I've lived with my grandma for most of my life and recently turned eighteen in February. She takes care of her self, handles her own bills, and even takes care of my uncle who has brain damage. I just stay there for a week and my boyfriends house for a week, mainly because she will miss me when I go to college. I recently got my permit and we were running late for a dentist appointment and had to drive on the interstate for the first time. When I got to the doctors office I did say "shes so stupid" because she ignored me for a broken phone for most of the car ride which put us in danger several times then preceded to give me directions some of which were bad and some of which were good. Someone reported me for "elderly abuse" because I called her stupid and an idiot and looked "generally angry". Of course I was my brother died in a car accident. I normally don't say anything bad to my grandma but I was stressed and her actions could have us killed. Anyways I'm eighteen, I'm no caregiver. I handle no finances, heck I even pay rent (aka the electricity bill). I clean my room and she cleans the rest of the house. Am I not allowed to say anything bad about my grandma anymore? Anyways, I'm not a care giver. The law says "a caregiver".
Even if an investigation is started I'm certain it will never go beyond the initial stages (unless there is more you are not telling us), I think most of us on this site could be locked away if they were throwing people in jail for a few nasty comments!
I know you only said those words due to stress and frustration. One incident of blurting out the wrong words won't get you into trouble for elder abuse. I know you love your grandmother and it was not intentional. Please apologize to your grandmother and do not let this stop you for continuing to see her and help her. We all do things we regret. We learn, we say sorry and we move on.
You were very rude. One can understand why. It's not okay, but it's not going to be put right either by being blown out of proportion. Apologise to your grandmother and let that be the end of it. And leave more time for car journeys - as people get older, everything just does take longer and that's just how it is. I sympathise with your stress.
The difference is, when it's a child or an elder, it's reportable, because they are vulnerable populations.
I take it that you have been contacted by APS.
When they come to the house to interview you and grandma, separately, I assume that you will be contrite and not make excuses for your behavior.
I assume that grandma will say that she's not being verbally abused by you.
APS will then close the case and you will have learned a valuable lesson about not letting your emotions rule your behavior. It's a life lesson, and one well learned at 18.
Yep we all say stupid stuff at times - nobody's perfect. Chalk it up to a learning experience.
But that doesn't make it right to call your grandmother "stupid", whether in public or not.
Lesson learned. Don't worry. You love your grandmother and will probably not react that way again.
Good luck in your senior year!
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