My 90 year old mother came to live with me 5/22/17. She had her own room complete with cable TV, computer, frig., and microwave. I had the entire room remodeled complete with new carpeting, etc. for her before she moved in. Then came hurricane Irma. With the move to a shelter and then FEMA emergency housing she got more and more confused. Finally on Nov. 1 she decided that she was going back to Daytona (6-7 hr. drive) in a car registered to her, with a valid drivers license and insurance. I am her daughter and only living relative. Although I'm her health care surrogate, I have no legal power over her. While on her little vacation she fell and broke her shoulder. Now on Nov. 1 she walked under her own power, without a cane to her car. When we got home (I drove) she couldn't even walk into the house without major support, and then less than two feet from the bed decided that she couldn't go any further and did a controlled sit on the floor. She has spent 3 days in the hospital and is scheduled to go to a rehab center and then a SNF for 3 weeks before she comes back to my home (which still has a 50' Ficus tree going through it). I live alone. My mother has to be in the top ten of least appreciative people in the world. She has yet to say thank you for anything. Am I crazy thinking that I can care for her? I might add that I was a critical care RN for 25 years. I had always thought that I would never put my mother in a nursing home, but I'm looking at a 24/7 job. How do other caregivers who are alone do it? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
I'd likely consider what lies ahead regarding her daily care and decide if you are able to take it on. It's quite involved and would she be able to afford to have outside help come in? I'd explore how that would work, is she open to help, can she afford it, would she wander, is the place set up for her mobility needs,safetywise etc.
I might also have a needs assessment done when she's ready to be released from Rehab. Then, you'll know what she's really going to need. Will she need a nursing home or some form of AL, like Memory Care? If you tell them that you can't provide all the care she'll need, they can locate a place that is suitable. I might look around now to see what is available and convenient.
I bet you'll get some responses from those who do around the clock care for their parent, who has dementia and mobility problems in the home.