My mother wants me to sit with her all day, but I have things to do. What can be done?

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T

tenderlake Asked January 2008

My mother wants me to sit with her all day, but I have things to do. What can be done?

I am caring for my mother who is 78 years old. She is suffering from congesstive heart failure and her heart is very weak. she has been with me for 7 months now. She is on alot of medication, some of which are for nerves and depression. I work during the day and I have someone stay with her while I am at work. The problem I am having is when I am at home my mother does not want me to go out of the room. She wants me to sit with her all day. She doesn't want me to do housework, go to the mailbox or even take a shower with out leaving the door open. She doesn't want me to go to the store and let my husband stay with her until I get back. She doesn't even want me to walk the dog. I keep telling her it is imposible for me to stay with her in the same room all day. I have a family and a house to take care of. It just can not be done. She won't listen to me. We have increased her nerve medication and it worked for awhile but it is getting bad again. What can I do? Please Help

Burnout Family Caregiver

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that is a lovely idea. If she is at home perhaps you might also consider a living pet. There are dogs who act as a therapy companion dogs. That way she will have interaction and a sense of security. My mom & dog are an inseparable team - with my dog monitoring my mom when she uses the walker, etc. She actually blocks my mom if she is going to do something 'dangerous" like climbing up on a stool.

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Last week while I was in the rehab part of the nursing home where my husband is now a eldery lady had a stuffed animal that had I think a tape of some kind in it when she pushed something it played music that she really enjoyed and also there are Build a Bear stores where you could design a bear for her she might enjoy that would be made especially for her you might be able to find the store on line.

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Okay, maybe this sounds too simplistic but maybe it will help her. She is sick, she is afraid, she is afraid to be alone. Get her a medium to large sized adorable, soft, cuddly, stuffed animal. Bears can work very well. They comfort our kids and I have seen many a sick adult be comforted by one. Put a giant bow on it, make a big deal of it, watch her eyes light up. Let her pick a name, develop a personality for it. Let her see it as a constant companion and protector when you are not around. It wouldn't hurt to try. Good luck. Lisa

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Hi,
Have you looked into respite care?We're looking into respite care for my mother-in-law and medicare and medicaid will help with the costs.So,definitely worth looking into.It also helps your loved one out of the house and gives you a break .(also, called senior day care).
Lorilei28

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My mother wants me to sit with her all day, but I have things to do. What can be done?

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