My 97 year old grandmother moved in with my family over a year ago. She is still in good health but is very selfish and wants to go out all the time, have cooked meals made for her every night and wants to do whatever she wants. She’s very messy and doesn’t clean up after herself, she lies right to our faces constantly, and does not listen whenever we tell her to do something. Anytime you confront her about her actions, she wants to argue and deny everything and says “I shouldn’t have moved in”. She’s causing many arguments between us and thinks she does no wrong. We are all going crazy. How do we deal with this?
There isn't much anyone can do with that. I bet Grandmother misses being around people of her own age group. Is there a senior center in your community? If there is, talk to the Director, sometimes the Director will say they need volunteers and your Grandmother would be perfect. That will give her something to look forward to.
Oh, has Grandmother had her hearing checked lately? Sometimes with hearing issues an elder will hear things wrong. And that can cause arguments.
She is quite right she shouldn't have moved in. What were her circumstances before and why did she move in?
Time for plan B.
My MIL had problems but denied it. When we moved her to assisted living it was amazing all of the things she hid. We yanked out so much garbage. Urine and blood stained undergarments thrown on the floor of her closet. Ripped up clothing all stuck all over the place. Bath mats that were so soaked in urine and feces they all got thrown away. I know it sounds like no one was helping her -- you wouldn't believe the times I offered to wash the bath mat, 'oh no I'll do it after you leave' we were told! We filled BAGS with long expired open packages of food, hidden ALL over the place.