How do I deal with siblings not providing support?

You have a lot of company. You can try to divide up the care, letting everyone know their part. But if they don't come through, there isn't a lot you can do. One thing I've seen repeatedly, is that the adult children who don't help out have more "grief," when the elders die. I believe it's then that they wish they'd been around. The one doing the hands-on caregiving knows that they did what they could. So there is peace.
Carol

do good deeds for that God sees the deeds and so his prophet and the faithful believers. Be a role model for those selfish, so the may regain insight,or do not forget that God delay those selfish but never neglects them.





Emman

OH My God I will never complain again. My prayers are with you all

Hi Max and Artdude and everyone who is suffering with so much stress because of their unselfish caregiving.My wish for the season is to release this anger that builds up from having cop-out siblings. I am lucky to have a supportive husband and I am proud of what I do for my mother.Perhaps the best solution is to focus attention on those elusive moments when we feel good.Pay no attention to those who are undeserving. Blessings for us all.

HocusPocus I feel for you. Your sister used that as a pawn to get out of helping with expenses for your mom. My mom and sister had the kind of relationship that whatever my mom bought for my mom, mom would pay her back. Therefore when my sister makes purchases for my mom, I have to pay her back with my moms money.

I was never a great financier, for lack of other words, but since my mom got sick and I became POA of her finances I have shocked myself. I've told my mom several times that I don't know how she did it all these years and was able to save so much money but I've learned in these last 3 months that I too can do, and I've even learned how to save a little bit a month myself. There are so many resources out there for help and I've talked with so many county, state, and government agencies.

I too have had words with my brother-in-law and I won't even go into what we've argued about. He's one who likes to keep up a mess. I just call him "OLD GRANDFATHER CLOCK" cause he looks so old and I keep on going. hahahaha

Hello Christen, your story was so similar to mine. I will say my siblings were the same, I would ask for help, I get "already had plans", "Not tonight really busy".. Now that I provided care for my Mom for a year and a half, my Dad for 3 months before they passed, I have something that non of the siblings will ever take away from me is memories, even though my battery was never fully charged, I plugged along, cause I knew my parents appreciated what I was doing. Is there any place in your area that can help you with down time... I remember those days when you almost think your loosing your mind...your boyfriend must be getting frustrated, cause he knows their are other family members who could be doing the same thing your doing...your in my prayers....

my brother is 19 and has no motivation to work, go to school, or even wake up in the mornings. Me and my husband has talked our heads off about this to him and I even made him go get some kind of assistance for foos, but he thinks that is enough. He has a bad attitude and doesnt respect anything I say or asked him to do. I am at my witz end what do I do?

i have quit my job and donald (boyfriend) i moved to a different city moved in with my dad so that i can take of him, therefore i can't work.Because he demands all of my time.I agreed to take care of him because he's only 52 years old and i don't agree with putting him in a home. anyways i have 2 siblings who wont help my sister agreed to take my dad to all of his appointments and his finical stuff but yet when i phone her to ask if she will pitch in and help so i can work 1-2 times a week she flipped out and said that she will not help out she did not sign up for this and if i cant handle it than put dad in a home and while she gets mad when i phone her for anything .i'am 23 years old i to think i deserve a break but yet when i ask for one .... i'am the selfless one ... i don't understand donald does way more for my dad than my 2 siblings combined... all i get is 300 dollers a month from my sister i can't afford to do this i don't know what to do because i will not put my dad in a home .... does anyone have some answers

revenge is mine sayth the lord[

DEONNA:

Have you applied for public assistance (SSI, etc.)? If not, you should. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do with your siblings is appeal to their sense of morality when it comes to pitching in financially. And since you assumed the responsibility of caring for your mother 10 years ago, they don't feel obligated to do anything since you seem to be taking care of everything.

One of the hardest things to do is ask for help. But when it comes to the woman who bore you there shouldn't be a mountain too high to keep you from providing for her. Go to Social Services, Social Security, church, whatever you have to do.

Do it for love, and try not to resent your sibs for not stepping up to the plate. If they have any conscience and realize how important family is, they'll come around ... eventually.