Mild dementia, short term memory loss. She says that she is OK to fly, I agreed to accompany her back. We've lined up an AL close to us. I'm trying to be very organized about this and wondering what all I'll need to have in place. We've been managing her bank account, etc., already. My biggest concern is traveling all day. One hour drive to the airport in NC then one hour drive to home on the MI end. One stop on the flight. Total travel time with driving, flight and layover would be more than 9 hours.
I think the transport company is the way to go.
Let us know how it goes.
PS. I think flying is hard on able bodied people.
I hope you continue to contribute to this forum. Sharing your experience on a State -2- State move will be quite valuable to others.
I don’t understand why these elders wait until they are near or at 90 to “ move back “. It’s too late . An unfair burden to put on the adult children .
Now my mother in law ( divorced ) lives in NY still , 2 states away from us is nearing 90 , signs of dementia , has a lot of mobility problems and falls and should be in assisted living . She has expressed maybe moving near us in “ a couple of years “ . BTW she may have 2 years left to live at most , due to her CLL in advanced stage. My husband says he will not move her near us . She will be miserable just like his Dad was if we moved her to a state she never lived in before . We are trying to get her to agree to assisted living where she is , although she doesn’t think she needs assisted living . She’s in fact overdue for needing AL .
Is there any way to get a direct flight? If so that would make the trip less complicated.
Do expect a melt down.
If you ask for medication to keep her calm just know it may make her more of a fall risk.
If possible driving might actually be easier. 12 to 13 hour drive 2 drivers could do it with no stops other than rest stops. That is not much longer than what you calculate your trip to be.
Be prepared for the unexpected. It might be a good idea to up your mom's anxiety meds for the trip, if she takes them. If she doesn't, ask her doctor if it would be appropriate.
One thing as an RN I can caution you on is that you need to have her get up frequently on flight just to get movement and circulation to legs. Very important to prevent blood clots when flying.
It sounds as though you are getting ducks in a row. You have chosen her ALF already; I am hoping she is self pay because she needs now to establish residency in case she should ever need Medicaid in future. That can be done at local DMV usually with senior ID card, and some have voter registration also. Keep mail when she receives it to establish residency and copies of her change of address notifications to USPS.
Hope you get a lot of tips here.
Not all insurance crosses state lines. If she has actual Medicare with a supplemental she should be fine, part D might not travel and if they do she may be paying more.
If she has a Medicare Advantage plan you need to find out if it travels, some are only for emergency care (their idea of what that means, not ours) outside of her county.
Another thing, doctors, does the AL have an in house doctor or will you be needing to find one?
I live in a place that you can not find a PCP because of the shortage, is your area the same?
Oh, if she has any dementia, change can and often does cause it to become worse and she may never recover from the step down. Just a heads up.
Best of luck with the move.
I wouldn’t want to do this alone just you and Mom .
Keep her medications in your purse rather than packing them, in case the luggage is lost or your flights get delayed. If she uses Depends, have extras in your purse or carry-on for the same reason.
Can you somehow make it a direct flight? Even if that means driving to a different airport? Just concerned that if your first flight is late and you miss the connection, you'll be stuck for hours or even overnight in an airport which might be overwhelming for her and tiring for you. Or you might not be able to sit together if you have to be rebooked for the second flight.
If you do need to do the connection and miss it, or a flight is canceled, have the airline app on your phone so you can quickly rebook the flight yourself instead of waiting in line or on the phone for the airline to do it for you, while the people ahead of you get the available open seats.