Hello all, I would greatly appreciate a bit of advice on an issue that may not quite be elder abuse, but is affecting the quality of life of someone important to me. Ellie is 90 years old. She has two daughters, who do not get along well with each other. For most of Ellie's elder life, her younger daughter saw to her care, and did so quite competently. But recently, stating issues regarding Ellie's finances, the elder daughter was awarded guardianship when the younger daughter could not attend a court hearing due to health issues. After the guardianship change, the elder daughter has thrown away furnishings Ellie had in her home all her life, disposed of her records, her clothing, her souveniers and knick-knacks, and her photo albums. She has prevented Ellie's family from entering the home by placing a latch on the door and instructing the live-in-aid not to open it for anyone. Ellie cannot call her family, especially her sister, whom she misses dearly. Ellie isn't being abused per-se, but her quality and joy of life seems greatly diminished. It seems as if the elder sister is just waiting for her mother to pass, in order to sell the home at great profit. Is there any recourse, since losing guardianship, that the younger sister can take to try to restore a bit of the joy that Ellie had before guardianship was lost? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
I would also say from experience and this is a good example, there are often logical reasons behind these things that only a caregiver/guardian etc... is aware of whether it makes others happy or not. It might seem cruel, but logically there are matters that have to be taken care of. I can say from my own personal experience taking care of my parents, I have learned a lot in what to expect from family, friends, hospital care, skilled nursing, nursing/assisted living, home health aides, as well as when to clear your home out of your precious stuff, when to scale down, etc.... If you don't do it yourself before you reach this point in life, it will be a mess. I can also say for a fact, it's a lot easier to deal with on your own as a child of a parent, when you have the parents permission, and that parent has decided it is time. And they may be what's going on here. In general, a good example of why we all should take care of our own business ahead of time.
But other than that, all the bills are taken care of. There are no outward signs of abuse except that the mother has been completely isolated from her family and friends.
The sad part is, that because of her memory issue, she wouldn't be able to tell anyone that she has been isolated.
Marcus50, that could be another way to make a case for younger sis, if older sis is not doing an accounting of mom's possessions and financial matters.
I'd forgotten about that because, in my case, it was for medical guardianship only. A Trust was acting as financial POA for my grandmother.
In most jurisdictions, someone can file to have the Guardian changed, if they believe the present Guardian is not doing their job properly.
If she's disposing of property, she should have to report it to the court. Most places require an annual accounting of property, assets, debts, distributions, etc.
Far too many people stick their nose into a difficult situation without knowing a thing about it. They guess. Or...they find it a great way to cause trouble for the family.
APS can interview outside of the home. But...to enter without permission is going to take convincing a judge there is probable cause.
We didn't stop having the rights guaranteed by the Constitution when we became caregivers.
To answer a few questions, yes, I forgot to mention that the mother has a bit of dementia. She isn't at the point where she forgets important people or tries to wander, but at times (mainly late in the evening) she may not realize where she is and forget that her parents have passed away.
The younger daughter did not have a health issue until the friction with the elder daughter. The stress has affected her. But the younger daughter lives next door and the elder daughter, the one with guardianship, lives miles away.
Ellie has been deemed incompetent. She will probably not be able to make a statement, as her short term memory is compromised.
The younger sister has many friends and neighbors and family that could possibly support her in trying to reinstate guardianship.
If younger sis can't make an important court date due to health problems, maybe the older sis is best guardian here. ?
Has Ellie been deemed incompetent by a court? I assume that's the case, since there is a guardianship. But if Ellie is aware that she is being denied visitation and phone calls with family, can she make a statement to that? Sometimes, elders will say things about this to their doctors. Do you have access to speak to her doctor, will the doctor say that they see evidence that Ellie's QOL has diminished? My grandmother's doctor wrote a letter for me when I petitioned to be her guardian.
I also video taped my grandmother on several occasions talking about such things, to give me evidence for me to petition to be her guardian instead of a cousin that never came to visit and made poor decisions affecting her QOL. She had full dementia but she was able to say, in response to my simple questions, that she loved and trusted me, that I had never abused her, that she wanted me to stay and care for her. It's good evidence, imo, and my attorney at the time thought so, too -- in combination with evidence that a caregiving agency was abusing their position and my guardian-cousin was absentee. She died before my guardianship court date came up, so I don't know what would have happened.
Hope some of these ideas are helpful.