about driving across the country right now, and that my health insurance is only good for NY, as I am prone to respiratory illness.
If I knew he would be ok then I definitely would not go right now because of all these risks, but I am worried if he is not ok and I don't go what if I don't get to see him? So that is my conundrum. And now, Trump says they may not let New Yorkers out to travel soon.
This is all tough to decide. Would love your thoughts!
I think you need to look at this from a different standpoint than “what if I never see him again?” Which is actually, excuse my bluntness, a pretty selfish way to view your dilemma. Traveling out of NYC you are risking not only his life but the health of his caregivers and housemate if you’re a carrier with no symptoms yet.
I suggest you FaceTime him and chat and you will see him. If either of you don’t have that capability use the money you would have spent traveling to get him and you the capability.
For you to put so many people at risk is beyond tragic and will soon be illegal. Think hard about this. If it were me I don’t think I could live with myself if caused the illness or death of innocent people. Please take the steps necessary to “see your dad” remotely. And then you’ll know you did the right thing.
with love and light
Sabrina
This goes against instinct, I know. Of course it does. When anyone we care about is in trouble our first thought is to rush to be with him. But you would be rushing from an area with an alarming number of cases to an area with comparatively few cases. Don't do it.
This behavior is why President Trump is talking about shutting New York down. Poor man can't win no matter what he does. If he's optimistic he's a jerk, if he gets tough he's a jerk. It behooves all of us to pray that he does a good job. This virus by the way, isn't his fault.
President Trump cannot quarantine the New York city area without the cooperation of the state governments, which he will not get. He just floats these various suggestions (Isolate New York. Back to work by Easter) without any real plan on how to execute the suggestions or data supporting them as useful in containing the virus.
The more people cooperate with the social distancing the faster this will pass. Please visit your dad via Facetime or Skype. Stay home.
If you've already made up your mind to take this trip, wishing you the best of luck. If you haven't and are really looking for advice, mine is to stay home and stay safe yourself right now. Your father has a 'team of carers in place to help him' etc, and you can speak with him over the phone daily, if you'd like. I am unable to see my mother who lives in Memory Care 4 miles down the road for the past few weeks and that's fine with me. I know she's well cared for, and we speak daily.
Utilize whatever other communication tools are available; that's what many of us are doing.